0:02 Hey, what's happening? What with Ryan? I don't know if it's going to be like a prank. I don't know what's going to happen, but he just told us all to wear shirts that we don't really care about, >> which is why we're all wearing our merchandise. Careful, boys. >> Well, he has a fancy one. >> No, I just have a regular shirt. >> I feel like >> we might vomit on it or something. >> What the ████ What do you guys think is happening? >> I'm not I'm not down to vomit today. Straight up. So, I saw a big boom box. So, I thought it was going to be like male strippers or some ████ >> And they're going to ████ come on us. I hope not. >> Dude, if someone comes on me, I'm going to be really upset. >> Everybody here who comes on you, who would you be least upset at? >> Dude, it's all equal. It's all the same. >> All every come is created equal. >> Yeah, dude. If any of your guys just gets on me, I'll be really mad. >> What if I came on you without orgasm and
0:54 moaning? >> What if I was trying to come out Bart, but it shot this way? >> I'd be really mad. But what we're going to do today is another series of what would they do. >> Honestly, I hope that like when we walk inside there's just super soakers on all of our >> and then we all just water. >> You got a machete? >> Yeah. >> Okay. Come on. Come at me. >> Okay. [Applause] >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's hard, dude. >> Yeah. >> We're hiding it until the show. >> Yep. Man, I don't like when Ryan surprises us. Me neither. >> But sometimes it's good, but sometimes it's bad. >> Hope there's sushi in there. >> What' you guys do this whole time? >> It's hard to just die out here. >> Oh, sorry. Okay, come on in. Yeah, let's do it first. >> Sorry for party rocking.
1:45 >> All right. >> Okay. Okay, I've gathered you here because we've had I don't know how many hundreds of episodes of JK now >> and I feel like every time we do an episode, there's always some form of distraction and we just can't get through one article without one of you guys either. >> That's not true. That's not true. >> There's one out of a million that we did it. That's not true. >> Okay. So today, what we're going to do is we're going to get through just one clean video without any type of distractions whatsoever. So let's start by um let's let's do sunglasses off. >> Wow. >> Take it off, fool. You're the one distracting us. >> Okay. So the first thing I need you guys to do, and I need you to take it really seriously. Open the water bottles.
2:39 >> Can I drink from it? >> Don't you dare. I would have trusted I wouldn't drink from it. >> Don't trust them, dude. What? >> This is some fake ████ >> I think we're on off to a bad start. >> This is ████ fake. >> No, don't worry about it. Just uh open your water bottles. >> It's expensive. >> It's expired, right? >> Full of vinegar. >> Um >> Oh, it's expired. >> Do you really want to drink water right now? >> I'm water. >> I'll drink this one. >> Yeah. Yeah. There you go. >> Looks like we're distracted. >> So, yeah, he's already bad. So, at this point, there's going to be no distractions whatsoever. And from this point right now, this is the last time you speak during this episode. Fill your mouths up completely with water. >> Okay. >> Don't swallow. >> Don't swallow it. >> Obviously, >> don't swallow. >> This is really important. Can I get some nose strips? >> Breathe through your nose. What do you mean? >> I can't breathe through my nose. Aris. >> Oh, breathe through your ear. >> Mhm. >> Fill your mouth up all the way. Yeah. All the way.
3:29 >> Hey, don't don't be drinking it, too, cheaters. >> Oh, wait. Don't I wouldn't drink it. Trust me, you're not going to want to drink it. All right. I'm going to read you three very important rules of this episode. Okay. Rule number one is you pay attention at all times. You don't speak. You do not swivel your chair to turn around at all. And you don't get up at all. Actually, as a matter of fact, because someone here has such a hard time staying still, we're going to do one extra precaution for >> Are you okay with that? >> Just one person. Yeah. >> Are you okay with that? >> Yeah. Just cut to just cut to the end of the day when I finally get this tape out. >> That's the wrong side. >> That's the wrong side. All right. So, what we're going to do, we're going to do a little bit of special treatment. Joe is going to have to get taped down to his chair. [Applause] >> Why is everyone clapping? >> Joe is getting this award for being the most frequent had to get up to go to the bathroom between uh car like non-card
4:21 change moments. >> Mhm. >> Uh and then just get him around his chest mainly, too. >> Wait, he he has to have his hand free. >> Oh, >> one hand. One hand. One. Leave one hand. Okay. >> But then but then get him around his chest around the chair. Mhm. >> Mm- Mhm. >> His ankles. >> Mhm. Mhm. >> His kangles. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, that's good. Blindfold him. >> I thought he's kinky. >> Mhm. >> Rule number two. All right. If you spit any of your water out, you have to quickly refill it with your bottle. >> Mhm. But you have to do it very quickly because the thing is while you have no water in your mouth, that gives me permission to tase you. And if I reach you before you refill your mouth, you get tazed. But let me tell you something. This is not It's not I can't It's a flashlight.
5:12 I can't get real tasers. So the um just act shocked. We'll put it in post. But then you have to act shocked. Okay, >> cut this part out. Cut. >> You have to act You have to act shocked. It just makes the sound. It doesn't do nothing. You just just act like, you know, but don't overdo it, okay? Just act kind of like ouch >> and resume. >> Actually, there's an extension rule number two. Because I can't reach you guys as easily, I'm going to have uh one of my wrestling friends do that for me. Please welcome Electrical Latino. Show us what you got. Show. All right. So, Barb, please move forward for a sec. We're going to put electrical right behind your section. I'm in charge of YouTube. So, just hang there. Don't look at him. Don't talk to him. Don't do anything. Okay. Still, it starts now. Okay.
6:02 Are you okay? You want to get tased before it even starts? Okay, good. Okay. If you appear even generally distracted, you will get tazed. You'll get tased. You can't You got to focus. You got to stay focused. All right. If you lose water, you get tazed. Basically, if you do anything other than just pay attention quietly, you will get tased today. All right. Rule number three is at the end of the episode, whoever has the least amount of water in their bottle has to get tazed by three tasers at once. One in the balls, two on the nips. All right? So, I would You wouldn't want to just keep drinking this water. You're going to need You're going to need a lot of it. All right. Let's officially start. What's wrong? You guys have got to keep it together better than that. All right, let's
6:53 officially start the episode. Three, two, one. Welcome back to an episode of Careful Boy. [Applause] [Music] >> As you guys know, this is JK News, and when we're off the record, we get to talk about whatever we want. That's right. And when we get to talk about whatever we want, that's a very literal thing. So, uh, you know what I want to talk about today? I think I want to talk about some of my favorite >> my favorite games. You You guys cool with that by just talking about my favorite games? >> You okay with that? >> Is that Is that a cool subject? >> You guys ever heard of pointandclick games? You know what that is? So, it's a genre that existed in PC mainly during like the '9s, I would say. And basically what a point-and-click interface is is you have a character on screen and you're basically trying to solve these
7:43 puzzles by like pick up, look at, go to, you know, like things like that. You just pick up >> Anthony Lee, commands officer. >> Oh yeah, that's him right there. >> Yeah, be ashamed of yourself, bro. >> Okay, it's weird. Um, yeah. So, point andclick games. One of my favorites is called Monkey Island, and it was the one that changed my life. Monkey Island was so fun. It was about a pirate >> who really doesn't have the personality of a pirate. He's really just a regular guy. His name is Guy Brush Thrimpwood >> and he doesn't have any of the characteristics of someone you would expect to be this bloodthirsty cutthroat guy, you know. And um the cool thing is that he has to use his cunning to get through situations instead of, you know, using his brawn, you know. He he does kind of have a sword. But the most innovative part about all this is um is
8:34 that you have to use a lot of your wit to you better fill up. You better fill up. You're going to want to fill up. You have to use a lot of your wit to get through certain situations. So you sword fight with people, but the the object of it is not to win the sword fight. You have to have better insults. And the way that they would do it, it was so genius, man. The way that they did it is that the um the guy that was your opponent would would give you an insult and if you chose the correct comeback in the test, you would be allowed to essentially win the fight. But you're winning with comebacks. You're winning with like really clever oneliners. And I think that's probably the most in Excuse me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for filling back up. Um,
9:25 it's essentially that's the most innovative part about it is that you take what's meant to be like a violent scenario and it's totally nonviolent. It's more like about cleverness. Monkeys are great. There's another one called Maniac Mansion. Ooh. Which is really good because you you're split up uh with between three people and you go through the mansion. Hey, listen. Come on. Listen. This is cool. It's a cool game. You go through this mansion that's made out of a motel. And the awesome part is that you have to switch between these three kids and they're basically trying to like solve the mystery of the mansion. And it's really it's really fun. >> Happy birthday to you. >> Who's that for? >> Happy birthday to you. Nice. >> Happy birthday. That's really cool. >> Okay, that's great. That's nice. That's
10:17 pretty cool. I did not expect that. So with Maniac Mansion, the cool thing is that even though it's about the family in the house, there's a sequel called Day of the Tentacle, which really takes one of the tent tentacle creepers, I think, from the first one, and it makes him like a character that basically uh takes over the world. And it gets it gets really Oh, hey, can you What are you What are you doing? You better fill your mouth back up, man. You better fill You better fill your mouth. You better. So, as I was saying, Dave the is Excuse me. What's that? Okay, good. Thank you. Fill up. Fill up. Hey, no distractions. Don't be distracted. Just chill. Just chill. All right. So, in the tentacle, this green tentacle from the first.
11:11 Okay. Good. Get good. Is this distracting you too much? Is this a Is this a distraction? Do you not want this around? It's >> dangerous. You want this around? >> Okay, it's fine. I'll get rid of it. I'll get rid of it. >> You guys want it over here? >> Anyone want a birthday? >> S███'s going to blow. ████ Oh, ████ ████ lots of ████ M >> ████ me. All right. Uh anyway, Dave the Tentacle is really good because uh it's it's basically a time travel game as well. >> Mhm. >> And the great part about that is that the motel
12:01 >> the motel changes over time. >> Ola Soy Dora. Let's count how many bas there are in here. one in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish. Oh well. Uno do three 40 5. I know you guys might notice a little different things about me today, but um you can tell I got a haircut. So, I took a genealogy test. Turns out I'm half flack from the waist down. It means I'm broke. >> Damn, you guys are rude. Don't even talk
12:52 to me. You're like pissing me off, dude. >> So, one of the cool things is that within this genre, >> so this is Lucas Arts that makes these games. They're the ones that make Star Wars, right? >> So, they made one. >> No one's paying attention. They made an Indiana Jones game. And the crazy thing is with this Indiana Jones game, you can actually choose to either use cleverness ra >> or you can use uh you can punch a little hungry >> which is crazy. It's a mystery game. >> You can actually punch guys, >> which is really cool. You know, >> it's called Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. >> Sorry, I'm super stressed out with ice and everything. >> I don't want to get deported. >> So, he's basically rushing around trying to find Atlantis in this game, which is really amazing. And plus, it has a female protagonist that he partners with. >> It's actually really great.
13:43 >> It was one of my favorites also because you remember that scene in Indiana Jones where uh it looks like they're going to have a >> they're going to have a fight, but then instead he just takes a gun out and just shoots the guy. Do you remember that? >> So the game is very similar to that as well where you can when you get in these fights, you can just push one key and then just take the guy out with one punch, which is >> really hilarious homage to like one of the most You good? Mhm. You you good? >> All right. Good. All right, >> even better is there's a second Monkey Island, which is way cooler than the first, but the character Guy for Sneaker, he's the same. He's the same balding idiot. He's a guy has no business being a pirate, but he tries his best. >> That's what he can, you know. >> Uh,
14:33 okay. later. Okay. No, no, no, no. [Applause] Careful. Careful. Electric's right behind you, dude.
15:28 Don't be distracted, guys. Trying to tell you about my >> uh I'd like to get back to the games, please, if that's okay. You're losing some water there. ████ ████ I thought you're running a little low, bud. Fill her up. Oh, good job.
16:31 You good, sir? You good? All right. Okay. Cool. Cool. Go cool. Go. Okay. Episode. You got to keep it together just a little bit. >> I can't really help you with that. I can't. I can't. No, >> I don't think so. >> Yeah, I don't think that's anywhere near here, man. Okay. Well, thanks anyway. Um, I think so. Okay. Okay. Thanks, man. >> All right. Um, so anyway, um, Indiana
17:23 Jones and the Fate of I like this. Why was it such a good game? Because it allowed you to choose between using your brain to solve puzzles and actually using, you know, your brun. So, it it's it's very like it kind of molds to the player, which was kind of >> hot dogs. Get your hot dogs >> longer than your ex lasted. >> Oh, good. All right. Hope you guys are hungry. Ah, you want ketchup and mustard? Do you like it raw between the buns? How is it how you like these hot dogs? [Music] Hot dogs. Get your hot dogs. Hot dogs. You better put it in your mouth. It's nice and wet and juicy.
18:13 Get your hot dogs. Get your hot dogs. Hot dogs. dogs. Smell it. Smell the juicy meat right in front of your face. M hot dogs. What are you looking at? Look at this juicy sausage in your face. Aren't you used to sausage in your face? Huh? Don't you like it when sausages get in your face? Smell it. >> Smell it. Smell it. >> Careful guy. >> Oh yeah. You tied up. Let's get kinky over here since you're all tied up. Let's get a nice juicy smell of this hot dog and sausage in your mouth. >> Okay, good. >> Thank you. >> Nice. Thank you.
19:04 >> All right. Anyway, so let me let me move on to another Lucas Arts game. This is what this one's called The Dig. The Dig is one of my favorite ones. It's it's basically you got a marine company [Music] Marines. It's kind of like Armageddon. [Music] >> Shut my fat down and swept my head. What could this day bring? It could be anything. I get the phone call. I got to help the phone. Go girl will save a day.
19:58 [Music] [Applause] [Music] I shove my Murphy bed, sat down and scratched my head. What could this day bring? It could be anything. I get the phone call. I got to help them all. Go girl will save the day. Chia will not get away. It didn't take me long. I find the ticking. >> That's pretty cool, right? >> One day.
20:48 [Music] >> You know what? Hey baby, I could I want to be ninja. I want to be ninja. I want to chop chop chop chow down to chin town. I want to be ninja. I started training hard. I think I could go far. I am a natural. That's matter of factual. I learned to drop your heart even while feeding ducks I need also very far. I do karate moves girls. I look at
21:39 watching Netflix. I try do everything like on the big screen. And you guys, you know what? I might do it. I might be a ninja. I'm going to be ninja. I'm going to be ninja. >> I'm going to chop chop chop chow down. Take chow down to Chinat. I'm going to be I practice every day. I practice every cup. You know I won't give up. I got to try my best. >> Have a hot dog. >> Nice. You guys good? You guys good?
22:29 >> What the I be gone that long, guys. What the ████ is up? What's going on here? Why is this such a mess? There's even more holes than when I, you know, last. I I don't even know what to say. I mean, how are you going to film the next episode? You know, it's so messy and I just don't understand what's going on here. Like, pull this ████ together. >> Nick, what's so funny? I know we never met, but um Bart, are you gonna clean this up? Ryan's going to clean this up cuz uh Joe, do you think this is funny? Anthony, good times, right? Good times.
23:25 >> Somebody dropped their water bottle. >> Anyone want a hot dog? >> Michael, it's it's fine, dude. This is the last episode anyway. >> Oh, in that case. >> Yeah. That has been an episode of JK News, our very last episode in LA. >> And this has been the Careful Boys. We are currently off the record, which means we get to talk about whatever we want. [Music] Woo! [Music]
24:18 I am [Music] All right. [Music] Thank you. >> All right. You guys are good. You guys are good. You guys are good. >> All right. [Applause] Wow. >> Do another do another take. Another take. >> We'll do another episode. Wow.
25:12 >> I think I know this guy. >> I failed. >> Okay. All right. Ready? Three, two, one. [Music]
// end of tape
