0:00 so you as soon as she's about to leave the house you do it with her real quick my wife go I'm going to hang out with J you know and they like talk a lot so I was like oh bet top of the [Laughter] morning top of the morning the way the way that you made yourself seem so [Music] small welcome to a very real episode of careful boys where we address a very today problem that I think a lot of people will find very helpful is your partner entitled to be upset with you over something you said in a group chat with the boys no well first off no how's she getting this info there's a rat in the group um I guess there the number of way she got it but she went through my phone however does that change whether I don't
0:50 know so like I think everyone okay I think it's pretty normal for everyone to kind of like work out their thoughts and maybe vent or even joke about you behind your back I think that's human nature so like I give everybody a pass if they've said something about me that wasn't meant for my ears because that's something that they need to work on and then when they confront me or whatever what when that happens it's a different thought it's an evolved thought but if people are saying some ████ up cuz there's a fine line right there's like there's like criticism and like you might be roasting someone but there's also like absolute like friend of me jealousy or like some ████ up ████ that's when I'm like oh I see your true colors you and I think that what depending on what it's what is said about the significant other like it could be some let's say this let's get a little more specific uh so let's say
1:42 that it's uh a group chat with the boys and the partner just sees that that the guys are communicating like very crassly or like pigs like yeah like like what like what uh in our careful boys chat you know Anthony keeps putting all those hot pictures of a in there slam imagine six an yeah six anthon in a group chat and they're upset at dude that's freaky it's a lot of nude pictures in there so what are they upset at that that that's not how you talk in real life oh it's that thing of like oh what how could you talk like that I think it helps when you talk a little bit like that in real life like but is it like cuz my whole thing with with me and Tiff is like I want her to know that when I'm talking with my friends or with her it's the same in a lot of ways maybe that's not
2:33 like but most people aren't like that though you have different friends that you act differently with I don't think that's the same at all no so for example like if you're in a sports group right you have dudes that are going to paint their whole body the color of the team yeah right imagine you go to Thanksgiving dinner at the in-laws and like JY I think different groups bring different things out of you and I think that's normal yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but there's that fine line of like this group is going to be complicit to my ████ cheating and they're going to you know we're doing bad ████ ████ versus like this group is um we just talk a little bit it has nothing to do with doing anything different not doing anything if you're sitting next to Tiff you're not going like AOC we might though but we might because
3:23 look cuz TI when she kicks it when she she's at the gym at the gym with us I bring it with us when we're at the Jim we have like really crass conversations and we're saying really wild ████ the whole time and that's dope but you know that I think that helps if you're able to have those are are you saying like there's your character doesn't change that much and Tiff has seen so much of you that like she won't be surprised is what you're saying yeah like the way I'm talking with if I was s the way I would talk to you guys in here would be the same if like Tiff was in the room too but then the difference is she'll be sitting there roasting your ass while you're saying those things maybe but then I guess this prompt it's about if she doesn't really see a side of you that she gets turn like it's jarring to her she's like what the ████ and then she gets upset she got to stop snooping around dude but then let's say she's also not only mad at you but like mad at
4:14 you and your friends and being like how could you be friends with these guys the way they they talk like that I would call her dumb y because I'm like put it back on her you think you you think you only seen one side of me honey you have no idea yeah that's us yeah that's I I think like for us when we talk crazy it's just like a it's just like those one time things that's not who we are you you're not really going to do that yeah you're just like yeah I'm ████ fist her off and then you know what I'm saying and then and and then you turn and then you turn around you're like oh how you doing today yes sir absolutely you know you're very classic absolutely very class it's just it's just that one group of friends in the chat you know everyone's you know loyal good people it's just it's just like our
5:04 little one ████ side that we're just like ████ if that's who you are though it would be kind of weird that you've never joked around like that around her that would be the weird part that would be the weird part so if you're like some cleancut ████ and then you you know you met your wife at the church and then and then like you have like friends like us and she never knew yeah and then she and then she hung out with us and she never knew we talk like that and act like that that would be kind of a a really I would actually be like shocked at like her if I was her I would be ████ that would be the big deal that was my point is like if you're a completely different person with a group chat and then like with your partner then I think that would be make the biggest issue but yeah I think I think okay I get what you're saying I think it's if I think your wife or your
5:55 significant other should have seen all parts of you already like all the colors of you if you will yeah but in certain groups those colors might get saturated more but they should have seen all the colors right so like let's say if I have like a military friend and we like think it's so funny to like but ████ each other in a sleeping B and we're just ████ around which is hilarious wow they might not have like like Gio might not have seen that humor to that extent to that exent but she's seen me do stupid like gay jokes here gay jokes there am I going to do that to her family no cuz I don't have that relationship yeah but I think like if she saw that and she was like what the then I think that might be a problem cuz I might have been hiding it from her depends how drastic the difference is right okay let's let's say okay how
6:45 about this cuz I'm just going to get so specific cuz it's happened to somebody um what if what if she gets into the group chat somehow and then she sees that your friends who are not black are using the nword in the group chat and gets mad you for being friends with them W we're all from the '90s though but is it a group of Latinos some Asian guys okay cuz I know all right so I have friends who never evolved yeah since 200 ████ 3 like they still talk a certain way they still dress they're in a time capsule mhm and and again it's like she's never been around this group and heard it and seen it like like it's that's what I'm wondering right cuz I'm like that's to me that's weird yeah like you're not the
7:35 one saying it but they are and now she's mad at you that you are friends with them oh or like you you didn't check them or you didn't do anything yeah that cuz she's going through the group what's the context are they just like using it like ████ or they yeah using it like ████ they're not using it like they're going to plan in a race war they're just like they're not they're not they're not racist they're just using it they're they're hipop heads from 2003 yeah they're mob deep fans yeah just quoting lyrics the whole the time yeah is that is she wrong for being upset about that in that way saying like you need to cut ties with them yeah I think so I think so I'm like it's all about intent and like you know that these fools never evolved and they just speak like this the whole time yeah it's my dumbass homies from high school yeah it's like it's no different than like um me and Nikki were doing a podcast
8:25 recently where like one of the am the ████ things was like hey am I an ████ if my uh boyfriend like I found out he like calls women ████ or whatever I'm like that's F I mean that's just ████ funny to me like you know to me and to and to Nikki it's funny because I talk like that but she knows how I really am exactly she knows you're paring a guy that's being serious if he's like a actual like red pilled dude that's going around saying ████ these ████ yeah exactly no these guys are all like and watching Andrew Tate and ████ cuz it's actually this actually happened to a guy I know and and they broke up over this what well is she black no she's not black she's Asian well that's stupid she got mad at him because his friends who's like who he's been friends with for 15 years she's just mad at the group of
9:16 black guys using the nword while she's Asian and she's like that I that be but they're Asian dudes right yeah they everybody in this story is Asian okay but uh or yeah and then she saw this where the ████ is she from Arcadia she got mad at him and then and then gave him an ultimatum of either you let go of these friends who are deplorable to me or I go and he chose the friends 15-year friendship yeah I mean the fact that he's going to hang around with these guys that are like hold like still stuck in 2003 it's like ████ yeah cuz I'm trying to make him feel better about his choice cuz he's like pretty torn about it and I'm like dude that you did the right thing because that's nobody should that's not a business if you give someone that kind of power that then you lose control of your own relationships I think that's insane hey what's up guys just in case you've noticed some of these lovely Jade pieces on some of our
10:06 men here uh just know that you can get some for yourself over at the jj. uh visit our friends here at this site and check out some of the pieces they've got the selection is massive you can find all kinds of different designs and they even do some custom work so if you want to check them out uh we'll be very grateful we love these guys over at J Jewelers and uh we're happy for you guys to be able to get the same same stuff and also I think it's also just a misalignment where she should find a guy that values that like her then they'll both be on the same page you know that's a big value yeah it's like almost having two people with like different senses of humor it's like it's not going to work if this doesn't if this thing doesn't work there's going to be a bunch of other things just like that's true yeah so it's just a misalignment just find another dude that would also get mad and then yeah You' be super happy yeah yeah
10:57 it sucks cuz that's literally what happened how how long were they together group chat is like the least harm it's like the most they were together for years and she just found out he has friends that say stuff like that she just saw the the specific group chat yeah she just saw her first ever dude's group chat I think I think and the way that what the fck yeah she just saw her first ever do what year was did this happen this just happened oh this just they broke up like days ago but w wow context wise right I'm assuming it's how we all used it in 2003 yeah like a non-racial way like like yo yo homie yo hip hop bro it's like saying dude he dude but if it was okay so but I would make so just kind of like for argument sake like let's say it was where it was
11:48 with a hard eer and it was like a plan to do some destruction toward a group you know and then you're reading it and you're just like what what the ████ like I didn't know you guys had a hate group chat like a Manifesto like a Manifesto that to me is like really that makes sense to me while you would be like what the ████ well that's crazier than saying any word yeah yeah it's like it's like you wait you're a part of this hate group chat what the ████ that's crazy they don't even need to use the hard art if you see plans and blueprints that's already crazy schematics yeah when I when I hear this from her it sounds like that's what she thinks is happening right she's taking it that to the to the extreme I think it just conflicts with her value system it conflict what the hell is her value system her value system is to is to Showcase uh revolt
12:39 against these types of things uhhuh yeah you know what I mean yeah like she's trying to parade that image of like I don't put up with that out here I won't put up with it with you and your friends even though they're privately acting like that just to be doofuses so she i'm like ████ you should never play One online game yeah you can't use the iPhone that's made by Chinese children then right you can't do you got to be if you're like that you better be squeaky clean across the board never win the competition with her own kind what if she's what if like okay what if subie is playing ████ Call of Duty and like this chick is in the room and she hears you know all kinds of ████ every Ral that yeah it's all 12-year-old saying it too what is that your value system or whatever some pioneers of racial epithet yeah these people are literally breaking down barriers breaking new ground breaking new ground exactly she's like sub you can no longer
13:29 play Call of Duty cuz there's way too much racism and misogyny in those in those games she standing back there like what' you say ████ what are you what are you talking about I'm playing a ████ game right now man come on yeah that's what's hard is is this dude is so right now it's fresh he's so devastated I think he dodged a bullet that's what I'm saying to him too I'm like dude you dodged one of the biggest bullets of your life and it's not like I'm condoning the word or anything like that I think it's all about if you have a partner you would you would hope that they are there to understand like hey what's going on you know like what does this mean and then you would hope that they'll listen when you say like oh these are just guys stuck in 2003 and you're like ah I get it yeah I have friends like that too yeah and I'm like that just goes to show like how very
14:20 small her world is cuz that means she doesn't have any friends like and I'm like how old are you I guarantee she wasn't always like this she got in one of the toxics they all you know what's funny she probably into her girls chat girls group chat talked about this situation yeah guarante and then all those girls influenced her and then next thing you know next you know she's trying to be like she's trying to be like oh h on me I told this ████ but the whole time like ████ you need to shut the ████ up you know what I mean you want a little life hack you want a little life hack you ready for this every time you know your chick is about to go hang out with her girlfriends or whatever it is have sex with her you know why because when she gets there she's not going to start complaining about you oh I I already do
15:12 that Steve Steve I already do that then these other ████ going to be commiserating and then they're going to sit there and go man so as soon as she's about to leave the house you do it with her real quick yeah no my wife goes my wife goes I'm going to hang out with J you know and they like talk a lot so I was like oh bet top of the morning de [Laughter] top of the morning the way the way that you made yourself seem so small top of the morning I mean it's true but then yeah and she oh you love me I'm like of course I love you all right baby have fun that's it to me I don't understand relationships where you top of the morning you have a a adversarial relationship with your s ific other and then you take the words of your friends
16:03 before you do of your partner that's ████ weird to me because it actually should be you and your partner against not even against your friends but that's the person you're building a family with for the future right so that should be the unit first yeah I also don't think it's any of her business man correct I just don't think it's like why are you interjecting and why are you making this so serious like yeah that's my favorite line Steve you know what I mean serious an inconsequential group chat that changed the world in no way has your girls ever wanted to look at your group chats like just as a of curiosity never even brings it up she knows D she knows it's filled with nonsense I I show Han when I think something's really ████ hilarious and I'm like I can't actually tell it to you you got to read the journey oh in one of
16:53 our threads we make fun of our friend that can't spell and we just ████ dunk on him so hard and sometimes what but like we always make fun of him but he it's okay and U he's okay with it and my me and my wife are just going through the thread just ████ laughing just go like oh look what so and so said that's a fun time that's a fun time why are you bullying this guy smack can smack can hear me literally play Call of Duty with these guys and so like she if it's anything like that she could not be more disinterested yeah yeah and like we're talking about if you listen to people on Call of Duty they're inventing new racial doing combos different combinations genius things that have never been said before what that's genius there's no soft opening there's no soft opening it's like so creative I was like so creative yeah yeah but I
17:43 just think they're not they're culturally they just don't mix like they could be Asians but it's just it's just what they want out of their friend group she should probably Listen to More hip-hop yeah she should also open a little she should also not convince herself that she has these magical greater values exactly like what are you talking she's standing for something though you know there probably jungle Asian and a and a high class Asian that's what it sounds like high class Asian jungle Asian and high class Asian that's probably what happened yeah cuz you know them high class Asians are up tight bro bro it's so annoying like no you got to use Dyson for this and then I'm like shut the ████ up I'm Japanese but I want i' rather go to Vietnamese party any day Vietnamese party no you know some people are going to be like yo you need a vacuum first s for snacks dry it off
18:33 like no ████ just ████ clean this ████ don't make it a plan just clean it how do you like to do it what's your what's yours I don't know I just clean it I mean just ████ you got to start with something first vacuum you're a Korean jungle agent dude yeah dude from Hawaii that's true that makes it
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