0:00 Yeah, I was in love. >> [laughter] >> You were in love after? Just one of Just one of them cuz we really connected. But >> [laughter] >> How did you guys connect? Trauma bonding. >> were talking about like where she grew up and then our family's from the same place and then um >> Oh. And welcome back to another episode of The Careful Boys where yes, we were just talking about 24-hour massage parlors and which ones are legit in Vegas. If you guys have any uh hookups [laughter] Doubt India. >> I go to 24-hour fitness. Fitness I I I know how those work. My buddy My buddy went to all of them. All All You're talking like he he wanted you to prove what you just said. Well, which ones are code for we're going to do rub and tug? >> Okay, so all of those late-night ones, [laughter] right? All of them have both options. All of
0:51 them. >> like You talking about the ones in Vegas? Yes. The 24-hour 10-minute for 24K. So, um he was having some back issues and this was like pretty late at night and we were like after the party he was like, "Oh, I just want to I just want to go get a massage." And he goes, "But I actually want a real one." >> My sciatica's flaring up again. I'm sick of these chicks trying to jerk me off. So, every My back sucks. So, every single one we were going into they wouldn't give a real They wouldn't They would encourage uh the tug by code. >> was he going? What was he wearing? I'll do whatever. I don't care. I'm just here with you, you know? But he actually wanted a real He wanted a real massage and he and then he's like, "No, like I want a real one like for an hour and my back is ████ up." And then like a mama song would be like, "Yeah, a real one." Yeah.
1:41 Mama songs would pull up with a lacy bra on and then I'm just like clearly this ████ is a Jackie Jackie spot. >> What year was this? 2010. I have a feeling they had to like modernize. Yeah. I just I again, this We're talking about Little darlings the other week about how like like old school truckers and like natives or native Nevadian >> Locals, they're pissed about it. >> Just pissed that they don't do like $15 hand jobs anymore. And it's like, dude. Like they ruined that place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's just a regular strip joint. >> Like you can barely ████ there. >> [laughter] >> They have the option? I think they have the option, but it's highly encouraged to just get jacked off. Highly encouraged. >> encouraged. You want to know the Do you want to know how you can really tell? >> [clears throat] >> This is the best way to tell. You go and you go on uh reviews of the massage place.
2:31 If you see a ton of women leaving one stars, that's how you know it's a jackie. Really? Because when a woman comes in there, it's the wrong demo. So they not they don't really massage. So the women will always leave going, "What the ████ was that?" They just go, "Woah, woah, woah. Okay, get out, get out, get out." And then you'll see a like eight in a row, "This place is horrible." And it's all women. So that's that's what you need to look for. One star. That's my theory, at Used to be on those a lot. What do you mean you Wait, what? [laughter] What do you mean you used to be on that? Doing the lit a lot. Oh, like going to like the massagy massagy? But I stopped. [laughter] Well, you stopped? >> Yeah. What's like a lot? Like once a week? No, like Twice a week? Like a few ti- like I uh Like multiple times A day? No, no. Like a month. Oh, multiple ti-
3:22 >> [laughter] >> How How come you stopped? I went to Well, it was getting really expensive. How much is it? >> Like to do the It was like 200 2 like 200 Every time? Oh, man. And it would it would add up. >> Wait, are you ████ Cuz that's ████ prices. You got scammed, bro. >> $200 for a hand job is wild. >> No, I would You know what I mean? >> [laughter] >> No. I thought a thousand dollars was ████ price. No. $200? You know what I mean? His first exposure was $200 for a touch a little bit, does a nut, and walk away. dad was like, "You got scammed. It's not a thousand dollars to have to do the do. It's even cheaper in ████ Amsterdam. Yeah, Amsterdam is crazy. >> Yeah, it's crazy. They're hot in Amsterdam, bro. Yeah, it's crazy. >> in your opinion, do you think a 24-hour massage place can afford to not jerk off dudes for operating at 24 hours a day? No way. >> [laughter]
4:12 >> They have to do it. They have to do it? 24 hours, bro? >> Cuz they're not good at massage. They don't, [laughter] they suck. Like they just rub you. Yeah. And I'm like, what the ████ is this? They do They do They do Reiki. >> [laughter] >> Okay, turn around. >> Yeah, and I'm like, bro, what the hell? Bro, [laughter] what the hell? They go, "Okay, turn around time now." Yeah. Also, I went to a few in Asia, that ruined it all the ones here. >> What? Oh, they crushed it over there? Cuz it's like three dollars? It's like 40 bucks, but it's like a really good massage. You said 40 bucks? >> Yeah. Oh, like it's an actual massage? >> Like a hella good massage. >> And then they jack you off still? Right. >> [laughter] >> Why you talking to me about that? The massage part, yeah. No, but the massage is actually hella good though. Yeah. So it's a bothy? What does that mean? You get both? Oh, yeah. Like you they massage and then you ejaculate?
5:02 >> a steam room and a sauna. Wow. Yeah. Damn. >> That is worthwhile. Shout out to Vietnam. That's cool. I didn't get that. The tourism board is like, yep, yep, thank you. >> [laughter] >> They In Vietnam, they they give you like a a menu. They show you sometimes on their phone like which girl, right? >> Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, so you know. I know because they're they're talking about they go massage boom boom, right? Massage boom boom or whatever. Yeah. And then you're like, "What's the boom boom part?" And then they're like, "You see? You like? You like?" I'm like, "No, no, no, no, no, I'm good, I'm good." Cuz I don't believe that they look like what they look like there. There's no way. >> Should have checked. >> Oh, really? They Did it match the photo in Vietnam? I have no idea. I didn't check. >> Oh, I mean, I'll ask the ████ experienced guy. No, I I had a It was great. Nice. But did they they look like the photo? >> Yeah, I I was in love. You were in love after? Just Just one of them cuz we really connected.
5:53 But >> [laughter] >> How did you guys connect? Trauma bonding. We were talking about like where she grew up and then our family's from the same place in Vietnam. Oh. I got her number after. And she let me do it like twice. The other times were free? I think so. Oh no, I I gave her a >> [laughter] >> I gave her a tip, but it wasn't, you know, crazy. Wow. Dang. Twice in one session? >> if my mom is watching this on her phone. Wait, so you went on a date with her and then you still tipped her after? >> [laughter] >> No. Did you bring her flowers for the second time? No, ████ I should have. I [laughter] should have. But next time. Bringing a hooker flowers is class. Isn't it right? Also taking her on a date and then tipping her afterwards. [laughter] Take her on a date or like walking her to her next appointment cuz you got to make sure she's safe. That's crazy. Make sure you're all good. Could Could you
6:43 really see yourself like rescuing someone from that life? No. You look like a hero. No, I mean, I would try, but no. >> [laughter] >> All you got to do is save one. You don't have to save them all. You know what's funny? Actually, one time this massage therapist, she was like, "Oh, we just finished." She was like, "My daughter is single." Huh? That's crazy. And she's the same age as >> she jacked you off, she goes, "By the way, you'll be perfect for my daughter." As a client or as like a Like to marry. What? Maybe Maybe she jacked him off and then like saw the ████ and was like, "This is very strong." >> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you like, "Yo, let me see a picture." Um yeah, maybe. You think she's always [laughter] hooking up her daughter? "I met this nice boy today I jacked off. He's very chill. >> the heck, dude? >> he's really sweet. No, I think the reason why is because most of the guys
7:33 that go in there are probably older. Oh. >> And I'm probably the only one that's like younger. I see. I like how she doesn't like judge and she's like, "You know what? Probably none of the guys here that come get jacked off are good for my daughter." He's just like She's like, "You know what? You're different. You're a young one. You might be great for my daughter." And then she's thinking that while she's like beating you off. You think you could be like, "All right, if I started dating your daughter, can we still have this relationship? Like, is that cool?" It's just business, right? Yeah, yeah, for her. >> For her. You're falling in love. >> [laughter] >> That But after that, I was like, I should probably chill. You just date them both at the same time. A lot of money that adds up, huh? That's what I'm saying, like every time. I mean, I I think if people do a profession for long enough, it does just become work. Cuz even like let's let's say like ████ Navy SEALs are killing
8:23 people, they could shoot someone in the head and be like, "Oh, you're going to watch a movie like next week." So, I feel like if they do jack people off, that's it's like nothing now. They could literally just uh jack you off and then go, "You want to meet my daughter?" And it's like really normal. >> [laughter] >> Or that's just the way to survive those conditions. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Aw. I think if I was at my wedding and I know that If I was at my wedding and I knew that Nikki's mom had jacked me off at some point, that'd be pretty pretty strange. >> Yeah, right. You like that. I think I'd love it. >> [laughter] >> The minister's just like, uh speak now or forever hold your peace. And you just [laughter] look over at her mom. That's pretty cute, actually. Yeah, it's cute. Hey, you're blue, dude. Balling me. So, you're spending 600 bucks a month. You could have had like a Range Rover. Oh, yeah.
9:13 ████ >> [laughter] >> Six Where are you paying 600 a month for a Range Rover? Or something, right? Maybe not the not the full price. >> incentive lease. Yeah, high incentive lease. >> from 15 years ago. Yeah, dude. No way, dude. Okay, I got a Tesla minimum 750, dude. >> For a Range Rover? All right, unless we're talking about the s████████ and cheapest I'm just saying I'm very impressed that you were like spot on with your pricing for like hand jobs in, you know, Amsterdam prostitutes, but then when we're talking about leases, like, "Wait, you're a little off right now." Okay, well, that was a 2016 lease, so >> So, what's what do you What do you think? >> ago. Well, what's the appropriate like value for like getting a a rub and tug in America? >> What's like What's a good value, a good price? >> You shouldn't pay more than 160. >> [laughter] >> Is that including tip? >> Why did you know that instantly? Total. The speed. 160.
10:03 >> Oh, 160 total? >> 160 means After tip. And you also do it, too. ████ yeah. >> ████ Oh, wow. Wow, 160. >> just rub and tug? >> You shouldn't pay more than like 100. That's what I'm saying. >> Oh, so for only $60 more >> [laughter] >> That's how they do it, huh? They they get you halfway. coke or do you want the large coke for 81 cents? >> as well get the large coke. That's it. That's my go-to order at the ████ They're always like, all right, here's a medium bucket, and for 50 cents more, here's like the large. >> like hand jobs. >> I don't, either. >> Yeah. Then, why do you do it? >> Becau- Well, now I'm like, um, I'll go massage hopping. Yeah. But, I thought you quit. No, not not anymore. He's He's dreaming. >> But, he said now, that's why it confused me. >> No, before. >> What's massage hopping? Like, I'll just go to and tell them that they're the hot cuz sometimes they're old ladies. >> Oh, you like get a You get a a good
10:54 look, and then you peace out if it's like >> "Show me who who who y'all have." Yeah. They they they'll bring the roster out? >> Yeah, and I'm like, "I'm good." And I leave. You You actually refuse? Yeah. Wow, you're ████ >> Do they get angry with you? No. You're a gangster, too, man. >> Because it's too expensive. I'm like, I'm I'm I'm I'm paying you money. I'm going to You know what I mean? Yeah, you might as well get someone hot. You don't want to pay money and get someone ugly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Ugly ones might be like better, though, you know? That's true, they try harder. Huh? Would you rather have a ugly hooker that's really good or a hot ass hooker that sucks ass? Second one. Yeah, same. >> Second one. Yeah. But, ugly is like that's hard. But would you rather have like an average hooker that's really good versus like hottest one that sucks? I'd probably I'd probably go average. In hindsight. >> How average though? Yeah, what is
11:44 average? >> is how average? >> like as a man we can convince ourselves that it'll get better. So True. You know what I mean? So like ████ a car dealer at ████ Binion's or something. Like that average. Is that average? That's average to you as a hooker? You think What's average then? >> [laughter] >> I feel like an average hooker's got to at least be presentable. That's just an assumption. Like 60-year-old Demi Moore. What? That's average? >> I don't know. Um no, I don't think Demi Moore is average. >> Even though she's 60 now? Yeah, I think that that's just like a hot old lady. >> What's an example of an average girl? Yeah, you tell me give me a name. >> No, this is an average hooker and average girl. Okay, give me average hooker and >> Average hooker, yeah. What's the It depends on your establishment. >> to be like a five to six out of 10, but like in your lingerie. All right, like
12:34 it looks like Kathy Griffin. Is that average hooker? Yeah, that could be. But why are all these examples over 50-year-old women? >> [laughter] >> Cuz they're average, I think. Cuz we're trying to avoid under 21, Joe. Remember? We talked about this before the show. It could be between 50 to 21. That's true. >> [laughter] >> 50 to 21. How about Britney Spears, Joe? Cuz we need Now you think she's a ████ matron. Yeah, she's pretty gross right now. >> Well, not not right now, but you thought it back in the day you weren't into Britney Spears, which was wild. >> Ugly in the prime era? >> No, I didn't think she was ugly. I said she's not my type. >> [laughter] >> She would be so heartbroken. Not my preference. How about this? Two hookers, right? Megan Fox now Oh my god. >> Really good at sucking and ████ and tucking. Sold. Or >> think we need to hear the second option.
13:24 Good. Or Megan Fox in Transformers in her prime when she first came out average skills. >> Wait, you haven't seen Megan Fox now? Did you not just see her recent post? She thirst trap posted like two days ago. >> watched Expendables 4 and she doesn't look that good in there. No, right now now is Now they fixed her again? like this week. She's prime now. >> Oh, so I did a bad example. I did a bad example. terrible example. >> She's prime right now. >> take Can I take it back? >> No, no, no, wait. We want you to be surprised. >> she settled into her plastic surgery. Oh. >> [laughter] >> I think I think yeah. We're talking about like just Yeah, she deleted all her posts? >> Yeah. Yeah, she got fixed. What the ████ Now is way better. Okay. >> Oh my god. She got a big ass. Oh my god. >> like a hooker now. >> Yeah. I mean like in terms of like when
14:15 you putting her in the hooker form Yeah. >> Okay, how about this Anthony? That She's a elite hooker. >> That with average skills? Okay. Or that >> someone Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So you rather have a Or or what? No, or what? hot hooker I need to see more pictures. No, she wants hot hooker average skills. That's what I'm trying to say. Everyone wants hot hooker average Everyone wants hot hookers hot great everything amazing everything but it's never going to be that. [laughter] Really? He knows by experience. Bro. She's perfect at everything why why she a hooker? >> [laughter] >> She's perfect at everything. This ████ is crazy. Crazy, right?
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