0:00 I can't hold it completely like sometimes it'll go away and then I can it'll come back and then I have to sneeze what about your farts you're holding your farts no of course not that's not healthy you shouldn't do that you get indigestion yeah yeah [Music] does anybody know somebody or I know you ever I know people yeah we know we know we know people answering all fast people don't mutual people eat this show sometimes I just met you so I sort of know you I kind of know people and I think we're all in each other's circle now you know is that what you wanted I guess I know that's exactly where I was going with this I know I know dancers I know a lot of dancers does it count if they don't know me back yeah yeah it counts it's just about you knowing it so it's parasocial okay we know people is that the article that's what it's about do you know people
1:02 yeah I'll do that sometimes it hurts to see people do that it looks so unsatisfying Anthony what are you gonna say should I Google my symptoms no let's keep on talking about the the joy of holding it why do you hold it in um it depends on like the setting like maybe it's uh they're just doing the Reeboks like maybe it's like a this type of setting I don't want to sneeze and ruin a moment you could go like this and hold your dolls and sneeze out your mouth like that it's actually possible for you to hold it I feel like it's impossible for me I can't hold it completely like sometimes it'll go away and then I can it'll come back and then I have to sneeze what about your farts you're holding your farts no of course not that's not healthy you shouldn't do that you should get indigestion yeah how about like when you sneeze like this and then you like wipe it on yourself
1:53 this food was nice bro that's true oh man I sneeze without snot particles it's moisture particles but it's not like full-on like stringy booger yeah but I mean it's still coming out at 100 miles an hour so you block it you go with your hands yeah you go like that am I when I'm in my house I'll go on to sneeze it feels great you go and then just boogers flying all over your couch yeah you don't do that inside your shirt that's a good move don't do the antifa well she doesn't have a shirt to do it with no I do this I do this I love this oh sorry yeah and then I do it you sneeze on a friend yeah yeah
2:45 we know each other then this yeah I would also rather do that but there's this dude who uh injured his throat and blew a hole in it Jesus Christ after holding in a sneeze that's his excuse he was just deep throwing the man that's exactly what it said here I think we got to the bottom he got caught he's at the doctors and then they're like what's wrong with your throat oh my uh how did my sneeze and the doctor said no you were just deep throating a man yeah because you were ████ sounds like a doctor don't worry I got the perfect thing for that he's like yeah bro I know you're sucking dick Shut up I know those throat bruises when I see him like sure I don't
3:35 want to sneeze he says he's writing in the chart he's like I almost feel like ████ if you're really telling the truth that the doctor's like I know you suck a dick feel like doctors do that anyway yeah so this guy was um he tried to Halt a sneeze by pinching the nose and holding his mouth closed try that you know what's crazy that does that does mess you up for sure oh does he think it's gonna come out of here that's what I had to do I had to go to the hospital because I did that what did you do one time on the way to Vegas my ears were popping so I try to like you know you like too much pressure right yeah too much pressure so I was doing that really hard and something went extra pop and then uh I had to go to the hospital I'm like are you scared fix my eardrum you popped no I didn't pop it or did you like push it out almost like a sphincter like a
4:25 hernia I don't know exactly what happened but something happened to it and it like instantly got infected oh ████ it's like a weird thing yeah so then I had to go and that's the first time I took Vicodin there you go it was a doctor like now he's addicted you need to let you need to stop letting your boyfriend yeah yeah I know what it was yeah yeah so this guy started to have strange symptoms including painful swallowing a change in his voice and a popping sensation and swelling in his neck sounds like dick to me sounds like sucking dick doctor said that streaks of air had become trapped in some of his throat tissue including semen and it rubbed her yeah oh there you go holy ████ it said that on so spontaneous rupture of the pharynx is very rare usually caused by vomiting to wretching heavy coughing some kind of trauma and dick sucking and holding sneezes now I
5:16 guess yeah that's a ████ up I'm not in a lot of situations where I do have to hold it so then like like even holding my pee and stuff like that so then I think my tolerance got weaker like you know when you're in school or like always at the offer like in places where you're just like oh you can't let a rip yeah then you're like you you build a muscle for it you know that's why you gotta always hold it you gotta always try to practice to hold it really I don't know because I I definitely lost the ability that it's like oh I got a fart and like I'm in public but I'm like hey do you guys have loud farts or do you have silent farts oh predominantly silent silent silent customers waiting for the drink you're like you know what I tried to do sometimes this is this is I don't know if you guys
6:07 tell me if you do this but sometimes I like to challenge myself when I'm farting and I notice like it's like a big one I'll try to like release it slowly oh yeah yeah me too for sure to let it go and there's a little Challenge and I just go oh still got it it's like when you got like a ████ bottle of soda that was taken and you gotta like I'm a firm believer if you got a little you gotta let a little air out I had this one black homie who had the funniest thing have you ever had a friend who would like uh shake his ass cheek while he farts and it goes no never I've never had a homie who shook his ass I could never remember to do that because like by the time I remember it's already in the past yeah yeah but this fool would remember every time he would grab his ass cheek and he would he would shake it like this so the air the opening goes like that and then when he farts it goes yeah
6:59 I want to hear what this sounds like yeah I'm not I don't keep in touch with him anymore so I gotta try it I got like 95 of my farts are silent really yeah but are they violent yeah yeah I'm always I'm always spreading them yeah I do that I do that that is insurance though if you don't want it to sound spread it you just have to like shift over yeah and then it'll go I do that when my wife is sleeping and I'm peeing in the morning sometimes I'm like I gotta fart so I spread the cheeks spread the Geeks yeah yeah I want to be loud yeah you don't want to you don't want to cause a scene yeah make her throw up in the middle of her just go like this like let's open it up a little bit yep yeah I go in the mirror and I look back at it you don't even need your hands right you already got the right you got the friction of the section of the seat that's what I'm standing up bro sometimes I'm at the gym
7:50 and I have my music playing in my headphones and I don't realize that other people who can hear loud so if I'm like on the treadmill I know my card is loud but I know No One's Gonna Hear except the music cuts off at that opportune time yeah but when the music's in your headphones you think everyone else is like hearing what you hear so yeah that's true and I'm like oh they probably heard it how do you guys feel about people burping in public I don't like that I don't care but and um but my girl um she you know she's the one that was like oh that was a burp and I was like oh it it's a it's a you know it bothers you you know so it's a sort of it's like a it's like an interesting thing like because now you're self-conscious I'm like oh I don't know you're like you could burp around me but I guess I don't like what it smells bro yeah when it
8:41 smells it's like all right what are we doing if it's just a sound yeah if it's if it's a burp and it's funny and it's loud that's cool but sometimes people will burp and then you smell it you're like all right I think it's rude in a restaurant I wouldn't do that yeah I guess it's a setting but sometimes you know you know sometimes it just happens yeah with the boys it's a good time my burps come out like I sound like I'm forcing it I don't even know how to do one that's one so like it just comes yeah sometimes it just happens you're like oh excuse me yeah but it's not like one of those really loud oh yeah no no no no like you know when you're forcing it out and you're like no yeah like Homer Simpson do you remember um how Lizzy Rasputin could burp like a like a huge gigantic belt yeah I do remember that yeah you know sometimes like some people know how to burp like just massively on command yeah and she was like a you know like a pretty little
9:31 blonde girl and you would never expect it and then her you mean like this and then one time like so we know she could do that for like years it's like one of her like party trick things and then uh once Victor was dating her he was like I hate that she does that and you like I think she stopped because of him [Laughter] she just did it because it was funny you could picture that right everybody loved that she did it we thought it was the greatest it's a fun party trick but then like once it's your man and like probably the you know it's not funny yeah but you know if you're getting mad at your girl for doing that you're kind of lame that's true it's like What's your deal bro it's a fun time it gets laughs it's like what's the look if it smells like ████ then it's like all right that's a problem like okay that's you should see a doctor but if it's no smell
10:22 and it just like she could because some people you see them like suck air into their belly I think that's how she does it you suck air in and you belch that's a good point you guys the command nope I was like another one do you like gold first oh he could do it we wanted to I just don't know how there's there's definitely a moment where it's like uh a pocket of air just goes in and then it just sits here for a second then just comes back up can't do it how do you go look at Nick trying though yeah I'm trying dude that's a dick sucking yeah can you do that one more time yeah yeah like that uh but yeah when I'm now that I'm around it and someone that can actually do it it's actually way cooler and it's Lamer that he was mad about it's even doubled it's cool when you can do it right yeah it's a it is a talent
11:12 you know yeah when you no she needs to stay a pretty little white girl nah dude like if you're farting around town that's weird you know like if you could fart up a man like I just farting on command is way weirder yeah it's a little weird where's that coming from yeah yeah you're sucking up the air first that's talented but is that funny that's funny with your ████ first yeah but if you're a girl like imagine you were dating a girl and then she like her like special party trick because she could fart on command then I can see how people would be like all right dude like can we not do that can you stop doing that please more like or like queef on command when [Laughter] I would just question her her practice like how did she get there yeah how'd
12:04 you get there yeah all right guys comment below if you could queef on command yeah comment below what bodily thing you can do on command and why your your boyfriend hates you boy that's engagement baby [Music] foreign
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