0:00 Hey, we got a awesome question here from A Marie 3018. Out of all the careful boys, who do you think your mother would pick as the closest to an ideal son? >> Thank you Patreon people. >> It's not Patreon. >> Thank you Discord people. >> No, it's YouTube. >> YouTube people. Thank you Discord YouTube people. Appreciate. But thank you guys anyways. >> [laughter] >> You only had 20 minutes between episodes to get things settled. >> I would say Ryan for sure. >> Me? No way. >> For your mom. For your mom. You're thoughtful. >> That's not going to save that community center or the house. >> I'm thoughtful towards my mother. My mother knows that I you know >> Oh, the I see the flavored meats. A specific um >> Because we're basically like we're ruling one of us out as the son, right? And picking like our replacement in a way. >> Yeah, like which one would your mom like
0:50 the most? >> Yeah, I think it'd be Ryan for sure. >> Yeah, okay. Cuz I think my mom would actually like Anthony the most. >> That makes sense. He's a hot piece of ass. >> I think my mom would like Bart the most. >> Huh? >> I also might say my mom might like Bart the most. >> What? >> Yeah, Bart for sure. >> An emotionless person? >> Yeah, they that doesn't even ████ matter, dude. It's It's the checks of what you've accomplished. My My mom never wanted emotions out of me. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Agreed. >> Hell no. She'd rather have accolades and and freaking a veteran son in a >> You know, so what about people that do things the right way? So the reason why I would I think my mom would pick Anthony like um I think my mom cuz I think Anthony knows about the real world and knows how to do things properly. Okay. So for example, if he has like uh his homie's about to get married, he'll
1:40 plan the bachelor party. If a birthday, he'll plan it. Mother's Day, there's Mother's Day's things. Like he does things the way that I think are supposed to and I've never done anything supposed to. So I think in her mind, I'm just ████ up and she's like, "Why can't you ever do things supposed to?" And I think Anthony knows how to do all that stuff. >> Okay. Okay. Would Would Anthony be able to comply well with the way that your mom believes in in different like spiritual things? >> And I think he would because I think Anthony is does a good job of being able to put on different hats. So, he'll be like, "I wouldn't tolerate this from this person, but because I'm my son hat right now, that I'll entertain my mom's ████ crazy s███." >> Yeah, fair enough. >> He also knows which massage parlors jerk you off. >> I think Anthony would be my mom's choice. >> [laughter and gasps]
2:30 >> He's all trying to answer for real. >> Keep going, Joe, in the middle of your [laughter] ████ >> I just registered what Steve said after I said it. >> Yeah, you're good, man. It was just too nice. >> But I was giving a sincere >> You're supposed to do fatalities after their health is gone. >> You're right. You're right. >> It's very sincere of what I really do think my mom would pick Anthony. >> See, this is how the Anthony ████ starts, right? Like, I was going to ask actually answer, but this is much more of a funner ████ option. >> Fair. >> So, instead of saying what I was going to say, now I just want to ████ start [laughter] I just want to go. >> Say both, then. Say both. >> Lay it on me. >> Did you guys see those ladies get popped recently in like Florida? They got popped in a massage parlor cuz they actually doing rub and tugs and ████ And I immediately was like, "Dang, dude." Well, no, I was like, "Isn't that like all of these places? Like, don't all of these places kind of have that like a hell of places have that."
3:21 >> They only get popped when they don't pay the tax. >> Oh, that's where it is. Okay. >> The cop tax? >> Yep. All right, Joe, take it away. >> Well, [laughter] ████ man. Now I want TO TALK ABOUT ANTHONY BEING A >> WELL, THINK ABOUT THE GUY THAT SUBMITTED, RIGHT? Whatever his name is. >> It's It's a girl. >> He wants to be just a guy. >> the commenter cuz we want to serve the commenter. What does he What does he want? >> Yes, Steve. Serve the commenter. >> I think he's pretty happy right now. >> It's a she. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. WHAT THE ████ IS A PATREON? IT'S NOT EVEN IT'S A YOUTUBE COMMENTER. >> LISTEN, can I not thank the Patreon people? No. Not not for this video. My mama will choose Anthony. >> Oh, wow. >> she likes a guy that goes and ████ around. I'm just kidding. No, okay. So, she I think it's the same thing what Bart was saying is that I think Anthony's very considerate. Like he's one of the most
4:11 considerate people that tries to like like think about all sides where like I don't give a ████ And my brother's even worse. >> Oh, okay. >> It's like it's kind of like Dude, like you you just have this sensitive woman with two cold ████ dudes that just like I don't give Shut the ████ up. That's what you want in life? I don't know. Like but you know I think it's like you try to see both sides. And I'll be like, "Man, you pissed me off. I'm not talking to you for 3 months." >> Well, he does things the right way. So, for example, I never even proposed to Geo, right? Like I don't even do things that are like right. But he does things the right way and I think that's what my mom would like about him. >> Oh, you know what I forgot to mention though? I because you said your mom would like Bart too, right? So, do you think your mom would be able to make it past his childhood era? Cuz I don't think my mom would. >> No. No, no, no.
5:01 >> [laughter] >> Well, we're talking about like a Bart right now. >> Yeah, yeah. Bart now, Bart how you turned out. >> Bart Dennis the Menace. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bart how you turned out, my mom was like that's the perfect son. >> And chucked out of Cerritos schools and ████ >> But I don't think she could have lasted. >> If we're going like like from born like she had to deal with this whole yeah. >> ████ I'm going to have to go with Steve. >> Fair. >> You know what my mom said? She said she had ████ So, she would >> Or Nick. >> She's working at her company and every time her phone rang it'd be PTSD. Like it was the principal or something. So, she'd like So, it'd ring cuz it never rings like just I don't know reason. It'll be like and she'll be like >> [sighs] >> And then it's like, "Oh, okay. Thank god, it's my boss. He wants something and it's not the elementary school." >> Yeah, dude. That's Yeah, I think I'll reluctantly go with Steve then actually. Even over even over Nick. >> Because it's Oh, Nick's I didn't even know Nick was part the options. >> Nick is like 100% but then the second my mom has to be like, "Oh, but my son's
5:52 like starting to fight and lose every fight." >> my mom would be able to She wouldn't be able to last through that either. But, my mom would love the whole virgin till marriage. >> Yeah. >> Nick? >> First girlfriend, first wife, last like that's crazy. >> My mom would love that, too. >> Yeah. >> Nick has an unfair advantage because I think all of the moms would pick Nick. >> Not my mom. >> Not the fighting part. >> Yeah, the fighting part with That's what I'm saying. I can't do with that. >> about that. >> of a far here. My mom would be like, "This guy's a troublemaker and s███." >> And my mom would be like, "Personal trainer, so you sell PE? ████ that." >> Uh but my mom would would like Bart. >> That's her business. >> Cuz they always wanted me to be in the military and I didn't, so you actually fit all the things they like. >> Wait, they're SDA? They wanted you to be military? >> Yeah, cuz they thought it would They thought it would like straighten me out. >> But, you got to grow with like the child Bart. >> I know, that's why I don't think they would be able to make My mom wouldn't be
6:42 able to last. >> All I know is Joe's for sure last. >> Nope. >> No mom would want me. [laughter] Not even my own. >> I think Bart's EQ is too ████ for my mom. >> I think so, too. >> Yeah, like my mom really likes that I can I can understand where she's coming from cuz she cried a lot when I was a kid and and I would I would I know that crying isn't weakness because of my mother because my mother's one of the strongest ████ ever. And so, I don't think Bart would think that. Does that make sense? Like I think Like a robot would be like crying equals weakness. Crying equals pain and weakness. >> [laughter] >> Disposed. No. >> I could [snorts] also argue my mom might have created the this EQ. >> I completely think that. I really think that. >> But, it maybe turned out different. >> make it easy, it's just who we are now. And it's kind of like because like >> Who we are now, Bart, 100%. >> think I take it back. I think my mom
7:32 would prefer Ryan. >> Cuz he plays music and got good at it? >> I remind her of her ex-husband. >> [laughter] >> So, she could sing along to his keys? >> Yeah, cuz I think you guys would bond hella over piano. And then she would she would probably be so proud of your musical genius part because that's what she loves. >> Plus instead of like ████ up a garage, she would like clean it up and organize and decorate it. >> [laughter] >> Right? Cuz then for me I think that's the thing is she always wanted like me and my brother to be like prodigies. And then like we went through far of tagging. >> Did not happen. >> Far from that. Did not happen. Right? And then so she is the ideal like oh ████ he's playing piano really he's touring in a band, he's doing music. I think I think >> Oh, so she would get to feel connected and like oh that my genetics are there. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Sorry Anthony, he took it. >> It's okay. If Ryan was around, your dad would stick around.
8:22 >> [laughter] >> Let's let's flip this a little bit. So what about which of the careful boys would you pick if you were being petty and you wanted your mom to miss you? >> Oh, to have a bad time. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Current like current like right now or like when they're kids because I mean Bart. >> Like right now like right now. Like like like like you want your mom to miss you so you're like I'm going to pick this careful. >> Like why the ████ is this guy here? >> If you don't want your mom to miss you. >> [laughter] >> Hey, that's a good game for you then, man. >> Game for you for sure. >> So [snorts] Bart >> Oh, then it'd be Anthony. Yeah, cuz she would love him so much. She's like ████ Bart. I'm like yes. >> Oh, that's good. >> Yes, thank god. Anthony's your new son. He's going to take care of you. He's nice and sweet to you. >> I don't know how Anthony would do with my mom cuz my mom didn't really like having different girlfriends and ████ She didn't like me always having different girl coming home. >> That was a diss. That was a hit. You shot him. You got him.
9:12 >> No, but she didn't like that in me. Imagine ████ Anthony. I barely >> Yeah. >> There's like 67673000. >> He said right now. Like the right now. >> Oh, right now. No, okay. Okay. Not the sexinator. >> Not the 30 years leading up to right now. Not the 39 years of Damn it, dude. I got nothing but ████ torpedo strikes all over me. >> That's a compliment. >> Pimp. >> [laughter] >> Right now to miss me? she probably won't even understand Joe. >> [laughter] >> I KNOW. >> SHE MY MOM PROBABLY WOULD BE LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING." >> ████ love me. You guys have no idea. >> She'd be like, "I don't know what you're saying, sir." >> What do you What do you do to make the moms love you? >> Every ████ mom that I've came in contact with, they all like, "When is that Joe boy coming over again?" They ████ love me, bro, because I know how to have a good conversation with people.
10:02 That's why. >> [laughter] >> I think that the throwing furniture stuff would be tough for my mother to deal with. >> I don't do it in other people's homes. >> know how to do the the Do you know how to do the right things? Like for Mother's Day, do you buy flowers for your mom and their mom? >> No, but I know how to make moms feel like, "I wish I was younger so he could be my husband." >> Woo, you do that to my mom if you WERE HER SON. >> [laughter] >> NO, [laughter] I >> WHEN I GET REPLACED BY JOE, Joe starts hitting on >> You know what's cool, though? >> I think they'd not miss you. >> Just you being Seventh-day Adventist would choose pick you anyway. >> [laughter] >> And we probably have mutual people we could talk about. >> go to church together. Yeah, that's true. >> And I'll be a good Christian boy. >> Is she still Seventh-day Adventist? >> My family is, yeah. >> Are they really? >> Mhm.
10:52 >> Was there anything about your wedding that was offensive to them? >> Probably all of it. No, because they they just know Dietrick's, too. So, they know that everything he says is like sarcastic. Their sense of humor trumps their religious >> Did your mom like shake her head when you took a shot with the boys? >> [laughter] >> no, but then my my aunt was just like, "Don't become an alcoholic." >> [laughter] >> That's cute. >> That helps. >> Yeah. >> I think the Filipino side overrides the SDA type of conservative. >> it's not offensive. If it's not funny, it's offensive, yeah. >> That's dope. >> I'd say Anthony for me to make my mom miss me, yeah. >> [laughter] >> What would Anthony do that would make your mom miss you so much? >> Just all of it. >> What, he'd would be what, like he'd be >> He's not No, I'm just jealous of Anthony. >> He wouldn't answer the phone? >> I don't I got nothing. I would say Bart for sure. I would say Bart for sure because Bart is so cold.
11:42 >> [laughter] >> And unavailable, emotionally unavailable. >> And And he doesn't want to talk to his mom ever. >> Well, your mom's more like needy, right? She calls you every day and ████ >> She calls me a lot, yeah. >> Yeah, that's yeah. >> Not every day, but yeah. She calls me a lot. >> But doesn't she like Do you say like if you don't pick up, she thinks something's wrong or you or you or you're mad at her? >> Yes, she always thinks I'm mad at her. >> Basically, not going to work for you. >> [laughter] >> I think my mom would have been annoyed of you then. >> You think? >> She's like, "He wants to talk too much." >> Oh, okay. >> I don't, though. >> Where's my absent son that won't talk to me? >> I don't want to talk. >> feel like in those instances, especially when it comes to like mothers, I feel like Bart is extremely emotional. >> You think? >> You know what I told my mom? So, you know my mom >> triggered he just got right now. >> No, you know my mom she twisted her leg, right? >> Yeah. >> And she's like, "Oh, ████ I can't walk." Whatever ████ I got double sciatic or some ████ And then I was telling her I was like, "Tests are meant
12:32 to be hard." Cuz [snorts] she was getting all sad at night. I was like, "Sometimes I just lay here at night I just feel sorry for myself." And I'm like, >> Oh, jeez. >> "Get strong, woman. Tests are supposed to be hard." >> just giving her back what she gave you. >> Yeah. >> not It's like >> what you just did? You just accused Bart of running for mayor and he got super pissed. >> Oh, did that just happen? >> [laughter] >> Oh, yeah. >> I'm like, yeah. I'm like I'm like, "Dude, no. I think Bart loves his mom." >> WHAT THE ████ THE ████ YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST TOLD THAT ████ LAST NIGHT? THE ████ You called me a >> [laughter]
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