0:00 out of nowhere I remembered his dad ran up like a full-grown adult dad like same age as my dad he ran up and this Dad just grabbed me by the collar and he just started socking me in my face whoa yeah and he kept going why'd you hit him why'd you hit him and he just kept ████ me up in my face and then my dad ran over and my dad got in a fight with that guy oh ████ [Music] welcome back to another Splendid episode of the careful boys we have with us today we got Chris Sosa here today [Music] daily and then we have the rest of the usual boring ass people ████ you dude ████ you man I got a question today I wanted to know from you guys it's genuinely genuinely I would like to know when was the first time you got your ass
0:50 kicked like you got in a fight you got your ass does parents count no it doesn't count that ████ happens like in a fight in a real fight um mine is really Vivid uh mine was uh when I was I think okay I was in first grade and this is the part that kind of sucks I'm friends with this kid's older brother and this kid's little brother whooped my ass so I don't even remember his name this guy could have just been like some big ass ████ kindergartner or some ████ but I still live in like um like in one of those neighborhoods where it's like so if you're if you're familiar with like Cerritos or like Cyprus or whatever it'll be like here's the entrance to the neighborhood and I'll have like a name like the Mayflower or some ████ right and then and then you go in and the neighborhoods like ████
1:40 all these streets and stuff so like everyone in that neighborhood all hung up and I don't even remember what happened but I remember me and the kid's little brother his older brother was even there just me and him got into an argument and he kicked me in the mouth and my ████ lips just exploded in the in those I was just bleeding all over the place and I don't even know how to fight and I don't even know what fighting was I don't even know how to return violence or anything like that and he just ████ took all the YMCA karate skills and he just kept roundhousing me in the face over and over and over and over yeah like he was like Van Damme against Chung Lee ████ like like like one and then ████ looking at me and ████ because I'm so stunned I don't even moving and he's like two it just keeps turning around like this bro you didn't even have instincts to go I should move I was so shocked I was just like boom and I'm
2:31 like boom I'm like what the ████ but it was just over and over yeah and then I went home I ran home I was like crying because I couldn't even believe like of my friend what would hurt me like that and that was the first fight I ever wow dude that's not a fight oh that's like a you got your ice cream yeah you got jokes well yeah I mean that is the first time you got your ass kicked I just yeah I mean it's uh it's Nick's record you know oh yeah Jesus Christ but I was also 21. I wasn't 11. you know hey last time my instincts you guys made the same amount of revenue from your fights now shut up dude hold me back dude hold me back I had a uh uh a TKO fight uh that I lost but it was an amateur fight with this
3:22 kid why'd you look at me when he said he's actually well since you were like eight or something right you say what you've been boxing since you were like eight years yeah yeah yeah so it was one thing was like uh like 11 or 12 but this kid is a it's also my first time fighting like a true like Mexican fighter where they're all body shots all hooks I'm On Top I'm just you know saying maybe a hook every now and then but we're just going here you know and I've never felt a body punch before this is my first time like getting it like hit it oh my gosh like the air oh I didn't even know what that was how old are you I was like 10 11 like 10 11 12 in that area but um this was also like like I've won my fights up until this moment I'm chilling I remember my getting my hands wrapped and I'm like eating sour straws like just like kicking it like it's gonna we're gonna run this real quick you know yeah and I got hit yo and it and then uh I remember like sinking and the ref saw
4:13 it so it was enough to where he made it an eight count and I was I was so like scared I'm like I'm getting an eight count right now like what like it was a whole body shot body shot and I couldn't really breathe and I'm not and my dad's over here just like breathe breathing I'm just like what is happening yo and I remember whenever they said like you know box they let me keep going he's just kept going again boost the body and oh my gosh they called it yo I lost I lost off of a detail and that was and he's still a professional boxer actually he fought recently um on the undercard of um who there was a there was a big fight like two Saturdays ago but his name is uh um yes yeah oh wow he was the coach he was the code uh Main Event wow Miguel Flores yeah yeah and they were there was a draw that one was a draw but um that's my guy he's from he's from Houston uh uh and and I always I always like give him ████
5:04 for that one because I'm just like ████ like he had he got me when he was eight years old dude no stop fights like kid fights earlier oh you say what they stopped the kid fights earlier like let's see like oh the kids hurt so like this just stop a little Knockouts yeah no like they get they need blood I didn't know I don't know like I got stopped to think it was uh I think it was a third round it was a second or third round but yeah he got me have you been in a fight before like or just like when you were young I've never been in the street fighter oh yeah yeah I've never been not outside wow you never got man ████ been waiting to unleash these ████ no man I've heard that from so many boxers yeah like even Brandon tussle but that was just like like get separated and so like that and even then that was in elementary this is gonna sound like ████ but I honestly have the same ████ story and I have the same I've never fought outside the ring but my first fight was inside a ring
5:54 boxing because my uncles owned this um you know fighting company called satellite boxing in Arlington Virginia and so my dad took me there because my dad was the general manager of it right so they were they were all working on it together and we actually had this guy he was a really good fighter named Keith Holmes he was like he was like really coming up at the time and he was like he was like winning all kinds of ████ so like I got to meet him and hang out with him and ████ it was really cool but um it was my cousin Frankie's birthday party and so we all went to satellite boxing and like they had like a ref and like they had all the kids like get weighed up and ████ and then uh we didn't actually weigh in they just were like hey who wants to like who's what weight and I didn't ████ know what weight I was have you been training I haven't been training or anything like that but I was around Keith a lot like because he would just come in all the
6:44 time and like hang out my uncles my dad and stuff and so I would I would um my uncle's all watch Boxing every ████ weekend with my dad right so I watched all that ████ and we watched Tyson a lot and so I remember getting in the ring and and they're basically like who wants who who weighs what and I ████ up I was just like I weigh that and then they put me against like the biggest ████ kid yeah and I ████ up with that for sure and then they you know we have the we have the pads on ████ and then I have the um the boxing gloves and same as you my first time getting punched was like to the gut and I was like like lost my breath immediately and then it's just survival after that like oh ████ like I actually but I was mad at him after that and so I'm like punching but I don't ████ know how to punch or anything like that I'm like eight years old and it was just that it was just pure like
7:34 I'm gonna get you into until I hope oh man I hope they ████ call it already please call it already yeah and that was it that was my first fight and that was my only real fight holy ████ yeah yeah I've always just been good about calling it reading the reading the situation that I can like I'll just get out of it you know I don't look for it I don't try to you know I mean that's not my style I know that I can defend myself but at the same time that somebody is like trying to get Rowdy they trying to come I just I'm out you know what I mean see I have the same skills you I've never been in a fight outside of anything I can also reach it but the difference is I can't defend myself um now you can't have to read it maybe I can but you could move yourself out of the way to try putting the fish like well you guys never it's called instincts you guys never just gonna jump like I've never been jumped by Bullet I
8:24 thought that was normal we're like you're just like eating lunch or something and then someone comes up and just punches you in the face of your stomach or whatever or like and then you get them back or whatever that never happened I've also only been in like push scuffles yeah push scuffles maybe was about to escalate but then like either de-escalated or some ████ what about like in like the like schools where like two people walk by they bump shoulders right and then when they bump shoulders and turn around all of a sudden both sides of the hallway is staring and you have to throw it down but you already know bar every time I bought the truck they turn around what's on out of here we walked out of it the um one of my earliest memories was when I was four and that's the first
9:14 time I got like beat up and it was the weirdest situation and I I think my dad was there and he'd probably be so surprised I even remember this but um there was a store called fedco it was over in Cerritos yeah it was kind of like it was that South and Gridley actually was that something Gridley and then not a lot of people remember that across from there there was a fedco furniture store as well and um the furniture store was it was basically the same store but it was all like couches and ████ and it turned into Ethan Allen yeah a lot of uh tragedies have gone down on that property it's a dangerous Street man it's harder me and my sister were in there and we were like playing like on the you know when you're a kid you play on the beds and ████ and then we were just like jumping around and this other kid came up and he was smaller than me and he kept trying to get on the bed but I kept pushing him
10:05 down and then out of nowhere I remembered his dad ran up like a full-grown adult dad like same age as my dad he ran up and this Dad just grabbed me by the collar and he just started socking me in my face whoa what yeah and he kept going why'd you hit him why'd you hit him and he just kept ████ me up in my face and then my dad ran over and my dad got in a fight with that guy oh ████ yeah and it was like this weird-ass situation and then I remember I didn't understand anything about it and I was like what I remember asking my dad like was that like the bad guy oh because I couldn't tell like how old were you four years old like a bad guy from the movie I just remember I wasn't in school yet yeah I wasn't in I wasn't in kindergarten yet so I remember I was four getting socked by a man he looked like Charles Bronson you know like one of those guys yeah and then and
10:55 then I remember the conversation after him and my dad stopped fighting my dad was like my dad was like what what were you thinking like he was asking the guy and the guy was like oh I was just trying to stop him I was trying what that's I just remember those words exactly the guy was saying they was trying to stop me but I distinctly remember like being held like did that mess you up as a kid it didn't because about it now like as an adult too early did you because I didn't cry with a big hero like he fought you know what it's it's so early that it didn't even it computed it a bunch of times before his dad came yeah yeah he was just days still he had the ████ birds and ████ and the Stars it was just like weird like un uh understandable data in my brain I was just like okay this happened the dad punched me and like I'd never been punched but then I realized that like I all I remember thinking was like where the good guys right and that's the
11:46 bad guy yeah I just remember like asking my dad that and then it was it was really awkward jeez I have a funny story and uh in fourth grade because it was like so ironic so I was at this like after school like um my tutoring place it's kind of like a daycare but you like work on homework and ████ and then I'm waiting for my mom to get picked up there's a kid that was like sitting on a chair because they have a movie that they rolled out so all the kids just watching movies while the parents come the kid left and then so I go sit down and then uh the kid comes back like 30 minutes later and he goes hey that was like my seat and I'm like oh you left you know that was just like the rollback that if you leave then it's open for whatever right so I sit there so I guess that kid gets all ████ pissed or whatever later on I found out my mom uh car is outside so I go uh to the back to get my backpack and when I'm getting my backpack like this
12:36 I just feel a leg come up and ████ hit me in my ████ balls I don't know what happened maybe I was like my balls were too high or some ████ at that time um no they were kicked in you but it didn't even affect me I turn around and I'm like what the ████ it's that kid's older sister so my in my uh wait the same one from your last story it's a kicking family older sisters my immediate reaction is to kick her in the chest boom I'm a ████ kicker in the chest and then this is like you know like the martial arts warm-ups it's like you kick right and you kick and you kick so I just walked her ass ████ down I'm ████ like five times faster back to
13:27 back to back let's do a right boob left boo right there she falls down she ████ she's like all crying and ████ the teacher is like here's the commotion what the hell is going on and then like oh she's beating up my sister and I was like Bart go sit over there and then so it's just waiting she sits me down I'm on the stairs like at the bottom stair like this and then um she pulls my mom in and wants to like tell my mom what happens that girl's boyfriend finds out that I kicked her so he comes out you kicked her more than once he comes up to me and he goes what the ████ so he tries to kick me in the nuts but since I'm sitting on the stairs he kicks the ████ stairs he goes I'm just like what the is this like a ████ nut kicking movie everyone yeah dude how could you never told this
14:18 story I wonder if he would have kicked you in the face he would have been like what and they kept kicking you again your weakness chill that is so to be like doing this marching band kick against a girl earliest memories of a of a hard ████ beat down was uh there's these two neighbor Brothers in the cul-de-sac with me uh Marcos and Frankie right we're like maybe first grade or some ████ like that the older brother was my friend for some reason he wasn't there and I was playing with Frankie and we were inside uh the living room we were playing ninja turtles we're fighting over one of them like Leonardo or whatever and then so we get into like a ████ pool fight all that ████ and then like he grabs uh the Ninja Turtle ████ van slabs it over
15:11 me ████ starts kicking me right yeah I'm getting ████ up I'm going on and like and I'm like crying and ████ and I'm so ████ sad and then like his mom's like what the ████ and then afterwards like I can't take it anymore so I turn over and I started ████ back fisting his head like that and then his mom just tells Marcos right so then he's my friend and I thought like everything was chill because like this it's chill now right so I'm on my bicycle I'm like going up and down the street and then he's like Hey Joe and I'm like hey and then he comes up to me and I think he's just gonna talk to me and he just starts ████ wailing on me I fall off of my bicycle and he's just kicking the ████ out of me and the way he fought me versus his little brother it was like a real ████ beat down and I'm just like we're supposed to be friends and I didn't get like hey that
16:02 ████ was between me and your little brother why are you doing this to me now and then I'm like we're supposed to be friends and then after that I just went home like on my bicycle and I was like crying and ████ and I'm like I don't think we're friends anymore foreign did you see the Turtle van after that and kind of think of it differently I wanted a turtle van so bad dude until this became one of that turtle man yeah it just came out of nowhere just started banging on you with it I I forgot like how we started to like fight but I remember at the end I was on the ground and he ████ threw the Turtle van on top of me and I was like crying like no and then like when we were sat down and ████ and I was like I couldn't take it anymore because I felt like such a ████ I turned around I just started
16:53 ████ back lifting his head like that was it a metaphor for how you guys were fighting over Ninja Turtles that you got beat up with the Turtle fan I think it was just poetic I think I told the story before on here but I I recall me getting my aspie now um it was uh it was say that story again I'm gonna go over there and whoop your ass bro I'm just kidding I Just Met You Chris I'm sorry I'll jump in on it low level jokes you were his only hope man I know dude you can't be doing that you're already one of the ████ levels on Game of Death for me dog ████ you're right all right you don't have chocolate yeah this is great give this guy a raise I'm trying to get a job here you can always work at FedEx
17:45 all right so I remember being on uh in elementary school when I was on the field and uh I had just I told this story it's so dumb um I had just learned the uh the f word the uh that rhymes with maggot oh oh ████ yeah I just learned it you know when you just learned something you just want to use it you don't know what it means and yeah yeah I learned the sound I didn't learn the meaning some people might say it's a great word some people might say it the way you heard it the intonation as well it's a solid combination of letters in terms of combination there was also this time frame where there was this rule going around this epidemic right where uh when the bell rings you freeze you can't move otherwise you get written up with a citation with them safeties that have like orange vests and ████ right on the playground after Reese's when the bell rings you have to ████ freeze you drop your ball and ████ like that you can't pick it up you know what
18:35 I'm talking about she's like stop playing everybody has to ████ freeze right well so uh right before the end of recess I looked this one kid who like did something or said something I call him a stupid f word right yeah and the bell rang so I thought it was safe yeah so you said it at Mid yeah so I said it right before the building I was like haha you can't get to me right but then he started walking towards me because he's like would you say that and I was looking at him I was in my mind I was like you're supposed to freeze all right you're still frozen you're like wait belt wrong bell wrong and I stayed you know I'm a man of Honor so I stayed Frozen the whole time yeah yeah and he walked over and he literally took me and he threw me on the floor oh my God and so I was a sucker Frozen still crying and that's when I learned
19:26 that you can't just call people that who would have known you didn't know it was an insult no you thought it was a cool word you just hear ████ as a kid I used to say the N word all the time because when you know my friends I was like what first second grade I learned it then all my you know half of my classmates were black I thought it meant friend because that's because everyone uses it he uses it they use like and kids learn words through context not by the dictionary right so then like one day um they used to sing this song this was like a nursery rhyme for or like like a bad nursery rhyme where it was like oh have you heard of this a fight a fight a black and a white the end had a gun so the white had to run nine that was we used to say the nursery rhyme wow do you say this so sweet so it was no it was they we had the easily Crazy Ones at our
20:17 elementary school and and then there used to be another one that was like um there's more your mama something she hit the pole and then her titty rolled it was like it was like some ████ like I don't know it was like that one sounds cool it was funny the Spanish ones but anyways I was singing that song with my friends right we were waiting in line to buy snacks from the snack lady and then so um we were like I was the only Asian kid but I was singing it and and then the the lunch lady was like Joseph go back to the end of the line and I was like oh ████ what did I do and I was always getting in trouble at this time so I was like I don't know what I did man and then so when I got back to the front skating your own crime and you're like you know you're like they're like you're in big trouble and I'm like what I just
21:09 want to buy snacks you know and then like they were trying to explain to me the significance of the word and all that and I'm like I don't ████ understand and the other thing is my black friends were singing it but they didn't say anything to them you know so I was just like why I don't understand what the ████ what did I do wrong here and then they still the kids still said that word to each other and ████ so I was just like all my n words say the N where I think it's such a hard word for kids to understand yeah actually like in third or four grow up around it yeah so much ████ history attached to it and you don't know like the real meaning because the way that it's used with your friends yes and then the way that they're they're talking about it so I'm just like this ████ and I don't even know what race really was at that age you know like you think everybody's kind
21:59 of like the same group right yeah so then like it was such a weird experience I remember saying and I remember I got beat up because I would use that word and then like and then like people would just like fight me and I still didn't know what it was and I'm like maybe I should stop using it that never came into my mind it's just I'm still using it like an idiot you know yeah I had a shorty I dated that uh through blows at me for sure and I had a it was one of those fetal positions you gotta just take it right you're a good man dude yeah you know saying it was one of those uh one of those situations classic domestic violence but I was in it the only street fight you've been in was when a girl was beating your ass off yeah she she was throwing blows and stuff and uh I was just we were dating so like I actually was like training her how to box and ████ so I remember like looking at her back foot like oh ████
22:52 I was like that's pretty good you know it's great technique yeah yeah yeah your hips yeah I was kind of giving her advice like I put the weight on your back foot I was making her want to beat your ass like that oh man it was a uh it was a drunk night it was actually it was actually a night where it was uh uh I was performing this night and it was one of those like she used to she would go to all of my shows and stuff she would support me and stuff but uh she was just got out of work she didn't really want to go to the show but she's like I'm gonna go we're already like bickering earlier that day so she was already upset so I just remembered like uh this was one of those shows it was in East L.A little hole in the wall uh a bar uh show we're still trying to I'm trying to like her she like she likes ludicrous so like trying to lighten up the mood on the way there jamming some old school Ludacris and just you know just like we're good everything's cool um she we're after the after my
23:44 performance it was cool and she's like she saw on the menu like there's like chalkboard like how the the drinks and so she's they saw adios ████ and I don't know if y'all heard of adios but yeah but it has for those who don't know it has four different vodkas in it a lot of ████ it is very well designed yeah she got an adios ████ and uh audios that ████ went because after that yo I just I just I remember before buying it I would go like yo we ain't gonna We're not gonna like trip tonight right we're not gonna get back this is like kind of like a pattern don't worry about it this is kind of a pattern yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah I just I just remember like man oh my God after after the uh after the show I was talking to the producer she was ready to go but I was like talking about more shows and stuff like that and uh she was waiting for me outside that was her thing she was pissed that I had two gloves on she was waiting outside yeah
24:34 yo she was like punching bricks and ████ came outside and she was just like why the ████ did you not come for me and give me outside I talked about the shoes like in my face and I was like I was like in the car it's all good you know what I'm saying and I hope she was fine bro oh bro I mean she was like you know she was a cutie you're dealing with this for a reason yeah yeah but man when we got home yo this was already like we've already talked about like yo we're gonna de-este like if this is a situation de-escalate it I'm gonna sleep in the other type we had a two bedroom uh and so I slept in the other room she did not like that ████ she was like coming like jiggling the door or ████ I remember yo there's like a uh there was a she she like providing horror I remember her walking away and I'm kind of just like all right she's gonna like go to sleep but I'm here in the kitchen like opening the drawer and like jiggling and like getting the night so she she had a she
25:24 had got a knife this I know she was hella drunk too because she tried to like like oh my god oh open the door like through the oh ████ Jimmy the ████ yeah yeah yeah and we had those old school doors like a butter knife you could just go like that you don't say like that's why I know she was just out of it bro like she was I was just like hey yo put the knife up you know what I'm saying I opened the door if you if I hear the we have wood floors I was like Drop The Knife and then I'll open the door just so I can like I'm about to get the ████ out of here you know what I'm saying and I open the door she's all on my face and ████ I'm just like yo I'm a dip I'm gonna go to my cousin's crib you know shaking house oh my ████ it's like a nightmare this is one of those situations yeah yeah so I was getting you know getting my things and stuff like that getting ready to get out of there but uh yeah she was blocking the door blocking it out the way and then I was just I was just trying to get out of there she that's when she finally like blacked out she knew I was gonna leave she pushed me and then I like kind of like stumbled like onto the bed and she
26:14 started like going off and I'm just I'm just you know eating them up and then that's when like I looked like when she was done I looked at her she knew she ████ up too all right I'm out of here you know what I'm saying and I remember she was oh my gosh she was so like I have my little Chihuahua I looked a little doggy and I'm like you guys are shivering and ████ I was getting my things but I also I also went and got my dog too because I'm dipping but I got my dog because I was like I don't know how mad that she is yeah she was so she was like marketing oh you're gonna get your dog you get your dog like you're me oh dude I remember getting in my car I drove like I didn't even like At first I didn't even go to anywhere yet I just drove like a couple blocks down and it was just in my car like what the ████ just happened I was like oh crazy you're punching your head he said what she's
27:05 punching your head she was just wailing she was just like yeah just kind of like yeah just mad just like everything just yeah yeah don't create bits of your loved ones yeah like this what happens yeah that's it was a it was a whole thing yeah he did a whole stand-up bit about how she can't decide what to eat yeah [Music] foreign [Music]
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