0:00 that's the hustle culture too you gotta wake up and be like okay gotta grind out my bullying today let me try to acquire the basketball cards I knew he needed and I would just Bogart that much to be like I'm not trading this one out now I'm sorry [Music] welcome back to another spectacular episode be careful boys today we have Colleen Joe Bart Nick Steve Green hey [Applause] okay what's the time that you guys uh bullied somebody and you felt it was justified I never blew anybody not blue I didn't I didn't blow anybody I swear I never feel alive well if it's Justified is it bullying or is it just like well it's bullying until
0:51 someone realizes it's Justified so if is there a time that you bullied somebody and it appeared like it was bullied I did a lot of accidental bullying how does that work so there was intentional bullying so okay I'll tell you in elementary school I was like this is like a very jail mentality but it was like I'm gonna get the biggest guy and I'm gonna ████ harass him bully him oh and then and if if I keep bullying big people like the biggest people that No One's Gonna bully me and it worked right but then I felt bad because I was like oh they're even though they're big like doesn't mean that they're aggressive they're like kind hardest yeah they're like big bears they're nice and I just like oh I was just bullying people for no reason because I was afraid to get bullied oh but I wasn't getting bullied so I used them
1:43 you're taking preventative measures yeah thinking that someone's gonna bully me but I was only getting bullied at church never at school what did you do to bully like what was the action we would just pick up you just run up to him and just start ████ with them like throw stuff at that you know like yeah you just pick fights with them I even had this I even have my other friend go behind their back so I could run up and push them and then when they fall there's my friend yeah and then he falls backwards so just like things like that and then uh so that was like fourth grade fifth grade and then like later on like I I don't uh like I don't Target people like that right but the bullying later I thought we were having fun together but it was just me having fun
2:34 and laughing so hard that I was like that's bullying that's not just joking like I didn't know that I was like picking on people because it's at their expense yeah like sometimes it's just fun to like do stuff and then you just crying and laughing because it's so funny and like you're just hazing and you're just like like like swing like we would grab the younger kids and eighth grade and and then hold them you like hammock swing them yeah they're almost hard as we could in this in the sand it's like throwing them into therapy we're just seeing their body like fly that way and it's just anyway people cry too like I didn't think that it was like pain cry yeah I just yeah but I know they were crying along without performative yeah because it hurt not yeah but then we made them come back so
3:24 then we do it again and we throw them in the sandbag yeah hey get over here that's pretty accidental I think when you make them come back yeah four or five times but that's a good example I didn't really register that they really didn't want that and they weren't my friends oh until later until I was like oh we were that's bullying like you think everyone's friends and you're ████ around because like I got bullied too but I didn't know that was bullying so like my brother would uh make up like let's say like a rubber band gun or something yeah and then like he needs a Target so he would make me run back and forth like a duck in the in the in the in the backyard so he could just hit me with it yeah like a duck so you're on your hands I have to go quack quack
4:15 quack quack quack you think you're in on a game no I hated it oh you hate it I ████ hate it it hurt but you're dedicated though well if you didn't if you refused to do it what would be the um I'm scared but but then I don't know like when you're a kid I don't think you have empathy and you don't connect that that's yeah but then when you're on the giving end it's so funny and you're just dying and you can't control it and you said in here bro like a decade older than you yeah he's like 12 years older that reminds me of recreating like we were watching WWF and ████ and we were recreating wrestling moves in the basement but then I was the biggest one so I was the one like I was the one doing the moves yeah the Big Show and they were the dummy basically yeah so then like but don't you feel alive though 100 it's so funny I jacked knife
5:05 my friend Stanley Wong through his ████ closet door and snatched it in half you lifted him up and then yeah dude I ████ jackknifed him right through the all the way through the closet door and I watched it snap in half and I was like oh ████ and then I heard his mom I heard his mom like ████ yelling in Cantonese upstairs and then I was just like I gotta ████ go that was definitely like Justified though because we're just recreating wrestling moves and he thought it was sick yeah like he was like he was but that's not really bullying is it yeah he just it was an accident yeah yeah I did that to one of my friends I I hit him with the rock bottom but we did it on a bench like like a bench at school like in the locker room and he was like and he was I love this dude his name is John Jung he was like this little Korean dude and I was in middle school and then he he was like he was really little and I
5:55 think up until like the seventh grade he would ride in a car seat because that's how little he was and I was little too but I was able to lift him he was and that's why yeah we were doing 50 pounds even riding car seats is a tough move to take yeah dude and on a bench did he sell it he sold it but he was like he was like really hurt yeah he was like he was like oh ████ like he was really ████ up but we were friends after that well that's good at least you guys are friends out there we were hanging out I feel like there's a I don't know if it's different now but I feel like bullying at least when I was a kid happened because it was like you had like a mini Society of Friends right and if somebody was behaving in a way that was like kind of uh like hey someone's gonna kick your ass if you act like that so the
6:45 bullying was to like save somebody from making an ass of themselves in representation of the group because um yeah and I don't like oh yeah like calling out Cockiness yeah or like like don't have a rolly backpack you're not better than us exactly yeah okay because we bullied this one we bullied this one kid uh because I I we were all 12 years old and then we were gonna go to the Stonewood mall in Downey and uh it was like the coolest thing back then to just walk through the mall with your friends right this fool showed up there was like eight of us he showed up wearing a like he's a dark ass Filipino guy he's wearing a blue velvet vest like a dress vest for a suit with no shirt underneath why oh yeah and he's wearing like tights you mean like a tuxedo vest yeah tight jeans and then he has this like Walkman that has a speaker on it and he had it
7:35 on his hip and he was playing Macarena out loud why he didn't think it was weird he thought it was cool was that the first time he did it like at least like the first time well we didn't see each other outside of school very much so when when I saw his his choice of regular clothes we were like instantly oh we need to bully this floor this he's gonna look like this all the time you're doing him a favor though he got laid later because you guys like legitly yeah so he made him feel like total ████ we were like dude you look ████ terrible and then we were like we're not gonna walk around with you like this because also it's annoying like you have a a speaker playing mozzaretta I kind of like getting bullied I think I think it's helpful I think like I remember like as a kid we were so on our street we probably had like four or five friends that lived on
8:26 the same street yeah so it's easy for us to play and it was just like you wake up in the morning if you hear like a ball bouncing you just stick your head out and you can see who's playing basketball on the street and then so all the kids are are our age we hung out but then everyone has older brothers and stuff and then I remember if like we're playing and as one older brother comes home it's almost as if like the ████ Devil Himself came and we just ████ booked it we're like leaving this person's house we're doing whatever and then maybe if that guy's bored then he like like one of the things they love to do is when we're riding our bikes they would just come and like stick a ████ into the spokes and it would just fly off and I remember like to me almost felt like ████ is this the ████ Hells Angels coming to kill me but then later on you're like oh I kind of like made us tough and like yeah even though you felt like you get scratches and you're bleeding and at that moment
9:16 you feel like your life's gonna end but then that kind of rough house seeing it it like I don't know I feel like it made you tougher somehow I think so I remember getting attention from like or getting bullied from an older group it kind of felt like oh Big Brothers like it's it's just weird like because back then we would all play outside right like it would be like Sandlot where like a bunch of kids on bicycles and ████ and I remember um these other group of guys we always like kind of looked up to them they were like a little bit older we were in elementary they're in junior high and they're playing like football and stuff and then for us we would just like sit there on our bikes and just watch them and it was so-and-so's brother whatever and one day they said hey come over here so we're like oh us they're like you want to play and then we're like yeah they're like all right we're doing full
10:06 contact football we're on the ground big kids versus little kids US versus you guys and I was like yes and then like my friends were all like ████ and then I'm like well cause you're not you don't have to play duck right now like it sounds way better than getting shot at like saying quack quack quack yeah and then it's humiliating clearly they're just having a blast like they're not even playing football they just wanted to grab us and slam us on the grass like Blitz you're playing Blitz basically like unnecessary amounts of tackle and then they're all getting hurt and ████ and then you know it always ends when a kid cries yeah don't tell your parents don't tell your parents all right and then like they're like all right and then you know but I was like that's dumb let's do it again I don't get tackled but I'm a good
10:56 candidate for being bullied yeah but it just felt like like this like oh I'm getting attention from the cool guys yeah you know like they're they like me you know but they don't and but back then you you don't know that they're just using you for entertainment it also felt like some sort of rite of passage too yeah like um because then you would meet kids that their older brothers or sisters didn't bully them and you're like man you're weird see that's that's kind of what I always felt like when um like bullying almost was an antidote for total weirdness in a way which sucks the same unless if you didn't know why you were getting bullied so like girls are the worst at this like in school they're like whisper and you're still because it's psychological it's more psychological and then they'll like scatter and laugh and then you're just like they were talking to me
11:47 yesterday I was like yeah you have no clue so it's more people get ████ up yeah honestly honestly it sucks like so when you don't know why you're getting bullied I think it's way worse well that's a different level though girls have pain because of men and guys have pain because of men physical passwords but also at the same time so we used to play war all the time yeah and then so like my so my best friend his uh older brother um was like the main bully of the big kids so that would automatically be the home base of all the older kids and then since I'm having brothers and sisters like they just felt safe at my house so my house became like the home base for younger kids so anytime we're like we could be playing anything if the big kids coming we're playing War everyone just ████ runs away because the war starts immediately and then so we ████ start setting up ████ like what we think are booby traps and ████
12:37 because we look like they're supposed to come and I Remember by the time they catch us they always whoop our ass and stuff so the first time that I ever realized like oh ████ if you fight back um bullies actually aren't that crazy was these kids they toppled our booby traps because they're just made like ████ and this kid named Jordan climbed on top of the wall and just in a state of panic I was like oh ████ Jordan's coming I grabbed a brick they leave right and then I I hear Jordan it's like they got bricks let's get the ████ out of here Jordan crying and he couldn't breathe he was like I heard him get on his bike and then ride
13:27 back down to his house oh and then I was like oh ████ and then the parents came out and they're like oh what happened oh we're just playing and it's also you learned this code of like not ratting oh because they didn't go like oh Bart did it or whatever oh it just felt like like through these like little like little like chicken hierarchy pecking at each other you kind of learn the rules of the world and then so we're like okay we don't want to have this play thing get shattered and all parents come out and go no one's playing forever so it just kind of became this thing and then also our bowling also got reduced because of the brick you kind of learned all these little things you know yeah dude that kid had a broken rib and he goes to the hospital the doctor's like what happened he's like
14:17 ████ fell off my bike I'm saying ████ thing damn yeah we just learned different era dude so many little things I'm glad I got bullied dude straight up I really am I wouldn't have probably done anything I ever did in life if I wasn't a like bullied hardcore yeah like from from a formative age like I think it just gave me like surviving that or whatever you call that yeah it just gave me confidence like later on where I was like how do you teach someone to respond that way to it it's a touchy part well either you're productive with it or you're just gonna suffer because then there's people that we you'll meet some days and they'll just go oh that was the worst time of my life and they have no like positive and that's kind of sad you know right like how do you combat psychological bullying when you're outnumbered right like whatever you learned and I learned the same thing like I don't I can't pinpoint what that is that is hard to say because Taiko will say ████ like that sometimes like
15:07 he'll have the best day ever right we do everything he ever wanted we even go to ████ get ████ donut with Oreos on it like the best day ever and then there's like one thing like let's say we're supposed to play Uno tonight and we're supposed to play three rounds we only have time to play one azer put him to bed about this and then like after he comes to go oh yeah that was a really really good day because he couldn't do three rounds of Uno yeah yeah but like it's just when you're when you're such a kid it's like hyper fixated yeah hyper fix it on that moment you forget about everything yeah and then it made me think like but when we were kids like kids that got bullied and actually liked it we didn't have someone to talk us through it we have to kind of like teach ourselves those lessons and I wonder how yeah like how we did that also it depends on the the severity of bullying
15:58 like sometimes it gets so bad like The Hazing and all that like people die right like that's that level yeah that's not even so then that's crazy it does it does happen and all of our experiences are are are different but I feel like it's like some people can take different doses of something and and like I think like well it's hazing in in certain cultures too is just like common right like like I would say Frack culture or like um even in like Japanese and Korean Culture The Hazing is almost like this this like closeness like you go through like severe hazing and then you almost have to be a footstool to someone older than you you know it's crazy so there was a kid on our street too he was this Indian kid that wore glasses and everyone just knew he's off limits like
16:49 he's such a ████ little ████ he wasn't even didn't have the honor that is also not fun too it's not fun yeah uh that's there's also this theme where it's like I think because you see like when you were when you get bullied you're almost like oh I'm kind of worthy of this group yeah whereas if someone just goes oh that's like too easy of a Target they just left them alone right and then they become loners and then you kind of are envious yesterday but then he doesn't feel pain every day yeah he do yeah but then also like but I'm also kind of accepted in this really weird way you know versus the kid that was just like everyone's like he's a ████ like he's gonna whine a rap tattletail and all this yeah I think I learned I learned that specific thing in eighth grade I had this uh this friend of mine who's I went to school with him almost every year of my life until Community College from like fourth grade and he's one of my best friends now and uh basically I bullied him like I think it
17:39 was like in fifth grade to like sixth grade I didn't know I was bullying him but then I kind of knew I was I just didn't like him because he was fat and also like he was smarter than me so then I just didn't so I would do things that would kind of like be directed at him but passive aggressively I would be like hey guys I'm starting a VIP program if you want a slice a pizza uh you just gotta like join my program and I'll give you a pizza at lunch because I would get eight slices of pieces as my lunch all you gotta do is not be fat so give me like the whole box yeah get a whole Tony's Pizza in My Lunchbox so I'd give him I would eat that I would eat all that much so I would give it to my friends and I would be like he'd be like well how do I join the program like oh you gotta have this one comic book that I don't like only these guys have he's like oh go get it and then he like gets it I'm like I changed the rules of my brother oh my God I would always ask him like I would always tell them like drink I'll
18:29 get him in trouble a lot like during class I'd be like hey dude Richard Nixon impersonation you do it and I'd pull this chair out you ████ ████ like I ████ with him so hard for like and I thought it was just funny and then like in eighth grade we're like a little older and I was like hey bro remember like in sixth grade when I used to do this thing and he goes hey you know like you kind of ruined my life man he goes that wasn't fun for me man I really thought like my life was over and I was like what like right I wasn't thinking like that level at all yeah and he was like no like that that was the worst year because you just don't know how they're gonna take it well also Ryan's such a like prankster by Nature yeah it's in your blood baby I mean it was definitely malicious because yeah I didn't but bro if I was if I was in his shoes I would just laugh about it and then one day I'll bring pizza and not let you have
19:19 some like whatever right because I'm like having be target practice from my own brother so like the the severity of what I went through at home was like that's nothing but it's depending on the person but also when you're in sixth grade that is the worst thing that ever happened here like that sixth graders everybody followed my lead on how he treated him so then they all did yeah you know how like Anthony when we all joke about it and someone new comes and they go oh we're ripping on Anthony and then they do it and Anthony goes I don't like I don't even know if you yeah that's the thing it's like maybe if it was just me he'd be like oh Ryan's an idiot but then if everyone goes oh I want to also do that then it feels overwhelming and I learned I learned it that year that like oh ████ like I didn't take into account his whole life he's the only child he like didn't have any like friends in his neighborhood like he lived in ████ gangster ass Norwalk but I bet he's better for it and
20:10 he had to pay and he had to pay yeah and I wasn't gonna let him have a ████ Pizza okay no days off Sorry rules changed again sorry that's the hustle can you wake up and be like what I would literally try to I would let me try to acquire the basketball cards I knew he needed and I would just Bogart that much to be like I'm not trading this one out no I'm sorry I would do everything for like but that's what kids do at that age bro like they're all little ████ but it is true that like if I had done that to a different kid he could have laughed every single one of those things off but it just depends man yeah you just never know did you apologize I did yeah I apologize and for for the rest of our lives for the rest of our friendship I'm like hey sorry I was such a ████ dick yeah you know what I mean one of my closest friends growing up he um he has an accent because you know he
21:01 just came from Vietnam he so so it's like he was easy bullying Target right and he was a nerd and he was like he never fought back and in one day he just snapped and he beat this guy up and did like a bar slide all over there yeah he grabbed him and he ████ did it super bar slide into the arcade machine yeah on the table pretty tight and he told me that was the moment like his Bart's brick moment where he became Revenge hungry oh and from that that's his bill and origin story all the way until even recently he told me this story like a couple months ago where he had a road rage incident with a UPS driver and then the UPS driver wanted to like talk ████ because we got doors
21:51 the UPS driver was was like pull over my friend goes out and they have a fist fight oh my God and yeah and he goes oh and then the UPS driver knew like fight how to fight like he knew MMA so they're just throwing down he's like you're never getting a ████ package again dude I'll make sure of it but he said it was one of those it was one of those things where like they just shook hands and afterwards they're like damn you fight but but he's like he's just constantly fighting right ever since jeez he's punched he dude I remember we ate we were eating Pho at a restaurant one day and in the middle of it he's arguing with my buddy about I forgot what the argument was but in the middle of the argument he ████ lays them out across the table and he gets up and starts walking away and I was like what the ████ so then he's on the ground and I pick him up and I'm like chasing after
22:42 I'm like what are you doing he goes I'm so embarrassed I can't believe I did that I'm gonna walk home I don't think I should drive with you guys walk down on the bill yeah unbelievable [Laughter] but I feel like that's the Dark Side of like bullying right is like someone can snap you got the School shooters we got all these things where like they don't know how to handle it and then they become Revenge hungry because they've been feeling so small for so long like anybody looks at them weird they're like oh you're trying to bully me I'm gonna ████ you up you know yeah and I think that's the that's the really downside of where it can go or it could go to kids like just being isolated and then like yeah you know um so I I'm like how do you create a good healthy environment of challenging
23:35 social situations there are gonna be bullies there are going to be people that are ████ up and you can't really shelter them from the realities because no you can't they just end up weeks you're going to go into the real world and then now you're working at companies now you're like just walking going to 7-Eleven there's a ████ ████ like and now you're breaking down from anxiety yeah but once you learn to push back that's key yeah because dude that's the dance that's the dance yeah because I when Once because I was getting real bullied really bad I was part of this basketball team they're all ████ very quickly but then um one day I basically just shoved this guy up against the locker and I was like Hey ████ off and that was all I had to do and after that he didn't ████ with me anymore because they liked it I was a big dude who they could push around and I didn't do anything because my mom the guy I believe yeah because my mom would always say walk away be the bigger person and I'm like this sucks Mom I'm
24:26 like this plan sucks I'm gonna do something different and as soon as I did that it was over it was over and so but if you learn that right um now I take that with me through life right my HOA was ████ with me and then I just made I went to enough meetings and I got enough people to come to the HOA meeting and now those guys are being removed from like the little board and ████ so much don't ████ with me dude just go ████ with somebody else that's the lesson like you're gonna do something about it I will I'll take it to the ends of the Earth right and that that gets forged from constant testing right that's how you gain that I learned how to deal with those kinds of people yeah and yeah so push back yeah do something it's inspiring foreign
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