0:00 [Music] so apparently there was a big explosion in deep space somewhere that has now begun hurdling what they call the devil Comet which is three times the size of Mount Everest wow wordss our planet no how how come this isn't bigger news because technically cuz they're pretty confident they're not nothing's 100% but they're pretty confident it's not going to hit us but is hurling toward us to a point where it will create enough of a spectacle that you should be able to see it with the naked eye oh wow hear something romantic all right what is you named this Comet after Gio for like a million dollars I know I was reading somewhere what's the big planet closest to us is it Jupiter the Moon Yeah Jupiter so though because I thought Mars
0:50 was because Jupiter has so much gravity and as we're going through space the reason why we don't get hit by asteroids is because of like the gravitational pole whatever it creates kind of like the forest field around Earth nerd oh man I'll see what sidee it's it's our hero yeah it's saving us R's like I wish you didn't say that man for not again I read it off a Snapple cap wait what's the RO SLE cap hey what's the romance part of that I wasn't sure either it's protecting us Jupiter takes care of us that's going to protect us from this big Comet thing yeah you don't go to you don't go to Jupiter to be the stupid wait but what if like the comet's not going towards us and then Jupiter pulls it towards us oh that's not how it works pulls a little farther it would have never came here
1:41 that that was convincing how is it how's it going to happen it goes just just check it out drink a Snapple once in a while yeah it's not staying still we're moving that's true so it's moving and it's going like this yeah and it's like one in a million anyway could just be one in 10 million chances but people still win the lottery though last our last like backup is ████ shooting some sort of laser at before it get D we just nuke it bro same laser that burned Maui yeah yeah May I'll take dude yeah I'll take people were not talking about the spakes laser yo yeah so with an estimated diameter of 18.6 Miles which is huge as ████ it's like ████ the length of La it is three times the size of Mount Everest like I said earlier which is almost the same as La we're using Everest thanks
2:33 yeah well I never seen Mount Everest so I don't know how to Rose Meat I think yeah can you change it can you put that I think they need to make it la like oh yeah so in 45 minutes of traffic driving yeah in Los Angeles which is only like from monre Park to San Gabriel that's like that's like 12 miles fast pass but this up you guys remember watching the era of ████ both Armageddon and Deep Impact yeah dude all right obviously AR Independence Day did you do you saying Aragon's better as a movie as a movie yeah it is I AG better soundtrack too oh you sounded like you I was waiting for attack him be like it's the music video that got me she's like see that's romantic that's way more
3:24 romantic that's your Jupiter thing stop trying to get us to like Jupiter we're not going to like Jupiter this guy always brings it up Jupiter's got a cool dud we're like no Jupiter's late stop campaigning for other planets Saturn he's got get to know Jupiter you know Saturn hey Saturn was also the cooler looking Planet it didn't have a pimp sell me on Saturn right now sell us on Saturn the infinite rings of awesome oh that's cool but that's just space dust a giant red pimple well okay with a lot of love but Neptune always gets slept on yeah people forget about Neptune they don't really tell them about tell them they don't know let us know tell tell them about Neptune bro Neptune it's gassy dude oh it's gassy that's better line for Uranus that's true damn that's
4:15 a good one yeah but didn't they just find out that ████ ain't need even a planet they keep flip flopping Pluto Pluto's out technically out but then it's like back in but then it's out man my friend's ████ 3-year-old son knows all the plan cuz it's the smallest one isn't it isn't Pluto a small small guy pick on the dwarf you know it was a it was a moon does Pluto have as maybe maybe it has asthma like you can't hang with us dude you know the last time a com hit us the dinosaurs died yeah had him had it coming honestly you better do it job God struck him down dude not romantic it was a breakup it was a break God didn't like how the dinosaurs were living so he ████ struck them down we're probably going to die by the same thing yeah dude that's what do you think we have to do to get struck down by God with a comet by
5:06 actual God by an Ice Age actual God we I don't know we've been doing some horny ████ these days I don't know if got be cool with that like what kind of horny ████ he's over it right he goes man you guys ████ doing that horny ████ again ████ fu just do what you want cuz that the last time he he struck down was when the Romans were getting too horny like man you guys ████ ████ other D I got to ████ do this and then and then you reset that ████ and then people are like oh you know what like you guys got to be a church now we got to be married we got to have kids we can't be ████ around we got to all right let's be boring let's grow some beats and then ████ live life like that yeah yep and I think he does that every couple when we get too horny he almost had a time interval that he when
5:56 we get too hard so if we if we knew if you guys knew that we were literally facing extinction like this PL come in that you know they put the giant clock on ████ TV for no reason for anxiety it's like T minus like 12 days and 38 whatever what would you guys be doing ████ and suck it dude we're going to ████ a sucking You' be sucking why you point at me not ████ a sucking I'm not ████ a sucking you I'm just saying like like what Joe was saying pointing in your direction like what Joe was saying like referring to his last name that just goes to his point going get more horny yeah people already do it they're going to purge I feel like most people wouldn't believe it even if it was like oh it's real this time guys and they did all too many things had not happened even with a DJ clock I mean if you live through Y2K this would probably be like Y2K was it yeah but Y2K was like
6:46 conceptual with digital software seem like peanuts compared to this we're talking like seeing a physical anomaly that's heading towards us it's growing day byday visually like coming in and probably people are hella scared now because of we you know we just had the pandemic right so now anything can happen yeah that's true true so like you you're saying asteroid's coming and fizer comes out with a vaccine for it no no I'm just people would like will believe that things are it's going to happen in the world ████ 12 days yeah sure 12 days that's a lot of days if it's coming towards America cuz now you get to do a lot I feel like Americans would actually just pull their guns out of stuff I got this ████ could you imagine us just shooting in the sky that would be so crazy that's the American way damn that would be a sick ass La last tactic though for like just the world to just put their G up
7:36 what if it does it's going toward Texas and everyone's just and it actually breaks it up into small pieces and being like the rich people in the space station watching like with your coffee and you just see the Earth just like that's an AR-15 going on brings the world together that's probably why Elon and those guys are making those space shuttles on dudey as ████ damn all of that Mr Branson is wait does bessos have a space thing yeah he has a space program they're all doing it man Mr bessos they're all building it up because they knew this ████ was coming way before they're playing the long game so it's like all right what is my ████ Escape Plan cuz then they have to launch comic comes down and as
8:27 private contractors they're probably privy to like confidential information they let know because of yeah but they know and all the rich people have like tickets already to the space station I'm sure oh yeah they're chilling well it's got to be like Noah Arc right they're probably choosing at least one person of every category so you might be like the one fight coordinator that they're bring up you need one of everything we need a b coordinator on here yeah that's true how are we going to get our Chinese Theater up here I'm like pick me like the masks yeah Chinese Opera have you ever seen on Simpsons when that happened and then um like they the whole world thought they were going to be extinct so everyone from the church ran to the bar and everyone from the bar ran to the church sick that's the best explanation so fun that's the best explanation right
9:18 there what would happened I wonder what would people do lard Jiu-Jitsu well I think first people would stop going to work yeah so then all the stuff like from just end H yeah like you need things to run no more no plumbers bro everything you think you guys think people get more violent or more I think there'll be Mass suicides yeah like like people just start purging yeah but I also think that themselves Dam if governments don't announce it I think there'll be a lot of Skeptics I think they'll still be Skeptics even if Government anybody who needed to exact Vengeance for any reason would just ████ go dude that's crazy they did confirm that it was real do you think they would even announce it I don't don't think so that's why but if they did announce it then it's going to be in all the movies they always don't for as long as possible and then at the very last moment when there's no other
10:09 chice protagonist leaks it they do in order to just make sure people are just like spend time with your loved ones it's the end guys and remember the person who still always goes to work is the last news reporter who's always on the air to the last moment to be with everybody yeah they're the people people at the hurricanes in Florida that's still reporting well there's all this wind and then the palm trees are going like this yeah no but there's always some white lady that's like I like jogging in hurricanes it's the best condition that's like the black ice girl she eats ████ bro it was so bad that was a concussion for sure that's my favorite running ████ whenever I'm sad I just watched dude it's just so great out here asid's coming he's watching that video and then if you see them uh recording the waves and a hurricane there's always some crazy Surfer that's
10:59 like and he's just like yeah dud my friends were all surfing that last this last one they were just like [Music] yeah
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