0:00 Funny thing is that like you have a power to just like instantly do this, but you're like, I want to make backtoback threeweek courses. [Music] >> Okay, I'm going to make you guys choose between two very obscure choices. Would you rather have the power to um perform magically instant pain-free abortions? >> Oh my god. Or would you rather have the power to reverse abortions for women who regretted it? >> Reverse? >> Wait, what? What the hell does that even reverse? Yeah, >> reverse an abortion. >> I'd give abortions out. >> So, you mean like they they regret it so you could put the baby back in? >> Yeah, you can reverse the whole process. >> I would I would reverse >> for sure. >> Yeah. >> Really? >> Yeah. Because because I think the
0:51 painfree one >> they're going to I mean that one >> you just snap your fingers and then the the gone. Yeah. Oh, like so they don't have to go through like >> they don't have to go through anything. Yeah. It's like it's just nothing. Yeah. Just they're good. They're good to go. >> But one you're like the uh inherent kind of like taker of life and one you're like the renewer of life. >> Yeah. >> Or the renewer of like no regrets. Not not regret, but like someone that's like you could make them >> feel like I want that second chance. And then you're like oh actually yeah uh >> the giver of second chances. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh okay. And then so they don't have to live with the like the the trauma and the pain of like oh what if you know >> and then but then the other one is more like alakazoom. >> Oh it don't hurt I'm go again. >> Mhm. >> That's true.
1:41 >> What the heck? >> Maybe maybe I'll be down more down with the giver of second chances. I think >> oh same with you. >> I don't know. At first I said I would just take abortions. I'll just do it painfree. But now, now that you actually think about it, you're like, I don't know. But I think uh I think I would keep I think you hear way more issu way more stories of people needing abortions. >> Yeah. >> And bringing a child into this world. That seems a little bit >> Yeah. Cuz here's the thing. In the first scenario, that means you're clearly pro-choice. Nothing wrong with that, but it's in opposition to pro-life, right? In the second one, you're both pro-choice and pro-life at the same time. >> Oh, how does that work? Well, it's cuz it's the woman's choice out of her regret to want it back. And then you're pro-life by renewing. >> So, yeah, you're okay with her making, I
2:31 guess, that mistake in that perspective. And then you're also okay with giving it >> and you're like you're saving what was a what some people view as a murder. You know, >> the first one it encourages too much of nothing beats a jet holiday and then they just have to ask Joe. So, I become Planned Parenthood. Yeah. >> And all of a sudden, I'm like the abortion genie cuz every the secret's going to go out, dude. This school, this guy could hook it up. It doesn't even hurt. So, my f I'm just going to be like, girls lined up. Oh, I went on a Jet 2 holiday. Please help. And I'm like, Alakazam, >> this you know what mine would do? This is how I fix that problem. >> For me to snap and take the baby away, you would have to do 3 weeks of safe sex courses. Oh,
3:21 >> and I and guess who's teaching it? >> This guy. >> And I just rant my belief and I'm I'm crazy. >> But I just rant my beliefs for three weeks straight. >> Doesn't mean the ladies baby is growing for 3 weeks. >> If I get ah snap. So it's not an immediate. It's like you can think about it a little stasis. >> It went from 6 months to 7 months. >> It's like a driver's ed course. >> This guy traffic school. He's got to go to ████ pregnancy. And then my thing, my whole thing would be like, "Stop letting these dudes nut inside of you." That' be the whole thing. That'd be the whole thing. Like you can't Some of these guys could ruin your life. Like that would be like my whole stick. >> It has to be both. So the guy that ████ nutted her. It's like traffic school, but both have to be there. >> Obviously. >> Hey, did you hear that? I like that one. >> Wait, what? >> The guy has to be there, too. >> It's traffic school because both have to
4:11 be there. >> And then I'll just be like, "Shut the ████ up in my class, dude. Listen to this. You wouldn't be here." Even though it was great. >> Here, this obviously duh. You snap your You think I'm an animal? >> I would run it Chinese style. So Chinese style is >> obviously duh. No, >> I'm going to run a Chinese school style. Okay. >> Yeah. >> The abortion is painfree. >> Yeah. >> But before you get there, you do the 3-week course. >> I'm going to lecture you over. >> Then after I have the girl tied up in a ████ band splits position. >> I don't know about that. >> I haven't ████ spake her ████ 20 times. >> You better ████ learn. So, there's Bart School and then there's Nick School. >> And then I take the guy's dick out and I get the ruler. Don't do that again. Don't do that again. >> But the ruler is like the old school '90s braces when you suck it. >> Oh, that's feather duster. >> Feather duster, dude. And then
5:02 >> Oh, that's true. >> You guys pass by Alakazam. Bam. >> Okay. >> I like that. It's like you have to go to traffic school cuz you did a violation, right? assuming that they were just being irresponsible and they had a drunken night out >> and it wasn't because of some ████ up reason. >> Yeah. >> So, you go to traffic school, right? And determining how the score is. >> Yeah. >> She could get a pain-free holiday, but then her pain transfers to him. >> Oh, interesting. >> Yeah, >> that's new. >> It's a new twist. >> Yep. cuz his balls balls balls goes and then the ████ kung fu master busts out of the window and then he goes and he kicks him in the balls. >> I'm going to piggy back off the 3-week thingy, Nick. >> Yeah. >> What would you add to the course? >> He's going to add 9 months to it. >> No, Sub's on my team, bro. Sub's on my
5:53 team, bro. >> He has a 9month course and then by the time the baby comes out, he's like, "It's too late. Sorry." Cuz he's pro-life course. No, instead of that, I'd say for your class, instead of sex ed, cuz that's boring. >> No, no, no. I'm going to make it so fun though. I'm going to make it. But the point is is >> Yeah. Everybody knows how to ████ You know what I'm saying? Safety. They just choose not to, Nick. >> Nick, they just choose not to ████ safely. You know what I'm saying? At the end of the day. >> No, that's the point. And I'm telling them about like, hey, you guys can't do that. I'm not going to teach them how to put pe. But they're not going to listen is what I'm trying to tell you. >> The point is is that they for them to do this, they have to go through an immense amount of pain. Yeah. Like they have to go through like ████ I don't want to do that again cuz they'll ████ again, but if they want to get an abortion, they can get a plan B or whatever, but they have to go through my course. And I'm yelling at them for 3 weeks. >> But it's like going to school, Nick. You know what I mean? That's the whole point to go to school. That's the point.
6:44 >> This isn't much of a piggyback scheme. More of an argument. >> Yeah, dude. I thought we're on the same team, dude. >> They don't like school. All right, >> but listen. But listen, this is the point. >> They're not supposed to. >> You got to you got to give them a flight, right? A flight straight to whatever ████ their country is. And you got to help feed the kids. >> All the kids. >> That's good. That's good. World community service. >> Yeah. It's a world community service. You're going to be around kids. You're going to be in kids who who's in need of help. >> Be out of pocket with the flight money. >> No. No. No. No. No. We're going to fund it cuz you're a lesson cuz look look >> it cost so much to be to be a genie. >> Africa, all the third world countries that just don't got it like that. And you're going to be feeding kids and the kids. And the last course, >> the last course you go into an adoption center, >> okay? And you see the kids that didn't want, you know, that didn't get aborted. >> So all these kids think you're there to adopt them, but you're just there to look at the dog
7:34 >> like a ████ dog pound. All the dogs are like, "We're going to get adopted today." >> Exactly. You got to hang out with the kids and doo. >> Honestly, we're on the same team, bro. >> No, we are on the same That's why I said I was piggyback. I was just I was just debating about that school logic. School sucks ass. >> Hold on, Subie. This is what we do. >> Going to Africa is way better. >> We combine it. Okay. We do a 3 week course of meeting where I just yell at them for having sex without condoms, letting dudes bust inside of them >> on the plane. >> Yeah. >> On the plane. >> I don't know. It has to be long, dude. It has to be whole. And then they earn the trip. >> What if they're asleep? >> Yeah. We can't Why do they get a vacation? >> Hey, we're genies, right? We Hey, let's go. >> We We popping money. >> Yeah. And if I was a girl, I'd be like, I want to go see the Taj Mahal. I'm going to get pregnant. >> Yeah. >> You're only genies of abortion. You still have to use Expedia like everyone else. You're like, ████ God, these
8:25 deals are too expensive. We didn't think this through. >> If you if you clapping cheeks in Africa and you get a baby, you stuck in Africa. We taking your passport. >> Oh, okay. >> More stipulations. >> Scared >> cuz you don't know. You don't know what's going to happen with students. >> I think you would be a really good uh sex scared straight coach. >> Why the ████ is that supposed to mean? >> That's what you described. You described basically scared straight but with sex ed. >> Yeah, that's the point. >> Chlamydia. I'll spell that. >> Yeah. You're like a You're like a Yeah. You're basically like a tough love dare representative. >> She be like, "You want AIDS and s███?" >> And I'll just I'll have like a panel of just horror stories of uh of ladies getting pregnant out of wedlock or whatever. >> Not like it's a bad thing, but you know, >> but you're going to be running backtoback 3 week courses all the time. Like, are you going to enjoy yourself? >> Busy as hell. >> We'll do like a we'll do like a what you call it like a cohort. will be like
9:17 class of May of 2028. >> You got to wait till the next season. >> Yeah. You know, for June, >> no matter what, they're just going to be having babies during the off season. >> Yeah. And I'm just gonna be like, "Hey, you guys are back again. You guys want to go through the course again?" "All right, cool." >> The funny thing is that like you have a power to just like instantly do the ████ but you're like, "I want to make backtoback 3we courses." >> The ████ that wasn't even asked of you. It wasn't even asked of you. You're like, >> it's supposed to be painful for the people so they don't come back. That was that was that's the solution to the problem. >> Oh, you're you're trying to add like a social cure >> cuz remember this dude was like, "Hey, you know, they're going to keep coming back. They're going to ████ come back and they're not going to learn the lesson." So my job is, hey, this is the lesson. This is the pain point. You don't want to come back to >> He's not trying to rip off the band-aid. He's trying to cure the illness. >> Yeah. Yeah. You can't be a lecture. Come here. >> No, you have to. Or I'm not going to
10:07 give you the I'm not going to give you the treatment. That's the whole thing. And you're not going to go to Wasubi's trip. >> Yeah. So it's like it's behind a payw wall of education. We're the best one two combination in this game. >> That's like a lot of people, dude. >> That's everybody. That's so many people. Yeah. See, they don't have to save a child. >> You should do a webinar, >> right? >> Oh, yeah. Webinar like a like a >> Exactly. >> There should be a web page. >> So, do you have a stipulation as well for for like if a woman comes to you and it's like, "Hey, I I regretted my abortion key. Reverse it." Is >> you got to talk to Anthony? >> There's no They don't got to do nothing. It's just they just get it. They don't got to do classes. >> That's not That's not my curriculum. That's not my policy, right? >> What I do is I actually So I work with Expedia. >> You have a brand deal with Expedia? >> Uh-huh. >> We book them a plane ticket to Africa. They go on safaris. They enjoy life as it is and see the beauty of like little
10:57 giraffes that are born and lovingly taken care of. Maybe they'll see one get eaten up by a lion, but like that's a part of the circle of life. >> Did you like those women trips like geos? >> Yeah. Yeah. I do I do think the the people that want to put the baby back in, >> they might have actually learned their lesson >> cuz I feel like that might be a painful time, you know? They think back, they might be like >> like 28 or some ████ 30, and they're like, "F███, man. When I was 19 and I made that dumbass mistake." What? >> Oh, you're giving them a grace period. >> No, I'm just thinking I think people that have regret. Usually that people have regret, it's usually a while later. When the baby comes goes in, it's like it can't come out like like a abortion again. It's it's coming out the right way. Natural birth baby. And it's twins. They don't have a choice. >> And the other thing double give >> back to my course. I don't talk about my course again. But like the reason why my
11:47 course is actually good is because they gives them three weeks to really think about if they want me to snap my fingers. >> Oh. Oh. Because they might just be like, "Yeah, but here's the thing. It's it's America, right? So, if you were to if you were to snap it away, there's side effects that come with it, but you just don't know what the side effects are. >> You can't add rules, dude. What is that? >> What is What is happening? I think we're just talking. >> Come on, man. We're just talking or not. >> May cause vomiting, diarrhea. >> Hey, what's the side effects? What's the side effects? can cause dizziness, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea.
// end of tape