0:00 [Music] and welcome back everybody to another awesome episode of the careful boys well we are extremely carefully here and saying the most careful things we've got tesh here today tesh um just off camera actually though we were talking a little bit about some sims stories and we heard a little bit of of a bart sim story that was just bart simpson wait what do you thought sims story no sense oh i wish it [Laughter] so we have a mutual friend we were talking about um me too man so we went [Laughter] we went to the same high school together um but we didn't know each other back then because when i left he came in right but we were reminiscent about the same thing yeah people that we might and there's a mutual girl that we know
0:50 that bart had a crush on well it's crazy so it's a small world it's a small world um her name is anthony lee and you guys are all eskimo brothers for it [Music] do you have that many dicks in your butthole we never hooked up what you hooked up with everyone here except for me um don't you want some spice in your life um that was his past life i'm i'm trying not to feel gay right now um that's a part so this is pretty crazy because it's like it's just crazy how small of a world is like we just found out we were connected another way through sean and alec you know it's just like like because we're all parts of soul cal but then we know mutual people it's a small world it's a small world so um i met this chick uh i remember going to elac and you know
1:41 like all the like depending on what you're making easterly community college depending on your majors you're kind of revolving around the same buildings and then so i was a science major and i saw this chick walking around like a couple of times i'm like oh man she's cute and then i went to bali's during in rosemead and uh women's dreams like total fitness oh they go to bali yeah it was for a little bit and uh probably later they they definitely marketed towards women yeah she was on the treadmill running and i was you know do you remember have you guys ever been there i know joe has valley's total fitness and rose mead yeah it's by the target man so there's a uh there's a track that goes around the whole gym so i was walking around the track i saw her and i was like oh ████ that's that girl from school i need to find a way to talk to
2:31 her so i just keep walking around on the track i've got to figure out something to say figure out something to say this was back in the day when you actually had to talk to women yeah this is 2004 like 2004. you can't just airdrop them dick pics 2004 this is like iphone 2 not even iphone one what did the iphone maybe the sidekick no not even no kids no kids next toe yeah so i don't even know what i had i i remember walking and then i was like all right you know what i'm just gonna say some ████ ████ or whatever and then i'll just let it come out and then i'll roll up the punches so i walk up to her i see her walking with her headphones in and i'm like oh do you come here a lot classic come here often she was like she's like what i'm like oh you got like headphones in here you can't hear me she's okay oh you come here and then she
3:21 goes um she takes it out and then she goes uh she goes what'd you say and i'm like oh do you come here a lot she goes yeah i come here i'm like oh cool yeah i come here too so i just kept walking ah come on bart nothing happened dude 19. i'm scared you know and i'm like all right okay whatever i probably blew it and then um the what is it called the next time i saw her at school like you come here a lot i said some ████ like that but i think it was all like hey are you here i think it was more like oh it's you from bali's no way you come here too you come to school she never seen you at school no she's never seen me at school and no no he does the only thing you said you come here a lot and she goes ha and then you walked away i was scared
4:11 man i was ████ scared that's scary and then yeah it is so i saw her at school probably blew it again and i was like oh ████ this is this is horrible and then um one time i saw her walking out and i was able to like walk with her to to her next class and actually have a conversation where she laughed i'm like cool this is do you remember what you said to make her don't remember um but i do remember appropriate telling joe i'm like there's this girl that i like she's cute and i think i showed joe her myspace or something tired hey when you said this is this girl i liked it did you like know things about her or was it just because you were attracted to her i liked the way she looked nice but by this time by back then he fell in love before he even met the person exactly he just sees them and he's all like oh that girl we're going to be
5:02 together forever i told y'all that's my wife i told joe i met my wife and then joe's like what the ████ i ████ know who she is i'm like oh ████ hook it up then and then um i don't remember what like uh but we ended up trading like numbers and like pokemon cards too you traded yeah and we started hanging out and this is the part where it gets crazy because she had a boyfriend at the time oh your side piece so you're the side piece and this is where i think it ties into us because we're talking about this yeah so she has a boyfriend at the time and i'm like oh ████ then i asked my dad and then i was like hey dad so there's this i don't even talk about that's the worst can you distract your boyfriend do you ask your dad for advice on girls yes dad if he comes here a lot
5:53 so i only asked my dad on stuff for stuff that i like where i have no other options will you have it you want a s█████ answer his dad always gives the worst advice yeah so i was like hey dad there's this girl that i like her personality based off her face [Laughter] and i was like um but she has a boyfriend what do you think i should do and he was like your like boyfriend girlfriend is just a tryout period if they're serious they would have gotten married i like it dude that's classic my dad would have said something very similar yeah old school so i was like all right that's what my dad said so we started hanging out and um it got pretty serious where like we would go on dates and stuff and we would um like she would be the last person that
6:43 i mean i would be the last one she talked to at night more and more and more and then if she would like let's say she knows i'm starting from the finals she would come and bring me food to my house oh and or like if we're gonna go or if we're gonna go to the gym like she would come to my house pick me up and it's out of the way so it got really really really serious and it was crazy because we're behaving like boyfriend and girlfriend in terms of like um emotional intimacy and like how much we hung out that i was like wait do you have a boyfriend how come like how come i'm the duder with all the time and i'm like okay i have to like even he was confused by it dude but not even for sex it was like emotions doesn't that sound like a friend zone thing yeah yeah yeah yeah so which is crazy right so i was like okay i gotta let her know what if she just thought that he was gay the entire time you're a gay best friend we gotta call her up right now
7:33 but here's the thing it's like there's this um well anyways so i i sat i was like we got we gotta i felt like there's too much in the air that's not cleared up so um i met met up with her i told her like how i felt about her and like that i liked her and all that stuff and like she was like i think she was like um what's the word she was happy but then also regretful and then also kind of ashamed yeah cause you made it too real yeah you pop you made it too real dude don't make it too real man we figured that the best the best bet would be to not talk at all anymore right and so we stopped talking for like maybe a month that's very bart style and then i don't know what happened we started hanging out again and this time it gets crazier because
8:23 um like when we would hug at night to part ways she would go down it would be long hugs and i could have sworn a few times she would like kiss me on the neck without kissing me on the neck you know what i mean she like spit she just spit on your neck take that you ████ gay guy but what's crazy is like if you know how christian she is like my way of trying to understand her is like i think she's trapped in this crazy christian mindset and she really actually likes me but she doesn't want to deal with the reality of her boyfriend and like really having to like set things straight she kind of just like likes the things as is and crossing the line so far where she did something wrong exactly did she ever have a conversation with you about him or about
9:14 you two and like in relationship to that or like making a difference no never she never took it to that that far and then so there's a big fiasco that happened but two weeks leading up to that we started holding hands and stuff too oh ████ dude because that's when it got past the friend zone yeah you broke it because i was like you hang out with her too much you need to start touching her you need to ████ do something yeah i can only imagine his advice during this during this process what was your hair like back then i was bald but completely yeah so you were you were like you were better you were like oh i'm gonna smash this table and it was ████ dick right here so yeah it was getting it was getting you choose that out of everything it was ████ dick right here yeah so it's getting pretty crazy
10:04 so since we since we hung out so um like so late into the night the the the night that sparked everything off and blew everything out of proportion and like the ultimate moment that came out was i drop her off at her pet and then as i drive away um i guess like her boyfriend at the time calls their house phone because everyone still had house phones at the time and i think her sister was like oh i don't know he just got dropped off by a guy or something like that and then that's where it was that's when it started because i got home take out the sisters kneecaps crazy phone calls from her and she's like crying and stuff and i'm like what's going on she's like oh my boyfriend found out my boyfriend found out i found out about what we didn't do ████ and then she was like
10:55 you know you gotta talk to him whatever and then told you to um to him or not told me to talk to him but like i don't know she's frantic right i don't know spitting on my neck your girl drooling on my neck and now you we've been holding hands and ████ platonically and then exactly who you think gave me this and then uh yeah she's like oh and i guess because like i'm in such simp mode that i cared about her so much and then since she was getting heat from her boyfriend i was like i'll i'll talk to him you're the mistress bro you're like let me go you got nothing to lose so i talked to you guys this fool starts crying on the phone and ████ yeah this dude starts crying on the phone and he was like he's like oh man i can't believe he's been hanging out with you did you spit on your neck too [Music]
11:47 uh she broke my heart whatever and i started lecturing him qualities that i liked this ultimate set moment all the qualities because she was like man i'm gonna ████ dump this stupid ass ████ and saying all these things i think she's not a ████ dude oh yeah she's a ████ for sure leave her to me [Laughter] like can you believe this this girl do both of us yeah like you didn't do that my scent pass was uh she's not a ████ man she's that's this good quality and if you you liked her man yeah you're like apologizing the right amount of time should probably forgive you too and and like just the opposite of what's in my face that's kind of good advice something like a dumbass and uh that whole if you love someone you let them go right yeah the whole thing popped off oh my god you repaired them and
12:40 i repaired them and then i thought it was going to be one of those things where it dies down later on i could talk to her their love got intense or maybe they broke up she fell in love or some ████ like that right i messed her a couple times on myspace nothing happens and then um facebook one last time i sent her a couple posts one last time was her best friend i forgot her name but she messaged me and then she told me leave her the ████ alone it gives me this whole big ass thing like like ████ going in and i'm like oh ████ okay i could take that and then uh for like maybe a week or two i was like so ████ depressed like even my dad came and checked up on me he's like dude are you okay or yo your asian dad checked to see if you were depressed oh dude you must have been ████ yeah yeah yeah obliterated
13:30 that's not even in the vocabulary yeah like he hasn't shouted for like a week yeah you're not gonna kill like do me stupid kill yourself right now four i think like maybe a few years later two years later did you even go to a church and ask god to give her back to you and you weren't even christian you told me that ████ wow best friend's secrets coming out no he said because he's like man he goes i ain't even christian but i was so after that whole fiasco he's all like i ████ pulled up i saw a church i ████ the church was open and i just started praying in that ████ i was like yeah and i was like i was like you don't even ████ breathe i don't remember i don't know what heart has a heart maybe i don't i don't even remember that but uh bart's kind of a sweetheart but we're like bart that's hard i don't remember that yeah he's like dude come on i got an image to keep i saw her on atlantic i remember once i made fun of him we're driving i saw him atlantic right after
14:21 that whole thing i saw her and then i smiled at her and she looks at me she just goes like this and just drives off oh my oh ████ that's like literally oh my gosh hey she was the first one why do you think she was so upset at you you think because she gave you an opportunity to seize the day and you just were like because he fixed something that she was hoping to get out of maybe and that was like the crescendo and the crescendo's always really cuz she didn't want to be the bad guy yeah it seems like she wanted you to do the dirty work yeah and then he did he did he did god's work you did yeah that guy apologized and she was like ████ this is even worse and now they're married and have 16 kids that she regrets she probably blamed you for where is she now her infidelity i don't know this i mean so long ago uh we'll find out we know her yeah are you looking for her right now is that no shut the ████ up that's not her
15:11 that is not her he pulled out someone with the same name and she looks like a really big person chopping at walmart doesn't matter that's not her dude maybe she doesn't work at bali's anymore she works at walmart you know is that the right ethnicity no she's sure she's like arabic that's her yeah yeah no it's not here hey that's the right name though right yeah cowboy hat and all yo hey was my description accurate was my was my description right send her a message be like hey do you come here a lot and what's crazy is once i got to ucla because she was gonna go there too once i got to ucla um my roommate who were like you know like you just
16:01 have like deep talks and stories with your roommate she was like wait that's her name she's in my class and i was like what the ████ by the way she follows you everywhere like that you know what's weird crazy dude i would have never she was the one that violated all the rules and then she blamed you yeah she was the one stepping out of her relationship and her boyfriend she didn't even have the courage to let her boyfriend know that she's still with the yeah she's still with that guy i have no idea sister rather than but then you thought that guy that was with it might be the same guy that you were telling me because he was just like before he was like man she was with this one guy that he shouldn't even been with her she didn't even like him do you think she'll see this i don't think so should we send it to her i know you guys are pretty famous you guys are pretty famous should we send you something i will say i will say two times no
16:52 three times people have pulled me aside to take a photo with me and they're like we saw you on jk news that was her running away right now she was right about to come say what's up geo might have even met her before what because she was being your best friend uh at the time probably jewish was your best friend she was dating my best friend at the time and uh chio is dating your best bart likes dating women are you still friends with this guy who no no no no bart likes but he watches relationships oh he does he watches yeah because i told the story about our matching tattoo and then he sent the video because i was like i don't know if he covered it up or not and he sent that video to our mutual friend that he stole he goes i still have oh that's cool you
17:42 got a matching tattoo with your ex best friend yes before they were ex-best friends yeah of course yeah yeah of course or that's absolutely or after that's right what does it say well now it says that's right it's wrong too i'm afraid i'm afraid of everybody it says i'm afraid of everybody this is 2003 google translate google translate google translate why'd you ask like your because dad japanese me and my best i don't know i can't see it me and my best friend just came out of boot camp and all hyped up about like the whole warrior ████ so we're like we need to get like something tough so we we google translated fearless the asian guy google translated the asia tattoo on his ████ who's none of this is making he's korean i'm
18:33 chinese right let's pick neutral territory japanese so we both don't know the language and then that's the decision territory you're ████ 18 i'm sorry no we're just funny just like you know japan occupied both of those yeah first of all you should have picked you should have picked ireland so then you could have just wrote in english real neutral territory i don't fear anyone it's got an accident it's got an accident i don't fear anyone pretty good dude i like that so it's supposed to be fear no one but google translate of course ████ it up so it's like i uh everyone i fear or something so the way he found out was my mom was reading it she goes who's he afraid of and i'm like what
19:26 i just see your mom being like staring at his shin and being like damn this qr code is qr code and see what it is no but like on paper that's like one of the funniest stories ever because there's always that ████ running gag about you getting a tattoo in a different language and it doesn't it's just water and it's usually white dudes but it's a change but it fits and the white dudes added it we got it in north carolina the guy's like hey i don't know the language so i'm just going to trust you guys well no we got it at least he was honest he was honest with you guys so we used to google man but you didn't have one japanese friend in the military at the time it was me and yeah you guys all white all black you know that's it colonel tanabe colonel watson but they weren't cool they were cool yeah [Music]
20:32 you
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