0:00 do you guys know anyone who makes their dogs vegan oh God yeah seen they're dumb too and cats I've seen that too I seen that put shoes on dogs and ████ that's you know what I'm talking about that can be cute Bart not even the dogs want it [Music] though before we get underway Ryan can you tell us about 7-Eleven cookies all so 7-Eleven has these little like Cube Box Thing things with chocolate chip cookies that are very good okay cool now that you know you're welcome you're caught up so are is this an article related to this no not at all we just want to hook our fans up oh sick with the best cookies on the planet cuz they're gas they're pretty good magic cookies are really good too anyways magic cook magic are very good really really good so there was this blogger all right a Russian blogger who was
0:52 recently sentenced to 8 years in prison after his newborn son was starved to death from being fed only sunlight CU he believed in the Superman theory of children and the sun what's the Superman Theory you know this Theory no that sounds dumb as I Haven seen this you have it's called well like in another way there's um solar dazing like what your tanure ball sack no it's like um when I was when I was um the one that the the college kids are doing or some ████ when I was touring with ELO half of them believe like for a second believed in solar gazing as a way to get nutrients where you just stare at the ████ Sun oh my God what the know that's not true just melt your retinus you just don't eat and you can like no you just like for I nutrients from that it's a specific thing where like you have to look at it at a specific minute
1:43 of the day that's not true you can get your nutrients for the whole day if you stare at the right time Nick how do you know this this is absolutely not true how do you know and then you have did you do the research because the the reason that they believed it was there was this Guru that claimed that he did that for years and he doesn't eat anything and then they came out later this Fool's beening eating the whole time yeah no been eating the because the logic yeah cuz the logic is oh the sun's down so I got yeah the sun's down so I got to eat at night this guy who discovered that you don't need to eat you got to stare the ████ Sun why didn't he teach all these famine ridden countries how to do that instead it's like people in Ino that are just like choosing to not eat it's like you saved tons of people that don't have food guys in the Cena who buy wind charms all day
2:34 yeah doing sound bath so yeah it got debunked pretty pretty quickly no way wow yeah he should go to jail right imagine like you just read this you're like I think I'm going try this on my baby no yeah that's while he's eating food y yeah absolutely try this on my baby well he's a lifestyle blogger his name is Maxim luy I don't know age 44 he wanted his baby boy who named Cosmos oh no to be like Superman uh so his infant ended up dying of pneumonia and emaciation when he was just 1 month old and it gets it gets a little bit more tragic sad man um he doesn't know it's not working out the baby was born at home because he didn't let his mother Oxana Miranova nailed it
3:24 na sounds like a a Russian ice skater yeah go to the hospital he wanted to go to the hospital he demanded that the infant should live on sunlight instead of food and milk which was stupid um it says there it does but the mom's ████ titties are going to explode cuz someone needs to milk her that's a very empathetic thought of yours say that enough yeah I'm going to let that one sit for another second or so think about the dangerous repercussions of I'm not letting those things get milk absolutely got to milk those breasts you guys we should make a hashtag for that milk those breasts um he forced her not to feed the baby uh her boyfriend believed that the son was feeding the baby Oxana was secretly trying to breastfeed the baby but she was very afraid of Maxim uh how is it possible to feed the
4:15 baby with sunlight a baby needs his mother's milk she says not wrong yeah you ████ idiot um she's not an idiot bar oh Maxim okay cool thank you for clarifying very good magazine though I thought you were talking about her a very good magazine I like Oxana she's nice she's she's [Laughter] nice um Maxim would also reportedly take Cosmos away from his mother for a day at a time dousing him with cold water to harden him what's this ████ eating is he yeah dude this guy's eating full ass meals he's eating Moonlight he needed to be in jail a long time he's having granola bars but his baby's got to sunlight after weeks of this abuse uh Maxim ventured to let his child see a doctor but it was tragically too late Jesus some people should never have kids
5:06 and he was uh 3.5 lb Dead on Arrival Jesus Christ when the parents were arrested 3.5 lb that's even less than when some babies are born Yeah that poor baby yeah he was cutting weight from birth getting ready for a bodying show Bart you seem like you're a big baby what weight were you I was a big baby yeah I bet you a big ████ baby 8 lbb is that average I think so or 7 8 lb what about you you look like you came out hung how how long were you I was I think I was I think 9 and PBS nine I think you're probably big baby baby that's pretty big isn't it equally means your mom's vagina huge go it opened up plus my dad was opening up not enough if people say that hey are you the tallest in the family my dad I'm the tallest in my family yeah who's the second tallest my
5:56 brother Kenny all your brother tall though yeah he's 6'2 yeah we're they're all like over drink men my brother Nate's like barely 6 foot so it's like yikes what an idiot what a loser 511 loser reminds you of like do you guys know anyone who makes their dogs vegan oh God yeah seen they're dumb too and cats I've seen that too I se ████ that put shoes on dogs and ████ that's you know what I'm talking about can be cute Bart not even the dogs want it though in Vegas on a black top in the summer time I say put them in the shoes and some dogs don't walk in rain too you know sometimes you got to put some boots on themt matters grow a heart Bart what the ████ dogs need shoes dogs don't even want them Fe a dog a vegan like like meal is just like they're going to die
6:47 they're going to die they're going to have so many allergies they're going to yeah they're ████ descendants of wolves and you're giving them ████ celery you guys seen the videos not only Cel have you guys seen the videos where they're like yeah my dog's a vegan and they put like vegan meal down and they put meat down and the dog just eats the meat the dog like holy ████ I love it dude I ████ seen I hate seeing the dogs and strollers and ████ too yes oh you like that a ████ brought a dog and ████ stroller whole you don't know if the dog has a hip thing dude you don't know they keep the ████ home dude that's true keep them home or have that ████ do yoga or whatever but they have anxiety though they need you can you can use a handicap spot if your dog is injured really really yeah yeah a little hot tip out there get a handic dog just tell the cops like just show them this video so
7:38 stupid really dud um when parents you parents make their babies vegan right is that illegal it should be probably not a good idea you make your baby vegan I think that's ████ crazy I think so I think they they eat what the parents eat you know yeah I I I think that's less of an issue because uh the other version I'm not saying carnivores I'm just saying like let's say we all grew up on things like Gerber baby food and random ass things that like now were like oh the uh food pyramid that we learned in school is not good for us you ever give a baby a RI eye though dude they light up ████ they're zooming they got energy for hours baby next at dog food and ribeye they choose the ribeye every time I don't even look at the dog food you know what I do love uh when I'm trying to like wind down at night and I'll be like watching scrolling through
8:28 like Tik Tok or IG I love those ASMR videos of dogs just eating ████ crazy plates of food crunching the bones the the raw diets are sick ████ food they got like eggs and ████ like that and vegetables still too and then the dogs hella just hella patient and they got their ████ latex gloves on just being like we're going to crack one egg with the shell and they throw it in there I like when they I like when they have the dog there and he's got a little business suit on and then you got two hands around the dog and he's got a bib on and then they start he starts eating sky like gets me every time those are really Co I can watch this ████ literally all day long they they are really cool those are my favorite videos I like the guy he has a pet cow and he tries to yes and the cow goes crazy he tries to eat meals with his cow behind him like indoors I don't know how but the cow's
9:18 like and it just it just knocks everything over he'll be trying to like cut a pie and the cow is just drooling everywhere it's so funny I think it's fake though no way for sure crazy what they can do with it I think the cow knows what is going on it just makes me angry when the owner's a ████ and then they ████ ify an animal yeah that's what that's what makes I'm like you are just projecting your own insecurities cuz your dog's ████ way tougher than you and then now you're like bring this ████ around and stroll it's like a turn on for you the other way around if like the owner's a ████ and then the animal is like ████ gangster and then be because of that the owner becomes more of a gangster like I've literally never seen that ever it reminds me of just made that up I've never seen a ████ get a Rottweiler and all of a sudden this ████ is like a ████ all those dogs all those dogs end up at the pound
10:10 anyway cuz they can't handle those ████ dogs it reminds me of my grandpa he had a dog um a Golden Retriever and he's like my dog straight and then his dog would always get railed in the ass by his brother and my grandpa would just stand there like holding a beer and he's like what the fck what the ████ oh what oh what the ████ cuz his dog was like a gay bottom yeah yeah yeah yeah love tell us about your uncle's Pomeranians so yeah I had an uncle had AIDS thanks again Anthony and yeah he had Pomeranians but they weren't gay they were straight kind of crazy cuz my uncle was gay so you'd think that he would you know they would learn they would have learned that they would connect on that yeah they didn't no they were completely straight they loved eating ████ yeah waiting for it Pomeranians [Music]
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