0:00 When I was in high school living with my dad, I would just pee in the trash can. >> Shut the ████ up. >> What? Out of spite? >> No, I would pee in the trash cuz I don't want to wake up. >> That's why. >> Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys. Hey, when during the time of day are you most consistently horny? >> What the ████ >> Whoa. Right now. >> Honestly, all day, dude. Honestly, it's the morning. >> You're a morning person. >> And it's ████ annoying. Um, so you know when you get morning wood, I think that's when I'm the horniest. But it sucks because my body and my mind isn't synced up. >> My mind telling me you're astral projecting still. >> You mean when your body has a boner and your mind is horny, but they're not
0:50 synced up? >> No, I mean like it's like ████ 4:30 a.m. and I'm sleepy. I'm tired, but my dick's ready to ████ Oh, but the rest of your body's like >> And I'm like, dude, what the ████ And then the but what sucks is it's like it wants to ████ so much it wakes me up and then I'm like, why did I wake up at 4:30 for nothing and I just try to go back to sleep? >> You guys don't do it. >> That's You having a morning wood is doesn't mean you're horny. It might be such a strong boner. >> No, I am horny. >> Really? It doesn't mean you're horny. >> I am horny. >> Morning wood. When you have morning wood every single time, every day that you have morning wood, you're horny. >> Yep. I feel horny when I got a boner. >> Welcome to Welcome to Advanced Science. You have a boner, you don't feel horny. >> I think on the morning wood, like it's it's hit or miss. >> Strictly business.
1:40 >> Yeah. It's just like >> strictly business. That's what you >> Sometimes I'm like, man, I wish I didn't have a boner right now because I'd rather just go back to sleep as well. Or like I didn't I wish I didn't have a a boner right now because my cats are in between my legs. >> Oo, >> that's a ████ right there. When I have morning wood, I just go pee and then it goes away and then I'm like, "All right." >> How do you pee, dude? You got to like You gota You got to push it down. >> Sit down, dude. >> Yeah, you got to pan on the wall. >> Oh, you sit down on the toilet seat. >> I straddle the tank. >> Oh, that's what I do. >> I straddle the tank. >> Honestly, dude, normalized guy sitting down to pee. >> I do it all the time. >> I can't do that. I got to I got to straddle what he does. >> If I really need to pee with a boner, I just go piss in the shower. >> But then when you wake up later, your shower smells like ████ >> ████ You piss in the shower with the shower off. You don't rinse it. >> I'm not trying to wake up. >> No, but you know what's You're going to ████ up your grout, dude.
2:30 >> No. No. So, you know how you He's the king of grout, bro. He's the king of grout. >> You're going to buildout. >> So, you know how like when you're uh >> first diarrhea, now you're >> you know when you're early morning >> ████ in the shower >> early morning like you're just trying to like pee or whatever like there's that like half asleep vibe, right? And you know if you don't do too many things you could still fall back asleep. Yeah, >> but you know if you just open a piece of mail or you ████ go feed a dog, then boom, you're ████ full awake even though you're not ready to >> feed a dog. >> So I'm trying not to get there. So if I if I'm still like this, I'm like, ████ I I know if I pee. >> So you're trying to stay groggy. >> Get a nightlight, dude. What the ████ >> I know if I go pee in the toilet right now, it's going to spray everywhere. So I'm ████ it. I'll just go in the shower cuz you can't miss. >> So just to be clear, you pee in the shower and you don't rinse it. Cuz if I
3:20 turn the knob, I'm waking up >> cuz it's too much work. >> But then but then >> he just wants to whip it out. >> But the cost of having a pissfilled shower is not as bad. >> And it doesn't even smell like piss later. It smells like ████ by his words. >> He doesn't rinse. So it soaks into the grout and the calcium builds up. >> Better take a shower like 2 3 4 hours later >> in piss steam. But by then the ammonia is a solid. >> Yeah. >> Does Gio say anything? >> What are her? >> He probably does it too, right? Come on. Well, if she woke >> my tiles got yellow, that's why I stopped doing. >> Well, if she woke up before I did, she's like, "Why does that shower smell like piss?" >> And then go, "Cooper, that'll cooper." >> I get I guess if it's not tiled, you're safe. But it's still gross.
4:10 >> Is it tiled? >> It is. Yeah. >> No, on the you know, on the bottom, you mean like the tub style? >> You don't think that affects your property value? This ████ >> Did you disclose that to the new owner? >> I pee in the shower with no water on. >> Cuz isn't that illegal? Don't you have to say if you do that? >> That's cuz this one doesn't have to clean up after his pee. He hire someone. >> That's when I stopped doing it cuz like I had to get the calcium powder and then like and that's with me peeing in the shower while the water's running. >> Calcium powder. >> Oh, so you're not supposed to pee in the shower at all. >> It builds up, dude. >> What kind of pee you got going on, bro? >> Strong yellow pee. >> And what are you doing? Are you peeing all over the place? just see what you can cover or like you just going right >> to the drain. You guys don't go >> I'm peeing the morning groggy pee. I try not to even focus cuz I'm going to wake up. >> So you you could be peeing to use as little brain power as possible.
5:00 >> So I'm just peeing and then relaxing and then I just walk. >> So that means you're not committing to memory the areas you're peeing. >> I definitely don't know. >> Honestly, try sitting down. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> For groggginess. >> It is easy. >> Cuz you could stay groggy and then you won't spray everywhere. You you have to face you have to straddle that way. >> No, that was a joke. I rest my >> I wasn't joking. I really do that way. >> I'm going to try that. >> You He hugs onto it and then he sleeps on. >> I I squat forwards. >> Just sit down like a like a chick and >> point it down. Tilt your hip. >> Oh, and get a little nightlight. >> And then even if you don't flush the toilet, at least the pee's in the toilet. >> Or just get a catheter. >> That to just pee into it. >> You could do it yourself now. >> Or a diaper. >> Diaper works. DIY >> install a urinal. >> Yeah. >> Yo, Gio would love that. >> Look what I put in our bathroom. A
5:51 urinal. >> And then he still pees in the shower. >> I need the elementary school kind though. The kind that goes straight down. >> Cuz a regular restaurant urinal, you still got to focus and it's going to wake me up. >> Yeah. It still has a height requirement, too. >> Or get the old school one where it's like a big steel sink and it's just open. You know what I'm talking about? >> Where you could just see everyone's dick. >> Yeah, the one from Union. >> Oh, yeah. >> I'm like, what the why did they put in there? >> Love that. She can smell piss all day long. >> And ice chips. >> Why ice? >> How often does this happen? >> Um, not that much cuz I try not to get yelled at as much. >> That's good. >> So, not as much anymore. I haven't done it maybe for at least six months. >> That's good. At least. >> At least. the record.
6:42 >> Like, hi, my name is Bart. I've been 6 months free of peeing in the shower >> with no water. >> Dry shower. Yeah, dry shower is crazy. >> Dry shower. >> Dry shower. That's a new thing, man. >> I know. Not even rinsing it. >> I' I've never done that. I've only peed in the shower if I'm already taking a shower. >> When I was in high school living with my dad, I would just pee in the trash can. >> Shut the ████ up. >> What? Out of spite? >> No, I would pee in the trash cuz I don't want to wake up. That's why >> I would just pee in the trash can, leave it, go back to sleep. >> Yo, doesn't your room smell like piss? >> Well, I'm sleeping. And then and then the morning when I wake up, I would take the trash and and then I would dump it. >> It would just be sloshing. Oh my god. Your dad never said nothing. >> He doesn't know I'm peed in the trash can. >> But he he you never heard him like talk and be like like I wonder why he smells like pee in the house. >> Well, I clean it the same day and I
7:33 don't pee with ████ in it. So if I have trash or whatever, I just go like this and I and I pee into the empty trash can and I leave it and I go >> now. Even with a bag. There's no bag on the inside. >> Dude, no liner. >> Yeah. >> Oh, I don't remember. >> I really like that. We're seeing we're seeing how highly you value sleep. >> We're also seeing that like you should never be surprised if Taika does anything ever. >> Honestly, I'm not that surprised. >> Check his trash can right now, dude. Go check his trash can. Make sure there's no >> There's just piles of ████ in there. This fool pulls a drawer, ████ closes it. >> What if he's like, "Dad, did you ever do stuff like this when you were a kid? Like, >> deny, deny, deny." >> It's ████ genetic, dude. >> It honestly is, dude. >> Dude, I love that all that just so that you don't get too awake is really
8:23 >> cuz I wake up so fast. >> Yeah. And then you just have no shot at >> I don't know how people could like do whatever then go back to sleep. Like I wake up. >> Yeah. I think girls could do that so much easier than guys. Maybe you wake up so fast cuz you go to sleep at like 8:30. >> So at like 3:00 a.m. like that's full rest. >> Oh, that's true. That's true. Yeah. Your was it circadian rhythm is like, "Dude, it's time to wake up. It's fine." >> But I don't want to. Weren't we talking about how horny we are? >> We were. And then you went off. >> You dropped a bomb on us >> to be honest. Like I think we're we're still kind of shocked that you would do that cuz >> I didn't think that was that. >> We didn't even address like the true hygiene element. Like you ain't even washing your hands afterwards. >> Wait, you guys don't pee in weird places here and there. >> Yeah, but then we all would rinse after. Like if I were going to if I was going to pee in a shower or like I'm in the shower peeing with there's running water. >> Yeah, dry drain is a new that's a new
9:15 dry. >> That's the first one I've ever heard. >> Can you know the consequences of dry draining? >> Plus plus you're a homeowner >> and the smell and like you you smell it out. >> Aren't you a real estate guy? >> Yeah. And and you own the home you're doing it in. You're affecting your Zillow. >> And you have a wife, like a partner who uses the same shower. >> She yells at me. >> Yeah. >> But did she yell at you after all of the times or like only did she yell at you after the first time? >> She yelled at me the first time and then the other times I try to like either wake up before her so I can shower so she doesn't find out. It's, you know, because it's it's funny. It's really funny getting caught pissing where you're not supposed to. >> So he he's a ████ >> He's getting off on it, dude.
10:07 >> So So this is a horniness conversation >> cuz she doesn't even like it when I'm pissing. Now I'm in the mood. >> When I'm pissing outside, right? >> Oh, >> even where the dogs piss, which I don't >> She does that though. >> No, she doesn't. >> Didn't you go on a road trip? Is she like >> she h if she has to? >> Oh, road trip. Everybody's got like that. But then you had a bathroom in the trailer. >> But I would prefer it. So like if I'm like let's say I'm in the morning, if I walk my dogs out to go pee, if I feel like peeing too, I'll pee with them. >> We used to We used to live at the same and then the whole wall we would piss all over the walls. >> Dude, you're a sex offender, man. >> No, he's doing it in his own backyard. >> ████ this guy up. We got him. >> And then if the dogs come in and I didn't come in yet, J's like, "Did you pee outside again?" I'm like, "Yeah, >> you're the third dog. You're just the third dog, dude." >> He lifts his leg, kicks his sand.
10:58 >> You know how comfortable it is? >> Love for >> Does Ta do that, too? >> Yeah, he does. >> And you're like, "Where does he get it from?" >> Then I'll see I'll see uh So, Ta has chores now, right? I'll see him let the dogs out to go pee and then the two dogs come in first and then he comes after and I was like, "Ta, did you pee outside?" He goes, "Yes. You're basically dealing with yourself. >> I know. So, I can't I can't blame him for anything. >> But he knows you do that too as an adult. >> Yeah, he learned. Bro, >> when we do road trips, we're peeing on the same tree together. >> But does he know that you do it out of choice that you have amenities that you could use, but you forgo them to pee on a lawn? >> You could also hold it and be responsible. >> You have two bathrooms in your house. I think he realized how freeing it is and
11:49 he also >> uh Okay. He's an outdoorsman. But when you're a kid though, you there was a phase where once you learn about peeing outside, you're like, I'm going to pee outside. This is kind of sick. Yeah. >> Yeah. But like usually you grow up after that. >> But he's eight. Pike is eight. But I have no excuse for him. >> Saying usually you grow up after that. >> You don't like peeing outside? I pee outside sometimes. >> Not if my wife's going to get mad cuz I'm peeing like in the backyard or something. tried peeing while walking and you don't stop walking. >> No, that's crazy. I saw a bum do that. >> It's very difficult to do. >> I recommend trying. >> Really? You don't you don't pee on yourself? >> You could do it walking backwards. >> Yeah, that's much easier. >> Or sideways? >> Sideways is probably easier. You're strafing. >> Yeah.
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