0:00 and it's so convenient Crunch Wrap is everything yeah it's hard take the Crunch Wrap out of someone's life now I have to change my after sex [Music] food all right what's the worst the absolute worst food poisoning you've ever had in your life oh Taco Bell Taco Bell Taco Bell up so hard so hard I I haven't had it since really Taco Bell when you were when you were a teenager no like probably this was four years ago sh what was it the Mexican pizza or the chalupas it was after set I was so hungry after sex SE sex oh my God myad it was after sex and there's nothing I want just aot there's nothing I want more after sex than Taco Bell I understand that yeah but more of
0:51 a Dell Taco Guy me too yeah Del Taco you're the only one it was a Crunch Wrap Supreme okay ooh that's fire I ordered two of them oh wow cuz you were very hungry that day I was very hungry because I had a lot of sex yeah and the second the second one was slightly cold in the center but I was so hungry that I I was just like uhoh and then within maybe an hour or two the worst the worst what was so bad from both sides both ends all all three of them yeah yeah yeah all holes expelling everything from the ears too huh sweating fever all of it it was the worst yeah that's H and
1:41 you you will never go back I have not gone back W it's really sad cuz I at one point really love it's so convenient Crunch Wrap is everything yeah it's hard take the Crunch Wrap out of someone's life now I have to change my after sex food yeah to Del Taco supre yeah will you eat Del Taco though I don't like I I don't do fast food these days because what was your go-to other than Taco Bell other than Taco Bell Taco Bell was it yeah Taco Bell was it oh no mine was the El POA Loos that made you sick dude dud upo Locus never made me sick that's so sad I think it's also because um we got the food and we were filming JK news this was at the downtown LA office and we left the food out
2:32 so we didn't put it in the refrigerator some time went by and I was like oh I'm going to go eat that thing now and I didn't warm it back up I just straight pulled it out started eating it cold yeah and then when we went back like maybe an hour or two past you know time kind of just flies when you're talking and then something just started hurting and I was like what the ████ and I was like I I'm I'm just going to keep going and then like afterwards I was like oh I feel so like dizzy and then and so um I stepped out and it was funny Ricky shuck was there that day too so everyone kept going and I I had that tatami room and like a whole setup where I could sleep so I was just trying to like I don't want to puke and this is like the biggest lesson of like if you need a puke when you get a stomach thing you ████ puke or else it gets worse cuz that whole bacteria ████ just keeps
3:22 going and going and it infects all over commit to it yeah but then I was just trying to like gangster it out like I a't no ████ dude like my stomach get stronger than this and I was like let me just like maybe take a nap and I um I took like a 15minute nap and I woke up and I had a vomit and I went straight to the and then the whole day I was just like I had nothing else left still and then dude I think they were just waiting for me and then I just like we just got to keep shooting and then the whole time I was like ████ I don't even want to go home I was just ████ cuz you didn't want to be moved dude I you know when you just keep puking to where like you choke cuz you can't breathe yeah just like yeah and then so I was like ████ this so I got like pelo ████ ████ down that ████ Nature's healing y hell
4:13 yeah baby and I forc myself to vomit cuz it feels good to like get soda water in and just oh man that pretty bad yeah but I was gone for like a week if it was from po Loco that was left out is that just like confirmed salmonella right probably dud that's a pretty vicious thing triple sour cream it dude I don't know what it was trip sour cream please I couldn't ████ eat for a week though but then you're but that didn't leave you with the lingering feeling of like you can you still eat Poco I haven't ate I ate it once more again but I don't crave it anymore I ████ love El po Loca I used to eat it like a couple times a week but now I can't do it no more you're scared of it yeah he probably the chicken wasn't do their kitchen their chicken at all it's pretty black it's ████ done
5:04 dude it must be leaving it could have been the sides you know like who knows right like it and then it's probably my fault that I left it out I didn't eat it right away probably what it is leaving it out you know yeah damn cuz like you know how they say like you got to keep it at a certain temperature or else if it goes below bacteria grows or V whatever Grows Right sound yeah that's why you don't eat potato Sal if it's been out all day yeah I can do that think about it though you think about it do you guys go risky with food cuz I do I do now yeah get pretty risky I get pretty risky I just send it like if you had a leftover in your refrigerator right how long do you wait until you eat it cuz I would go like maybe a week I don't wait that long no I'll eat in a day or two I'll just Google what like the the end point is and then plus one day wow you're the guy
5:55 who throws away your your vitamins if they're expired one day huh no no no I'm saying plus one day in terms I'm just saying like you're the guy who throws away your vitamins like I just asked my wife hey babe this been here for like 5 days is it okay yeah just heated it I haven't I just go by smell yeah I go by smell o yeah if it smells like wrong then I throw it away if it looks like I shouldn't smell it I don't yeah that looks like the smell will make you s I'm like I don't need the smell to help I haven't thrown up since since 2001 wow oh what I've gone 20 24 years why you take pride in that like I never throw up yeah because I used to you didn't throw up when you running marathon you throw up one time npe I haven't thrown up in 24 years because I I used to have a phobia I had a phobia about it because I thrown up so
6:45 much prior to that that I was like scared of it and then the last time I got sick was from Lucille's barbecue and citos oh Lucille's got the bomb ass bread dude but you know what's funny is when I ate it I could taste almost like whatever lighter fluid they were using it tasted like they were just dousing the grill and it got on the food oh God cuz I could taste it and I was like why do I taste the ████ lighter fluid and then the next morning I was driving to cito's college and I got out of the car in a red light and I just started barfing everywhere on the street and then since then like I was like dude I I never I used the willpower thing where you're like don't ████ throw and I haven't barfed since 2001 cuz before that I used to get St fluid so what do you do you just you just like let it do its course and then you get diarrhea I also stopped being careful
7:36 about what I ate cuz cuz I I grew up with a bad stomach so I was always careful and then when I got to college I was eating more stuff and I was getting sick so then I was like no ████ this I'm just going to eat whatever now I can go to Philippines drink the straight up water and it doesn't do nothing to me what the ████ yeah my stomach's like mad strong that's how you do it iron stomach exposure therapy is a real thing for like stuff like that yeah that's true like I used to have a weak at stomach when I traveled yeah but then I think I traveled so much that yeah it helps yeah I don't get that anymore I eat street food I don't I don't ████ diarrhea nothing yeah cuz I used to be a i diarrhea I just willingly paid the price but do you know that that's going to happen yeah I don't avoid certain things like I like it's like going to Heidi Lao yeah and you're like I know how this is going to come out but I'm going in baby
8:27 we went to the oh I love that place yeah was it changu taste but that that to me is not like bacteria diarrhea though that's like that's like pain yeah I'm just saying like when you know your gut is going to hurt but you're like like King Taco you know you're going to King Taco you know it's going to come out a certain way you're going to be sitting on the can you're going to be like I'm paying still for the food and it's worth it throwing up is if I ever like threw up again I would be really ████ distraught by it why cuz you lost your streak I lost my streak cred so I oh go ahead go ahead sir so you're the old I'd like too one time if you remember yep dude the recent one was like four years ago this guy H this guy funny anyways
9:18 four years ago I took Sasha on a date and it was this ████ fancy ass restaurant so I was like okay it's fancy as ████ it should be good food they Sushi though but I walk around and I'm looking at it there's a bar and it looks not Japanese but Persian and I was just like why the ████ does this place have sushi it makes no sense I don't trust those weird fusions well that's what I'm saying that's what I was just like I was like whatever this is hella nice everyone dressed nice there's a reservation there's a hose I was like all right let me get two tuna you know Sushi it's just the rest in the tuna tuna comes out and I already smell it I'm just like oh it's a little fishy dude oh ████ it boom fish I dumped it no but good tuna don't smell like fish yeah he doesn't know that though he's too
10:08 cheap apparently I picture I know tuna more than you yo check it out man I eat it and it's super fishy and I was just like ████ it's okay I eat the second one so I don't waste money next day I'm on a walk I'm just like oh I got a fart the whole leg yeah sh tears tears out of my butthole tears tears it was a straight like crying moment like my ████ was crying was it pre- Labor Day were you wearing your white pants no I was wearing sweatpants my wife made me go on a walk and I was like I'm not feeling to outside when it happened oh no like a dog yeah I was walking and boom my leg got sweatpants no it was black lucky did you go immediately home or
10:58 what did you I was like uh B I think I totally shat myself she's like well go home so I go home I lay down water come out of my D dong next thing you know I got the fever and everything oh no yeah I was just like sickick it made me super sick did you ever check and see if you did infect shate yourself dude no usually when I know yeah especially if it came out of my butthole I just fold it up dump it in the laundry and uh what do you call wash it right away but I got super sick rinse it first yeah you got like you couldn't move bro I couldn't move and then you know what that's funny that my old ass roommate at that time lady J RP she came at she yeah yeah she died by stomach cancer she's the all vegetarian lady she she came up to me and said yo
11:48 just have a uh olive oil she just gave me a teaspoon of olive oil I was like what the ████ I'll try anything so I I I just did a teaspoon of olive oil bro I passed out woke up completely fine what I was tripping out shut the f what if what if she actually did something else in that it's not olive oil no no she's straight vegetarian she's been a vegetarian since she was 15 she just poured olive oil out she just said hey this is a simple trick the one who died of stomach cancer yeah that's why I would never bro bro that's the craziest part that's why remember earlier in the other prompts I would never believe a vegan and vegetarians anymore she's a vegetarian all her life and dies of stomach cancer bro you know what's you know what's crazy thing worked I was I was like literally just thinking about
12:39 that I was like how do you have stomach cancer and you're a vegetarian but she said 2019 she was forced to take the vaccine oh oh she she blamed it on the vaccine she blamed it on the vaccine cuz she was completely fine but she said after the vaccine she started feeling she knew like her stomach was not her inflation wasn't going down the vaccine didn't come out till like 2020 why is she taking it in 2019 the end of 2019 the co blah blah blah blah she said she took the vaccine and something happened but that's when I was like man I ain't ████ never worked vegetarian my [Laughter] ass I saw her on the last day I didn't know the covid-19 vaccine could give you stomach cancer stomach cancer takes a while to form that's ████ crazy well she passed away just December last December that fresh she passed away
13:29 December 25th Christmas why are you making us laugh about it I can't believe you even called her out what do you mean you made her the punchline J did you offer her olive oil lady Jay sounds like a superhero yo no that's crazy but no she did she gave me olive oil and then I dude I woke up completely fine I swear to God I woke up what the hell I had Taco Bell volcano nachos brother not kidding and that ████ remember that volcano menu I talk about volcano Nach dude that ████ broke out in hives in my hands I've never been allergic to anything what makes them different from regular nachos they're volcano nachos oh okay they got lava Cheetos ████ I don't know what the hell was in that ████ right but my hands swelled up and I had hives all over my arms and ████ like that I couldn't even go to work the next day and then it took me 3 days
14:20 everything cleared up but like I had like a severe allergic reaction and I had a fever and everything damn yeah yeah that s███'s weird I wonder what if you could only pinpoint what the ingredient was I did I have no idea cuz I remember look trying to look it up and I was like poly sorbate all ████ I was like whatever I'm ████ would you do it again just to see no no way imediately damn so I uh I had I used to get food poison lot I haven't had since uh 2000 actually haven't throw up since 2000 um 2000 I'm kidding he got your beat damn bro he beat my recking um I had food poison one time I was traveling to Korea with Mike I think we had Korean in barbecue and I ate like a raw piece of pork that just didn't finish cooking I it was my fault um and uh I remember we hated that host too
15:11 like the the host makes your entire trip by the way and this host was like cheaping out uh on like our gig and stuff and then was taking us to like our hotel we like had landed there like grabbed some food we were staying at like Mike's aunt's house for a couple days or something like that and then I I got sick right before we had to like do work and me up with this host and then uh I wasn't feeling good and then the host was taking us to our hotel and you know Korea has um especially in this whole they have like specific like alleys for like sex motels and they're the cheapest hotels that you can get they put you there so this guy booked us a sex motel and you know it's a sex Motel because each room has a different theme you're like there with handcuffs in a heart bed and you're like what the ████ is this so the first hotel room that I got uh or was given to me
16:03 right was this like space themed hotel room that had like a a moon circular bed and stuff like that and uh it sounds fun but like I actually complained about it cuz there were stains on that particular bed so I was like dude like I'm not sleeping on that and they moved into another room U but this time I started like sweating and like I wasn't feeling good and they gave me a Hollywood themed uh hotel room so there just a bunch of like random like movie like it's not even like movie posters it's like the it's it's just like a cone here and like a a light here and like whatever random stuff and Bricks um and then the way it was separated was like your bathroom your sink is here and there's like a glass panel and then there's a small bed very very small barely any room to put anything but I I ended up spending the next like 3 days straight just stuck in
16:53 this room I wasn't even healthy enough to go out or do anything at all and my entire relationship and this is like my second time in Korea ever but like the entire memory was just me and that toilet and you just bar both sides so it's either diarrhea or vomit and I'm just staying in there for like 3 days in a sex Motel myself oh my god dude that's where you got the cyst dog really turning on the people next to you hearing that or they might be like damn they're ████ hard over there oh they're into vomit play over there bud it was crazy oh my 3 days so how did you puke while you were ████ not while you're just doing both but there are moments there are moments where you like vomit and you think you're done you're like flush to oh ████ and you're like my when you left though
17:45 would you look in the mirror and go I look fresh dude I lost like 40 lbs to be completely honest I like kept on joking around about this because there was I remember getting like food poisoning more than like some of my other homies and every single time I'd be like 10 lb lighter so so it always be like dude it's kind of the sickest diet plan 10 lb in 3 days is lit how often were you getting food poisoning is it CU you were traveling and you're just eating Cra Crazy ████ yeah you're just yeah you're just doing like you're constantly your your immune system is already ████ thinking of food makes you want to throw up that's the worst thing so you'll be like sick and then like four or five months later you're at another country eating sturgeon and ████ yeah and then somebody's looking at you you're like dude don't drink that water and you're like what oh oh man just craziest stuff all the time do you think I was also really adventurous with eating I was
18:35 always down to eat like crazy like I'll eat BG like whales and ████ hell no Croc he's had Croc steaks whale steak chicken and beef spam only crazy can't go wrong Witham yeah but do you think now you have a stronger stomach like you could travel you got that travel stomach you could ████ eat whatevers I think I'm stronger in general than most people around me but like I I am not Invincible like things will happen or can happen and then I will pay the price but I also like know that I'll survive it so I'm like bring it on yeah cool Fair still I'm still willing to try stuff especially if I'm in an exotic place you know shame to travel and not eat the I ate ████ Donuts that have bees and flies all over it I ate ████ things
19:26 no Mexico I ate ████ up like street food where there's no sinks and it's like how the ████ is he prepping the food with those hands doesn't matter right but what ████ me up was I went to the Marriott and I got grilled shrimp grilled butter shrimp and that ████ ████ me and Hannah both up dude we were ████ ████ it was were ████ both you and Anna yeah how' you guys do it in the shower huh like if you guys were both ████ up is there two toilets thank God we never had a ████ at this same time but they're not on the exact same cycle dude so you got they both ████ them up so same no but it was literally like she's running in there and then all of a sudden I'm running in there and it's like back and forth alternating dude so who had the fastest metabolism that was the question
20:17 ████ I don't know but we were both ████ our guts out and we were living in a studio at the time so it was just one room with one bathroom from the butter shrimp so you SM that ████ at the Marriott hotel but also being so like conditioned to knowing that that could happen and then after that just always traveling with charcoal pills or having like uh just knowing your diet of just water saltine crackers maybe seven up when you start getting better and a banana to get yourself better like that ████ just became a regular experience it it's crazy but you know you'll balance back and then you know you'll just be a little bit sexier and skinnier afterwards so ████ yeah that's a good thing I be so sad cuz I'm like I love traveling and eating at in in the different countries and you just got to eat crackers now you can't even eat at Marriott yeah wor
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