0:00 [Music] how rich is real rich right jeff jeff bezos is rich is real ████ right i like your rapping how rich real rich right rich rich right all right thank you damn all right so a historic bridge is to be dismantled so jeff bezos's half a billion dollar yacht can get through the super yacht holy ████ that's crazy that's power that's power the government where's the bridge it's about drive it's about power so oh my bad i just wanted my own head for something no that was good so this is actually in uh the netherlands wow what did the netherlanders think uh they're they're cool with that they're like yeah go ahead like we'll swim jeff it's fine we love amazon amazon's great thank you i thought all
0:51 of them didn't like um rich rich people like i thought europe was like nah yeah because isn't that where amsterdam is yeah well they're definitely building the largest private yacht ever out there it's 417 feet oh they're building it oh they're boat people they're boat people i don't know about all of them yeah they're the dutch i like that stereotype they're all broken they're both people and hookers dude have you seen their their their clocks from the viking days yeah don't you know don chano you guys never heard of the ████ dutchies a dutch easter is that the one they're building or is that jeff bezos boat is it the biggest one that's a yacht dude that looks like a ████ ████ that was like a ████ yeah it's a cruise ship paul allen used to have the biggest yacht and then all these billionaires were like pissed because paul allen had the big yacht and they're all trying to get the biggest yacht then paul island dies and then yeah i think bez is going to
1:42 have the biggest yacht when when it's completed it'll be considered the biggest sailing yacht in the world which is no doubt an exciting prospect for a former amazon boss but it's uh pretty much the he names it y721 i don't know why uh it's being built at the oceano shipyard in al blassardam in the netherlands and in order to get out to sea it needs to pass under the historic historic conan bridge in rotterdam also known as de hiff according to dutch publication regine monde the local council had pledged never to dismantle the iconic bridge again after it was renovated in 2017. he did this 2017 we'll never do this again except for jeff bezos so he's he's gonna pay for them to he'll build him a new one yes he is going to foot the bill
2:33 because he really wants that boat uh and he obviously has the money to do so but what if it's like s█████ it's just like cardboard with amazon package tape that's like because he's free he does an amazon basics bridge it says it on there it says historic basic spread you guys ever ordered like a um like contracting work on amazon you could contract the work they'll build your ████ bed they'll build your oh when you order the product and then you pay the extra fee i see what you mean they'll come to your house and build that ship that's tight yeah that makes sense though that makes sense let's start but you meant like asking for like a contract you're like like a house or some ████ i'm pretty sure it'll start to get amazon just like mexican workers yeah you get to choose quantity five exclude russians you have like a whole race list the russians do work pretty hard though
3:23 ████ yeah my ac guy my hvac guy used to be a russian dude that guy non-stop he would tell me about how my air conditioner sucks and how i need to get a new one and he and he would climb up on the ████ roof himself because sabotage it to make sure you get a new one well the ladder was always the ladder was always blocked off because it yet the hoa has to open it so he would always just climb over the all the steel he was a badass dude he didn't give a ████ he's like carrying equipment on his back damn i was like dude if you fall i'm just walking away but i'm just walking away it's your property i'm not rushing you just step over him every day while he's dead hey hey i didn't i don't know who he is did i show the uh the bridge yet here let me show you a photo of the bridge yeah when you got money you could do whatever the ████ you i wonder what this bridge looks like what if it just sucks what if it's such so it's this still historic wow wow it can't fit in there
4:15 oh that's so great i think it's the ████ the height i think it ends up being the height or something like that you can't fit through there he couldn't yeah he's gonna get his uh yacht built in another dude you know he's like he's like make it bigger and then they're like what he's like make it ████ they're like it won't fit through that i don't want it i'll i'll fix the bridge i'll give a ████ yeah it's probably because it's impo it's employing so many people to work on that yacht that everyone's like yeah we want the jobs what would you guys do if you're jeff bezos right now you're jeff bezos tonight what do you do i'd feed the world oh for ████ you weren't expecting that right that kind of threw me off i'm not gonna lie i was like everyone gets a ████ cheeseburger man soda yeah all right we're going to start with the soda soda what brand their choice oh okay see because i make it about them what if they're my wife like
5:06 i don't drink soda amazon's choice soda i think everyone should enjoy what americans get to enjoy free refills that's a very american thing right so i'm gonna open up that to the world okay and it's it's from the fountain and it's from that machine that you can ████ choose i want orange coke i want yeah that's great the one at boston market yeah but i'm gonna add it with every drink of the world you got ████ ████ fanta and ████ and all kinds of cool ████ that's gonna already happen in the world it already has that really yeah i never drink phantoms that's why we love them i thought phantom was a ████ south american i had like a ago fresca or something like that yeah all right whatever you want man whatever you want you know calculus vote for this guy
5:56 whatever you want we're gonna do that whatever you want man you get a soda machine we're gonna get the ████ chinese yogurt drink oh those are delicious yeah is there gonna be yakult there's gonna be probiotic yaakov yeah what about some barbell brigades steve's like what the ████ is this horchata barbell brigade what about julia what about julia marcha whatever you want use your dragon fruit how are you gonna pay for this whatever you want i've been waiting for this guy to get rich for so ████ long and to find out that all he's gonna do is give me free soda is like the biggest bummer of my life i think it's it's a 10 course meal though it just starts with us what's the appetizer what's the appetizer with the soda because you have to pair it with something wow the first is going to be a cobb salad i'm not hungry
6:46 salad a ████ cough salad with soda that's a lot of ingredients for mass production even the natives in the amazon you can start with the everybody gets a cop style you just get a ████ is that is that why is that american i'm gonna make it a cabbage cobb salad just a little bit different it's just a quarter cabbage cobb salad in that with soy sauce it's ████ bomb on my belief in this politician all right what's round three yeah all right pepperoni pizza for everybody [Applause] [Music] i was trying to heal the world the mongolians everybody new guinea everyone pepperoni what about low-key that is the that's you can't have that yeah uh uh i'll make a chicken pepperoni for them yeah flatbread it's it's yeah with not me with naan oh can you imagine that
7:36 a non-pepperoni pizza that would be delicious he's so mad guys jeff basil's he's making non-pepperoni [Laughter] chicken chicken pepperoni garlic naan pepperoni oh what about lavash wraps for everybody it's all he's only doing fusion food why why so much fusion no what pisses me off is he could just do this right now you just go ████ make a call like not pepperoni pizza right now yeah well but he's using his jet based off no man feed it though for the feed what would you rather have joe do send like 20 missiles to the moon and try to blow it up yeah dude take a picture of his ████ dick and then have it made into a ████ statue and he buys like long island harbor and he puts his ████ statue of his dick or something that's a very steep green japanese that's just where i start okay i'm feeding the world without the dick projection part steve what would you do with jeff bezos's money i would just make donuts
8:29 and feed the world uh you know glazed donuts the most boring donut no no no strawberry but what if someone's allergic to strawberry that's right glaze is good yeah you think what about lactose glaze is good that's your campaign slogan glaze is good jitsukawa 2024. running for jeff bezos vote for me when i was a kid my mom would talk about when we win the lottery because that was basically how they invested anything they were like well you know we're going to win the lottery when we hit the bottom that's what we're investing they play every day oh yeah played every week yeah my ground played every day and when we win the lottery we're gonna have a taco bell in our house so for me i'm like dude having a taco bell in my ████ house that'd be tight jeff bezos ████ would you do a cantina i would do it absolutely a cantina have you been to taco bell cantina i've never been i
9:19 haven't been no i heard it's great sounds good though it sounds like a great idea is it like a set down restaurant with margaritas you can get married there even oh yeah yeah it would be a really cool thing to do basil's every week you would resurrect a dead restaurant if you said person yes what's the first one when you would resurrect soup plantation you already know dude i was so sad with you i think i'm more destructive i would want to create natural disasters that aren't native to that area what is it sim city he wants to be sim city yeah yeah dude that's a that's a marvel vlog i'll bring like earthquakes to new york or some ████ or like ████ kano's in las vegas you do know that this is another version of genocide right so we can share an experience so if they could relate to people on night the east and the west coast together okay that's pretty cool i don't
10:09 i don't know if that's the way but you know i command you why you never thought what a tornado feels like that's true cool if i ever see a tornado in hawaii i'll be like ████ bark got rich [Laughter] yeah i didn't know that jeff bezels can buy volcanoes in vegas no you make them there's one at the mirage duh anthony guys come on guys you just make them that's like a kid make them like we did in science fair those were cool or the onion ring ones at benihana's oh yeah yeah you know how to make them too you put a bigger giant onion ring it's a picture it's not even a real volcano just like but it's so destructive what do you do if you're jeff bezos gilbert dude i don't know if i honestly want to appoint these two guys i just want to see what happens that's true because i'd be too like death in life very quickly yeah i like natural disasters like crazy okay
11:01 so would you guys combine ideas there you guys are good friends well at the same time right you get a guy floating in an air with a non-f██████ pepperoni pizza he's been spitting in a tornado yeah yeah so he doesn't get to eat though okay number one top natural disaster go tsunami tsunami wow that's so japanese oh god he regretted after he said he was like number one tokyo tsunamis there's tsunami videos and then people go up and because there's like the water gets drawn out so then p the tourists go up and they're like oh look you can see all the coral and they're like get out of there you stupid son of a ████ and then they're like hey look it's a starfish and then they're going oh there's a tsunami and then they're trying to run and joe's like he runs towards it oh tsunamis i think i like sinkholes
11:54 you guys sound like two kindergarteners i think i got a thing called though that's pretty cool right really like unexpected mascot that's why they're best friends [Music] you
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