0:00 I don't see a point of me even trying to convert or nothing, you know? Yeah, but you could start working with banks and stuff. We could bring you in, but you playing. My son Jewish, so at the end of the day, it's just like, "Hey, I'm here to I'm here with you guys regardless." So, I don't I don't think I want to chop it off, you know what I mean? >> You should probably do it on on this podcast. Did you guys have [Music] This video's called Jewish and uncircumcised? Straight to it. Do it. Hello. You want to talk You want to >> Hello. You want to talk about that? You want to talk about that? >> Yeah, how? Why? How? More how than why? Or why? Yes. >> Why you want to do it, Mike? What the hell? You're not into fitness. I'm not into microphone. It is cuz his
0:50 chest popped out so hard his microphone fell off. >> Sorry, editors. I guess you have to do a little bit of work, huh? Hey, honestly, Bart is into fitness. Fitness dick in his mouth. Ayo. Hey, ████ Let it live. Tell me Tell me. Tell me in the ass. That's really funny. So So So how the hell did that happen? Well, it really didn't happen, you know? That's true. >> Yeah, good point. >> It's why didn't it happen? Yes. So >> Yeah, you didn't have like 80 rabbis around you while you're getting your like skin cut off. >> his son did. So, his son's more Jewish than you? His son is Jewish. I mean, oh. Well, uh you know what I'm saying? Shalom. Shalom. Um So, I was born in the Soviet Union and came here when I was 7 years old. In the Soviet Union What city? What city? Moscow. Uh it's it's gay to touch dicks
1:41 over there. That makes It's gay over here, too. >> I am not touching. That is gay. I feel like that's the end of the video. That explains all of it. Yeah, it's illegal. >> Why do you want me to that's gay? Yes. We're allowed to say gay now on YouTube? >> Yeah, we can say Bart, what are we to say on here? Just go go down the list. >> Gay, ████ um that's it. ████ ████ guinea, bridge Well, those aren't real racial slurs. They were in like the 1600s or some ████ I don't know. In like cowboy times. We say ████ We can. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you guys want to say it, go ahead. What about you? If you guys want to. Huh? I can I can't say it. I can yell it, though. Tell you that. >> Oh, yeah. It's a volume thing. Hell yeah. You won't say ████ You'll say ████ though. I heard you say ████ >> I say ████ ████ ████ monster. Yeah, that's fine. ████ soup? I believe
2:31 that's one of Jared's favorite adult films. Yeah. ████ monster. All right. So, she just keeps eating. So, back to gay Russians. >> Yes. Yeah. >> Me in specific. So, in Russia, it wasn't like religion wasn't super legal and the communists tolerated Orthodox Christianity because there was too many Orthodox Christians. But the Jews really like were not so loved. And so, you don't really talk about being Jewish even though with my last name, it was apparent. One of the reasons we left. Which is Israel's uh the ist? >> And that's close enough. Okay. Israelist? >> Yeah, it's Mike Israel. It No, it's some It's like longer than that, though. >> Israelitel. Israelitel, thank you. Israelist is crazy. >> I didn't I was I genuinely You were getting there. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. I don't have any attachment to my name whatsoever. Um and so, I was not circumcised upon birth
3:21 or whatever the hell Jews do it. The whatever the ████ that the I don't even know. >> The bris. >> Yeah, the bris. He knows. And yes, my man. And so, by the time I got to the United States um and we were sort of welcomed into the Jewish community um I had absolutely zero interest in getting my dick cut off. And uh that >> we're in a full-grown kid. ████ Isn't it the rule you're not like full on until you do that? That becomes the the key to becoming a part of the group. >> Even though Ryan may got it at age 13. Look up that video. >> Usually, yeah. Well, cuz that's what he told me. I was like, "Hey, are you going to join the club now?" And he goes, "I have to get circumcised." Really? Oh, you got to get circumcised, too? It's like It's like a You going to go under? >> It's like an official thing. It's like an official thing to do, you know what I'm saying? But I I I I told my wife like I don't I don't see a point of me even trying to convert or nothing, you
4:11 know? >> Yeah, but you could start working with banks and stuff. >> matter. I mean Oh. We could bring you in, but you playing. But regardless You could You could own a film studio right away. >> You ever been in a movie? You ever met a famous person? You ever been to Epstein's Island? Being a Jew is inside here, man. I think regardless, I support it. I'm with it. I'm for it. I'm behind it. Yeah, ████ That makes one of us, you feel me? My son My son's, you know, my son Jewish, so at the end of the day, it's just like, "Hey, I'm here to I'm here with you guys regardless." So, I don't I don't think I want to chop it off, you know what I mean? I don't want to I just dealing with the pain of it. It was just like >> Real Real talk, though. What's more You should probably do it on on this podcast, anyways. Did you guys have to hide like your Jewish background and everything, right? So, even in in Soviet Russia, like you guys couldn't practice the culture, any of that stuff, the religion? Was it like
5:02 You said it was kind of illegal. So, the Jewish community there all just was like, "We're going to do this on a high >> Highly frowned upon. Yeah. So, it's not you you won't get in trouble like, "Okay, you're going to jail for Oh, no. You could go to jail for anything. Oh. >> The government arbitrarily decides that you're going to jail. And the anti-Semitism was really intense. So, people would mock you to your face at work. They wouldn't promote you, ████ like that. Yeah. My preschool teachers would make fun of me even though I was like four or five for my last name. >> So, you remember like all the stuff that happened be before you're seven and Probably not all the stuff, but enough. I remember enough that it was a very unwelcoming environment. >> Oh. But was there like a Jewish community that still practiced the religion like underground and did all that stuff? >> Maybe. We did We were not familiar with them. Yeah, there was like synagogues and stuff, but you had to really go out of your way and then shut the ████ up about it, basically. It was like super underground. >> go underground probably cuz we seen Jews coming out of the ground in like New York and stuff.
5:52 >> Yeah. Do you know how many jokes I have to follow up with that that would get me canceled, sir? Just try one. Just try one. Give us one. Give us one. Look at the tip. People are going to clip me out of context and >> tip. Your birth certificate, you ever seen your Russian like birth certificate? I don't know if they gave birth certificates out in Russia. And I'm not saying I don't have one. I just don't know that it was a document that you got. Um I used to have a Russian passport, but when we left Russia, they tore our passports up. How'd you guys escape or or leave? We got an asylum status from President George Herbert Walker Bush, Bush 1. Um because they were doing like uh basically, they were like trying to hurt Jews in the streets in the late '80s and early '90s in Russia. >> So, you guys are forever die-hard Bush fans. My My parents My dad says we owe George Bush our lives. And my dad is like more of a hardcore Trump-supporting
6:44 Republican than every other Trump-supporting Republican you'll ever meet. He's like tier one. Cuz usually, the they don't really get along, the Bushes and the Trumps. Uh yeah, to my dad, it's all big-tent Republicans. We're the right people and the leftists are bad and evil. Once you go through communism, you don't tend to deal with like people on the political left. >> I noticed that like Cubans are super right-wing, Vietnamese The The Viet like you get somebody's Vietnamese dad and you say anything about Mao Zedong, he'll stab you with a ████ pen. My parents are saying we had George Bush on our ████ wall. Really? Wow. >> H.W.? No, actually W. Bush. Yeah. And I I remember being like, "What? What is that?" And then when I when I got it explained in a way that was like uh both I understood but also beyond my understanding. It's like, "Yo, like they wanted to help us during the war and then one Democrat of the Democratic
7:34 Party didn't." And it's like that was a huge thing. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that. I was like, "Okay, that's All right, that's good." >> You're Vietnamese? My parents are uh yes. So, Jared over here is really looking at you for I've been looking at you the whole time, you know. He's been looking at his lips and honestly, I've been avoiding eye contact cuz I wanted to. Yeah. Not a denial. Just like last night at the club. >> Nothing a cold shower can't fix. Coming out 2026. All right. Yeah, my grandpa killed killed hella his his ancestors and all that stuff. And he's probably proud of it, too. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You and me both, dude. Could couldn't couldn't. The Japanese have never met another Asian peoples they didn't look down upon. Really? That's a thing? But we get to play both cards if we're America cuz I could be victim here cuz we went through ████ here. But then I could also play like you know ████ them. I was colonist, too,
8:24 you know? It's like you could play both sides. >> As long as you continue apologizing to Korea. I already did, but Koreans always forget that we did. And then Koreans go, "You never say sorry." And I'm like, "I did, dude." But then I could also play the American card like, "Oh, well, we were on American side or we didn't we didn't do nothing." When you first got to America, what was the biggest culture shock for you? Hamburgers. Oh man, how long do we have? So Your like food story is pretty dope. Food story is pretty dope. >> Yeah. Food what? >> So, food story. So, sto- story. So, in uh in the Soviet system, food was not as um available. And so, bananas would appear twice a year. We bought as many as we could. We put them everywhere in our house, so they were completely tiny and green, and they would ripen over a period of time, and then we would eat them. >> Wow. And they were completely exotic. It was like being in the tropics or something. And you would buy them at a supermarket or you would like We didn't
9:15 have supermarkets. We had government stores. All stores were owned by the government. >> But it was more fair. It was an absolutely not fair because only the elite got to shop at their their own stores that were way better. But equally, elites got to shop together. I guess. Yes. Yes. Yes. Very emotionally fair. Yes. Um But the It's like It's like describing like the whites-only fountains in Alabama. So, what's fair for whites? All the whites drank from it. Sure. Yeah. I never had any problem with the water fountain. Right, exactly. Yeah. Quote, white person. Yeah. Um so, like a typical uh grocery store in uh Soviet Russia was like I remember I have literally this memory of most of the shelves being empty. It was just normal. Just normal. Like Like you guys remember during COVID, like you walk into the toilet paper area, it was like that but for everything kind of all the time. >> fridge through my childhood. Uh Jared's
10:05 fridge in his childhood. You can keep going. Uh yes. And then we showed up to an American So we actually Here's my my story of like how it went. I We We showed up and the people in the American Jewish community welcomed us with open arms. And they actually had gotten like an apartment for us and filled our fridge full of food, which I thought I was like, "Why are people so nice? This is crazy." So culture shock number one and it never wore off. Americans are so ████ nice. So nice. Russians, you all are great, but Russians are mean ████ people, bro. And I'm Russian. I'm ████ mean. I will say Raiders fans are not that nice. But are they really human? Or American? So um like orcs, basically. Oh, it's a Raider. Um so basically they brought us over to that apartment and I remember getting uh they gave me a hot dog. And the hot dog tasted like it had
10:56 spices in it. And I was like, "This is so different than our hot dogs in Russia." It was so exotic. It was an exotic-tasting hot dog. And I was like in a dream world. Like a Oscar Mayer like a Costco dog or Like the s████████ basic like wiener just just nothing special about it. What's a Russian hot dog then? I don't like Russian food. What? Oh, you've had it? Uh no. From where? But you've never had communist food before. Yeah, it's Like imagine Korean food served in North Korea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> That's not the same ████ It's an empty bowl. You probably get 30 grains of rice. >> Dude, 100%. If you're elite, yeah. Um so basically the everything tasted unbelievable. There was entire food groups we had no idea existed. Like we didn't have anything comparable to like Yoplait yogurts and stuff. There was a whole aisle of them. I was like, "What the ████ is this?" And they're like, "Oh, it's kind of like vodorok which is
11:47 like a Russian yogurt, but we had one and we made it ourselves. It was not available at the store. Um you had to just take milk and strain it." I don't know my parents cheap yogurt but worse. Oh, way worse. >> Yeah, ████ that. >> And so um there was that stuff. We didn't have peanut butter in Russia as far as I I've never Sure shouldn't have bought it in Russia. And so peanut butter was the most exotic thing. I had those the bananas uh thing happened and bananas were like you functionally like free in the United States. They're still like >> And they're super cheap. >> Like Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like they basically cost almost no money. And you can get them at 7-Eleven. >> In the Right. In the first week I was here I ate so many bananas that I permanently I do not like bananas anymore. If I eat them, it's out of Like I just literally just like >> My buddy did that to me with Cool Ranch Doritos, dude. That sucks, bro. >> He ate too many next to me and it smelled so ████ nuts. >> So bad. Secondhand Cool Ranch Dorito breath is the worst thing in the And the
12:39 crumbly on the Nintendo controllers. Awful. Hey, let me get the player two controller. Just kidding. But how you feel about salsa verde though? Oh, I love salsa verde, bro. I like Cool Ranch, too, though. Cooler Ranch is so But you're dude, the Cooler Ranch breath I remember like kids in elementary school eat the Cool Ranch chips and had the ████ um the the the Hi-C green ████ >> Yeah, brother. punch Ecto Cooler and I was like I remember thinking even at that age I was like, "Man, that Is that really food though?" >> I don't even know what the hell is. That's how I know you're not his dad, ████ cuz Ecto Cooler was our generation. He didn't have any, my man. We covered the We We covered ti- No, I said the other kids at school. I never got Ecto Cooler. I don't know, brother. Hey kid, did you pack your lunch? Pow. Ecto Cooler. ████ over there, ████ What's the number one thing you genuinely miss about communism?
13:29 Oh, no, easy. The latent fear that everything could be taken away from you at any time. It makes you grateful. >> Yeah. Gives you permanent anxiety. >> Well, that's crazy. >> You ungrateful bastard. Yeah. In America, it doesn't matter. You can say ████ Donald Trump, nobody cares. You can say ████ Joe Biden, nobody cares. It It makes you careless. In Russia, you eat everything with care. Dude, I remember one time my parents told my sister and I like randomly like how much money we had because there's no credit back then. So it was just amount of money we had and we could either have all the money we had or we could buy a car. It was one of the other, right? So we did not own a car. Most people didn't own cars cuz you had to be exotically ████ rich to own a car. And so I remember that. It was 18,000 rubles which is the Russian dollar or whatever. And I remember saying that in an elevator with other people around. My parents pulled me aside afterwards like, "Misha, you can never ever ever talk about how much money we have." And I was like, "Why?" And they explained to me that if
14:19 somebody gets jealous how much money you have, they report you to the KGB and if there just happens to be an agent working there that's cool with the ████ they just take you away and you never come back. Wow. And for that you were grateful and that's beautiful. >> Mindfulness. I was just such a like a I was such a complete person karmically even as a child that I was like, "This is going to make me stronger." Like I'm just not going to let it like tear me down. I had like a vlog, YouTube channel, huge And look at you Look how strong you are now. Cuz when I went back in time from running, I gave him some some electronics. I'm on you, brother. I'm on you. Jared was like, "Hey kid, I got only one lesson for you. You're going to want to start streaming." Streaming's the future, you little ████ And he hit me in the ████ face. With the ring. Now like him. Oh, yeah. And I was like trying to read I didn't know how to read English or how to read, but I deciphered that it said uh Curryville Regional High School
15:09 two-time state national champs. Yeah. on my Yep, that's exactly what it said. Still there. Still there. And I don't want any such ████ Yeah.
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