0:00 what up guys for this week only Black Friday week 100 random orders is going to get a postcard with our signed names Nam signatures signed we signed it personally the ████ you get a careful boys postcard that's started by all of us yeah if you buy the merch yes I try to be Christian too my aunt bought me this cross it's a gold not a cross necklace and during that time when I was going there I put it on and I got a fever I took it no way what the maybe you're evil maybe you're [Music] evil welcome back to an awesome episode of the C boys where today we have jard de gozman with us wow comedian
0:50 extraordinaire welcome to the show hey let's talk about the state of Comedy you know like who do you like who do you not like are there any Trends who's the gayest Taiwanese you know like the gayest comedian I know and and his name starts with a J maybe last name with a c man Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior dude you guys didn't know that dude Taiwanese Jesus Taiwan Taiwan do you think when Jesus comes back this time he will give a little bit of love to other areas like Latin America or like maybe cuz you know it all happen in the Middle East I don't know if he'll come back you think he'll come back Jewish he's going to come back in Mexico like that's where he shows up well there's hella Jesus is there true what
1:41 about that big statue in Brazil yeah that's what I'm saying is Mex has more candles smaller one in Portugal though like do you think people believe it though do you think they would accept that like if he comes back and he's like he's got to really prove something he's got to do something real cool this is a way better conversation than like what's the state of Comedy let's talk about where Jesus is going to he's going to come back which Latin American country he's coming back I don't think he's coming to America I'll tell you yeah what if he came back as a shanin do you think people would accept it though do you think people would just the people like be like well well like like in the stories he was a Jewish man he's got to prove it no matter what well you know the weird thing I never understood is that like doesn't the the Bible itself almost sounds like there's no way that he can come back because it says that like n hit me back bro that's the devil speaking my
2:31 it says no one will expect it but we're always cuz he's shr lanan but we're always thinking about it so doesn't that mean every person has to stop thinking at the same time I think I think that he's going to come back if no one expects it he comes back at Planned Parenthood someone's trying to get rid of a baby and then the baby's like you going to get rid of me I'm Jesus and she's I don't know how I got pregnant I don't know how I got pregnant I was just finger banging and you came out and then cuz you you have to a real art Theory I just want to know how what do you mean this is you really think this is the new New Testament have you read the nnt like a thief in the night o in the night like a thief in the he's going to appear wait but I thought I thought he ain't actually coming back no more I think I think he's coming back as a as a as a like when it's the when it's the
3:21 Rapture after after the world end he supposed to come back after the Rapture yeah that's that's was the do believe in the Rapture like the in the ation you know like everybody everybody go to ████ the Armageddon happens and then he comes back and then uh he says yo Heaven time bro I always thought that was really I told you he's chill you hear that you hear that Jes he's chill he is pretty chill they were like saying like don't when when we've all learned that like uh he's going to come me when no one's expecting it and then like PE other kids would be like oh I hope Jesus comes back we be like stop saying that not going to come back he's not going to say he's not going to come back saying that you got to play hard to get J is not going to come back like that we just all have to be like you know what I don't even care if Jesus shows up you'll have to do that I would
4:11 I would even look twice if he came yeah but then the P the priest is like hey but Jesus knows your heart knows your the inside of your thoughts you know there's no way around it yeah you got to you got to mean it hey but if if you were if we were Jewish though they're like the Messiah hasn't even came back came yet so it's not even a comeback so that's the thing if you're Jewish you just wait you're still waiting you're still waiting if you're Jewish you're still waiting how do they know what to wait for then cuz they're no no cuz cuz for the Christians Jesus was the Messiah and he's the one that came but then for Jewish people they're like he's just a nah dude I mean he's a dude but he ain't the Messiah dude that's that's the difference so they're waiting for they're still waiting for their Jesus it might not be Jesus it might be like Nathaniel or something yeah sounds it might be some it might be another dude yeah that they're waiting
5:01 for my understanding when I cuz I just I just started reading everything it was like they were expecting it to be like a soldier you know I mean the guy to come back was going to be like some big strong Warrior cuz they were have the Romans attacking them and or not attacking them but they were like tax collectors and stuff so they thought all right we're going to get a savior that's going to come in and like save us from this but then Jesus came and he was more of like a chill humble like surf surf always catching away Slack in Judaism they think that their Messiah is supposed to be like a warri I don't know see I don't quote me cuz I'm the worst at this like I go to church and stuff and people ask me questions about the Bible and I'm like I I don't know I don't know anything either but like I think it was when he came in they weren't expecting that they're expecting Like a Warrior dude but he came in and Tau more like forgiveness and they're
5:51 like man this Bo a woke ass ████ he's pretty chill man all the soldiers were looking for him he did he did eventually he did command the attention of the entire fleet basically maybe he fought with love he started out he would say like he would do some like Miracle things like don't tell anybody yeah don't tell anybody I did that somebody was snitching yeah yeah that was like hey how'd you make that blind guy see again he goes just use a little mud you're like ████ well okay I spit on it too he was a plant how'd you make all that bread and then eventually think words start spreading around doing a bunch of he's doing too many miracles you know you got he got carried away what do you think which which miracle like you think got him popped this one right here consistency consist that Miracle went viral dude like water and the wine
6:41 if that if that could happen today you'd be like I think capitalist Mogul I think the coming back to life is probably a pretty big one coming back to life that's hate the forand they're trying to hate on a shine you didn't do that you didn't do that was asleep CHR do what if what if he was just a sick ass magician and he played the long game cuz when you go to India you got those dudes that levitate with the cane and ████ and then dude say long game are you saying like everybody's still waiting for like the last trick no I mean the LA the LA the final trick was the was the coming back to life you know cuz it was like people thought he died but then like he planned it all along I me saw him die so that's pretty impressive
7:32 that's what they think they saw that's what they think but that was his body double he just thought briefing but it's like the prestige he's always had a twin dude is that the reveal which is why he's coming back to Latin America MH that would be crazy to be Jesus's twin like just chilling and then like just wait yeah and it's like all right then when he's gone he's like what do I do now damn I'm out of a gig that was the job I was living for feating the multitude had to be pretty a tough one to pull off too if he was a magician that's crazy is it the one loaf of bread he fed a th000 people that kind of bread in the fish and he multiplied it and fed thousands of people see that's and nobody nobody went and looked at the thing that was hot that was hot that was hot man that was a hot Drop dud that's some Mr Beast level stuff huh that's probably just bread and then like you just pour water on and the bread grows
8:23 bigger oh yeah it's just like that you just take he he probably had like a bag of croutons yeah and he just sprinkles they exaggerated in the it's tin he just sliced up hell of this just sliced this hell time he just put some water on it he's the first guy to know how to filet fish perfectly so it's like Sashimi for everyone they were just biting it like this before him eat a whole fish it wasn't like a fish they didn't have a different word for a whale look at this fish it's all they're all just getting blubbered they're like e hey the walking on water was pretty that's how do you do that one huh huh magician he was on a sand bar that's that's probably that's exactly what happened probably people don't know about how did he cure leprosy then he was walking on Coral and ████ damaging The Reef leprosy didn't have a have a
9:14 cure how did he do that one he discovered vaccines what he developed the first Mna he was being lobbied by big Pharma back then I like how this started out with who's your favorite gayi who's your favorite Jesus Jesus was lobbied by big Pharma we're weaving we're just weaving right now doing the did everyone here grow up Christian kind of did you guys yeah we we grew up severely Christian hardcore Catholic and then I left for like 10 years oh you're you're Catholic I grew up Catholic and Catholic School kindergarten through Protestant senior of high school no like non- denominational it's just like I don't even really know it's just like are you mosaic I haven't I think non denominational is Protestant like no
10:04 like it's either you're Catholic or Protestant and everything other is Protestant yeah today's video is brought to you by Uncommon Goods spark something uncommon this holiday with just the right gift from Uncommon Goods so every single time when Christmas comes around you know what I don't want to be just like everybody else Bing I don't want to show up to a white elephant and be like you brought that blender and you brought the same blender why how you going to bring the same blender lame be interesting so I teamed up with Uncommon Goods to help you guys not be so lame check this out imagine you guys do a Christmas exchange but then you get these awesome shortbread cookies and you get your own print you can say anything you want you could be like hey we're getting a divorce whatever I don't care
10:55 imagine the faces on your family when they get the custom cookies and they say yeah say careful boys just kidding news fear everyone you can get to cookies I mean they have things like this like a make at home churro kit and imagine you do this and then your nephew's like Uncle can you make Charles with me dude best uncle in the world so this Christmas don't Be a layo get some Uncommon Goods and be the most unique Life of the Party to get 15% off your next gift go to uncommongoods.com sloff theer that's uncommon goods.com sloff thee for 15% off don't miss out on this limited time offer y'all Uncommon Goods were all out of the ordinary wait why did you get baptized at 2019 so actually dude I went to this non-denominational
11:45 Christian Church in Echo Park called inside out and I started doing Jiu-Jitsu there did I tell you that yeah were you train with Mike yeah yeah with Mike that's right yeah we train together they had a Jiu-Jitsu program in their basement and it was like the cheapest one in La was like 90 90 bucks or something all of them are like more expensive so I started training there I show up I was like wait this is a church and it was in the basement of the church and the pastor like also rolled and stuff and so he invited me to like come to church on Sunday after that after like well that's how you got in huh and you're like this is way better than Catholicism yeah yeah nobody ever chokes you that's a trick that's pretty Co I know that was your entry do you see God yet do you see God you see surrender to your savior for the Jiu-Jitsu like stuff that when they're teaching do they Implement like biblical like teaching John 3:16 boom
12:38 completely separate yeah yeah they used to do that with like with like some B boy sessions when they would have them at churches they would they would make everyone have to like you have to like listen to the pastor for a bit after session like you have to I was so skittish churchy I feel like if they had that I would I wouldn't have kept going I also like I I was I think I was like I'm grateful for growing up in the church and everything like Catholic all that but I was just kind of like I need to do my own thing for like a long time then when I went there it was just like they're really chill and just a bunch of jiujitsu dudes yeah a lot of the guys weren't Christian that did jiujitsu there yeah do they end up submitting eventually yeah I don't know who else did eventually they will yeah that's the only way to tap Mike didn't do any Bible studies or anything over there cuz sometimes he would at the gym oh yeah he sat in on them yeah bro my Mike is a and
13:30 he would like antagonize he wouldd like debate with him Mike the he would like yeah he would question everything like like you really think that you really think that yeah then like kind of like try to catch you on something it was just fun to watch I didn't I didn't say ████ he likes to debate he likes a verbal Spar I like when people do that cuz good pastors they always have something for that no for sure I like this guy I think name is like Cliff connect or something like that he does a lot of good like if you have a hard question he kind of has like an answer for it and it's so chill huh yeah yeah but um but yeah Mike is kind of like that too he likes to poke the bear a little bit why do you think that Pro prove me your is he Christian ex I think yeah I guess he would consider himself Christian but he would like sometimes we go out and sometimes uh you know like those preachers on the on like busy streets and they be talking about God he would like stop and talk to them and oh
14:20 those ones are hard to talk to and he would question them and like and the guys with the guys with the megaphones they get mad and ████ he's just an analytical thinker If he if you believe something just wants to know that you have some logical reason for it that's what he wants to know is like how you came across these these but like usually guys that are doing that aren't logical period so why you even challenge him that's why I think he likes it's he thinks it's fun he thinks it's super fun that's why I like that Cliff guy on YouTube because he'll say something and I'm like oh that's actually a thoughtful response to it whether you believe it or not I'm like okay I could I could see that reason yeah but yeah but the Jiu-Jitsu place it was just like I think oh also they let me shower there at the church yeah dude I showered in the baptismal fun for real really that's like you were probably super baptized
15:10 yeah yeah every day you're blessed like hell every day I got baptized two baptized I remember like being baptismal thing I was like them hella [Laughter] clean literally washing away your sins every day but cuz there was a few people living at that church it was like me and like a few other people who are just like in LA and like couldn't pay rent and stuff I mean that's a pretty good way to understand why you're going to have faith in a religion it's like that's a cool Church they're taking people in helping people that's awesome and they do Jiu-Jitsu pretty cool that's pretty cool that's awesome they do Jiu-Jitsu once they had B boy and dude it's over it's a ████ triple threat I forget I haven't been there in a minute man probably they're still training over there they are yeah Mike's back over there for sure yeah was it Glory yeah that's right that's a good
16:00 name for it too makes a lot of sense oh ████ I didn't think about that actually you thought it was about the pride Glory yeah I thought it was about the movie with Denzel and uh Civil War I thought it was a morning glory like pencil boxes stupid sanre you were just saying too you grew up Buddhist but I grew up Buddhist but then I went to a Christian School for two years so in Christian School like you have like Bible study as a class every single day what what grades were these second and third so I learned a lot about Christianity during that time I try to be Christian too my aunt bought me this cross it's a gold not a cross necklace and during that time when I was going there I put it on and I got a fever took it off no way what the ████ may maybe you're evil so I like may I was like maybe I
16:52 shouldn't be Christian hot hot hot H the cross is so hot have you ever seen your reflection in the mirror do you like garlic we should all wear crosses and see what happens so funny he's just a vampire that's it my favorite part of it was music though I really enjoyed music and then growing up my mom wouldn't let me listen to the radio so even like stuff like you know that song you take it's like I'll take what I can get type of thing anything like that I'm like like anything I'll take and I just even like like turn to page 45 and we're all singing hyms H are fire I like fire that's so sad that that's the best thing you got bro when I went to Christian School the best i h in the
17:42 shower those are the best though we're all rocking to Ace of Bas you're listening to that ████ dude I went to a I grew up Buddha Ste but I went to a monu and then uh one of the gifts that I got for a Christmas I think was The Beginner's Bible do you guys remember that mhm is that the one where the guy the dude's like doing sick Ollie what that's the shut the ████ there's like a skateboarder like he's like this it's definitely not that but I understand why you're so damn cool if that's your first introduction dang no it's it's just all cartoon stories of everything in the Bible That's pry like a veggie tail oh dude I actually had something like that growing up yeah but it made it like I was just interested inting everything that happened so they teach you about like the giant you know when man yeah
18:34 when man tried to build that Tower Too Too Tall yeah the tower bevel and then they could then they couldn't speak to each other anymore I was like oh this is how languages was made I I always thought it was so lame when they try to like pop culture Christianity stuff like when they try to be like we're cool too and this is how it could relate to the young folks and then they'll do like a wraps like like like a cover like a parody virginity is cool who is that there's like a real influencer who like parodies that right what's his name I don't know you know what I'm talking about there's this Dan I just know the original video big fan of oh you ever seen it no no so it's like this it's like I think it's a Christian Camp and like they're performing and they're trying to say absance is like fire that's why I did that year actually is that video I was like damn this guy's got a point virginity and he's just shouting to a bunch of kids and he's making a
19:24 fist pump and he's shouting virginity is cool and he's trying to get them hyped up so it's a it's cool dynamic between uh youth pastors it does get you hype though and I'm like you know maybe I should be a virgin on purpose n you know you know what one I I would say one group that did it well was Creed Creed you forget they're like a Christian are they Christian back I think all their songs are about God apparently Oh I thought you may it was like so gay to like them you're a virgin no but like they just did good music right so like and then later you go oh that was a song for Godot it's like in and- Out burgers are so good yeah and on the at the bottom of your C you're like John 3:16 and ████ you're like I got blessed yeah I didn't want to be blessed like like Mattis
20:14 Yahoo you're like yo I think I like that was undercover no no but when you listen to it though what I mean is you listen to it you're like bro I could be in a synagogue I could do this probably like this kind of fire I don't know the synagogue was R yeah like it's like Hawaiian regga it was kind of fire I like the way you say his name too how do you say matah Matisyahu I got to break it up cuz I'm not a good reader you know I got the syllables you don't think like they're you know what it is I think they're not people that are just trying to propaganda Jam ████ religion in your face Jam ████ Jam ████ they're like how do we get more people to our ████ religion you know it's like any like any aggressive bad salesman you feel that like gross feeling that's what it feels like I feel like they do a really good
21:05 job of we're musicians and this is what we love we love our faith or whatever and it let me express myself which is it just feels authentic point and they're and they're actually talented well that's the flaw remember we were saying with like with Christianity one of the flaws is that everybody takes it on their their own duty to witness but not everyone's good at sales so you're going to make anti-christians like everywhere you go some people yeah but then they all think they have to do it it's like putting everyone in One Department it's like all right you're all marketing get out there it's like no not you not you not that guy not that guy not like that yeah that guy gets people he hates everyone virginity is cool yo chill yeah that's how you get all these varied uh what's it called like how people feel about the religion it's so different dude I've been having like in multiple situations with like bad sales people cuz I I was getting a car and then my
21:57 parents were doing like a time share present so I got to witness that that just that feeling over and over again where people are like what what's what's keeping you from this Jr I hate that yeah it's cuz they got to follow a script yes the best sales people don't use scripts how did they get in a time share presentation my parents yeah probably ████ submission for oh never mind CU they offered in the email like hey if you come to this presentation you get a free week of a hotel at any yeah that's what it always did they did they actually like cash in on it they did oh that's cool well they just did it but they're going to book a trip now because of it dude my parents got so mad at me one time cuz they like ████ got swindled into a time share presentation cuz we went to the mall and then I wanted them to win like the Honda CRV or whatever so I put the ████ yeah I signed it in for them but I was a kid and I was like oh ask and then we got a phone call you know when you pick
22:47 up the call oh dude you can win this so we sent them to this ████ presentation to try and win a car next thing you know they're in like a 6our time share presentation dude oh 6 hours they they're long dude though no it's cuz of the tactics they use they try to get you on fatigue they try to get you on so many different ways my parents got mad dude yeah I'd be pissed too that's pretty and I was like how is that my fault I wanted you guys to have a better car than the Astro you didn't have to go you could have left I'm a child third hour yeah dude 6 hours I like how they still followed your lead as a child yeah why are they and then they blame you they're like ████ said we were going to win a car adults that can decip they're supposed to be teaching you this ████ I'm a good sales guy right I'm a good sales guy he's good at sales ████ Anthony man Anthony's a
23:39 closer in his in his household hey sell me this Honda CRV sell me this pen same thing s this pen to your dad
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