0:00 can't they just get Putin on ████ FaceTime and go hey did you do that was that you my boy he's like no no you did it all we need all we need is body language experts and then we're good [Music] and in another epic moment where JK news most likely actually reports the news and if we're not on time edit this part out but also the news is very frightening and scary and we might actually be dead by the time you see this is this about the bear that was playing piano that you sent this last week that was a Hot Topic we're gonna talk about we're gonna do it on Tuesday yeah baby I like breaking news it's like Chopsticks yeah yeah I like that that story was also super old it's like hey you guys should cover this you guys should check this one out to
0:50 make this either extra dramatic or just sound dumb me and Steve are are gonna read one word at a time together okay ready are you first Russian missiles cross into NATO member Poland kill two senior U.S intelligence that's this is the one you want to say that I know I knew it was a bad idea that's why I said or released does this start world war three maybe dude it's really just in case you didn't understand uh Asian Uh Russian missiles cross into NATO member of Poland into NATO member Poland that's really really it always starts Russian missiles kill two says a senior U.S intelligence official so is it aren't they supposed to now have a war isn't that what happens yo you just slapped my homie like yeah it's going
1:40 down now but but they won't huh so the post government hasn't hasn't confirmed this yet that's kind of the that's it so if they have butts one spokesperson told the publication that top leaders were holding an emergency meeting over the crisis situation but it's almost Christmas they need to ████ chill dude you need to do this and then 2023 bro when should they do a joke after Easter after Easter okay yeah okay after the Rapture can we wear white pants I don't know so two people were reportedly killed after a projectile struck an area where grain was drying in the village of dude so it hit a straight up Village near the Ukrainian border yeah but why are U.S officials there no no no not U.S officials uh a U.S
2:31 intelligence official said this yeah he thought two U.S officials died in Poland you worship he thought two official U.S two official two U.S officials were launched you thought is that what you thought have you ever had a dream that you would that you would that you would yo that's crazy if they they hit a ████ grain silo and two of us officials come running out yeah like oh ████ they weren't there oh man in Poland interesting why is why are they why are they trying to blow up some bread green so is it like in the situation where this happens and then uh the launcher says oh that was an accident it was a misfire would that still be the same result of like we're going to war that or maybe like hopefully it was one of
3:22 those anti-missile things and it hit and then it just actually landed mate here maybe you think for that they'll be like interference they're like you know what we ████ up yeah we ████ up that's a pop yeah interference yeah dude oh that's that's a tough I recently saw this ████ where um there was actually a real real incident that was almost like world war three Cold War World War Three with nuclear war and everyone thinks it was Cuba and all that ████ but they're like the real one happened when uh us uh boat or sub was following this like Russian one and then they thought that ████ was supposed to happen and they were supposed to shoot each other and that would have started like Russia versus the US direct conflict but then that uh the Russian side they had a vote
4:12 and one dude it had to be a unanimous vote there were like three captains or whatever and one Captain was like no I don't think we should shoot back or we shouldn't do it and then so the U.S army also didn't have radio and they didn't have radio to Russia so they had to make a decision and if they if these two submarines fought we all would have been like in World War Three yo can we get them some radios yeah yeah my nieces and nephews have radios they didn't have radios but then they made the right decision because the one Russian officer that was like nah I don't think we should shut back that's the takeaway for that story can we get him some radios they were underwater they had no reception I'll buy them I'll buy the ████ Milwaukee talkies I'm happy to do it the uh Pentagon they were out of range you know Pentagon said that uh they're taking all reports seriously and looking
5:02 into them quote right now we are aware of the press reporting on this and we have no information at this time by the way we're the Press Sports pentacon press secretary Brig General Pat Ryder said I don't want to speculate or get into hypo hypotheticals when it comes to our security commitments oh so there's a chance that this is incorrect completely I think uh there's always going to be speculation or anything like that until like officials officially say something you don't want to speculate why are you say it's a Russian missile if you don't know we don't want to speculate but yeah that's why it's definitely Russia that's kind of what I always felt was odd because I always imagined that World War III would kind of start like a freaking like a snap like when the missiles hitting a NATO member I was like I thought before we knew it the ████ would start I didn't know it would be like we're analyzing the data and we're gonna
5:53 see if this is yeah and everybody in the ████ public gets to actually like wait for it and like hear everything word by word right I guess it's not really like that or maybe that's the whole point to be like we're analyzing everything we can't make but really like everybody in the bag is already gearing up that's true I didn't think of that yeah it could be that too like everyone stay calm kind of ████ right just so but then in the meantime the s███'s flying through here if we you start seeing like a bunch of military planes flying through the air I'll start to ████ myself for sure the Pentagon press SEC did say quote we've been crystal clear that we will defend every inch of NATO territory in reference to article 5. Russia's Ministry of Defense denied the incident so maybe that's also part of it I don't know whose missiles those are calling the reports a quote deliberate provocation in order to escalate the situation so I think it's pretty escalated guys yeah you're blowing up a lot of things I
6:43 just passed that point it's pretty pretty heightened already well this is like two people in like in a fight in the circle and all the friends around waiting to jump in yeah right and then like so like you said somebody just ████ accidentally swing somebody yeah that would I didn't mean to hit your gang member buddy well I haven't I have alliance with these guys dude and that's how ████ World War One and Two started bro yeah but you know hey like in a way like I don't want this to happen but I am interested on how today's Young Generation would react to a draft um hey I'm signing up brother I'm a patron I feel like on both sides it'll just be like cool I don't want to do it because you heard about the Russian soldiers they didn't went on and then they're like oh ████ and then they just was like I said the guys on the Eastern Front yeah when they first started they're like I thought it
7:33 was a military I thought it was exercises yeah and then when dudes were shooting at them they're like what the ████ and then they deserted they thought they were like in an X-Men Danger Room yeah like this is real I will say I remember having the feeling um again I was only 16 at a time but when 2011 2001 happened on September 11th I do remember if there was a draft I probably would have signed up I just remember that feeling I remember filling out my draft card when I was 18 and being like this s███'s real because it was in that zone like we were going to war with Iraq when I turned 18. so it was like ████ this is real ████ damn I wanted to join the military once I can see um or maybe maybe I've just been watching way too many Hollywood films but the idea of like uh you know starting some ████ in some undercover way in order to get like people at War
8:24 right like like the propaganda or like the maybe it wasn't Russia maybe it was somebody else who was uh willing to do something and sacrifice something in order to get bigger players in right like uh you know would you put it past hypothetic allegedly well hypothetically would you put it past like um uh Ukraine even you know what I mean to be like oh dude well if we send this missile into a NATO territory we call it Russian then maybe people will come out and help us maybe we'll get military backing yeah you know what I'm saying I'm again I'm not saying that but like we've seen enough ████ up movies and stuff and we've also seen you know those different types of conspiracies where it's like same thing if something's like an inside job in order to start something else it's like yeah because historically that's happened yeah yeah that's that's a thing yeah yeah so even with with Russia right now saying things like what did they say officially no
9:15 strikes were made against Targets near the Ukrainian Polish state border by Russian means of Destruction Russia officially said in a statement it's like who do you believe sometimes doesn't matter because the outcome matters is it is it very difficult to trace the origin of a missile so then find the laundry Direction tag is gone yeah yeah the barcodes blowed up made in Russia the serial number scratched off so you don't know where it came from it's like this was made in China it sucks up its own smoke as it flies that was probably my you know one of the most interesting Parts about the 911 attacks for me is they found all their passports like in a New York Street of like the hijackers they're finding like the hijackers passports like intact just
10:05 littered it's like yeah we found them yep okay we got some passports over here oh look at what we found is that really what they said they just straight up found it on the top of the rubble I'm just saying like yeah that happened but it's a hell of a coincidence passport sniffing dogs though passport sniffing dogs the cute little beagles they found hundreds of passports yeah they were finding out passports everywhere well that's another thing about the pipe that they blew up right oh yeah the one that goes from Russia to England or wherever um but Russia blew up Cheers Cheers but according to Russia that England blew up and according to Jake Tran yeah he had a whole thing about that too it's pretty interesting yeah National Security Council spokesperson Adrian Watson took the Twitter to confirm that the White
10:55 House is quote working with the Polish government to gather more information we cannot confirm the reports or any of the details at the time we will determine what happened and what the appropriate next steps would be can't they just get Putin on ████ FaceTime and go hey all we need all we need is body language experts and then we're good they're always right they're always right they're 100 correct and they can work from home you know because they're always on Zoom dude and like L.A Noir just ████ watch the face I just don't want war to happen because like why I say they get Putin on a FaceTime they have one of the they have two of the body language experts from YouTube look at it and if they say that he looks guilty then yeah we go world war three or just get him get him on a like an Instagram truth filter where it like calculates if you're lying what really
11:47 happens uh once like uh so somebody somewhere in NATO gets bombed or whatever everybody has to everybody as a part of NATO has to jump in that's what I thought but I feel like that's not a thing or is it one of those things where it's like yeah that's the pack and then it's like what what actually happened it's like oh it's I mean it's a small it was a great only two people died and people were like we don't really want to go to war modern I feel like modern warfare isn't the way that we used to think that it would be no it's a PS5 now been happening and it's very much commercial and like industrial and that's why everything's ████ well post 911 what wasn't NATO involved with like the campaigns in Afghanistan Iraq and all that ████ there were NATO Nations but not all of them no like the UK joined maybe it's more like that maybe it's more selective yeah some some of them didn't but then I don't think it's because they got attacked on their soil I guess you could call 911 that but
12:37 then like yeah dude I remember Bush being like we got a coalition hola a lot of member countries and then you look it up you look it up and it's like France sent like 14 dudes [Music] ████ ████ baby laughs why even bother like what a coalition dude thanks man those are 14 Brave Frenchmen yeah they're super soldiers dude [Music]
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