0:00 when she's in the bathroom shower or something go on her phone watch a bunch of that content on her Instagram and then pop back in hilarious it's not like I've done it I do that to my friends too when they leave their signed in I just watch hella gay stuff that's hilarious like how to kiss a guy kissing guys how I kiss [Music] guys welcome back to very special episode of care today we're talking about recent arguments we had with our with our broads broads we actually don't even argue you never ever ever ever ever argue you guys are so lucky sick dude yeah we're like so totally in love that we like never ever argue and then like yeah our our like relationships so Superior to everyone else that like okay
0:51 last time we got into an argument um uh this was it it didn't a full-blown argument but I I do recognize it after I got into the conversation I was like oh I might be I was maybe like developing or harboring these thoughts and feelings for a longer period of time than I thought okay or that you were aware of maybe that I was aware of and it's that um and I get it in retrospect but like she's very very close with her family whereas like I see my family on occasion it's like oh it's a holiday it's like time to go see family it's not like we're in a Tex thread every day it's like look at this piece of ████ I just took like it's it's it's everything is very like I talk when we have to my dad will call me and not be like oh how are you doing he'll call me be like hey you have a bill that just came into the house yeah did you take care of this it's like all regular ████ um and then I
1:42 realized that the holiday season just passed so we had like Thanksgiving we had Christmas we had the new year and all that stuff and every single one there's like a certain way that we have to do family holiday I was telling you about this right like we're with the whole family for her uh and it's a whole ordeal and there's there's way and traditions and things that have to happen um we hosted her family over at our house for the first time for Thanksgiving so everything had to be organized a certain way me and nah were sleeping on the couch because the three bedrooms that we have were given to every single family that has a kid and all that stuff and her parents that's very nice yeah so we had to just do things a very particular way that I felt like was you know like I was trying my best especially to be like as an in-law to be like a really really good son-in-law or brother-in-law whatever just taking care of things if if it was silent moment it was like who wants to
2:32 play this or does anybody need this or whatever you know and then uh we would go over to like my family stuff but anytime I would bring up things that we would have to do for my family it wasn't met with the exact enthusiasm you know because I felt that I I didn't like I feel like for my family I do what has to be done I feel like for her family I try to go above and beyond cuz it's not my family right and that's just like my way of doing doing things whereas for her she's definitely going above and beyond for her family and I feel like for my family she's doing what needs to be done she's showing up yeah yeah it's not bad it's just like it's not the same energy so I feel like my family stuff gets like this like the time like plan b or plan C or something you know from both of us present and then for her family it's
3:22 like the A+ extra ever and then so finally uh we were talking about it with like our best friend we're just in casual conversation and then I kind of like about this like semi- passive aggressive like oh well you know like next year though on Christmas Day because like we always do Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas with hers or like Thanksgiving I didn't see my family this year cuz we were hosting hers so I didn't I literally didn't kick with them yeah so I was just like hey but next year Thanksgiving and Christmas specifically Christmas day we're going to be my family doing whatever it is my family wants to do even if it's boring right just kind of like threw it out passive aggressively and then I was like that was wack you know nothing to address in that moment you sound like a little kid be like we're going to do what I want and then all we're going to eat ice cream in the morning yeah then we're going to go Chuck-E-Cheese but it's cool that you caught it right right then and there you guys fop no didn't make a big deal of it
4:13 that moment cuz we were casually talking amongst friends and stuff like that yeah did you ask what I think you asked did you guys ████ fought oh F I thought you said f I was like I thought I heard like did you guys ████ and I'm like I guess that's a good question that's a better question yeah eventually always eventually like 2 months later um but then but then later on we would get into a conversation about something completely random of and it was maybe driven by that effort I think it was like later that night or the next day or something like that and then like suddenly I brought this feeling or that that point back up and it was about like an effort it was about like a willingness and it all didn't just have to do with her family it also had to do with like her friends and and I realized that I was concerned about that because when I'm hanging out with her friends
5:04 her group of friends it's very clearly it's like her friends and I'm like the plus one I'm going out of my way I'm like trying my best to like I'll like buy food for everybody and make sure everybody's like taking care of like snacks or whatever I'll like make sure that they got every ounce of comfort I'm going like the extra mile making sure that certain plans are taken care of organizing events watching shows whatever it is your friend dude you're doing it I'm doing it for the family too you know that's like what I want to do for a good time but if it's my friends I feel like I'm dragging her along to participate in hanging out with my friends it's not it's not that bad it's just like the I I realized that I was yearning for her to do what I thought I was doing for her right but that's not necessarily fair but it just turned into a feelings argument cuz I was feeling a certain cuz you so you brought up this issue or no yeah and we were kind of going back and forth and I was like I
5:55 just need you to like and it got to the point where when I was at my most emotional Peak to be honest it got to the point where I was like honestly it sometimes it doesn't matter if you want to or not you just got to make me feel like you want to yeah I just need you to make me feel like you want to and you're as excited for that flip the switch do you think she's just like more way more introverted than you Cuz 100 and that's a hard part that's hard but that's why I'm like sometimes I don't expect her to go like the whole distance like I do but I just even if you don't want to do it once in a while I need you to ████ do it for me you know what you got to tell her you got to tell her Tyson said discipline is when you do things you hate but you do it like you love it yeah would you resonate with Mike Tyson she loves Tyson dude she'll do anything even though you
6:48 ████ um did I specifically ask her why she does it no because I think I was too caught up in like what I needed and not in like uh what sense for her because like uh tapping into and just being more empathetic about what was convenient for her feelings wasn't like what was going to make me satisfy in that moment I'm not saying it was the best thing yeah yeah yeah I'm just saying like I feel like I just need which is why I got to that emotional point of being like even if you don't want to every now and then I just need you to make me feel like you want to about like what I need for that how is the intensity of this argument is it cuz it's clearly not as chill as you're being right now like or is it uh it's it's like two notches above what I'm being right now okay but it wasn't so still yeah but it's like it wasn't tears it wasn't and were you like you just hit a boiling point with it you're like yo I got to talk to you about something like that it came up in something else some
7:38 sort of like other thing where I was like asking of like hey but my friends are coming in later like oh come on can we go out and do this and then she's like but I'm going to be tired cuz I after work or whatever the thing right cuz you know like you guys hear sometimes it's like hey should we go out this time it's like oh I need to get home like at 8: and she was going to be too tired but then my thing is every single time it's her best friend who comes into town it'll be ████ 4:00 a.m. and they could do it she's a super woman all of a sudden all of a sudden and you're telling me she's like all hype and ████ like that super hype she's no longer introver leader of the pack shap which again I best friends I think have separate rules I adore it I I told you and so do families which is why I have to shut my pie Hool sometimes you know you got to isolate her from her friends that's what you got to do yeah you have to gas late her about it you have to ████ Cut Her Off Cut Her Off cut her off I'm your best friend tell her why do you even let her have friends
8:30 she just a real Alpha don't let girls have friends that's what I'm saying this goes back to the thing we were talking about earlier she's just so capable of being loving nursery and even a leader in like certain areas and then when it comes to me it's Suddenly It's like I have to do all this stuff and sometimes I want to be the ████ too who just get to have a good time you know just start getting on some Trad wife stuff yeah yeah TR is such a just go one when she's when she's in the bathroom shower or something go on her phone watch a bunch of that content on her Instagram and then she'll pop back in hilarious it's not like I've done it do it you thought about it I thought about it it's up here dude I do that to my friends too when they leave their ████ signed in I just watch hell gay stuff that's hilarious like how to kiss a guy kissing guys how do I kiss guy how do I kiss guy and then I put they favor in it
9:20 so their playlist yeah it'll work if you do that to Nina yeah yeah how did you guys end up resolving it or short traditional shows as well no she she she heard me because I think once she understood that it was like a desire it wasn't a conversation of right and wrong anymore yeah you know what anybody should do in a sense every single moment it was just more like I need this sometimes yeah did she know she wasn't showing up in in that way and then she's like oh I didn't know I wasn't putting in like yeah I don't think she was aware of like what it meant to me cuz I think in her mind it's like it's easy default to like showing up you can always you can always be present yeah you know but like when you when you put in extra effort that's like that that one extra inch is way crazier than just showing up you know um some guys would kill for an extra inch heard that I would heard that
10:13 hey what's up guys just in case you have seen some of these lovely pieces on some of our gentlemen here these awesome Jade pendants or you may have seen the recent JK Adventure where we went to Jade Jewelers just remember that the sale is on now if you want to visit the J jewel. you can even find some of the stuff that our guys have had and way way more the selection is huge so make sure to visit the J Jewelers and check out what they've got check it out let's go but you don't know that you don't have that problem you just trying to deflate huh hey show them hey show them show them show them even half show dude I'm sick of it hurting her you're already in the fallopian tube but yeah that was that was just something that's a good one that's a really good one that's a real one it's a real one cuz they also voiced something that you needed and then you guys were able to kind of like get there in a healthy way which is pretty cool MH cuz some people they they want something and
11:04 they don't even know how to ask for it yeah and the way they ask for it is almost kind of like blame game and then it creates a worst situation yeah exactly but my worst my worst is when I like don't realize it and I pass aggressively joke in front of her friends about something because you know it's also when in front of somebody's like really close friends that's like oh they know you so well so if I like bring this thing up they have a different version of Relativity but then like you're just really throwing youring ████ in front of her friends yeah you're just throwing your ████ wife under the bus yeah dunking on her it's kind of messed up um but you know I probably get it from this environment dunk on me all day yeah you've learned we're healthy we're very healthy love that good communication skills good one I like that we're not even going to listen to you about that we're just like that was sick that was tight good point anybody else want to share no I think we're all
11:54 good huh off we don't have ████ up relationships never what about you guys how recent was that this holiday season like this happened like probably holidays always bring some ████ up though cuz there's a lot bro so many so many personalities so many different family members like half my family is crazy as ████ so it's like I can't be accounted for for anything that they say sometimes and there's a checklist to try to go through this this make sure this these These are cool then this but then this and then this and you do have to see so many people all the time like you have house to house to go to the last thing that we kind of it wasn't really an argument but it's like we have disagreements that we kind talk about in like different sessions of the day where she'll be like like Tiff really wanted to move to Altadena and she was like really set on moving and I was like all right let's go and it was she was like wearing me down over the like last couple months and there was something in
12:44 my heart I was like something in my heart I was like we shouldn't move right now like it's just you got psychic powers bro well it's not even that it's just like all the ████ she going through all the ████ we're all going through right now it's like things are uncertain and I was like if we want to move let's wait till the next year the New Year and this is like we're having talks about this in November December is yeah holiday is not a good time to move yeah I was like we shouldn't move I was like and and we all and my mom was moving at this time and my sister was moving and you know watching them go through all this ████ you're like dude this is it's a very stressful event so we were like checking out different places and Al to Dina we were going and you know like we're taking steps towards that yeah we were kind of taking steps so we were looking we checked out a couple spots and Tiff is always on Zillow you know she's always like what about this place I like Zillow you know and it's fun you know but at the same time it's like ah this place wasn't right this wasn't right but I kept tell I was like let's just wait let's just wait wait wait wait
13:34 wait and she was kind of like you know we get frustrated she get a little frustrated with me but I think she knew that she's more of this person that kind of I don't to say rushes into things but she's like let's just go go go go and I'm more of like let's just sit back and kind of like wait a little bit I think she gets kind of frustrated with my Tendencies like that cuz I'm I kind of like wait and show and she's just go go go so you're a slow go and she's she wants to go go she wants she wants to get it over with we're making laugh she's like finish already can you finish already and I'm like no bab I want to put it in I don't want to put it in yet I'm like let's just let's I want to tease it you know let me finish my dance I was like you don't like my dance this is part of love making you don't like my Dan so it was just like things like that and then obviously you know ████ we see what happens on the news and you see everything like did you go I told you so
14:24 we should ████ wait did you Googy it damn I told you on is crazy Che and see if that exact complex is still there but and then you can shove it in her face like look at that look at that go go girl I did I did say that yesterday you should look at the place yeah we were asking that but it it never got to a point where she's like and we hear like anytime we have arguments she knows that like she she's very she's more empathetic than I am like I'm always like why the ████ you can't like listen to me just ████ let's not do anything and she's she understands that like what I'm saying is like there's grains of Truth in it but she's like I can't help but to want what I want you know so it does become like this this uh interaction thing we have but like it didn't get to a place where we're like ████ we're yelling at each other or anything like that but then you see these fires that come down and it does kind of change the mood of like okay let's just not talk about it anymore
15:16 Now's the Time to move to the deal I was like pric is we can finally afford it this is what I was waiting for babe yeah I was like now's the perfect time now we scoop that's what I said no now when she brings anything up that you disagree with with you you say oh yeah like your big idea to move to Altadena see a a sick move a sick move my God be telling everybody like ████ it did you believe she wanted a moveie hey gather around I want to tell you guys a story how wrong was she on this one am I right that's what Anthony would do no but it's just one of those things that was the latest thing that we were kind of like but it it took like months to have this conversation just like every like a couple times a week we' be like ah we revisit it yeah and then be like n are we aren't we are
16:06 we yeah no that's good you guys remember a lot of details of your fights I got so much Amnesia that's good that's actually a good thing it's for you yeah you're not harboring it yeah I know but then we repeat the same fights right so what I got well we both got amnesia a lot I think but what um what I got to remember though is like some key factors of what to be conscious for so like you got to identify what the what what gets into the fight right so one would be like what we talked about earlier is tact is like word choice when you feel oh I'm getting a little angry or whatever like okay now you got to choose the right words like the basics right it sounds so Elementary it's hard but it's hard when emotional really hardz ████ hard
16:56 whatever triggers you into that AR it might change cuz you'll build certain things or you might have some P ████ but it's tried and true to catch yourself and to like navigate in the moment better and as long as I can remember that I think like each time I can approach it differently but that's the thing that I've been trying to figure out is like recognizing that I am getting into that mode and then two it's like all right how do you like how do you ████ work this out right here cuz some times you just say ████ to win yeah that's when it gets ████ up right I'm like okay I don't even remember cuz then I'll it'll get resolved and I'm like all right now how do you create a program to like not repeat that yeah if if like let's say if you fight very seldomly like once every 2 3 months right but it
17:49 it's it it goes to the same pattern but you don't have enough practice in that pattern or in that emotional state how do you like get there to heal that or fix that and that's that's kind of what I'm trying to figure out cuz it could be different it could manifest in different things it could be like let's say like um like like how you were talking about it was you saw the same thing that you weren't getting in the party thing or like how you were given that effort there but now it's like your friends in town it could be two different things but it's the same kind of thing that you're trying to like work through yeah you know one thing we started doing that really was really helpful kind of in what you're talking about we started to do um like these intentional uh monthly check-ins with each other wow so like yeah you eat and you you know talk you're you're having a conversation and then like you think you're connecting but what me and Gio realized was uh kind
18:41 of even like this we almost don't have this intentional of a conversation unless we're on camera right how how deep are we with our significant others so we're like dude we were like doing our podcast it was like we're here talking about things and then once life happens like things aren't passing or you don't have that dedicated hour or whatever so we started going what if we do like a 1 hour a month not non-film podcast and we just talk about things that are on our mind cuz like we can also start evolving away from each other or we do things and one person assumes the other thing and the next time you guys talk about that subject like wait I thought you felt this way about it what happened in the last 3 weeks so we would talk about things and even past fights or even small arguments but now a way calm manner like hey you know two weeks
19:31 ago when you did this like how did you feel about that and then that really helped us get on the same page of bridging that Gap because again me and Gio now we don't really fight much and we just call each other ████ C ████ ████ that's Co so so it really does help because now nothing matters yeah it's all silly you know I'm like oh you shut up you ████ ████ nothing nothing matters um but then occasionally you kind of like something does bother us but then because we have these monthly just check-ins that we'll actually put in the calendar um that like it kind of like Bridges the gap between each one of those fights and it's it gets resolved so fast and ta sees how to treat a lady well we don't do that fun stuff when he's around so when he's out of school we got to be on our best behavior but the minute he's we said the minute he goes to school hold my hand you ████
20:21 ████ the Habaneros come out now that is true though cuz sometimes you do get caught up in your routines of like where you just go through your dayto day and sometimes your dayto day is just like taking care of other people or maybe like the dogs or whatever and then you're cooking and then you sit down we're on our phones like separately we kind of don't don't talk sometimes it could be the same subject but different perspective so like you guys are cooking talking about moving to Ala right so yeah you're talking about moving but then you're not getting deep enough versus like hey babe like let's talk about Ala for real for an hour she like like here's why you're dumb for one of to mov and here's why I'm right let's Bor into it I have a checklist here to do lisal no but then 10 reasons why you stupid then the real reason comes out and she's like you know what like when I ever since I was like a kid I've always saw this part of the that I really liked but it takes like 30 minutes to get there and if you're just cooking and
21:11 doing whatever you never get to the core like reason that's really true that's really true
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