0:00 we are already in a society where the idea of men being Breadwinners is not because men can't I don't you can't don't bring that up dude oh don't bring it up cool I don't like that I don't like that argument what I don't understand down the middle that's it what you make us look wrong [Music] all right so this is an MIB ████ and we've kind of talked about this topic before but this is a very very recent one and I got a lot of uh attraction and attention and we also have Jimmy eating over here and he's always given great relationship advice and things like that especially on how to flirt so we're gonna bring a topic like this back into the game right this is an am I the ████ for not wanting to split expenses proportional to income she says I live with my boyfriend in flat he owns fully paid off his father gave it to him that's important detail
0:50 the whole building was built six years ago and it's in a very popular area I pay my boyfriend half of the market rate rent which we update every year by looking how much the flats are being rented out in the building complex which is a lot of money but I agreed to it other than this we did everything else 50 50 in the past so again he didn't buy his house his dad gave it to him it's fully paid off but she still pays 50 percent why oh that's kind of weird yeah wait so he's not he there's no mortgage that he has to pay or anything but she's paying it's a flat he owns yeah yeah they're the UK for sure huh so he basically like estimated himself she's looking at market rate she's looking at market rate based off of the like neighborhood she's trying to be fair yeah she's being fair is it one of those where he never asked she's just paying or he asked and she's paying uh it didn't say specifically on that detail yeah but that sounds weird because if it's if he never asked if he
1:40 never asked and she's just paying that she just wants to be like a boss ████ and I can I get that too but if he's asking then he's a a f word she's a cigarette as the UK she says again I pay my boyfriend half of the market rate rent which we update every year by looking how much the flats are being rented out for in the building complex which is a lot of money but I agreed to it so maybe they had a joint conversation about it in some way that just sounds so weird to me it's weird that she's paying him for something he was given and we're not we're not even at the end of the ████ party okay keep going she says I got a new job with a significant pay increase and now my boyfriend says we should start splitting expenses proportional to income because that's fair whoa wait what what kind of communist ████ is that yeah yo if this ████ cup of coffee costs
2:33 two bucks but you make a hundred grand I make 50 Grand does that mean I'd pay like 50 cents and you pay 150. that's ████ ████ dude there's a lot of math too he's like when I ████ bust nuts in your ████ you make more so you pay for the condom pay for the condom proportional to income yeah no that's weird she says I told him I don't think it's fair that I should start paying for more just because I got a new job and nothing else changed I already pay him rent enough rent that would get me the same size flat a few streets away so it's more than fair to him he made some in my opinion very weak arguments and accused me of ripping them off that's when I told him that under no circumstances we will split expenses proportional to income ████ she says now that I've calmed down a bit I'm worried whether or not I'm wrong especially since my best friend told me that this is how they do it with her boyfriend too
3:24 and whoa my boyfriend owning the flat is irrelevant they both they both like ████ that's what they like get out of there they're saying flat it doesn't say location yes but out of there dude wait so but she's saying that it's common because her friend does the same ████ too well that sample size of one person it's definitely not a common well okay I'm pretty sure us being Asian has a little bit of something like to do with it because I don't really think this is no normal even for Asian Americans to think in this light even though we're western-ish right like just it I can't get myself to do that yeah I agree I mean the thing is they're like the hard part is they're like boyfriend and girlfriend exactly and that comes with all sorts of uh like where in your relationship are you and the minute you start nickel and diming stuff it kind of wears it puts a wear on
4:15 the Romantic part of it yeah like whatever happened to just half dude there's a close generator I have a question so do you think this is a double so she's the one making more right now she is so do you think it's a double standard where it's like if the guy is making more he's paying the majority of the rent and that's fine I think it's weird on either side that there's this fluctuation of like expense exchange yeah versus like let's just go down the middle like if we're both gonna use toilet paper if we're either way someone pays for 100 or just do 50 50. yeah versus like every what's the market value of this this is way more this year than last year and you got paid you know it's like it's like how how much of a spreadsheet do you want to pull out every time you talk about enter your point though I think the double standard isn't in that I think it comes from like again like right women like have to bear
5:06 children and stuff like that so we are already in a society where the idea of men being Breadwinners is not because men can't I don't you can't don't bring that up dude oh don't bring it up cool I don't like that I don't like that argument what I don't understand down the middle that's it what you made us look wrong the way that he's charging her doesn't even exist in business so for example uh like if I sell Nick these uh pairs of sunglasses right I would love to buy those let's like yeah let's say it's 25 bucks for you Nick but because Bart makes more it's actually 45 for him that's true but oh but I'll pay uh but Nick can buy it for 25 because you know he doesn't work that way in Texas that does work in business with health insurance as well but the model is so different though you get more things though no like for example even like Covered California when you put in your income if you put in a high income they charge that's because you're in California
6:01 you get you yeah whatever you pay is based on like how much Services you get yeah so then for me that's like if it doesn't even exist out relationship basically doing something that's unorthodox I agree with the relationship element of that but I also see that there are like instances at which if you make more you pay more and but not in relationship terms so I understand that yeah well you make more you pay more I think that depends on the situation so for example um let's say like in my situation I make more I pay more but that doesn't devalue her or I don't expect her to come up so for for example like let's say um Hannah does make money right but the value that she brings to the
6:51 relationship is much more if she helped me out in other things for like maybe domestic work right and that might be devalued but think about it dollar for dollar if I decided to hire a maid if I decided to hire uh cleaners uh wash and fold service all of the things I'm gonna jack you off yeah basically if you put that's expensive a thousand dollars so if I put that in dollar amounts what if it actually equals to be a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year in Services right and then so if I'm expecting her to go out and get like a 80 000 job it actually makes more sense for her to the to do the equivalent of a hundred fifty thousand dollars in domestic Services you know what I mean so like to me I'm gonna tell a jackoffs
7:41 but that's some but basically I'm thinking about the value so if you think about value and and value exchange so like it's not like someone's sitting on their ass all day and saying like ████ take care of me right right like but not everything is about dollar for dollar right so like if one person earns less or more there's other things you can do to bring value into the relationship and balance it out do you expect hypo again not necessarily your hand but just like the hypothetical though of a partner to be cognizant that if somebody is more of a breadwinner proportionally that even though they may not be expected to like contribute more financially maybe they should contribute more in other like dollar for you know is that like an expectation I think as a team whether I'm in a relationship in a marriage or relationship in a in a
8:31 friendship or like any of those aspects right I think that every member should be trying their best to bring value for each other as a team yeah and it's not about dollar value so for example we're business partners right and we have different strengths as as different uh business partners but we also have different times in our lives when one of us need help because the other one can't be there and for me if it's like me and Bart are business partners and we're thinking about staying in this business for over a decade so what if year two um he has something else that that's gonna make him really busy and you can't attend to this partnership that's fine because in year three maybe that might happen to me and he'll step in right so there's different exchanges that you just trust your partner to give their
9:21 full force and to back you up but but to that point though in business there's certain things that that maybe Bart can do then you have to hire out somebody else to do in a relationship you can't hire somebody else right it can't hire a blow job right exactly my girl doesn't give me a ████ across town true right I I think the weird part in this is they had an arrangement and then she starts making more I think if she wants to contribute more that's on her but for him to go it was in your purse over there that's the weird part that's the for me yeah like that whole like mindset moving the goal posts yeah that's that part is is weird what if uh what if again just hypotheticals for the same conversation especially if he's the one with the upper hand like he he is like let's say
10:12 if he was their their Arrangement is he's like this uh struggling actor um he has to you know work two jobs to make ends meet and he's really trying to like work on his grind and she's been supporting him if he needs extra help I understand that that's the whole team part right hey can you pay for more of this I got to pay for more acting classes but their their goal is Let's help build this guy up yeah this guy already got a free pad yeah he has a free pad free rent and he's still peeking into his purse that's the part I'm like what the ████ it's ████ weird that part's weird yeah and on top of that too it's like how much more money is she making than him to the point and does the money she's paying for the rent get included in his income yeah because he's being paid yeah yeah yeah it's weird that would be definitely the biggest thing I think what if what if you were to potentially take that fact out what if I didn't read that part
11:03 and it was just a matter of like things are 50 50 but then uh somebody in the guy or girl somebody likes had a significantly a larger pay increase or something like that you know what I'm saying I think then you probably have to take into account like team goals right like yeah that's different I think it depends on your partner's spending habits so for example right like in most of my relationships I never had to look at the spending habits and say like that's pretty ████ excessive or weird or whatever and I've never got that um in most cases right like it always came from a a concerned Place rather than a judgmental place so I don't know if I can relate in this way but I think like there are a lot of relationships where
11:53 they don't openly discuss finance and this one it sounds so specific that it's so ████ weird but I think most people avoid it altogether until it's too late and then and then you have couples like this that's like nickel and diming every ████ piece and then so it's like how do you find the Middle where this seems like average and moderate and normal I don't know because like I've been lucky enough to where all of my relationships I never fought over this ████ because it was it was like you're getting with like-minded people that spend similar lifestyle wise like yeah yeah because like let's say you're really into buying luxury shoes and your girl was like not even in that stuff into that stuff right and you have a shared account and if you're struggling and you're out here buying luxury shoes all day she's gonna be like what the ████ is wrong with you we need to buy groceries but in this case I just don't
12:44 hear any struggle of like why he should be saying I need more money yeah why what does he need the money for like and I don't know they're not married so like I feel like the way like me and Giro did in the beginning was like the easiest like from day one but there's three bank accounts mine hers and then our expense in the middle because in the beginning when we're doing JK we're struggling hardcore she's working at Bank of America so she's like a corporate woman so she's already making more and we just put money 50 50 into this in our expense account that pays for rent groceries whatever and so if she's making more and she wants to ball out get a beamer she can if she wants to buy a person she can and whatever money I'm making on on my own that's our own so we just everything's just in this account that goes 50 50 and if she makes more she could buy her own toys and if I make more by our own toys and it's been like that since since now yeah so we do it too so now we just have we still have that same exact expense account that we
13:35 both put money in that pays for now it's all of our expenses plus type of stuff because he's 50 50. so so every month it's uh it's a percentage or a certain amount it's a certain amount so before I would when in the beginning it was like 500 bucks each person and that covers like whatever and then as our expenses grew then it was more and more and more but you guys also helped each other out in so many ways like that doesn't even that you're not keeping track of like how many hours also with Geo dedicating to our business yeah that she's helped build yeah and she never kept track right so this is the nature of like I think our friendship and relationship and the people we're around is that it's kind of so foreign to me of checking and keeping track because we're all building together yeah like you guys came in the other day and you did the the podcast on your own because we're trying out a new
14:26 format but they didn't go hey guys if we do this can you give us like this much dollars oh you didn't send the invoice you should have you shut up I was actually going to send you an invoice for turning the lights on because that's what oh that's Canon that's Cam for sure that's canned but definitely that's funny it's because I think what the difference might be is just we're all like uh self-employed right so you it turns into a different mentality of like just put in work and some of this might pay off some of it might not right but you know you all gotta try yeah and then so if you're in a relationship with a person that understands that they see this teamwork as like let's put in this effort together let's build this family let's do this stuff and who knows it might work it might not work whatever um because actually Hannah her friends
15:16 are telling her like you haven't um signed any paperwork for the business you've been helping out their business you've been doing this stuff uh what if like all this stuff happens and all of a sudden like you don't see any of those things and she goes like oh well I'm confident in my own skills to where after this I can build my own now I can run a restaurant now I can do whatever so I'm like it also the skills that she values were all the things that we've built in the experience that we did during with building of jumbee and all this stuff and then so she's like like maybe it's the difference of people that work a salary job everything is more clear-cut because it's easier if you have a 3 000 a month coming every month it's so much easier to divvy up that and then like saying this is your budget this is whatever
16:06 whereas like people that are building a mom-and-pop shop it's like we don't know if tomorrow it's going to be a million dollars or we're in debt for a million dollars yeah yeah that's true like mine in this I think is a key like you were saying yeah like it's just a like-mindedness that makes this work and we're not always nickel and diming each other yeah they need to break up they need to break up for sure but I mean in your situation right you have a business with your girl and then like how do you break that down and you live together and you do you know like does she go well actually you spent 29 days in my apartment this whole month so like you know like that's the weird part we do the same thing like like you do like I have my account smack has hers with whatever millions are in there and then we have our joint we have our joint account which is like if there's something we both agree that we want to do it comes out of that if
16:56 there's stuff I want from me comes out of mind if there's stuff she wants for hers and it's very simple that way yeah like I gotta convince Jill that the guns are for house protection so it comes from the join account no she should pay for that yeah I mean it's for the house [Music] foreign
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