0:00 got lots of tickets for expired tags cuz I'm just really bad at getting that stuff updated. And that's what gave me anxiety is like you could just get pulled over because you forgot to get your license plate updated. Yeah. You're forced to think back to like did I take care of everything? That's why I sold my cars. I literally couldn't keep up with that maintenance. I couldn't. I wasn't capable. You always had to check Asian light. Um check Asian [Music] Welcome to another episode of Careful Boys, where uh we answer a fan question. Somebody had asked this. I can't remember who it was, but here's your uh answer. They were asking, "What are some things that actually give uh give you anxiety?" I know that we're from the generation where we kind of don't get that. I get anxiety a lot. I get I feel like I've always have anxiety. We just
0:50 didn't know what the word was, but I get anxiety a lot. We just called it like scared or nervous talking to cash registers. Like as soon as I'm there, as soon as they start talking to me, I'm like, "Really? Fine. Yeah, good. Great." Like like going up to them and talking to like random people. I always have anxiety like asking for things. Random people. Asking for like waiters to get me stuff like all that kind of stuff. Strangers. Strangers. Talk interacting with strangers all the time. I feel anxiety constantly. Hanging out. Hanging out gives you anxiety. Not with friends. Like with people. That's why Bart's always trying to leave and she's so anxious right now. No, with friends it's like there's a c certain comfortability. Yeah. But if I haven't reached that with people, you know, you have like your silence friends, right? Mhm. Mhm. Sit in silence with Yeah. Like if I'm like me and Nick are and just sitting on the couch, I don't have to
1:40 like create something. I know we can just kick it. We can just stare at a wall together like this. Create an experience. But if I'm not there with that person yet and I'm like, let's say, oh, someone invited me over for a potluck or a hangout, I get anxiety thinking about going there for sure. I'm like, ████ man. Now I got Damn, I didn't know that. Do you get anxiety hanging out with me? No. No. Cuz I'm in the silence mode with you. Okay, cool. Anyone that I'm like, "Oh, you can come over to my house. I don't even have to be there." And I know I can go over your house, you don't even have to be there. I'm like, "Okay, that's cool." But then if it's not at that level, then I'm like, I gotta make funny jokes about the napkins or [Laughter] whatever, then I'm like, ████ Now I got to like create these situations and ████ that would Yeah, I think if you talk that's what I feel on the inside. It doesn't come out like that. Okay. But I
2:30 start to get the the anxiety feeling like, wow, I get inappropriately anxiety. What does that mean? So, like it's never things that make sense, okay? Where it's like I'm just walking home from the gym gym and and then I'm just like ████ anxious physically, but there's no reason to be. Oh, you there's no source whatsoever. But then Oh, it just comes out of nowhere like just Yeah. But like when when there's like a reason to clearly be anxious, I'm chilling. What do you do in those situations where there's like there's no trigger and you just feel anxious? What do you before? I don't think I knew that it was going on. But then once I was more aware of it, I just try to like breathe and think of different things
3:21 cuz then when you're physically anxious, you start being afraid of like nothing. Like whether it's like, oh ████ am I having a heart attack or like whatever. It's like am I going to die today? Like, and then it used to happen a lot when I just woke up in the morning. Like, I'll just wake up in the middle of the night or like too early and I can't go back to sleep and it just feels like a tiger's chasing me, but I'm in bed. Damn. Yeah. And my heart's like, and it's just like, dude, I'll be chilling on the beach in Hawaii and something triggers the anxiety and I'm all like, but why? I'm happy and I'm chilling and and it's like, am I having a heart attack? Am I going to die tomorrow or like whatever? Yeah, that's pretty. But it'll be completely random and it's like things that should make me anxious like when there's an intense moment like I don't know. But what
4:11 Hannah thinks though is that I have delayed reactions. So in the moment I just deal with what I got to deal with and I save that. It's like the echo of what happened before. Yeah. And it could be like a year later or whatever. aftershock of something that happened that I should have had that response to, but I saved it to do it later. That makes sense. Are there any other things you have that too? Like you're just randomly walking back from the gym and you're like, "M, that tasted good, but it was from like two two weeks ago. That ice cream was delicious." Oh, that was a good nun. That would be dope. That would be so dope. Oh, imagine in the middle of eating a steak, you're like you're tasting the drink you drank yesterday.
5:01 He's just sitting here going, "It's nice to meet you." Huh? Is anybody else cold as ████ We're in a desert, bro. Can I get the check, please? Wait, what? Old convos? What about you, Tyler? You getting any eggs? The only thing I can think of is there's like a 15minute window anytime before I do any performance in front of people of any kind. Oh yeah. Okay. Like days leading up to it, I won't feel anything. Even like practicing like hours leading up to it, nothing. And then once I know it's like that 10, 15 minute window, I just like start feeling something and I feel like it's cuz I care deeply about it. Like a stage fright. Yeah, it's like a like stage fright. Do you have a protocol or do you like embrace it? Cuz I know some people embrace it too. I try to embrace it. It's like nerves. You just like acknowledge your nerves are just like alert, elevated. I make myself
5:51 feel better by saying like if this moment is supposed to work out, like God will make it work for me. Like I just kind of put my faith in God and just let him sort of But that doesn't make him fully go away. It's like it's still kind of there. And I have to pee a little bit, too. And I'll go pee and I still have to pee a little bit. I hate that feeling. You ████ pee and you're like, "Why do I got to pee again?" I I like nerves before performance. I like got I got you. It's like the most like enthralling feeling because I feel like when you don't feel any nerves before a show like um not to be like all cocky cuz you do it all the time type stuff, but it's like it's like this the stage maybe wasn't but you're going to do it, but you're going to do it. The stage isn't going to provide your growth. It's like not worth your your time kind of thing. It's just like a gig or something. So you don't care about it like like you said, right? But once you feel like nervous before a show, it's
6:41 like that. It's basically saying like, oh, you care about this and you just feel alive in Madison Square. It does make you feel alive. I think that's why I like being a performer. Like nothing else really makes me feel that. Like I don't feel anxious. But outside of nerves, I get anxiety when it's like like you got to headline a show, but like you're the last act and you're 3 hours out and you're just like, I wish I could just perform now. Yeah. Do you want to do it already? Yeah. Yeah. Can I please just get this over with? Mhm. Yeah. Do you get it when you are hosting anxiety? Yeah. Only the first like uh three times I come out on stage. Oh, okay. So, cuz I feel like it's about Yeah. Finding groove. And you've already like Not the kid shows. Not the kids show. I definitely drink at the adult ones, but it's apparently why I'm not allowed to
7:31 anymore. But um but yeah, there's there's finding a groove cuz then like once you once you go out there and then you get something out, gibberish, whatever it is, and you come back, you can think all day like, "Oh, did I did I speak too quickly? I I calm down a little blah blah." You go out again, you do it, you get a little better. Next thing you know, you're like, "Who gives a s███?" People laugh. They like it. Whatever. It's not even your show anyway. You're just then you get back out there and it feels nice. I think the feeling of like like if I have to perform or something and I'm like minutes away from it, instead of being nervous, I've always just had this funny thought of like, well, I mean, I don't have a choice anymore. I got it's like I'm stuck here. I got to like get it over with. And it's it's very like comforting always before I think before any nerves hit, that hits first and I'm just like, well, here we are. me me and some of the guys in the crew, we do this
8:21 thing, especially when we have to teach class, when we're not feeling it or like when we're teaching someone, we don't want to be or like we know the students aren't going to like love it that like the energy is just really weird, you know? Yeah. Uh cuz sometimes you're really inspired by the situation and sometimes right before you go on stage, you go, "Yeah, make that money." And then you sprint. Oh, that's your guys' thing. Oh yeah. We just yell make that money. You sprint on stage. Do what you got to do. We we slap each other in the backs like super hard. I think I've seen you guys just to wake up. It's just to wake up, you know, get alert. Yeah. Just to get like I used to get anxious going to Costco. Oh, for dude on a Sunday. Just like I know I have to deal with all these s█████ drivers. No one ████ I'm not going to be able to find a parking space and then I'm going to have to go in and there's all these ████ people everywhere and I know it's going to take
9:11 ████ forever to check out just I still get that on Sundays. Like if I'm not going like off day, Tuesday like midday. Those days are the best. Sunday I I don't want to go. Anytime Nina's like, "You want to go to Costco?" I'm not on the weekend. It's just not enjoyable. Even the You're fighting for your life out there. The cost sometimes is pretty sick though compared to like going to Amra. It's better. Yeah. But like still Sunday is still like, "Oh, this is where all the Asians come out." Mhm. When we have to do an emergency shopping on the weekend, the way that we shop, dude, I'm getting two of the ████ carts and like And it's usually just you and Hannah. Yeah. Oh my god. Everyone's making jokes about milk. There's a boomer that can't wait to go. Why don't you do the cow? Three times in a row. Oh my god. I kill myself. Is Hannah like hella yolked now from like lifting? She just curl and jug. Dude,
10:01 she's pretty strong, man. I can't I'm like I don't know where you get those muscles. you get um anxiety when you have a new client and it's your first session with them whether it's with training or that I used to get way more but I feel like I'm in the pocket more with that. Um, when I ever I teach class, I get like anxious. I always I'm like, "F███, I hope I teach a good class." You know, always. Um, even though I've been doing it since when I teach kids, I'm always like that. Like, ████ All right. Before every class, every class, I always feel like it's just a quick feeling of acknowledgement. It's all, right? But it but like you said, it makes me feel like, okay, it's because I care. Like what Tyler said, too. It's like you want to put a a good like you want to make sure something somebody takes something away from it. Yeah. Yeah. That's the main thing is like don't want to waste their time, you know? Yeah. Well, it's just like, yeah, I hope I could deliver the important thing of the day and then hopefully it's a theme that you could think about and
10:51 it'll help you later down the line. So, it's like really thinking about that. When I talk to clients sometimes, like in video calls or like talking about important stuff, sometimes I get like cuz it's stuff that like you don't really want and they're anxious too probably cuz they have to like talk to me and be honest and be like, "Oh, I didn't do this." And it's like it's fine, not whatever. I think you're just talking about stuff. So, you kind of feel that way. Um, but honestly, when I go get like my smog checked, I'm like anxious. I'm like, uh, like you just feel like like just random ████ bro. Like, like just Yeah. I feel like I'm anxious all the time, actually. That's kind of your thing. Yeah, I feel like I'm anxious. Baseline. I think I am. Are you more anxious about JK or casuals? Like both on screen equally? No, you have to pick one. Yeah, this because of how much volume we do and I can, you know, I figure like Yeah, but actually cuz like I feel about MMA, you're pretty like
11:42 you're not as anxious, right? Cuz that's kind of like what you like here. You don't know what you're going to talk about. That's got to be a little bit more like but I just feel more comfortable with you guys in general cuz it's like it's it's not just me, it's like us. So I think it's also kind of easier sometimes easier to talk in a situation where you're not the professional and there's not expectations. If you are the professional, people are like they're expecting you to I think my thing with the casuals is finding my time to jump in is like kind of that's the hard thing cuz it's like especially when we have a guest, we have someone that like we all have all these questions for. Yeah. And then but it also has to work with the flow of the conversation too. Mhm. And it's like, you know, David's curious about stuff, I'm curious about stuff, Gil's asking all these questions and we kind of have to like I don't know, without really talking with each other, like shape the interview a little bit of
12:32 just how the natural progression. So, it's like you don't want to say anything too close because the guest is talking about something, you know, it's going to lead to another like really good branch topic. So, you kind of want to sit in the pocket and be like, uh, okay, I won't ask that yet cuz it's going to take him on another tangent even though I really want to ████ know. Even though it's gonna like steer the might miss some gold. Exactly. Exactly. So, it's like kind of finding that pocket. But I think it's just newer for us too. So, like I feel anxious about that. But in general, I just feel like I'm always just like What about What about with Is there any part with Tiff that you feel anxiety like in the bed or anywhere like just something maybe like her credit card? No, that's not a problem. Unfortunately, unfortunately, the problem is is like is me um I don't like the idea of
13:25 me breathing on somebody in general. Like me breathing hot breath on somebody is like probably one of my worst like I'm sorry that's awful. That's not okay. Um and you know, can you breathe on Bart real quick? No, I'm not going to do that. Try it. See if it gives you anxiety. I just been drinking coffee. I'm not going to do that to you. I'm not going to do that to him. But um like as you know I'm a mouth breather. So SL's like you know when I'm trying to kiss my lady I'm like like that like like that bro. Oh my god. Did you hear it yourself? I would imagine I would imagine and it's like that sounds awful. I don't want to get that that that kills my boner. You know what I mean? Um so just doing stuff like that or like I we talked we talked about this yesterday I think when we were on our walk and I was like as soon as I start sweating Yeah. And I'm I'm intimate yourself anymore. I'm like, "This is destroying my penis
14:17 right now. This is destroying my mother cuz you just feel I'm like I'm like sweating on you. This sucks. I'm sorry. This isn't fun." You don't think it's passionate? Sometimes it's kind of hot. Yeah. You don't It's like Jack and Rose. I don't know if that's anxiety, but it's like it takes me out of it. It takes me be like, "Ah, I feel like I'm being like gross or inconsiderate." You know, you sweat way less. I'm not even going to tell you. You sweat what? No, nothing. What about like if you're going to tell me? No. He's going to say, "Wait, what are you what is he not going to tell?" You were going to give him a tip on how to not sweat. Do you know where you sweat less? It's Nevada. Oh, okay. You do less. But sometimes the feeling of anxiety is nice. Like when you when you're gambling. Oh, that's why the thrill. Yeah, the thrill. Say dating the same way. When we gamble, whole time my heart's beating out of my ████ chest,
15:07 dude. I'm like, why? I'm like, I don't want to do this. And you love it every time. No, I don't. I don't love it. You don't like that? No. No. But the stress is what makes the payoff feel good. That's true. Cuz you stressed, you're like, oh this. And you win, you're like, oh my god, it was worth it. I'll say this. When I won $37 with you, it wasn't really the fact that I won $37. Greatest moment of your life. It was the moment that I was like, I learned how to play craps with Anthony. Anthony taught me how to play craps. That's cool. Like, that's what made me feel good. That's true. When we bet on fights, that's exciting as ████ Yeah. So, you guys are usually watching the fight like every minute. Yeah. Like at his house and we're like And you see like a miracle happen or like whatever like or you're like having like those parlays where you need to like like get five of them to happen a certain way. I usually don't watch fights, but when we bet I I try to
15:58 watch them. It's amazing. It's amazing. There's times when we should bet Hey, we should bet stays tense the whole time. down. Micro betting is so much fun. You guys want to bet this Saturday? Saturday. I'll I'll be out in Vegas this week or Monday. Monday to Wednesday. Monday to Wednesday. Who do you Who do you think is going to win the main event this Saturday? I don't even know. Vulk or Diego. So Diego Lopez is the young guy, but he's an underdog. I think we can bet on him. Bart has to watch tape though. I need to I I tried to, but I haven't had time. Are you good at public speaking? Like I don't think I am, but I don't know. I don't really do much public speaking. But like let's say I was getting married and I'm like uh Nick's going to give a son. What you should do is Nick's the ████ man of the speeches. He's asking you as a brother right now. If you ask me that'd be there's like 300 of my friends. It'd be really It'd be really hard to say no to you. What if I wanted you to do a jiu-jitsu
16:48 demo? That might be easier. As as lame as that is, that might be easier. Grab my sleeve. That's when I'd be like, "F███ no." I'd be like, "F███ no, dude." And you know what gives me anxiety all the time and I never know what it's going to be? Anything family related. Yeah. ████ family trips, family holidays, anything where I'm stuck in a room with like my mom for an extended period of time and variables are all over the place or like all of Nah's family at one time because it's just over estrogen. Like anything can happen at any time and emotions can flare and drama just spouts out from like nothing. Absolutely nothing. And you just got to be on your best behavior and just like damage control. You're just damage control the whole time. Meanwhile, you want to murder your whole family and start fresh.
17:38 That does give me anxiety cuz I feel like sometimes I feel like just existing will like trigger someone to get like drama about something like am I going to say the wrong thing? Like what do I got to talk about? Or are you not saying the thing that they want you to say in the first place? Like you could just not even be saying like give me that. Sorry, I'm getting anxious now. Oh, you know, Tyler know. Sorry. But you said you when your mom calls cuz anytime my parents call. Oh, yeah. And I see my mom's number. I'm like, ████ ████ That's just dread. Has it been that way since you were like I guess like since you had a phone? Beeper? Cuz it's never like um I don't know. It's never anything cool. Hey, we got puppies. Yeah, exactly. I
18:28 might have that same thing when I hear my name. Ryan. Because I'm so used to being in trouble that like if a teacher said my name, I was probably in trouble. If my parents said it, I was probably in trouble. So when I hear my own name, what about from friends or smack? Not as much, but just like if I hear it in an official level, like if I'm waiting around at like a some kind of a corporate thing and then like my turn comes up and they're like, "Okay, Ryan." Like it feels like like it feels like I did something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I don't get I don't get it this bad anymore, but when cops are around me like when I'm driving Yeah, for real. For sure. My heart used to just ████ race cuz then I always had ████ in the trunk. So, it makes sense. Yeah. I mean, if you're doing a heist. Yeah. Like the other day, I was driving through and uh they had a DUI checkpoint. I'm not drinking or nothing, but Oh, that is pretty. Yeah. I was like, yo, what the
19:20 like they can escalate stuff out of nowhere, too, so it is scary. So, I avoided it. I was like, I'm going to get the ████ out. I get anxiety when I see ████ highway patrol. Oh, yeah. Now, quit the ████ thing. Cuz now I know their difference, right? So, if I'm like driving, I see a black and white pull up behind me and I go, "Oh, it's sheriff or it's like whatever PD, I know they're looking for all kinds of crime." So, they're not like justific, but when I see CHB or if I see Nevada Highway Patrol behind me, I'm like, "F███, they're only looking at driving s███." I could pretty much like hold out a bag of cocaine and they're like, "I don't care." But then you don't signal and you make a right turn. Bam. Get in your ass. Yeah. Cuz they're only looking for traffic. And I'm like, "F███ traffic." Got lots of tickets for expired tags cuz I'm just really bad at getting that stuff updated. And that's what gave me anxiety is like you could just get pulled over cuz you forgot to get your license plate updated and you
20:10 just are like always driving around like, "Oh, is my ████ up to date? I don't." Yeah. You're forced to think back to like, "Did I take care of everything?" Yeah. And I'm really bad at taking care of everything. That's why I sold my cars. I literally couldn't keep up with that maintenance. I couldn't I wasn't capable. You always had the check Asian light. Um check Asian. No, check Asian light. Just end it there. They're in the vicinity. Am I Asian? Check Asian.
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