0:00 so your type has never been relegated to like a no guys a race I'm not just into black men [Music] oh welcome back to an episode of careful boys the one that you've all been waiting for today we're going to ask Colleen how to win your [Music] heart a lot of dudes right now are pulling out a notepad yeah commoners get your get your pens out Ken first what does a man have to do Colleen to win it to win it to get in is there anyone I feel like not much I feel like my standard is pretty ████ low but I think most men these days are just lower than that what okay what do you think Big W is lacking in men today
0:52 consistency consistency of what's showing up putting in effort communicating having transparency I hear I hear that a lot right like uh just like from like dating shows that I'm watching women do talk about showing up and that men don't show up but I'm like what does that mean cuz I'm not surrounded by losers so if I'm not surrounded by losers that cuz like all all of you guys show up that's why you're fing married or you're in long-term relationships but I don't know what that means sure maybe my standards are or miserable you don't know you think they're too high no I don't I think I'm asking for the bare minimum to hon I don't know what what does it mean by like what's an example of that the consistency and showing up um here's an example when life gets
1:42 tough individually you still show up you still put in effort for the relationship you don't cry about it you don't you don't blame your partner for no it's just like I understand that like it's easy to be happy when things are going great right but it's it's a it's a true Testament to how you're going to solve problems in the future together if your life starts being in shambles or if you're stressed or you don't have the capacity but you still choose to put in effort you still show up you still show up that part is very important good stuff so is that a situation like where let's say that you're kind of talking to some guy and then he's like hey uh I'm on this really busy job for the next couple weeks can we just put this thing we got on hold for a while that's the bad part no it's the fact that he communicated really that's fine like I
2:32 I'm not asking for a lot so you've been in situations where they didn't even say it that they just like it's more so like the the quality of the communication and the connection isn't there like I'm not asking to be taken out on fancy dinners I'm just saying hey maybe check in in the middle of the week before you go to bed let's have a conversation about your day about my day what if the guy was like I didn't want to overload you with like messages I don't want to bug you well at least he's communicating we could talk about that D so not even that they don't even say that much damn confus like oh okay all right what are some moments in your like like in in your recent experience where where it's like oh another ████ didn't show up yeah what are some moments that you have to go you're out cuz like when you told the story about the like like the dude that like gas and and like I'll help you out and it's like that clearly is like
3:24 that's some dumb ████ what the ████ right so I'm trying to I'm trying to understand those moments it's it's literally those what the ████ D moments what if they're like trying to communicate I just they're trying to communicate they're like can I kiss you yeah that's tight and they're just breathing heavy is there ever a yes after hearing that hey they ask for consent not in my experience but that's not showing up though he showed up he just he's just asking he just did at the wrong time what's what okay what's worse can I kiss you or do I have consent that's fire the second one might be better dorky the the consent makes you look like a little ████ what if he's looking at you like this do I have consent to kiss you or what if he goes like this so ████ attractive hey what if he goes hey to kiss you it's about to happen yeah
4:17 that's fire that's fire that's good better if he does that and commits to it I think he's doing it as a funny thing and that's like that's the way to went in my heart you got to be funny cuz you're making fun of that exactly I think if you're too on the nose and you're serious about it that it takes away the yeah making a mockery of the cording process is always a win that would be a boner killer so write this on your note humor I do like do I have consent to kiss you that's so funny funny but like say that in the middle of our conversation yeah or or you lean in and go wait do I have consent to kiss you that's the ultimate that's s tier you she's like into it and then you stop it you know I think I think if you did that and we haven't kissed yet it's a
5:08 nog go but I think if it's a yeah it's a first absolutely not but I think if it's like 30 time you did it that's funny this is the this is how you get a kiss why you keep using me as Apple you're right next to me for sitting there dude can you can you smell this oh my ████ that's r word trick me little wor that's a little no no you you you kiss that's no no no but that's after you've already broken the physical barrier that's just ████ flirting dude that's not for the first not for the first one not for the first one not for the first one not for the first one let's do it again can you smell me can you ████ ████ you hit my head you ████ ████ wa is this is this process are you still trying to kiss no we're not I'm
5:59 just broke break the ice man I'm sorry break the IU it didn't work dude you go can you kiss this and you lean in lean in I got your nose yeah that's that's that's a jud's cow original no we're losing it boys how do you feel about any of these examples that was good I checked out to be honest what um okay sorry go ahead though what what what do you think is for for the people out there that are like hey I want to improve and I heard this too and I heard that like guys are uh guys my generation are ████ not showing up they're not being consistent all this St what can they do to change that effort be interested in the things that well like what if they think they're putting in effort but then it's not the right effort you know what I mean like sure yeah um well here's an
6:52 example checking in with me on what you did in your day and not ask me any questions it's like well I made effort to communicate yes technically you communicated but you communicated Journal yeah exactly you communicated all things about your like checklist 's like I'm getting tired me that you're busy and you're telling me that you're handling all these things and maybe it's an angle of I'm being productive for us I'm being productive for you right and I can I can understand that but the other angle is putting an effort in making her feel heard her feel seen her feel included right it's about your experience together not just as individuals yeah I have a question for you do you ever just tell them straight
7:42 up hey I would like it if you ask me about my day more often yeah and what do they say uh they get defensive yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the best are they like well last time I asked you you didn't barely say anything yeah that's true yeah it just always goes into do def to ask about your day man that's a gift that keeps on giving do you have so great I love that guy what what his name out of the guys that you're dating do you know if their parents stay together or if they're from broken homes that's usually your first question yeah imagine you know what's funny it's um I've noticed it is a pattern a lot of them are from broken homes so if you guys know anybody who's uh who are parents are still together they're usually gay yeah usually all right here's a question have you
8:32 ever um met a guy that initially you didn't feel any attraction whatsoever didn't even cross your mind and then eventually you were like you got the hots from them out of nowhere oo la I mean maybe not to the Ooa LA but I saw other sides of them that I found attractive by getting to know them so there's hope for dudes that are like in the friend zone yeah friend zone but well I didn't say that friend zone yeah I think there's for somebody who's looking for some like if a woman's looking for something with more depth than substance and it's not just physical I think that can build but I also do know from experience that that physical aspect of being attractive to your partner is really important yeah you can't I mean I Tred that too being like well just you know this person I'm
9:22 close with this person knows me well oh like other bonding like right and those things were important but the attractiveness is and is 100% instinctual 100% yeah MH what about um have you ever been actively pursued and you weren't into it and then eventually you were into it later they broke down where you knew this guy was trying to get you and he's just like always like there and it's kind of annoying at first but then you kind of start coming around has that ever happened no I don't think so D take that note fellas what do you do you think there like um when you mention you have high standards or whatever right like usually well I don't think they're high standards you you don't think they they're but I think in today's society they're high they're high right but usually dads set that standard up for
10:13 their daughters like your idea of how a husband should be is is usually set by how he treated your mom and then like he probably was solid in a lot of ways that a lot of guys today might not be able to measure up to maybe um but my dad had many flaws too so I also am pretty logical in the sense that it comes with both there's no perfect man there's no perfect woman we all come with our own flaws uh we all come with our own baggage it's what you're willing to compromise on and work through what if a guy like shows up late for a date you're a little frustrated he's like I'm sorry I had to wash a bunch of rocks like like we be doing that what if what even better if he was like I had to wash a bunch of you know never mind you
11:04 wouldn't even get what I'm about say and you just feel it and you're like rocks and he goes how did you know was it rocks you were I also did your dad get mad of you the stipulation that I'm still washing rocks today dude deep cut a core memory though it's a core memory such he's like about to say everything she used to do and then I had to go play some you uh I had to go get never mind you won't understand think I'm a freak part of my childhood I never noticed he trips in Yu-Gi-Oh cars just fall out of his pocket my dark magician oh jeez maybe I'd find that attractive when I was like 11 what if he's like and then I had to dump my SD that's all boring you don't want to hear about you know I don't want to date anybody in my in you don't want to date nobody I don't I used to think that way I used to think oh yeah there's so much you know commonality and I
11:56 actually think that's like the L lowest common denominator for like a good relationship I actually prefer you don't do what I do yep why is that facts I think I've done it in that in that world multiple times and I think uh also the world that I'm in doesn't always have consistency and there's a lot of uncertainty so it'd be nice if he had certainty oh okay yeah yeah so you want to I see relationships like that like stable us a little Rel my relationship there's always like one that's kind of like got the stable thing and then the other one that's like we're going to do the gambling thing with and then they're going to combine it that way I'm the Gambler Gambler yeah true I'm the Gambler when I um
12:46 hear like effort right yeah as a as if I was a single boy and I heard that I think I'd be confused between effort and then not being a s and not trying too hard and then being too thirsty and then it's like okay well I'm going to put in effort but then it can backfire cuz the intensity of how much I'm putting effort in well give me like a prime example give me like something specific like let's say if you tell someone to try harder right then they'll be like okay I'm going to call you m multiple times a day then but then it comes off as desperate well why I mean if I didn't pick up the first time and I didn't pick up the second time oh no like you're picking up but then maybe I'm overdoing it or like maybe I'm over Tex or like well are the are the conversations like based in
13:37 quality is there actually something to talk about you're just doing it to do it then doing it to do it yeah just on the phone and there's Dead Silence give you updates about day time is 1:24 p.m. ████ love it look at the bird don't ask me any ████ questions I'm wearing blue jeans right now by the way I I'll give you I'll give you an example cuz like what stood out to me is like I could think like young Joe and then current Joe right so if you were to say um you got to tell me what you're you know give me more substance behind what you did today right young Joe and autistic boys most guys right would just be like here's a list of things I did because you asked me what I did today these are the things I did there's no story behind it there's no substance behind it exactly right but you told me what did you do I went to McDonald's and then after that taking a literal though but a lot of guys are like that yeah and then that's why you're getting that kind
14:27 of response right so it's like how do you teach that dude to evolve from like a robot that gives you a listicle to a Storyteller that gives you meaning I also don't need a meaningful in-depth story about how you felt about why so and so said something like every single time like just authentic Joy of talking that's all just like whatever the ████ is about whatever the ████ authentic if it's something that you were thinking about today if it's something that's been you know stressing you out cool let's talk about that and eort doesn't always have to be ████ poetry you know what I mean or financially either like that's that's why I think that my standards aren't High because I'm not asking for five star dinners every night four star is fine four is four is fine four and four and a half why do you think there's a huge lack of that in the
15:20 uh guy like guys in a dating pool right now because I think people in general men and women treat people as Commodities oh so you're you're saying that it's not just a guy I think but a females are also the dating pool in general I think men and women treat each other as Commodities and not something to actually put real investment and intention into amen that's why I became a passport bro that's a best I went to a poor island country and got myself a woman maybe maybe you should do that does that work for me the way that my my ex- roommate met her now husband I feel like you would vibe in the same kind of way but she was like hard to get as well and then she was at a party talking to one of her girlfriends about this like guy that was like an idiot and she was just like God he's such an ████ and then this random guy stuck his head in
16:10 the middle of their conversation and goes you're an ████ and she love it for Sight cuz he didn't give a ████ and he just walked away and then she was like who the ████ was that guy and then they ended up married yeah and what did I say in the last video you got a neg girls dude that was a neg but it was such great time like that's what's so funny about it is like we have great plus he was like a really hot guy so it's like right that's also like to put that out there too like you have to the girl has to be attracted to you like that is the defining you don't get to just do these moves yeah it's right it but that's such a funny like like for a girl like her I'm like no wonder like cuz that's her vibe too it's like if you came at her with like the regular stuff she would just be so bored so bored so like you do see some
17:00 couples though that are very questionable like mixed race ones what are you say there's one she you know there's one she's dressed up she look nice and all and there's one fat ████ dude you're just like what the ████ what a lot of people just go he's Rich why don't you just say glendell Armenians oh come on I gave you a chance good Lord cut it out don't tell me what to do leave it in leave leave it in ████ down the not you do got to play the like law of averages though being yourself because if you like play a game yeah and then somebody gets into you and then you got to slowly uncover who you really are rough that's like way harder that goes against the consist uh consistency yeah being being yourself and then if somebody don't like you for that then you ain't going to like them
17:50 either then you just keep moving on until somebody like that ████ thing it's like somebody likes you for who you are after that you don't have to put on a game you just have to like be into them if you're into them you're going to do your ████ you know absolutely do you think what you like personality intellectually is like a nerd but you don't like what they look like they're not attracted to you so the guys that you do date are just ████ AirHeads and they just don't match I wouldn't say the guys that I date are AirHeads I think they're intelligent in their own different ways and talented in their own ways um they're definitely not Airheads but bunch of dumb guys dating yeah I don't think I'd be wasting my time on a bunch of ████ AirHeads cuz you got cuz you got interested in some way so there was something ████ thanks Joe there was something there prob should
18:40 date a bunch of dumb guys yeah you're right I'd have way more success K camera video good it's because when you the way you explain it I'm just like picturing a dude that's like really hot but like really dumb and I'm like how the ████ do these guys exist oh they exist I've dated a lot of very average looking guys and I've also dated a lot of really hot guys too and there's a it's a mix of everything in in each of them so your type has never been relegated to like a no guys a race I'm not just into black men oh that just Steve bit by the way we don't run that one no it all happened because she said Dion Cole was her favorite so then from that point on
19:30 it's my fault I leaned into it yeah God forbid God forbid she have a bit Yeah Yeah God forbid I ████ joke here when ladies do it it's serious exactly oh John Cole women can't be funny ever all right is there a moment in Colleen history where there was a dude that had your heart for a very long time and he got away no not that you adding the goded way just we have to even know if she she's even got to that point right and then she was just like there and then he had a small penis and then why is that the and then later feel that unveil I think I've gotten closer the older that I've gotten and and had more experience with finding a guy that like fully has
20:22 my heart cuz when I look back there's like pieces of it oh um but my biggest thing it was it was the cut off for me was I can't see this man as my husband oh wow cuz he can't like fix stuff or what he's like physically weak the sinks just spring yeah he do know how to change a tire for real though like what is it like he calls you to change his tire yeah I pump his gas I don't know what the jack is at what point in the relationship where you realize oh ████ this could never be like marriage like several years into it like no I'm I'm a lot better at that now okay before I think I would like think I'm a hard worker I think you know being in a relationships takes work and you can sacrifice certain things and I think that's the younger version of me I think
21:12 the older version of me now no I know the older version of me is very much so like I'm not here to fix people this is your character you show up the way that you are um the way that you have capacity for right now and I get to decide whether that's enough um but as far as the husband aspect I think it's it's a combination of different factors for each individual person what if he like stands and holds his hand on his hip too long that's like that's not marriage material brother I can't marry a guy like that imagine that being a deal breaker you get a you get a it cuz this fool got a bad back and it hurts hey sometimes when I catch myself in the mirror and I'm just standing like this I'm like oh I probably shouldn't do that probably do that Nick's like you look so gay right now I know that feeling I do both hands me CRA I do both hands my thing is like I look at them I go can I see
22:03 myself being a wife and having kids with this person can I see this man raising kids with me can I see this man in a in a more like natural way be the protector be the provider can I lean more into being a a feminine person and and feel protected and safe and and and most of the time there's moments of that but it doesn't fully feel like that and I feel like I have to be like there are times where I have felt if somebody breaks into this house right now I'd be the person protecting why you why you I'd be the person that has a plan I'd be the person that's grabbing the gun I'd be the person that's like wow and I just I don't want to feel like that and that sounds like kind of superficial kind
22:53 kind of not superficial but like it's just it's just in my nature I think it's just in women in General feel like that Hannah said the same exact thing to me she's like the guys I was dating like it felt like if I was in danger right now they'll just let me get it's the same guy the same guys go I don't like guns okay that's fine you don't have to like them but at least know how to use one wow kind of kind of kind of kind of and then then what that tells me is just just from what I had the conversation with Hannah similar one right she was like a champagne socialist like liberal ass like Entertainer girl and then she's like my standards of like what I expect is is for guys is just wasn't being met in London cuz she says all these guys don't
23:44 came here no no she says the guys that she was dating the guys that she was dating same same kind of thing about like I don't feel like I I'm I'm ready to just be a wife and like I trust him yeah and it sounds like the same thing where you can't just like melt into like all right now okay cool we're a team yeah and then you got my back like you can handle it like I would 100% give up my career for that yeah 100% I just have not found it in a man yeah I think you're you're around too many uh weak liberal guys soft yeah it's it's La in general I guess is weak liberal guys you think it wouldn't be that hard to find but I guess it ████ is there's a lot of liberal softies out here man stay with your wife it's a security she she going to save me if someone comes through the door though it's a security
24:34 thing like you want to walk around feeling like oh this fool will knock this but you know guys will take that and and then they will just be like okay that means I got to learn how to fight a lot and then be but it's just being the fake Macho that ████ ain't actually that's not it either that's not it either cuz you still can't ████ pay bills and actually protect anybody yeah so it's like yeah it's it's the feeling that if I don't have it whether it's financially mentally emotionally and it's a give and take on both sides right it's not just you have to do this for me um that I know that you can pick it up and I know when you're lacking in that area I can also pick it up MH yeah the dependability yeah don't get it twisted y there's SM finding somebody you can be somewhat of a lack of a better word burden to mhm all right guys send your
25:24 photo in resume and your uh bank accounts also dick size s and dick size yeah and what guns you got gun the dick size is always going to come first and the dick size you aspired to be six- pack don't forget six packs yeah six packs is good six packs are mandatory six pack of Corona both staff skills and a vline or the ████ gutters is what some people call them I call them ████ gutters what the ████ all right and uh that's when it's manto man what kind of Arsenal you have to defend your house maybe uh maybe next time we check in with Colleen she'll be telling us about how she met you wow Jesus clap clap
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