0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys where we are very careful yeah we gotta clap more so we were talking a little bit uh after the show yesterday and we were talking about like signs that you can tell when your friends or your like a couple that you know are maybe about to break up damn i actually had this talk with my dad um so this is fresh hot off the ████ press but my dad he sat me down uh last week and we just been having like more father-son talks this fool told me he's like you know i've been thinking i'm alone right i'm old and he's like i don't want to beef with your mom forever
0:51 and i was like oh ████ she goes i wanna beat your mom forever she's alone no point in having all this hate you know what i mean and i was like dad you and mom don't belong together we already tried it yeah and she's like what what do you mean whatever and i was like based off of your guys is like core personalities so this even goes i think even before the relationship but really understanding who you are and the other person is i'm like your core personality don't fit like you you like to grab life by the horns and control your own destiny right you're like this ████ happens i'm gonna move like i'm gonna do what a nice thing to say yeah right that's what my that's what my dad does that's cool my mom is literally like tell me my future please i'll do it anything you want me so i'm like that core trait if someone is uh i'm gonna do
1:41 some ████ myself the other person is always putting my confidence in someone else like you guys don't i always tell them like you guys shouldn't even have got together i should have never even been born but you're not even looking at it the right way okay okay they're sexist that's where you're wrong no no no obviously look at the ████ classic whatever that is that they made that was a jizz product that came out if i'm ████ human that was a jizz problem he already loves her right he's kind of like saying i ████ still love her in his own way right he's still ████ making you know but and bart shut him down and you don't want them to ████ deal with you and bother you let them ████ annoy each other that they're gonna bother him that's the thing exactly you're gonna bring him in as an intermediary that's exactly that's why i told my dad i'm like he's like wha what
2:32 could possibly go wrong oh everything everything possibly be at the end of the day mom's a chick right that is a good point that's a good observation they ████ complain ████ i'm like you think she's gonna complain to you nope she's gonna complain to me yeah so now it's gonna be this ████ three-way relationship where you ████ piss her off she doesn't know she doesn't you don't know what she's complaining about because she ain't gonna talk to your ass because you haven't talked to you for like three decades yeah your mom wouldn't complain to your dad three decades bro no cause she's closer to me all the ████ ████ she texts me she texts me for a reason so when he just did something wrong in the past she wouldn't even like call him out on she'll just hit you up she probably go i already knew because of ████ destiny [Laughter] says
3:22 that your dad's gonna piss me my husband is a ████ ████ hey what if your dad like cons a system and like pays a fortune teller to tell your mom that's like yo like you gotta spend the rest of your life with this man that's kind of sweet it doesn't work it's romantic mom got like six of those homies that's what i'm saying he got it like ████ grease all six maybe that's a lot that's probably cheap honestly no not until they know that everybody they're all competing for that they're all in on a racket together i'm thinking of the fortune tellers with the bars on the window and the neon sign and ████ oh i do it for two hundo my mom has a full jk news cast of fortune teller homies but she could probably have her own destiny just kidding destiny just kidding just kidding fortune [Music]
4:12 that's so funny i would watch the ████ out of that i'd rather watch that show in this show yo can you just bring your entire mom's homies in for like and they can do the hot seat for us they could tell us our fortune you know we should get a fortune telling you what is this i'm actually down to bring my mom on and we could ask her put her on the hot seat yeah that'd be sick oh that'd be so good dude we should put her on a mattress because bart ████ spent the first 12 years of his life we'll put bart next door on the mattress and we'll ████ interview i'll be way too scared if your mom was saying i wouldn't even know how to ask questions i would shut the ████ up i feel like i'm scared of your mom based on the stories you tell about you your dad would be different i feel like your dad is here
5:02 to be different but if it's your mom i'm gonna shut the ████ up they're actually the complete opposite so my mom like if you meet her she's like super bubbly and charismatic and nice right she's like this and then oh she's so friendly your guard's down and then she ████ seeps her ████ fangs into you she's controlling you like a puppy you don't even know my dad is like a grumpy asian man this guy's kind of mean but then he's like offering you soup every day and all that stuff this guy's actually really nice on the inside that's what i'm saying they shouldn't have been together dude i think opposites attract though perfect or they're perfect that's such bad i think opposites attract but there's there's definitely got to be like some very minimum core basics that they both share that are that will make them compatible but opposites attract i think because you know i don't know dating someone that's like exactly like you was like super boring yeah were there signs that your parents were about to break up like that you right out of my mouth i mean i was sick so i didn't i didn't
5:52 know i was sick i was so small wow not what i wanted to hear not what i wanted to hear yeah yeah wow how many breakups have you guys had is that what how many breakups how many breakups oh god i mean so ████ many you know the fact that you said it behind your mouth like this like so ████ man i can't even count man no we're like my fault no we're like her fault and do we count the relationships from junior high on i need to can i i need to pad my numbers nothing nothing under six months okay uh i'm out right i'm out or is there a relationship where like you guys got together and like even in the first part of it there were some signs that you're like oh this probably wouldn't work but like you know i'm gonna try to overlook it or try to work it out and then eventually that those are the exact same reasons why you guys broke up
6:42 i don't know what your question was i don't either wait i don't get wait can you clarify what do you mean because so for my dad right like if my dad's a very logical person from off the bat she he knows that my mom doesn't operate on lodge like when you have a poor trait it seeps into everything how you order food how you put clothes on everything right but then you're so infatuated that you just kind of overlook it you're like yeah i think that was all my relationships yeah and then just all of them so all of them you have red red flags and they're like oh this could work because i think ultimately i'm i'm probably leaning more toward an optimist so like when i'm in a relationship i always feel like anything can be solved yeah so even if there are red flags i'm like that can be solved and then get to i'll get around to it yeah yeah well we'll eventually solve it's like an eventual chore that is what you're saying right i'll kick it out of her system it's on the list
7:32 [Laughter] from your experience physically physically from her is that how you handle it though are you gonna kick her are you like i'll i'll deal with it later because i'm too much enjoying the present with this person yeah i mean like it's not that big of a deal i feel like maybe i can deal like maybe i need to learn something yeah it's like is that a red flag is it like a yellow flag yeah yeah that's true yeah that's true really fast we can go through it we can speed through it that's true yeah is it a pet peeve of mine or is it something that i need to work on because i'm like maybe i'm just annoyed because eh maybe it's just my thing you know i don't know i like the ████ it's too good to resist there it is [Laughter] depth depth depth ████ i remember i remember i'll tell you a story i was i moved to la with this girl and we were we're doing improv together and ████ and i remember
8:22 weird this stupid ████ with improv right so the short form improv right which is like the who's lines and anyway stuff and it's like two to five minutes of scene max and then there's long form improv which is like the herald it's like all this other stuff right who cares but when we moved to la we were the idea was to stop doing short form improv which just seems kind of hacky in the community and start doing long-form improv but then she comes she tries out for comedy sports la which was like you know it's like a big company right and so you go work there but you're doing short form improv and i was definitely i didn't even try out for it but i was ████ pissed about it because i was like we moved here to do long form improv why the ████ are you doing this hacky ass ████ right i'm just being a ████ stupid 22 year old kid like basically being insecure that she got into this theater company and i was maybe jeff i
9:13 think i was just jealous jealous jealousy jealous steve and then i i wasn't being supportive of her having done that i was being the opposite it's discouraging which is which was you know definitely an immature jealous stupid thing but i think that was a big sign that we were headed towards breakup zone is not having her back being very like like petty and stupid about something so that was more on you and you recognized definitely not it was all on me it was all on me i don't blame her at all because we ended up we ended up breaking up and she ended up dumping me right and i think that that's something i look back on and i go oh man i definitely was just being jealous of a ████ and but i didn't know how to articulate it articulate that and i don't think i was being honest with myself about what the true thing was behind it today's video is brought to you by babble
10:04 so right now i've been missing some international travel and um back in last july me and hannah went to mexico right so for our anniversary i took her to a mexican fair concert flash like slash outside bazaar slash shopping place food fair it was pretty amazing right and we were there and i feel like we were the only non-hispanic and we stuck out like a sore thumb but everyone was super nice they were just like oh cool you want to try this whatever and i really missed speaking spanish but i didn't want to be super like offensive but thanks to babel i was able to look it up real quick and get myself brushed up on all the stuff and be like okay i feel confident again let me experiment on using spanish with my fellow espanols over here yeah and then what happened it'll work they're like i speak english fools
10:57 i use babbles to learn english but no there was it was pretty cool because like you know they knew that i was just trying to practice and stuff and so they're super supportive but that's what i really like about babel is they have so many different languages that you can learn from what's really cool is they do it in these real quick 10-minute lessons yeah they're really quick and because they're so easy to digest you can start speaking and having conversations like in real life like not those crazy like super official words but actual conversational vocabulary words in less than three weeks and it was created by over 150 language experts yeah and they even have speech recognition technology so it can help you correct your enunciations you can pronounce things better and better and better and you can choose from 14 different languages like spanish italian french german
11:47 all kinds of languages right now you can save up to 60 off your subscription yeah when you go to babble.com off the record that's babble.com off the record for up to 60 off your subscription babble language for life essay i was being the stupid petty ████ who's just going didn't we not move here for the long haul improv what the ████ we're supposed to be doing ucb and all ████ and and then she's like getting distracted when you're doing ucb how stupid is this by the way it's really dumb you know your relationship is long-form improv [Laughter] as a herald i don't know what that means we'll bring that back later okay gotcha which is the joker especially after he said nobody cares when he said that that it is it's such a minor detail but that is the weird core that i built around that stupid excuse because it meant so much to you at the time it did it did and it's super
12:38 hard to see that at the time yeah but when you're in the situation like you're like kind of like what he's saying it's like there is a logic to what you're saying yeah if you were to take out the insecurity and the emotion bubble a lot like there's logic to that yeah like moving there to try and do something and pursue a certain way especially after having gone through it but then when it doesn't happen you're like what the ████ but obviously you're right now in retrospect but it's so hard to see that like it is you said you were 20 when that happened yeah yeah dude baby i think a red flag is when they start looking at you in a negative light so when they start making comments putting you down things like that that are like even in a jokingly way or like it's very small and then they start picking at things and and wanting to change you yeah when they mean it that's bad not breaking your balls no no like i mean i'm not saying they're like some red flags
13:28 divorce i need to i need to get out of here guys yeah we love getting our balls for sure it's ████ hilarious right because we're we're in that environment all the time but then when it goes down to like they're serious about hey you should be wearing this you should be doing this you should be doing this for your career and it's like are you my ████ mom what the ████ it's like what's going on and then i think they're dissatisfied with you as a human being they don't like you for you they're trying to change you into someone they want you to be and i think that's like the beginning stages of like get the ████ out of there that could also be a reflection of where they're dissatisfied with their own lives too right that's why they're taking it out on you instead of rejecting it yeah yeah or establish boundaries i'd say just pulling the ripcord on that is is a little maybe
14:18 extreme yeah what do you mean oh just if they're like hey you want to like start i want to start you know giving you ideas of what you should wear and stuff if you're like hey i like what i wear actually boundaries because it comes up it becomes well then it becomes like a like a i never want to change anything about my life which is also damaging i think because it's like because i've like dating different people you learn different uh things that like that they bring to the table they're like oh i didn't think about it that way or whatever but if i or like different you know view how they view the world stuff like that perspective and if you just say oh i don't want to change any way in the way that i think dress or wear or anything like that then you kind of cut yourself off to a lot of like growth you know for the future so i think that like yeah within reason like if they're if you feel like it's just them only focusing on the negative about you then obviously there's a red flag there but i definitely think that especially if someone cares for you then they're gonna
15:08 bring things up in a way that they're uh looking to like maybe help you out you know in certain ways the delivery that matters a lot and also the frequency and like you know where that's coming from if it's coming from a place of resentment or if it's coming from a place of like oh i want you know help you improve i really want to help you versus i'm just ████ talking ████ yeah cause like nagging nagging and constructive criticism is a very fine line yeah and it can be blurred really easily depending on who's giving and one is louder than the other yeah [Laughter] and one's more consistent yeah what happens all the ████ time even in my text messages hypothetically yeah yeah yeah in this scenario like you forgot to all caps what you just said i know the true volume of it your bigger passive aggressive [Laughter]
16:02 this might be like a dub but like in answering that question like signs that a couple like breaking up you guys uh have that friend who like you're always asking how they're doing and stuff like that and they're like i swear it's like years of like fights or arguments but they're sitting together yeah you know what i mean we're like you and your homies sometimes you're not trying to be dick but you're like maybe this is just pretty what i'm talking about but it just goes forever every single time you ask this homie like yo i had a friend like that i was just like i would every time i would see him i was like hey do you regret the girlfriend where everyone's rooting for them to split because it was like like super unhealthy are you cool with the chick too though mm-hmm were you cool with your friend's girlfriend too yeah yeah yeah i met her first actually oh wow but you were rooting for both of them to split they just were super like unhealthy every time i would talk to either of them because they were both my friends they were just like complaining about the other person i was like bro this is like this is not healthy like you all are told for this like you should break up
16:52 yeah yeah but they just both didn't want to do it because they're both really comfortable which i guess that's the worst yeah i've seen a lot of that ████ because yeah it's scarier right it's scary to like leave something that's comfortable and then you're also as like a third party friend too like especially because like um i i have some of those friends where i'm also like homies at long time friends with like their significant others so you're in the middle and you're like i care about everybody so my literal best thing to do is to not have an opinion yeah yeah you don't have to sit down stay out of it yeah you know otherwise like to do this you're doing this or to do this you're doing this and it's kind of like that's not the ████ point the point is just be like how can i be a support circle when somebody's having a hard time other than that i'm like it's not my ████ business but they were both like we should break up with each other and so then whatever they both agreed was like you should you should do that just like why don't you do that yeah they were telling you separately yeah yeah are they still
17:42 together or they're married no ████ no they're like they they broke up and i was like good for them i had to be extremely honest with a friend with with two friends um a couple years ago because they were um i was like it was like a group setting right a bunch of people there and then um this one chick friend of mine was asking for advice about this dude that she's dating and i was like oh yeah yeah he's a good dude oh ████ and then um this couple was like whoa what do you think about our relationship and i was like you don't want to know what i think about yourself i just told them that straight up because i had and what was their face when they when you said that sank a little bit but honestly it was just because i had mediated and stuff for them so many goddamn ████ times that i was like i am not doing this but yeah if they know that they're just like looking for weird
18:32 validation like no i was like boundary set it in your face it's your boundary right there i mean like outside looking in if i've seen relationships where both are like talking so much ████ ████ about the other the most ████ ever with a megaphone and everyone's just like why you still in there and they're still together and then i'm just like why that's just their love language ooh talking ████ ████ talking yeah do you actually believe that that some people are so toxic that they should just be toxic soul mates maybe because it's not necessarily like you belong together but maybe it's like you don't belong with anybody else who's not toxic so be together oh i never thought of it that way it's more just to keep the nuclear radiation away from the general population yeah you know what i mean it's kind of like you're talking about you whether you belong together it doesn't
19:22 matter we should weld them get a welding crew in there as long as they're happy toxic people deserve happiness dude i've heard such quotes as he is a lying piece of ████ i will never trust him again and then like the next week they're like yeah we're fine they figured it out i don't want to die so does that mean those aren't red flags if they're still together no they're red flags because they're just not normal people they're just not normal human beings they're red flags for everybody else's yeah well so yeah some flags are so red they're beyond the couple you know what i mean it's so red that the platonic friends are like oh my goodness they could even see but the real question they shouldn't be able to see it the real question is for those couples that
20:12 you could think of that are like very toxic in their minds they probably don't think that they are at all of course not for for a temporary amount of time they're actually going to deal with their real situation like their their long-term ████ up relationship they're actually going to deal with it and then they're going to smooth it over and go now we were fine everything's fine yeah yeah yeah we're tripping until the next detonation it's that post not clarity where you're like oh we need to fix this until like an hour passes post not clarity hits you so hard too it's it's a crazy force man sex of passion posting that clarity you're like dude i'll never trust you yeah do you ever look at the the whole day leading up to the post-net clarity and being like jesus i was jumping through ████ hoops man these hoops are on ████ fire dude like holy ████ sometimes posting clarity is like wow i just watched bambi getting ████
21:02 by a monster wait wait what my man you're watching the same porn as i am oh yeah i'm trying to figure out if that was like you like like describing yourself talking about bambi the cartoon bambi getting ████ by a scary monster that monster named steve green sometimes you're like yeah this is really really hot bookmark afterwards you're like i hate my visual images really ████ up you liked it until you tried it you know what i mean i'm like why did why what a thumper have to do with any of that that's in the name bro i haven't seen bambi in like ████ 25 years can you tell
21:54 [Music] you
// end of tape