0:00 All right, it's official, guys. We can now design our babies. >> That's sick as hell. >> That's crazy. What are What are the things you can do now? >> Well, so this is just kind of like obviously the big argument in scientific community because before you were already We were already doing this in a sense. We were already doing genetic testing. We're already trying to figure out ways to identify different chromosomes or things before, you know, we give birth to that child. We're We're already choosing through IVF and stuff like that whether we're having a boy or a girl. And then from there the slow seed starts to go like um from this ethnic makeup because this is the type of child I want to raise to this eye color to blah blah blah most uh effective for this potential IQ. So now it's become a much more regular concept. So it's now becoming a for the, you know,
0:50 ultra wealthy, if you will. >> When you said designer, uh I was just thinking about this baby going to have Louis Vuitton pants. >> [laughter] >> And then it's going to have some Off-White Kids Supreme T-shirts. >> sounds funny right now, right? I mean, what do What do we really think it's going to have like >> There's going to be design firms. There's going to be designer baby companies, bro. That's like, "Oh, is your baby a ████ Hermes?" Damn. >> Yeah, like that that company designs babies so well >> Yeah. >> that if if it's got that little brand mark on the bottom of its heel that this baby was designed by that company, that baby is auto elite prestige into every access and >> I almost feel like this conversation with plastic surgery kind of has to go hand in hand a little bit. Cuz it's almost like, do you design the human
1:40 later or you design it earlier? Right? You know, even with like the height lengthening and stuff, it's like, "Oh, I want my kid to be 6 ft tall." Well, if he's not, and then the kid wants to still be 6 ft tall, they're still going to be 6 ft tall. >> Okay, so let's say let's say it's not aesthetic at all and it's only based on human function. >> Yeah. >> Do you have physical metrics that you would design a human? >> Like oh, you can choose the IQ or like >> Yeah. >> Just for function. >> For function? You mean like someone that could run 10 miles? >> Sure, if if that's what you really really believe. I'm not saying we're dialing the miles. I'm saying this one this one type of human that I'm designing I want them to be at this height because that's the most like you know, appropriate for this society's like convenience. I want them to be at this type of build because blah blah blah.
2:30 Like I'm just wondering is there a functional >> So this is a this is would be crazy because I obviously if I could, I would have designed out my type of seizures. A million percent, right? That's like the one thing. The other part I think about becoming a human cuz like you know, you have like cases like Spud Webb, right? He's 5'3, got in the NBA. Had he been 6'3, may not have got he might not have even worked as hard. >> Absolutely. >> So you never know like with like the actual result of a human being, you never know if it was nature or nurture or if it's because of the handicap that gave him the other superpower. >> Yeah. >> You just never know these things. So when it comes to like stuff like that, I think I'm more of a hands-off person and I think I'm more of a um a development the intangible development
3:21 part is what I think actually produces who this human is going to be versus the physical equipment or materials. >> Oh. >> I want to design um one elite child and then another one I'm going to have all the disadvantages. >> [laughter] >> Those are your two kids. >> your own experiment. >> And then [clears throat] so I'm going to have my ████ elite child like everything like beauty, strength, IQ, everything, right? >> Damn, beauty. So the other one you're just going to have straight up hunchback of Notre Dame? >> Not that bad. >> Come on. >> Like a unibrow? >> He started with beauty. >> No, I DON'T WANT A UNIBROW. [laughter] >> HIS LIFE IS OVER. >> I don't want to be that mean, but what I would do >> Just like a ████ wart? >> I would do everything below average by a little bit. So, whatever the average is,
4:12 average height, average beauty, average IQ, I'll just do slightly under. Slightly under. >> Four out of 10. >> That means they also have to be twins if you want them to have the same upbringing. >> Like fraternal? >> Fraternal twins, yeah. >> Dang, so you're just trying to test yourself. You're >> [laughter] >> Just an experiment. >> Halfway through the experiment, he's like, "Why the ████ did I do this?" >> Halfway through he's like, "Oh, I understand the outcome. I like the beautiful one more." >> [laughter] >> And I'm trying to do mental gymnastics because they're smarter, they're nicer, they're prettier. >> I want to experiment like if this person has something to prove, will they actually accomplish more? If something is kind of easy, would they actually use all of it and be elite? And that's I'm going to love them both, but I'm
5:02 going to force them. I'm going to be like, "Hey, beautiful guy, you have all the privileges. You got to take care of ugly guy, okay?" >> feel like that you could just witness like human history and data on beautiful and ugly people for like centuries and just countless data to see like how the world treats those people. You have to sacrifice your only child experience to just do your personal experimentation. >> Hell yeah. >> All right, ████ it. >> What's the point of having designer baby? That's like, let's just watch other people have dogs. ████ that. I'm going to have them my own dog. >> But what about what about you're not worried that when your kids find out you designed them that way that one of them hates your guts after? >> Yeah, like, "Why'd you design me like this?" >> Why'd you design me below average? >> [laughter] >> You explicit I see the prompt. I see the AI prompt. You wrote below average in every category. Why didn't you tell Al- Why'd you tell Alvida make a swap meet
5:53 bag? >> [laughter] >> Why'd you make my twin better at everything? >> Cuz I'll be like, no matter how below average you are, you're still above me. That's why. >> Yeah, but my twin's above above you. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> Triple above. But that I'm going to create that to see who wins. What What do you think your gut feeling is? >> My gut My gut feeling? >> Like which one who's going to come out on top? Pressure creates competitiveness and character. When you're given everything, you don't want anything. That's my I actually think I've seen that multiple times. >> You You know what we have kind of seen or at least learned is that the ugly one the ugly sibling they're always going to have a pretty tough life. That's just how it is. There's no there's no happy ending for them. I'm
6:44 sorry. The pretty one because they have an ugly sibling, they're just a nicer person. >> That's ████ >> Cuz they have more empathy. That's all That's all we learned in all the >> Hell no. Siblings are mean to each other. >> The ugly one still is ugly at the end of every movie. You can't change ugly. >> You cannot. >> You can change your attitude. >> You kind of >> You can change your You can Okay, well, if we're going to surgery Well, now we're He designed it ugly. He started at the ability to have it come out pretty. >> Hey, not Quasimodo, below average. Just invisible. >> Invisible? >> Cuz there's ugly, there's average, and then there's invisible. >> That's true. That's true cuz there's visible ugly and that's worse. >> Yeah, you're so ugly people go, "What the f███?" >> Invisible's more like, you know, like I didn't notice you like, "Oh, did I hurt your feeling? My bad." >> Yeah, invisible is like you're below
7:35 average. You just look like a NPC. >> But even if you feel like you're traditionally not not good looking, there's so many things you could do that could like bring you up a couple points. >> Well, not if they're a daughter. >> I think that's the pressure he's talking about. If like in one area you're lacking, then you work a little bit harder to overcompensate, and in that part is becomes your like leading trait. >> And that's the thing about the development, right? It's like part of the thing about when you hear about the designer baby stuff, it's like yeah, it would be cool in theory, but I'm kind of a firm believer of like there's no such thing as like free lunches, you know? It's like as soon as you try to change something like that, like in nature nurture stuff, and you change too much, or you try to you know, bend the rules a little too hard, I feel like you get a rebounding effect on the other side. You may You just don't know what it's going to look like. >> Especially with biology. And especially
8:26 in biology, there's no free lunches. >> And you just don't know what's going to happen. It's like, yeah, in theory this could work. Like, yeah, it could be great if you could Like in in my head I was thinking, I was like, okay, if I had a designer baby, I'd make sure my baby is not blind, cuz it's like I'm blind as hell, and that doesn't help me in anything. But then again, you're just like >> You just took away a Stevie Wonder of the world. >> Exactly. You know? Like >> But I would take out these just so >> Yeah, like like health conditions like that, you're like, dude, if you could just take that out, that'd be ████ sick off the top. But after that, I'm not touching the >> Okay, this is the it's the 9-minute mark of the video. This is where we stop doing like the good boy ████ >> where we pull out our dicks out. >> Yeah, yes, pull out your dick. >> That's what I've been trying to do this whole time. >> We're just trying to we're trying to Thank you, Joe. You have been superior. That being said, uh let's let's mod these babies out. Let's really >> ████ yeah! Turn them into F1, dog. >> Okay, I'll start simple. I'll start simple right now. >> I'll start simple.
9:16 >> I just I It's my turn, ████ All right, so uh I have a daughter. It'd be very convenient for me, but keep it keep it a not a keep it real, not sci-fi ████ That's crazy. >> [laughter] >> Oh, really? >> Yeah, that's crazy. >> Yeah, you can't ████ like she gets a cut and she just heals or whatever. >> No, I was just going to say her eyes her eyes were like mood ring, so like I could always see the color of like how she >> That's sci-fi ████ No, no, it's a normal real with this prompt. What what can they do? Actual designer ████ >> to make a kid weird. >> Would you want to make your daughter beautiful where it makes guys go crazy, or would you want her ugly as ████ so guys don't >> So I can super designer her like that? >> Whatever you want. >> super design I I want to play in the rules before I ████ get shot down. >> Designer, super designer. >> Okay, I'm down for her to like not be really uh attractive at all until like sophomore year of college. >> All character building. >> And then and then late blossom.
10:06 >> That's cool. >> Late bloomer. >> Ugly duckling style. >> Yeah, I don't want her to be ugly. I just want her to be like below average invisible. Do the She's All That thing where she's wearing glasses her whole life and then she gets contacts her sophomore year. >> is she going to be? >> Perfectly in between me and Nina. >> Really? What is that? >> Uh Nina's 5'2". I'm I'm 6 ft, so 5'5" 5'6". >> Okay. Why don't you want her taller than you? >> Well, big ego, dude. >> I don't think I care if she is or isn't. I'm just I think if it's you're going to throw designer at me, I think the idea of having her be like the exact um kind of version of me and Nina in between will give her like a just something cool. >> If I was designing a designer son, that ████ would be like 6'4" like 6'5". >> I think if I had a designer son, that's different cuz now I'm going to project
10:56 things that I wish I had on myself. >> to do 5'5" so I can kick his ass. >> [laughter] >> You'll be short forever, loser. >> You want your son to kick your ass? >> No, because I'm going to raise him right and then he's going to be like my Rottweiler. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. >> Fine, I'm going to design a son. I'm going to design a son who can ████ whoop anybody's ass. He's like a beast, but I know his Achilles' heel cuz I gave him one. >> Which is the Achilles' heel? What are you going to do? >> It's not No, I'm not going to tell you. He has a cold name. He has like cilantro. >> [laughter] >> I just got to press a certain spot like on his body or something like that. Uh you know what I'm talking about? >> Yeah, yeah. >> Yeah. >> So you want a super soldier. That's what I want. >> Yeah, I want a super soldier. But like he's completely complicit to anything I ask him. >> Woah, so you just want a weapon, dude? >> Yeah, that's Yeah, I want a weapon. >> I want a noble son. >> Suddenly, super soldier and weapon are not the same thing. >> I want a King Arthur. >> I would design a universal Like this ████ hold his breath for like 5
11:46 minutes for no reason. >> You telling me about but he overheats, so you got to be butt naked in front of the fan. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> I I would make my son bulletproof, dog. >> Bulletproof? What the hell? >> You know, I would make him You know what I'd make him? >> to do keep it to to not sci-fi. >> Okay. >> My breath for 5 minutes universal soldier? >> Honestly, I would my I would want my son to be like uh the liquid guy from uh Terminator 2. Yeah. That'd be sick as hell, dude. >> Okay, suddenly I can't have ████ mood ring ████ eyeballs and stuff with T-1000, brother. >> T-1000 is way better than mood ring, though. >> That's sci-fi. >> Mood ring is foolish, bro. >> Well, I was so I was a ████ stepping stone, brother. >> Mood ring was a pipe dream. >> Tommy, you can't just jump to T-1000. What happened to T-f██████ 900? >> Dude, I want my son to have knives as arms, dude. That'd be sick. >> Edward Scissorhands. >> [laughter] >> They're going to cut up Tiff when you when she when she gives birth. >> Ah, you train him, dog. You train him. >> What you thinking about Tiff's vagina
12:36 right now? >> ████ sci-fi then the my my designer son can see the future. >> [laughter] >> Your mom's going to love that. >> See, that's more fun. >> That's >> Your son's a precog? >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> No, that'd be dangerous. Imagine a little kid Imagine a little kid at dinner just having a vision and it like that'd be crazy. That'd be That wouldn't be that fun. >> that can see the future always weirdos, though, man. They don't have a good life. >> Yeah, they don't have a good life, you know what I mean? You don't want to be Bran. >> [laughter] >> Everybody's just like that's the crazy one. He's like the raven. >> Yeah, I know. I'm all good. >> You ████ up with your designer choice. >> When you come out when you come out with the uh when you have the future and you have it's bad news, you're a bummer. >> That's got to keep it non-fi. >> Yeah. >> Not sci-fi.
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