0:00 [Music] and everybody welcome back to another awesome episode of the careful boys where we like to keep it extremely careful very careful super careful maybe not but we have a very very uh fun and serious question at the same time that we want to discuss this came up in a car ride yesterday and we felt like sharing the depth of would you guys i know bart's in a different category why what was this about finish are we doing western rules or eastern eastern okay international would you like to have children if so how many and why yeah bart would you like to have children yeah bart you're gonna have kids now that i have one i made a big mistake wrong wife huh yeah yeah yeah no ideally thanks for sharing i think ideally um
0:52 probably two so we are trying this year but i think just having like you know like having someone that they could play with what inspired you for the second but didn't you guys say you were done why did you lie why did you lie why did you change your mind you ████ played with our hearts on youtube you lied to your audience who lied to us you lied to your family i'm still stuck on your first forever just shows a lot of character i guess well i think that i built a career off the line so i just want to continue that just keep it going what inspired the second um i think we've always wanted to we just didn't know so like the big like thing is uh you know you're always trying to like this is how i felt like our childhood was these are some of the things that our parents could have done better so when you're a parent like you're always trying to go like okay how can we make it better than the last generation right so i think for us from the get we're like we want to have to but the minute that we had one and we
1:43 realized raising that one is already twice the effort than the way our parents had them then we're like oh ████ with our schedule and just how busy things are like if we have two it almost feels like it would dilute the attention of the one because of the way we want to raise them in 2022 you know because i think back in the day it was cool to just have kids and then like uh where's the grandparents at there you are see you later i'll see you ████ that sounds wonderful still people could still do that by the way hell would do that but i think uh yeah like in this generation people are really trying to like be nurturing be there for them so i think when we had one in reality hit we're like it's gonna dilute attention away from taika he's super cool um but just kind of like as geo's about to hit that expiration date she's geriatric yeah we're like yo it's a wall bro we're like i found out that a geriatric pregnancy is actually after 33 or something like that
2:33 was geriatric pregnancy then yeah but we're like but to further joe's point geo is geriatric yes so we're like we've seen like swiss cheese turned into like provolone and it's about to be blue cheese oh wow what are we gonna do what are we gonna do the next thing you just throw it away yeah i know so we just did last year this is the the like the day old bread phase of it it's getting hard it's getting hard it's getting real rock hard and then you can't really sell it tomorrow so i think this year we're like if it happens awesome it was in the cards if not it's still totally cool because that's true taika is really cool that's tight that's cool man what if he wasn't really cool yeah dude honestly what if the second one comes out and you're just like ████ damn roe v wade just ████ got overturned i don't know if that'll fly after they come out
3:24 is that how it works i mean ████ boy or girl uh it doesn't really matter if you had to boy for sure what another boy if i had if i was like if i could choose then i would be a boy because taika is such a like like boy type character i think having a buddy that was on the same wavelength you want an exact same isn't that kind of like his cousins already though you know what i mean like you wouldn't want and that's why i think that would be that would be cool because he only gets that when we're here and when we're back in vegas i'm like man he's missing that kind of energy there's no like boyish voice in vegas nope boys boys like his friends yeah like whatever you say like like we're talking about like he he only gets that with his cousins oh i mean like at home in the home environment like jiu-jitsu yeah he's like boy and girl they're all like having a good time school having a good time but like in
4:15 the home environment he doesn't have the like you know like boy camaraderie yeah like ████ just wrestle in the room for no reason yeah and ████ smash your legos and you smash my rc car is it doesn't yeah i so i'm right now i'm probably like his buddy um but then you get tired sometimes you know so you're like it'd be cool if you're able to go here like i go to jill's brother's house and i go in because he got four kids and i'm expecting ████ he has a fake titty out to like breastfeed and he has to do this he's washing dishes i go in and this was just there like watching like old school military documentaries and ████ and i'm like what the ████ and i heard that's the good thing about having multiple kids they just take care of each other and then like you see like these two kids fighting already right and they're
5:06 like both four the older sister who's like only eight already knows how to sort the problem like she's on her ipad and the two kids are like okay cool and they just run off you know like it has so much more chain of command before requires appearance plus i think you're a good example of this only children are pretty weird that's very true yeah i'm weird as ████ it's because only childs get they don't have to compromise for ████ they get everything they want a lot of attention they got all the attention they know how to ████ share i feel like they're late all the time as well so my other friends who are only childs i'm like oh i don't want to hang out with you anymore dude sound of a ████ yeah you guys are ruining it are you going to do kids joe oh hell yeah oh duo i would have already
6:06 dead to rights you're going down you son of a ████ to me it's always been a money thing right if i had mad ████ money like a trust fund kid or whatever and i was just never worried for the rest of my life ████ dude i would have already had like 10 kids that i did that's where you would spend your money on no i just feel like i don't want to be a deadbeat dad in that way so he wants to be able to afford child care so when he leaves the ladies yeah i want to be present you just want him to be provided i'm a 1950s dad so like uh i i'll i'll pay for i want i want to take care of my son yeah take care of my son your kid has a flu you like you give him a cigarette you'll be fine not enough doctors it is my zama lose three anyway yeah i think that would be pretty cool um but the logical side the reasonable side
6:56 comes in and they're like i just see like bar and like all my friends with like kids and ████ i'm like ████ dude that is that is just a lot of like personal sacrifice that i'm not ready to give just yet but thank god hannah's not geriatric yet we got a couple of years yeah still in the swiss cheese face she switched blue cheese yet so uh i might create and and and do cream pies but we'll have to take uh uh year by year we have to see we're still growing this relationship it's still new you know but if i did have the money though probably been ████ busting nuts first week without birth control easily yeah multiple children with ████ baby mama suing me that that's that would have been my life i'm glad you're still doing cream pies though that's good i know it was either either children or cream pies you know what i mean maybe i'm just not a potent human being because i ████ did a lot
7:46 of cream pies yeah i got very lucky you shouldn't just be a baker i'm a cream pie doughnut kind of guy but oh god very anytime you bring donuts to them joe's house is called winchell's open 24 7 baby i do love you but real talk though i do want kids like i ████ love the energy of uh i just like people right and then that that they're small even better even better cause you can just pick them up and ████ toss them and throw them and kick them or whatever you like small people oh but we all we all do you like punting children just having the energy of a lot of uh just human beings in the house it makes it lively yeah and i always grew up with that like i had a in my family it was my mom my dad my grandma my brother me and it will always have guests or family members over and then at one time we had uh my my um
8:38 my aunt and her family in one ████ house and that was one of the funnest memories i've had and i think that energy is just so much more different than an empty house of just like some people who are introverts love that ████ but for me i like chaos it's just wake up chaotic this is always just never boring you know there's a lot of stimulation and um yeah and then also like right now might be a burden but i think about the future future where i'm a grandparent and then the holidays are around and then you just see your legacy you just see all these people just fighting in the over the dinner table and you're laughing yes and you're just like this is what i made that's why i could see you being an uncle yeah i could see you being uncle jeff like you're you're uncle joe so you would just show up for the for the christmas and be like everyone's
9:28 here's some here kids hear some ████ firecrackers have fun watch this from the side it is harder this generation i feel like compared to last because in the last one it's like the the the sentiment is the minute you have kids you give up your life or your passion and it's all about them right like i definitely felt that from my parents like the minute they had me like it was their focus was on me but i think in this generation where there's a lot about what's your identity and like what what your passions are and people they go uh i gotta find myself in ████ whatever right finding yourself it's not even a concept before yeah they're all thinking survival yeah that's all there's there's nothing else yeah so now if the minute you have a kid you're like oh ████ i gotta i now you gotta split your your pursuit in two channels so my friends that are my age uh that say they don't want kids i'm like i totally get it too because if
10:18 you're not done pursuing what you want to pursue the minute you have a kid it's going to like put the brakes on it i kind of like that too because i kind of like that people are also not feeling like they have to have kids it's like a box to check yeah it's like a thing where they have to like oh well i just gotta have a family now that's what i have yeah even though i'm an alcoholic guy guys i have to do this i think it'll i think it'll fix the marriage if we ever get yeah you know like that ████ oh my god we know people like that that usually works yeah yeah so i'm just like it's kind of better because now i feel like a lot a lot more kids won't have to like exist in that space which is like what raised a lot of very interesting but maybe a little ████ up people that we currently know so i have a question for joe specifically if you guys have kids are you going to raise them british are you going to raise them american goddamn america so we talked about geographically and culturally too yeah what kind of accent
11:08 are they going to have so healthcare in the uk is free and um their ████ birthing program all that ████ is pretty sick because out here since it's a business they just try to crank out babies and so they encourage c-sections way better you know all that out there it's completely free and they take as much time as they need to do the process good we're like that when the baby pops out the mama gets to ████ hold the baby all this ████ and then like they don't just rush you out of the hospital yeah so it's a different vibe and i was like but if you do ████ all of this like you know socialized care isn't it like cheaper quality and she goes no it's like the school system here in the u.s right so some neighborhoods are rich so the school system even though it's public it's sick and in some places are poor so the hospitals or it's the same concept out there so you you're in a good neighborhood you have a good hospital
11:58 and i was like all right and then the other thing is she has a huge ████ family huge right and then so she has three uh brothers and on top of that hella cousins hella aunts all that and they're all down to help um for me i have a geriatric ass mom ████ practically a fossil at this point she lives in japan right i have some family members here in america but i don't know how i'm gonna do that yeah so for the first one we're like uh uk is probably the the the place to be but we'll see after that and see like all the the possibilities of like ████ maybe doing it in every state so we have a kid with a different accent every time but think about the downside of that because yeah your kid having a ████ accent you can barely even understand what they're saying that could be really bad especially because they're northerners so they don't even speak like ████ london british harry potter peoples i'm just like what the ████ are you saying
12:48 you peaky blinder ████ they're like pop i'm absolutely gutted burning them yeah falling out of this spot you're gonna teach your children white privilege because they're gonna be lucky i'm gonna hate my colonial as ████ halfers dude you know what japanese were colonists too so i guess ████ it's kind of romantic right yeah that's true it's a little poetic yeah i guess so you should just name your kid colony or something call me colin colonial just to make it clear colonizer what are you nick we talked about it we we're you guys been married for a long time you i think your relationship is the longest one here huh now that you guys probably have well we've been together for like 12 years but a lot of the a lot of the first
13:39 beginning of our relationship was like you know we were still like young adults we were ████ babies ourselves too you know so you know we're thinking about maybe in a couple years trying but i think tiff really wants to have a baby how many you like one or two probably two maybe like but you just never know how ████ life you know shakes out you never know just say dude what do you want man yeah i want kids i think everybody's like two i think two would be good yeah two would be solid yeah it seems manageable in my head but then again i've never ████ had a kid so what the ████ do i know that life's crazy like yeah jill's brother they were trying to have kids for i think like eight years old right nothing and then they're like ████ man ate your cream pie yeah and then and then boom boom boom yeah so like the boy came the girl came and then twins and he's like holy ████ it's like trying
14:30 to get the saucer machine if it doesn't work you're at the vending machine and you're trying to like knock out your just like you're like stuck like snack and then it like falls over before you break the glass oh god because they're about to accept it they're like i guess it's not for us yeah and then it was like it's funny how that works right that's what was playing jenga with his ████ birthing process man once again ryan with the rich people problems though he's like yeah and what are we gonna do with all these snacks for free like give them to the homeless steve i help uh boy or girlfriends if you had to choose i honestly don't really care um tiff has more of a preference but what about even about one percent even about what point one percent though you know in my head in my head a boy has its own particular issues and then having a girl has his own particularly obviously which set of issues do you want to deal with though nick's deflecting again
15:20 i thought you opened up what happened really i really don't know let's pull up some better ones complaining one's gonna break ████ yeah exactly like to me it's like ████ it's right down the path you know it's like it's it's they're both gonna be pains in the asses of their own ways um so it's like it's like a split it's like it's it's it cancels each other out but typically i don't want girls right but i think they're very useful so the first one i would say girl because they're gonna take the burden off of you for being the third parent i think so first one's the girl i've seen that happen yeah rest of them girl boy girl don't ████ matter dude i think girl's a piece of ████ it's just super selfish then you ████ up as a parent right you did then you ████ up i've never seen it when a girl doesn't ████ kick into gear and treat her siblings as barbie dolls yeah for real for real it happens that's what happened to my sister so if wants a boy yeah i don't care i just i would like to have a
16:11 balance i would like to have one of each in a perfect world but i don't care which one comes out first what if what if his boy comes out first boy wants to be a fighter what are you gonna say you're like you better pick something else dude why you better pick something else or if we do it if my kid wants to be a fighter we gotta do it the ████ right way like we're gonna be doing like we're starting at like four years old and we're like we're gonna make this kid ████ legit at the same time yeah we gotta go to dagestan bro i'm gonna get the ████ chin strap beard and everything i'm speaking russian so you're not gonna push him into fighting you know nah bro like i thought i'd push him but he's gonna have nothing but fight posters all over the wall he's gonna have all his fight friends come over all the time like both of my kids no matter what both of my kids are gonna do some sort of martial art they're gonna be wrestling they're gonna be doing jiu jitsu like they have to be competent in that like that's a pre-wreck no matter what boy or girl don't matter they have to have those skills already i don't care if
17:01 they read but like they have to learn how to grapple and protect themselves yeah but they can beat up nerds who can read exactly and that's when it works out dude because i can't help them with reading that's when tiff comes in oh you're honorary you gotta punch in the head too many times i was on hooked on phonics when i was in second grade you know i looked on back shots some other jeans are really strong man like i think like taika just has like this bunny jean because uh like now he understands timing and stuff like at night well me and jill put him to bed every single abc's whatever and then we turn off the lights and then at the right before we leave his room he goes hey we're like what he goes good night barton geo a little fun oh my god who is this sitcom who's writing the sitcom he's a sitcom kid i'm like what the ████ did this guy crazy i'm like what he's a nut what about you anthony lee
17:52 you're over here asking all these goddamn questions you're the provocateur here that's all kinds of ████ yeah i would love to have children i would i would uh i would be so blessed because i i do have friends that like have been trying and stuff like that maybe haven't seen that type of success yet um love to uh to be completely honest i would love to quite soon um within the next three years soon yeah yeah for sure within the next three years totally because i'm geriatric you know what i'm saying you're not geriatrics i've been having kids 33 i'm you know jerry actually guys can be like 70. 65 technically but as long as yeah as long as we're all men yeah i would love to have at least two kids as well um i i grew up with only one older sister so i only know a two kid in the family situation
18:43 um i agree because i had an older sister i feel like uh i would want a a daughter first if i had to if i had the choice yeah uh in in the same way i think that a girl would be older brother just ████ with you non-stop that's very true yeah you're just the entertainment i would not mind uh a boy first i think even the idea of a uh you know a bigger brother to to watch over a younger because i would die if i had like a ████ dog that would be like the illest i think i think god would be like anthony you deserve a daughter for all your ████ stupid thoughts um so i deserve it true but i think yeah but i think i would love sex havers curse love to have a daughter and be like you know have that daddy's girl kind of like relationship um but it doesn't really matter what order as long as it happens i also think that because i only had a sister i like ended up like
19:35 subconsciously creating all guy crew dance team and like found found brothers like as like surrogate family members so the idea of having multiple like boys in the household or something like that is also ████ exciting to me but i have no idea what that's like all boys is nuts though it gets old you know what my ideal scenario is honestly uh do you follow mma a little bit or no just a little bit are you familiar with the diaz brothers i'm familiar with nate diaz but i would love to have a set of diaz brothers those fools are obnoxious but if you ████ with any one of them they got each other's backs like like there's this reporter that asked so uh at the time when nate didn't have as many losses they're interviewing like nick like um like if you guys were to fight like who would win and i think he slapped the mic out of that guy's hand why would you ask a stupid ████ question like that yeah and i'm like i would ask that question that's a good question yeah but the reporter got ████ scared i'm like that's that true brother love right
20:26 there that's that's like that insecure weird ████ i was like that sounds like mental illness there i like that kind of mental thing how about you oh yeah we won't have kids for sure but but we go back and forth so often we just moved to vegas it's like paradise like i feel like we live in a resort now so it's like god do we want to fill this house with the screaming baby so it's like vacation mode mine instead of like family mode mine or you could enjoy it for a few more years i mean yeah we'll we'll see because it's getting to that point like geriatric prediction ████ where it's like man we don't want to she's not blue cheese though we don't want to temp fate no i mean she's not like though the bread you can't even give the homeless people yet like jio you know but you know that day will come yeah but you can't have a kid get in the way of a poker career no exactly there's so much cool ████ going on she's just getting just getting going dude how ████ gangster that be though she's
21:16 ████ breastfeeding at the table and just ████ that's a ████ ball insane like it could be even part of her like strategy no he's putting chips on her belly knowing stupid knowing my nicki though she will go all in on motherhood good but but she'll give up on what she's really enjoying and i wouldn't want that yeah yeah so it's a shame she's not more like neglecting you know no she's a psycho bro when she go when she goes in on something she goes like all the ████ way in jackhammers it so i don't know well it's going to take some time because we're still really enjoying the ████ right now so that's awesome yeah we'll get there or we'll adopt or freeze our eggs or whatever no pressure or pressure either i don't care i mean we honestly we joke about this all the time but we kind of just want to have a kid just to see what our baby would look like and then have somebody else raise it for a couple years and then pick it
22:06 up when it's like cool like when tyka got fun tekka was so ████ boring at first that's one of our strategies yeah and then but with the picking tuck up when he's like four years old and five years old having fun yeah just with no connection to you at all just the first two years he's got just kind of wet dude yeah first two years like this just the ████ dumb worm that you're crying has a sense of humor you know with me it's way better all my nieces and nephews is the same ████ it's like they're so ████ boring and then now they're really fun you're just sitting there and there's ████ this drill coming out like what the ████ dude even day one so like you know my first niece was born and we go there it's like wow this is crazy and then it's like [Laughter] do a trick or anything just laying in a blanket rather have a cat did ryan answer no
22:57 answer oh i don't want kids right now there it is credits credits [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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