0:00 thank you [Music] yo the uh someone just set the record for the longest consecutive spaghetti 90 inches he made yeah spaghetti it's ████ sick check it out dude who is it get the ████ out of here dude why are you saying that the Guinness Book of World Records is such a ████ sham where's the meteor dude I'm ready send it 90 inches of one continuous spaghetti that's 90 inches is the pasta handmade no they found it you have to do they find her they make that huh yeah look it's handmade dude there's no there's no scale it's gonna be the smallest ████ noodles look at the lane you know what a spaghetti all right that is not a spaghetti you should put a spoon next to it or something that store
0:50 that store-bought pasta some kind of ████ ████ parasite that's Paris dude it's funny guys can we just be happy how come there's no marinery on it yeah there it is a little bit right there about to give them some other information yeah Ryan's going to be like yeah this just came out of a urethra yeah exactly this is a worm no that's medical ████ napkin this came out of so much dude Ryan were you part of the 1996 Olympic uh gymnastics team because that jacket is ████ fired [Laughter] I don't know I just noticed it right now I was like okay all of you ████ spaghetti caters all right I was just
1:41 testing you it's not spaghetti this is a handle-less jump rope that a man was able to stuff completely as you read through it oh that's what the red is it's a jump rope so I need to ████ buy a lotto ticket today it's a did you call that yes wait you said it was a jump roll no I just said it came out of a urethra yep good call so a 79 year old man took the handles off of a jump rope stuffed the entire 90 inches of jump rope into his ear wait a 70. it got stuck in his bladder they had to cut his bladder open kids you gotta quit the porn now you gotta quit now what does this keep happening this guy's like I can't even nut unless I removed okay I used to I'm gonna shove it in my car bro what's the appeal of shoving things
2:31 in urethra is there is there something because that's a king it's been happening a lot why don't you find out I'm so lucky that I don't have any kinks like this I thank God every day thank God everything I think a lot but one day I think I'm gonna be afraid that it does happen yeah you think one day it'll just be out of anybody here it'll be me yeah that's you bro how's your urethra size is it it's pretty tight yeah I think by default most of us are pretty narrow urethras I guess due to jump rope handle a jump rope handle that's rough all 90 speaking of which hang on did a doctor ████ pull it out and whip it and just started still good that's still good and the nurses come in like yeah my ████ blood's all flying everywhere
3:21 oh there you go that's what it looked like when it was in there so what happened is once he got all 90 inches of the rope in and it was just chilling inside of his bladder after you urinate your bladder contracts or something oh no way so then it started to do that magical thing like when uh airpod wires get tangled in your pocket and it tangled the Rope up so you couldn't be magical they should have just left it there how carefully I put it in my pocket it always comes out so now we know the same is true for jump ropes inside of a bladder that is good to know actually that is used look pretty healthy yeah for 79 not bad good too look at it yeah it's lighten up pretty good that goes to show that no matter what even at senior age men are still boys oh yeah dude yeah because we've covered stories with jump ropes yeah we've coached cover stories of kids doing this of teens of adults and now Jerry that's
4:11 right but a jump rope is thick rope has got to be a record but then you could stretch it out over the it could have just been yarn when he was young and as he Grew Older he's like now it's jump rope his old timer getting looser and looser with that age you know they're bigger and then he's looking over at the next jump rope which is that one with the beads on it yeah like look how much blood is on that thing it does look like the longest spaghetti you had me fooled for a sec you got a little hungry too licking my lips spaghetti because now I can like just [Music] after they cut his bladder open and they just took the whole thing out he made a full recovery no complications guys doctors like I don't know I thought it was I I thought I was eating spaghetti and it was a jump rope did he try to do
5:01 some ████ they didn't even I don't believe they even tried to get a story out of it the man did not explain why you know you know when they have like uh well they have like like murders or something like the sheriff will going like on the state and on the news you have like a press conference I think they should do that for stories like yeah where some guy has this conference for this I think so you gotta own up you gotta this is a PSA for the for everyone else the cops takes his Podium he's like ladies and gentlemen we got him and he steps up he explains them share with him that little factoid you just read it's a Japanese guy so you know his Yuri throw a small oh you're right and who's Ruth was again makes sense the Congolese thank you so he has a lot of stress right now yeah yeah I've seen those stats you know what as soon as you said
5:51 Japanese it made sense a 70 year old man would do this why he's 79. they're just perverted are they dude my grandpa used to kiss my wife on the lips it was weird what a pervert Yeah it's ████ weird do you ever get mad nah it's like he's gonna get a little moment of whatever but Jesus Christ is so did he did he add a little tongue nah he would just do like the thing but it was like Jesus did Nikki ever comment on it oh we talked about it the whole time what would you say she was laughing about it she's like yeah your grandpa like really likes me oh my God he knows did we have to kiss her on the top left or just the bottom what was that did he ever kiss her on the lip Center what are you saying about my wife she has respect for elders no it was it was
6:41 it was plead kiss it was like a a full both lips and I was like ████ I was like all right old man all right you gotta get yourself to be willing to do that too but she's partly responsible for that you think so yeah what was she wearing did she pull my wife aside tonight put a jump rope in your grandpa's dick teach him a lesson I would but he's dead makes it easier yeah yeah so Japanese guys huh that's a thing my stepdad's an old pervert he wants to go to the May cafes all the ████ time and my niece was like yeah he wanted to go thinking that I would love to go and I'm into this ████ she goes I don't ████ like this ████ but he kept begging so I went and she goes it was weird can you describe maid Cafe what happens it's like you know when there are a bunch of girls dressed up in high school girls dressed up in made outfits and ████ High School cafe food and then it's all it's all
7:32 weird in there that's so weird it's kind of mixed and the niece is like the same age yep basically and she was all like he he kept using me as an excuse but I knew he wanted to go I have to say high school girls are not what they used to be when I was growing up when I was in high school I was like going to get a haircut recently in Vegas I got stuck by the ████ high school and all these kids were goddamn walking across the street being little transient ████ like not using the lights not waiting just ████ running across the street constantly if you can't move and everyone's like so pissed in traffic and just seeing them they look like little I I can't imagine how I was ever attracted to high school girls yeah because they just look like little kids yeah yeah they're kids but but no they were hot when I was growing up yeah
8:22 like clueless now they look whack you gotta go to those main cafes I guess I guess now they look whack yeah dude they were so hot when I was growing up whack when I was growing up the description they're different I like older women when I was in high school I wanted college girls oh well yeah what was the oldest woman you were with when you were young when I was I was thinking 18 or 19 I was with a 23 year old and we lived together she was an older woman lived together she was old yeah nice okay we live together was it a 10 out of 10. would you would you recommend dating an older woman neither geriatric yeah I don't know I just in my head they looked more womanly because you're an 18. yeah and then if you're if you're going 16
9:13 they look like kids but then if you're like if they're like 20s they look like women just in my head at least when I saw a picture of myself when I was 18 I was like I look like a 14 year old boy yeah there's no way the the thing that I did is I remember when I was in kindergarten in first grade I got my first yearbook and I remember looking at the eighth graders and they looked like grown ass adults that you would see in like movies yeah and I was like really holy ████ and then I looked back and found the same yearbook and I looked at those same eighth graders and they still look like adults because I think what it is it's the style at the time it's the hair styles it's how they have their makeup it's eating fit mustaches yeah stick mustache that's exactly what this thing this I was watching this video it said that like the reason why old people still look old when they're young is the style it's yeah it's because you associate psychologically that fashion
10:05 with old right yeah yeah it's like nurses who graduated in certain years they have the like little cap with the Beehive haircut yeah it's like it always stays that era it's like kind of weird but now I don't know what these kids are going to look like later they look like they'll be kids forever I mean they just look like what we did in junior high like the same style is back a lot of the same throwback ████ they just look like they're going raving yeah well that and a lot of Pokemon trainers for some reason yeah a lot of ████ small backpacks so what's what's the verdict Colleen uh thick urethra Hot or Not come on don't make that face you're being judged yeah I'm just so impressed that Anthony guessed it hey Anthony knows how things work around here this has been happening a lot he's
10:56 got a Powerball he's got to get a Powerball I think this is like honestly this is like the fourth urethra stuffing this year wow dude there's so many I'm sure I heard that that's one of the biggest things of emergency rooms is people stuffing ████ in holes in their body from their ████ ████ dick ████ remember when I ████ Nikki into a nightstand yup went to the emergency room when we were alone in Vegas wait what happened you ████ her so hard he hit her in the head and they had to go to the hospital I was spinning that ████ around and like she smacked her head on uh on like in the hotel like on this like nightstand thing yeah and I was like oh ████ and then she's bleeding all over the place it was wild the opening plot to Fugitive I don't think she would have mined it honestly but the the blood is what stopped there yeah yeah there's so much blood that I was like whoa what the ████ past the point it's not hot anyway
11:47 brings it huh then he just turns off the light wow I was just I had long fingernails
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