0:00 [Music] hey welcome patreon people back to ████ up news the show that has real ████ up news sometimes and sometimes weird news today best intro this guy's good right i'm ringing off the teleprompter uh today we're talking about chinese parents putting molds on their babies heads so that they grow rounder what oh are they ████ cone shaping them with the elongated skulling them kind of i feel like this is old bro i don't feel like they do your skull isn't forming correctly they have those helmets you have helmets but they don't look like this though this is you kind of look like that kind of look like that this is covering the whole head the most ████ up thing is like people who were born like i think in our age that were like chinese you'll see a lot of flat-headed ████ chinese kids oh my god because their parents just left them without ████ heading to
0:51 them and so they would just sleep on their head the whole time then you have a flat back yeah that's why you see you see a lot of these like ████ chinese the ████ back of their heads check out barcelona his square all over though it's even that's a cranium bar's got a lego head it's a cylindrical shape like my mom bought the wrong one she put me in amazon yeah you're a cereal bottle yeah literally went to your head dude it's like it's all there she got the cheap one she wanted to be able to like slide the other hair and the other kids like just make him neatly like the square water tank's ugly and ████ up huh everyone's got a bart's ████ head is your korean side dude sorry man yeah so bad so parents are shelling out for each parents are showing out for helmets that they believe can help mold their babies heads into ideal rounded shapes so what do they like out there ████ they definitely don't like cemu lose face that's for sure he roasted that phone what did they say
1:42 about him he said he was ugly really yeah super unwarranted dude like the guy's just chilling in his room he opens up his ████ ipad he goes simulator's the ugliest person in china it's like what the ████ guy but they like weird-looking ████ they're aliens bro yeah i think it's because he has like a like a big face and they like the really tiny small like no like texture in your face have you seen those like those like makeup transformations where the girls like like do all that ████ with their like tape their eyes they were genuinely upset that he got casted for shang chi because they're like they're so much better looking chinese actors just like buddy i looked this up on quora is similar the actor playing shane chee and the new um you know movie handsome the answer it says simalu is not considered ugly in china nor very handsome he is a okay guy because there are tons of guys who look like him or have similar looks okay guys
2:32 that's absolutely brutal i think they probably want someone that looks like chris wu can you look up chris through with the case see that guy chris wu looks like a bts guy chris wu or like he looks very feminine or something i think i got k-r-i-s i supposed to like the crypto sorry okay k-r-a-s-w-u yeah they probably want someone less like him he didn't get arrested for like i was gonna say it's like yeah they want him but uh didn't he's like a rapist like him without his behavior probably was he the guy that got caught with all the ████ videos of the girls he was ████ with i think that's a korean person yeah korean thing i'll tell you this if if i if i was in trouble and he came to save me i say go home ████ so if you're if you're if you're on the ████ boat that the pirates took over and then the navy seals swinging comes in i'm here to moisturize your skin what's your skincare routine my guy
3:22 what's your night cream do you use toner first he puts blush on before he fights the pirates isn't this kind of how we feel about robert pattinson as batman it's kind of like he's not going to ████ hey this guy this guy i'd ████ this guy bro you ████ this guy i ████ this guy and i watched the uh trailer the pants in one i wasn't convinced i know right because everyone says watch the trailer and i watched him like i don't know i don't know i feel like in the trailer it looked like the suit was too big on him that's what i think like it looked like he was a little what is it is it because pretty boys remind us of kids like they're like boys robin robert patton centered over the ████ can i see i gotta see a reference he looks frail like chris woo he looks frail you know what i mean wait but what about what about uh pattinson in the lighthouse he's like much more rugged than the lighthouse well he's like creepy and ████ though and he's and he's next to willem dafoe anybody looks good next to them
4:13 well default looks malnourished my guy yeah this isn't the best shot can i see the the funny one that everyone's like man is not convincing me that's him but you have to see the trailer really to see him like he's like a skinny batman he's a skinny batman but like his skin tone just looks i don't all i like to say is i like the i like how they're representing what real men look like you know instead of like this ████ fake ass depiction of what men superhero i mean they're sending us expectations so high man we can't look like that eight feet tall ████ big ass chest you know ████ he just looks like elon musk he looks like he got like a jaw transfer he kind of looks like uh remember from batman begins like the scarecrow yeah silly silly and silly and murphy he looks like silly and murphy i'm with a young johnny depp right here dude he's like a harry potter wizard to me yes but he does who dies he does look like a lot like in this
5:04 batman he battles the joker and anemia if i was in the gang i wouldn't [Laughter] somebody give this guy a blood iron that would also be compelling you just can't bleed because you're just bleeding it's too long he gets all weak he's like i gotta sit down bruh my blood won't collapse give me an apple juice for me he does look like low blood pressure as a ████ doesn't he that's a low blood pressurization dude man blood pressure we need to spike this somebody give me a warther's toffee yo where there's toffee though let's go let's go apple looks like he's going to collapse off of sprinting for
5:54 20 seconds dude his face looks cgi in that though honestly why he looks so hungry he looks like uh jake gyllenhaal from night night stalker oh yeah he does dude jake jones performance in that though very good yeah jake gyllenhaal looks hungry too well that one in particular but he looks he doesn't look that like skinny enough in that movie he looked hella creepy he was like definitely super gone jake gyllenhaal would be a more believable batman didn't he do didn't he do some role where he got ripped though probably yeah he was a boxer southpaw that was a good movie too i liked it yeah he just looks too ████ under malnourished yeah exactly that's hemoglobin dudes with concave chests they don't look like they could save anybody yeah bro they look like they'll pick a girl up and then they will collapse christian bale was a dope ass ████ bat was good
6:44 he couldn't stop yelling at people one of my favorite batman but because he yells at people i'm like yeah that guy could save my life but the yelling was a little much i thought like the where are the jigs for me it's the bad voice it was very but it was a little much like keaton didn't need that yep yeah i mean he let the suit do the talk and kind of kind of i don't think anybody liked the voice change thing it's like you have all that money you couldn't get a voice modulator or something like which was sick about the athletic one yeah he's like it made sense you're a billionaire and he goes i guess i can't afford it you know like hey guess what we've matched batman's voice he's bruce wayne the same guy same ████ guy saying jawline you should have went high pitched instead of so low it would help you they should get a body language expert like i think i think bruce wayne's batman he's moving around yo shout out to violet that's true they have to say butt
7:35 ████ too you know it's like you could see that coming today i'm going to break down ben shapiro um so here he looks combative it's like yeah that's ben shapiro i saw a ████ thing on my youtube suggested that said ben shapiro reviews dude i was like i've never been less interested in a movie reviewing uh pop culture music is the funniest thing oh when you did the uh the nicki minaj song this is not music it's not the card yeah no exactly that's the thing you have to see ben shapiro you want to talk about not being batman hey what superhero could he play ████ robin dude he could be the riddler oh he's going to say the riddler he is the riddler huh
8:25 or the penguin maybe if he got fatter yeah yeah i would like to see him as bain scarecrow he could be scarecrow oh yeah that'd be a good scarecrow i'm sorry but dudes should not play the violin this is ████ up this is ████ up to me they're gonna ruin violin look at how he's looking at that violin the video looks like he's gonna cry there's a video of two asian violinists roasting this flow about the violence i've seen movies yeah i've seen it but like he plays the violin the way that he talks like super stiff like no emotion for nerdy damn it's almost like he's not you know paid as a violinist he's a hell of a thing to point out maybe he shouldn't be ████ thinking about how democrats are burning while he's playing this song i think you have more emotion behind maybe they'll be more passionate yeah he'd be like huh i love this i love this song i've watched so many democratic or like uh political debates it's hilarious
9:15 it's just crazy how how uh for sure people are about things that they aren't really involved in they're the best it's very odd they go this is how government you're not even involved in government yeah so why are you so sure about it yeah like how would you know that's playing the game because it's like that's like you have to like believe it in order to debate it like that strongly you have to believe it to go vote for it too right because some of these people bro they they go in the voting booth and they they come out and they get their sticker and they go on social media and they're like i just voted i did the greatest thing you could do and they ████ on you if you don't yeah and then they open their mouth and then politics s████ in their mouth and they're like thank you they eat it up don't love it i just don't understand and they did it olive off memes it's just kind of like how are you so how is everybody so sure about everything yeah like none of you have doubt in your mind at all no like everyone's crazy yeah [Music]
10:21 you
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