0:00 [Music] Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Careful Boys. Hey, did you guys hear about that recent United Airlines flight where 4 hours from San Francisco to China, 4 hours in the plane has to turn around? No, cuz the pilot forgot his passport. No, they had to turn it around. They had to turn it around. So, how the did he get through TSA? I have no idea. Uh my real idea, you know, you know what they uh compensated everybody? What? What? Like 100 bucks or something? 15 $15. What the They can't do that. Total some sort of like six plus hour delay or something like that. Oh, that's awful. Oh ████ I heard the the everybody sue all at once. The the plane where the wings fell off, I think it was
0:50 in Toronto, when they landed, the wings fell off and it flipped upside down and all the people had to get out. upside down. The wings didn't fall off. The wheels broke when it landed it and then it flipped around and then it was turning and then it broke the right wing and then flip it and hit the left wing. That's what I meant by the wings fell off. But they just fall off. Yeah. The point is they're upside down. We looked up how much they got paid. How much? Each passenger got paid like anywhere from 25 to 30k. Oh. So when I was landing when I was landing on United, I was like Let the wheels break and let nobody die. But you got to be like guaranteed survival. And then on top of that, too, you're like you got to be down to like kind of always be afraid of flying. I think I'll take that ride. I'll take
1:40 that ride. I'd actually be more um less afraid of flying. Well, that's because you also fly all the time. Imagine if it's somebody's like second flight ever cuz I'd be like, "Yeah, I can't be that lucky, right? where like if I almost died once, I'm probably not going to have another encounter cuz statistically like That's true. planes are pretty safe. So like I'm probably not going to run into another situation where I'm going to almost die. Murphy's law, dude. Just cuz you said that going to happen, bro. I was on a a really turbulent flight on this last trip and I feel like I've been on turbulent flights like you know I can handle whatever we've been through it, right? You ever been to like a twoft drop? Those ones are crazy where you catch air for a little bit. Yeah. You're like, "Oh s███." Where you catch some air. But I feel like you're kind of like a
2:30 product of your surroundings, right? It's like it's like that whole thing where if uh if you're standing next to somebody and they suddenly like, "Oh s███." Like you're going to duck your head too, right? You just like feel whatever everybody else is feeling. Yeah, that's true. I just live through the nearest black guy that's next to me cuz he'll vocalize whatever I'm feeling. Nice, sir. I feel the same way. So, there's this uh Oh, hell no. Remember that one? Yeah. You better land this thing. That's funny as hell. I'm on this window seat, right? And it's one of those situations where uh you know, I I go on in like zone 2 or some ████ So, I like put my bags away all nice. I sit in this window seat and then this girl, she looks like maybe she's I don't know, ████ 22 years old. It's a little Chinese girl. She comes up and then she sits next to me in the middle seat and
3:20 then the whole plane starts boarding and by the time the plane's done boarding, nobody's sitting in the aisle seat and then it's all the way to the point where the flight attendant comes and has to buckle the seat belt on the aisle seat because you know like every seat. Yeah. And and every other seat around is fully taken and this aisle seat's open. So in my mind I'm like, "Hey, over you want to sit in that chair?" That's kind of like airplane etiquette. Yeah. I didn't I didn't I didn't necessarily say anything because it's like kind of this like smaller girl and I didn't know like you know you should have bullied her a little bit but maybe she was like oo I ain't going to move. Yeah. She's like that's Anthony ████ boy. I was texting Nina. I like sent her a little photo. I was like this is open seat. I don't should I tell her to move like tell her to move. Tell that ████ to move. That's what Nina said. Huh. It was a Chinese girl. And then by the time Yeah. It's a little Chinese girl. She wanted to get to know you. Bro, what
4:10 does that mean, bro? What do you mean? Nothing. Nothing. What does that mean? Nothing. So, by the time by the time I work up my courage because I'm very very nervous guy, you know, and I like sent the photo and I was texting her. I look over and she's already like kind of passed out. I'm like, "F███." Had on your shoulder. Come on. I know that move. I know that move. My lap. No, I'm just kidding. Um, so now I leave it. I leave it as it is. And I'm like, "F███ it." Like, "We'll we'll see you later. Maybe I got to go to the bathroom. We'll figure it out." It's not a long flight. And then we take off and then turbulence happens. Well, actually, first before that, and now she's in and she's like before turbulence, right? There's a point where I'm tired, too. So, I kind of like doze off for a little bit and then we take off. So, I kind of wake up a little bit later. She's like she's kind of like convulsing a little bit, right? And she's wearing this hat. And I look under and she's just balling. She's like sniffing. She's balling. And
5:00 I'm like, you're like, "B████, can you move over?" Uh, the aisle is open. ████ Oh, you're crying, too? Oh my god. ████ Oh my god. This is the worst fight of my life. The ████ wolf will Excuse me. She won't move. Like, and she's crying. This ████ is crying. I can't watch Transformers 3 in peace. So, she's she's crying and I feel really bad. I don't know what's going on. Um, so I literally I'm like, "Are you okay?" And then she like notices. I notic. So she's like, she's like, "Obviously I don't like I'm not fluent like that." Then move over. That's crazy. Follow me on Red Note. If you're
5:50 okay? Okay, move over. So then I'm like I'm like I try to see if I I have no tissues or anything. I'm like, "You sure you're okay?" I like close the window. I don't know if there's like, you know, anything going. I I was just like, "All right, I'm here. I'm just trying to let her know I'm here, but this is interesting." So we chill and then the turbulence starts kicking in. Wait, so it hasn't even kicked in yet? Hasn't even kicked in yet? And the turbulence kicks in and that's when you you don't want somebody like stiff arms to see in front of you and they're just like hyperventilating. I'm like, "Oh ████ Oh ████ We're going to crash." And I'm like, "This is the most dramatic window seat I've ever sat in." That's so funny. Tears exaggerating. That made me on edge. Like there was no point where I could get comfortable anywhere cuz like the person that you're surrounded next to or like in bar's case the black guy
6:42 like you're just you just feel what they feel. Bonding for real. For real. Yeah. And she's full stiff arms. She's like she never intended to sit next to the aisle seat cuz there's nothing to ████ brace. Maybe not. Needed to be somewhere close to something. She also never intended to like wipe her face. There's just nothing but like dried tears and ████ like that. Nut all over her face. No. You know what was happening? Yo, dude. She was really like playing it up cuz she's like she wanted you to ████ hold her, dude. Hey, what if she was crying? You know, you know how she Why didn't you hold her? Yeah, I'm still stuck on there nut all over her face, right? Honestly, that's ████ up. You weren't like Why do you hold her to turbulence? Hold me. She wanted to sit on your lap before the turbulence. Yeah. Come on. Oh, that's a good move. Sweater. Yo, what if what if she was crying and
7:32 you said she was crying before the turbulence. What if she was crying like I see the future like Final Dest. [Laughter] Do I make it? Do I make it? Dude, that's crazy. Hey, Final Final Destination ████ me up for a while. That That one. That's why I never seen that ████ Big ass oversized trucks. I'm always like never drive behind it. Never never ever ever. So how did So the whole flight she was just tripping the whole time. She was just tripping and then literally after and the turbulence was like 10 minutes. You know when it's like abnormally long. How long is this flight? Yeah. It was probably like a 2-hour flight. Okay. Thank God. It's like an in between flight. 2 hours. Can you imagine like 16 hour flight next to
8:22 her? Yeah. And then the craziest thing is like after this this turbulence chapter, she just ████ passed out. Like nothing happened and she was conked out the whole rest of the she got so tired exhausted. I'll speak on my people about this. Chinese people, the ultimate superpower is being able to sleep anywhere. That's my superpower. That's nice. I'm very envious anywhere and then just be like, "All right, I'm ready to go." Chinese people. You sleep on a plane and wake up and feel rested or for like for like a couple hours. I do. Later in the day, you feel it, you know, but like in that moment you're like, "That was a good nap." Yep. Every time I go to Hawaii, I'm always ████ love. Mouth's open, too. I'm snoring. I'm ████ plain. Dude, I'm gross. I think plane napping, especially during the takeoff, is one of the best types of naps. That's what I'm talking about. I can't. Our last flight, we had a we had a fly in
9:12 out of Cleveland at like 6:00 a.m. So, we pretty much got to the airport at like 4:00 and I was like, I'm just not going to sleep tonight. I'm going to sleep on the plane. I slept on the plane. I felt great for a couple hours and then I felt like ████ Hit or miss on the plane. I don't know. I never sleep good on a plane. That was nice. And sometimes I'm like, this is ████ the worst experience in my life right now. But that's also because I'm like often times knees on the back of the person. Oh, cuz you're so tall. Y'all got them long femurs, man. If you went though, at this last flight, I was explaining this to Tiff. I explained to her like there's a rule of how people sit in each like seat, right? I was in the middle and when you get in the middle, I've heard that you get access to both. You do. Oh, yeah. You get arm. You should. You should get it. You should. You should. Tiff's in the She's in the window. So, she's leaning over cuz everyone gets at least one then homie. I was sitting next to this little
10:02 buff dude and he was like a nice guy, but he was just wide and I was like, "No, brother. I'm not going to I'm not going to let this happen." So, I was the whole time I was just thigh rubbing with this guy. I didn't care. I just sitting nice and wide. You petty, man. Yeah. I just was like, "Nope." Do you just wait until he's about to get something from his backpack and then as soon as his arm he loses? You lost real estate. You're weak. You went to the bathroom. Why do we all do this and we don't say anything about it? I say cuz it's it's a quiet power. What do you say though? I mean I I guess it's just you don't want to have like that type of conversation of of banter with somebody for the entire flight. So it's just this like passive aggressive like arm. Yeah. It's just guys. It's just guys. We all sexually like secretly want to have sex with each other probably. What the ████ I was wear Sometimes I'll wear shorts all over so I have bare skin and I'll I'll leave my bare skin on
10:53 people. Don't care, dude. He's like, "You like that, bro?" And then he's like, "It's kind of nice." I was like, "Yeah, cuz if if I'm on the aisle, bro, I'm respecting that. I'm respecting that seat." I was like, "That's all yours, bro. I'm never going to touch that. That's all you." So now what I do is I just fall asleep. If I'm having a battle with somebody, I'll just fall asleep and I wake up and I'm like, "Still here, baby. Still here planting my flag." Do you think Do you think that middle aisle like you know that that community kind of knowledge is Do you think that's an international thing though? No. Hell no. No, I think it's an American. Not if you're Chinese. I was sitting next to a white guy, so I was like, "You should know this, dude. This is American. This is how you do it." Look, check this out. If that ever happens again, go ahead. You took over my armrest, right? Okay. So, that's fine. So, you're over here. All right. You have it. You usually usually you're like this, right? So, if
11:43 you're uncomfortable, but then you press this, right? You go like this. You just right there. There's a little space right there. Yeah. But we share like that. We did that. Me and my buddy, we kept doing the same thing. We kept we kept going high and I went low. Yeah. And then they go like this. Then they go sick. And then you cross your legs on top of it. You cross your leg on top. No. No. And then you lift this up and then you touch their thigh. The arms. You just lift it up. What the ████ Jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu. This is why I love jiu-jitsu. So you share a corner, right? But then when you're leaning forward, you get comfortable. You look at him like this and you pretend you pass out. You keep looking like this and then he eventually might just go, "Oh, ████ it. Excuse me. You got to honestly, you're you're giving my secrets out cuz I slowly just saying am like melting into my my
12:35 position. It's like secret undercover warfare. I'm just like I'm just secretly like just edging him out into What about the people who do this who they put their arm on the armrest, but their elbow conchks out?" That annoys me. That annoys me. So, you know what you do? If the elbow's over the Yep. You just Oh, you just start leaning on it. Yeah. Yeah. You just start Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, it's pushing away. Oh, I'm sorry. You're in my way. And then now I have this space now. You can't get back. I I have this real estate now cuz you know, most people don't like the physical touch. This is my domain. This is where I live. There was one time where I was in the middle seat and there's this chick next to me and we actually were like subconsciously fighting for her where there was pressure on either of our like this for like a moment for a moment until I was like I'm not ████ budging until she finally like went like this and I was
13:26 like ████ yeah. Oh ████ dude. Dude, like there was pressure. I've never had to a point where there was actual like pressure between us to the point where somebody finally gave up and I was like, "This is insane. I'm middle seat." Yeah. But that also means that since they gave up, you could be like this. You take more Yeah. You take hell of more space. Yeah. You won. You won that ████ 100%. I was like, why are we fighting over this? I would almost rather that happen at the beginning of every fight so you just know how your plane's going to be. And that's what it cuz if I lose, I'm going to be like this the whole flight. And she was. Yeah. And she was cuz sometimes when I'm waiting for that third seat to be filled in, I'm like, "Please be a lady. Please be a small tiny lady." That's what I'm hoping for every single time. Always. But it's never. It's a big ass dude all the ████ time. A big wide guy. Big smell. You can smell the creases in his ████
14:16 skin. Small guy or small girl. Yeah, that'd be the best. Small person. Small person in general. Sometimes. No person. That's the best ide ladies. Those are the worst. Yeah. The old ladies. They talk too much. No, they just like they look at you like complaining like, "B████, you old as ████ Why are you looking at me like that, dude? Why the ████ you complaining?" I just wanted to not be somebody who's going to smell. Yes, that's bad. That is the worst. Like, I'd rather take size over smell. I would, too. I I'll give up my armrest over the smell. I think there was a guy that had diarrhea on this flight. Yeah. when we were flying back from Japan and then the people behind us like when he got up and then he walked away I I overheard in Japanese they're like ████ man I'm dying over here bro and then they're like yeah
15:06 we just got to hang on just a little bit more and I was like hold the ████ if I'm just right in front of them and I can smell it like when he got up I'm wondering what he smells like cuz I I didn't really smell it until he got up and I was like what the ████ That's why I can never fart or never ████ on the plane cuz that trail it will trail. Yeah. Your ass is trailing cuz you can't be farting on a plane. You're sitting down and when you when they walk the ass is on your face. You know what I mean? Every ████ time they trail it's trailing. You guys try to squeeze one out before you get on a plane. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, dude. I'm ████ in the toilet. Like you guys see that Instagram video of somebody yelling out, "Whoever's farting, please stop. Please stop. Whoever's farting, please." Yeah. People were like actively covering up their face. Imagine you're on a plane like please stop barking. Like that's so unlucky, dude. That's bad karma mixing.
15:56 Yo, but Nick, could you could you show us a move where if they do Yeah. Show us a jiu-jitsu move for armrests. Start getting aggressive. A jiu-jitsu school. You start get get aggressive, bro. Mhm. Yeah. They start doing that. Is there a move you could go like something like this? And then on the fight now, you got to fight. Honestly, you got to fight. You guys got to fight. You have to call the flight attendant. That's why I believe in short distance punches. They've got to be short distance. Punch him. Just lift up his elbow right the rib. No. No. Just crank crank your body like this and make sure that ████ hip can go in. You know what I mean? How about a fight scene while you're flying is crazy. Well, just fart on the guy. Yeah. Hey, have you got I've seen a guy uh dead in the in the plane before. Like Yeah. They made an announcement. Dead guy. Yeah. And then ████ They were
16:46 like, "Is there a doctor?" whatever, whatever. We need them on seat, whatever. And then they rushed over and then it got hella like dark and quiet and I had to go to the bathroom. So I walked out and then there was just a body like like this with a blanket covered like that and a seat belt over it and then like something around it. Oh my god. And then I was looking over and I'm like, are you laughing? Imagine being the person sitting next to them and you can't move. So you that ████ just croked next to you and you're just sitting there like this next to a dead person and they just left him in the seat. What What are they going to do? Yeah. No, that's that's what if they was fighting for like arm space the whole time. The other person's like, "Yeah, ████ You've been dead this whole time." But what if it had the rigger Morris and it went
17:40 the last move that [Music] Dude, that's think how scary that is. Your body, you're dead and it starts decomposing right off the rip because of the air pressure. Oh, ████ Stop farting. Dead guy. Whoever, please stop. Please stop farting already. Shut the ████ up. To the dead, dude. Dude, that'd be ████ crazy. To the dead to the dead guy again. Yeah, that's crazy. It might sound crazy.
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