0:05 And welcome back to another episode of the Kevin boys. And we got Nick here today. Hey guys. Thank god, dude. >> two Nicks. Nick the couch. This Nick is more popular than me. Two Nick. Two Nick. You can just have him on the show. Is this a check-in with Nick episode? It's definitely not a check-in with Bart cuz Bart's not here episode. I'll say that. Why is Bart not here? You know what? You know Bart texts me. Okay, let me give you this quick context. Um obviously Nina's pregnant. Uh we don't have a second car right now cuz I have my niece Bart, so it was only one car with a car seat. Nina's like, "Hey, I need the car, so can you get a ride to JK?" I'm like, "Yeah, let me ask Bart. I'm on the way." Both sides. Should be pretty simple, you know. I text him late last night. He's like, "Yeah, I can pick you up, but I might have to go to jujitsu afterwards." Classic Bart. So he even very nice, very weird, very nice, but he was like, "We
0:55 can go to jujitsu and then you can just take the truck back home and I'll come grab it later." Sweet. I'll leave this. He's very nice. Number one, that looks like an expensive truck. I don't want to drive it ever. I don't ever want to get in trouble with that. But point is uh this morning at 4:00 something a.m. He texts but I don't wake up till like 6:00. He texts me and he's like, "I can't take you. I got food poisoning." I'm like, "Oh s███." So you know I wake up Nina. Who the baby's already waking up. And then I was like, "Oh, can you take me? Uh if you need the car, Bart's got food poisoning." The first thing comes out of her mouth is like, "Doesn't he get food poisoning all the time?" >> [laughter] >> He does get food poisoning a lot. It's like the first thing comes out of her mouth. I'm ████ cracking up in the morning. >> [laughter] >> Like what the ████ happened? >> month he gets like food poisoning or something. Yeah, for a guy who's in health and fitness. Or he like there's a
1:46 there's a poop story. You know one of my clients randomly, he's a new client, and randomly he was like, "Hey, I saw you on a podcast clip." [laughter] And I was like, "Every time someone says that to me I go, oh ████ oh ████ oh f███." And then it was probably the worst one. He was like He's a He's a guy from Japan, too. And he's explaining this to me. He's like, "Uh something about ████ on his shoulder." And I was like, "That's the one you saw, dude?" And then I go >> is a ████ to shoulder >> shoulder. Someone say "kaka parrot"? >> [laughter] >> That's the one they saw. Best of friend. So, Bart's pretty known for pooping. Yeah. Both of these guys you guys are diarrhea brothers. Diarrhea bro. >> [laughter] >> Bart s████ on himself a lot. I just need a ████ Emergency. [laughter] Yeah. Bart s████ on himself a lot for
2:37 that to be someone's quality. [laughter] But Joe ████ on himself. Bart's poop stories are like how he didn't make it, you know? It's always like he had to poop so it's in a different location. He poop had to poop on the side of the road. Yeah, his dog His neighborhood. Yeah, he his dogs found his poop outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe is just like, "I GOT TO S███." And then he just goes and s████. Just them. Mhm. Mine's frequent and abrupt. Which is probably pretty good. >> So, he got actual food poisoning where like he's sick. >> to dinner yesterday. And what I don't understand is it's a Japanese restaurant. It's not like we went to like a Indian food stall with feet in all of the curry. >> Can you say Can you say which restaurant it was? I forgot the name. >> [laughter] >> Good, good. They might sponsor us later. >> Yeah. What? I like that spot. I've been there a couple times. Taika loves it. We
3:29 all got kind of sushi. And then Bart wanted to be Yeah. Joe got the beef bowl. Taika got salmon rolls. And Bart went off menu. Bart was like Ooh, they got hamachi kama, which is grilled yellowtail collar. Which is super bomb. I love yellowtail. >> Sometimes the sushi restaurants they run out. And so they Yeah, salmon collar and it's like, "Ah." Salmon collar is still good. But Bart is always extra though. He always want to order some extra ████ >> Oh. It's not raw. It's ████ cooked. Which is why we deferred to the poop story, but continue. And then she And then the lady was like, "Oh, I think we run out. I have to go check at the kitchen." >> She said it like that, though? "I have to go check at the kitchen." And then Bart was like, "Oh, if they have one, please, I want to order." And I was like, "Ooh, I want one, too, right?" And then she comes back and she goes, "Only one left." "Only one." And I looked at him and I was like, "Yo, you wanted it real bad. I
4:19 just kind of like piggybacked off of your idea." So, I was like, "Take it." So ████ glad I didn't take it. >> Oh, wow. >> the whole Asian thing, like, "No, no, you could have it." And I'm like, "No, no, take it. You You ordered for it." >> Yeah, you're protein guy. >> Yeah. So, he got it. He had to wait for it, too, cuz he was like, "It's going to take a long time. It's going to take a longer time." And then we're like, "Yeah, that's okay." So, he got his food last, but when it came out, it was like this big. That collar was massive, right? And everyone was like, "Damn, that looks good. Yeah, you got to wait You waited for that, man. Good job." >> Massive, but they didn't know that they had it? No, it was uh It was hidden in the corner. Massively hidden in the It was behind It was behind the freezer. Yeah, yeah. What's all this freezer burn? >> to get some kid to like dig it out with their small arms. >> They always be running out of ████ yellowtail collar. I don't know why. Yeah.
5:09 >> They're expensive. But, um What if it was like the salad or something he got on the side that ████ him up, too? Oh, that could be it, too. Salad Salad could give you nasty food poisoning. He's the only one that got salad. He's It could be What kind of salad was like a mixed green salad? >> Cuz you said they cooked the collar, right? So, how do you still It's a mixed green salad, dude. It's a mixed salad. >> to still get sick if like they completely cook the thing? >> Yes, yes, of course. But, he would have also tasted it and been like, "This tastes funny," you know? Did it taste Did it smell fishy? I don't think so. He was like chowing down. He loved it. >> Cuz you know how would >> to assume and think per a friend of mine that works in like nursing and stuff like that that often times it comes down to like a did you like wash your hands after with soap after you took a ████ or something. We went to jujitsu and it's like feces or something residue from
6:00 something that when you can that that's what That makes sense with with Bart's reputation of having ████ on himself. I'm saying. The guy's literally rolling human sweat all the time. >> There's not a little piece of human poop under those nails. >> [laughter] >> That's true. Cuz he does dig his fingernails in his ass. >> [laughter] >> So it gets caught in between. That's why he always he gives himself E. coli, dude. If that's the reason he keeps getting That's why his tum tum keeps getting upset. Cuz he periscopes his ████ >> in sickness is like should be studied. So do you think that it's a higher likelihood that it's not the yellowtail collar? I think it's a high likelihood that for Bart specifically poop related incident is cap- Look, think about it like this. Not only does he do jujitsu regularly, works out
6:52 multiple people You mean he sucks out of regularly? Regularly, yeah. Sucks at it. He has a kid who's is going to school and like with other kids germs all day every day and he and he's like Bart's like retired where all he does is play with his kid every ████ god damn minute that's available. So it's like >> Things are dirty. >> Yeah, I I think it's very capable >> Doesn't that make his resistance higher? Yeah, you would think. That's what I would think. That if he goes to the bathroom, washes his hand, and then he picks up his phone and digs his ass and scratches [laughter] it, and then he You know how he's like autopilot >> like super clean though. This guy takes a shower but he has a ████ on his shoulder he doesn't even notice. >> [laughter] >> So he goes on autopilot >> There's questions. I think there's questions. >> Yeah, I think he could have washed his hands, went on autopilot itched his ████ and forgot to wash his hand, and then he starts eating. >> [laughter]
7:42 >> And then he's like eating his collar just licking off the bone and he's got ████ and ████ residue on his fingers and he's eating that ████ He's the kind of guy who's like got like ████ all over himself and stuff like that. He's like holding his phone and stuff like on the toilet after he's like, "Oh s███." He's got ████ on himself. He puts it down and he's like, "Time to wash with soap really hard." And he goes to him and he's like, "Got it. I'm ████ military." or whatever the ████ he says. Some gay ass ████ And then he picks up his ████ phone that he's got ████ The same ████ feces on it and then he goes and he probably wipes it on his yellow tail collar and he puts it on Geo and ████ >> [laughter] >> He's giving himself septus. Yeah, probably. Probably. Or you know we should do now is we just have we just start a running tally behind his back about how many times he has a story about how he pooped himself or he has a poop story. Cuz we already we already
8:32 have like four we can think of off the top of our head. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, honestly our four I can think of right now. He he ████ on the 15 freeway on the way to LA. >> [snorts] >> That's the sign of his development. Yeah, he ████ ████ behind his neighborhood sign, yeah. Bart's greatest ████ Outside of his yard with his dogs at one time when he couldn't make it back. >> [laughter] >> THAT'S RIGHT. I saw that sign but we drove by it recently. >> [laughter] >> All over the tour of America. That's where you ████ And then the cocka parrot to move into this neighborhood. >> [laughter] >> The cocka parrot? But that's that's still in private. There's the there's the ████ ████ all over the ████ Geo's bathroom when they were living with the roommates. The the spray? That's a classic. Bart's greatest ████ Statute of limitations should take that one out. >> [laughter] >> It's still 25 years.
9:23 It comes like it trickles down from his mom farting at his graduation. Like everything it's genetic. Everything continues. There's a lineage to it. Or just Bart has a loose ████ dude. Who knows? He can't hold in his poops. I get the title of ████ boy when he's the real ████ man. >> [laughter] >> Or or here there's another theory. I don't know if this is has anything to do with it. He squats so much his his ████ is probably just putting in overtime. It can't it can't sustain normal function now. >> [laughter] >> It can't just hold in poops. You think it's the squatting or you think it's I think it's the fatigue. He's constantly shooting his ████ finger 4 in into his butt hole every day. I think it's all the above. Lactic acid makes it lubed. >> [laughter] >> He has a good squat. He's working on it. He's got to relax. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> He's got a ████ neck brace, a arm brace, he's always got ████ nose >> Oh yeah, he does get hurt a lot, huh?
10:14 And he's the guy that doesn't do like the weird stuff. You know I'm like me I'll I'll like black out the night before being drunk and wake up with a bruise on my hip and like limping and be like all right, cool. But like Bart's like Bart's ████ got like it looks like he just came out of a stroke and he's just and you're like, "What did you do?" And he's like, "I stepped funny." And you're like, "What?" >> [laughter] >> Oh yeah, didn't he break his foot cuz he like stepped on a weird part of Yeah, he stepped on like on the curb. He's always [laughter] getting hurt. Your body should be breaking. >> But on top of that >> doesn't rest probably. Have you guys noticed he's been having a cold like every month? Yes. It's probably cuz he doesn't rest. >> [laughter] >> And then you know cuz he'll always text me like, "Do you have Do you have ████ NyQuil or like Advil?" Like every month I swear I get like a message. He also doesn't rest because he's he's playing so much. It's not like he's stressed out for 12
11:05 hours of ████ work. He's like he's like from from 6:00 a.m. to this I work out. From this it's me and Geo's date time. You know we we just figure out oh we're going to go to one restaurant a week. We're going to check out a movie that we haven't seen before. We're going to do activities we never did before cuz we have time. And then right at 2:30 it's all Taika time. So you're like, "What are you not resting at? Like where's the part where you aren't resting?" What's your opinion as a nutritionist? What should he do? Probably needs to stare at a wall for a while. He doesn't eat vegetables. [laughter] Like no outside stimulus. Stare at a wall. He doesn't eat vegetables. Yeah, you know what THAT FOOL TOLD ME? >> [laughter] >> He doesn't He told me a ████ uh the pickle in a cheeseburger is his vegetable. No way. This guy eats vegetables, doesn't he? So, he says no lettuce, no onions, no tomato? >> I think barely. Bart's really good at sticking to the rules that he knows that'll get him success as far as like nutrition-wise, but I know he finds ways to be like a sneaky sneaky guy. He does
11:55 not eat vegetables. >> [laughter] >> Vegetables have bad ROI. He's like, "Ketchup, dude. I got I got ketchup as my vegetable." >> [laughter] >> No, he probably does He probably just needs to stare at a wall for a little bit, take no stimulus in, but it's hard cuz you got kids, you got family, you have all these different stressors in life. And he works out hard, he trains ████ hard, probably too hard maybe. Oh, you think so? Maybe. I think some peo- If he if some coach got to him, maybe they would be like, "All right, maybe dial Dial it back." Yeah, or sleep more or whatever, cuz he probably only gets like Aren't you a coach? He's not going to listen to me. Well, he sleeps up 9:00 9:00 p.m. to 4:00 a.m. Yeah, basically. He wakes up at 4:00? 4:30 usually. Yeah. Jeez, man. He's like, "Come work out." I'm like, "No." >> [laughter and gasps] >> No. That's crazy. Like, damn, dude. LA'ers are still asleep.
12:45 >> [laughter] >> They're not even in makeup yet. Although now nowadays I do have to work out really early cuz it's getting hot. That's the only way that That's the only time. I Yeah. Whatever. Yeah, I I I woke up this morning, went for a walk. It's like It's like 77 at like 7:00 a.m. >> Romantic. You went out just went for a walk? It's so hot. Yeah, it's ████ honestly. It's ████ ████ This is your chance to dunk on Vegas. Go ahead. Vegas is too hot. >> our last text there was ████ you up, dude. That text there was ████ you up about LA. But Ryan said it all right, though. You guys are complaining about LA traffic and how it sucks. And I'm like, "Hey, I never go there. I never go to that side of town." ████ no, dude. >> Go to Santa Monica up here. That's true. That's true. Yeah, he's in paradise, man. Why leave? >> Working so hard not resting. Going to Santa Monica. Montebello to ████
13:35 UCLA. That's what he get. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's there's no good time for that. >> Yeah. No, I think he's going to Montebello to Monterey Park. Damn. Really? Yeah, cuz that's the Chick-fil-A by the Home Depot on the 60. Mhm. See, I've never even been down that way. I don't [laughter] know what that is. >> Every time he eats Raising Cane's, by the way, four times. Geo said four times. >> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's also his fault cuz he keeps going back. Yeah. That's true. If I get food poisoning from a spot, I'm not going back for at least a year. Maybe he goes I think they fixed their >> He's trying to He's trying to build a resistance. Yeah, cuz you have to go back. I'm just a quitter, dude. Maybe I should have keep pushing harder. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Well, our job
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