0:00 the guys that are out there to talk giving all these advice they're not even like marriage they don't even get girlfriends but somehow they're ████ gurus and ████ it's hilarious the guys that are in stable loving relationships are out here and they're like called Simpsons you know what though like the key to a secret like a good marriage is like being able to say things under your breath like real quietly [Music] welcome back to another episode of careful boys we are currently off the Record today we have Jesse mama oh hello um I think you are a good person to help settle this thing that's been going around online that I do not appreciate personally okay um why is it that Filipino guys have such a bad reputation for being toxic to
0:50 date are they real what are you dating a Filipino man right now no but I have a lot of dancers or Filipinos are they are they quite toxic Filipino dancer what is the deal because that's like everywhere when you have these girls doing tier lists of like who's the most toxic it's always the number ones or the Viet guy but it's usually filming can you can you educate me because I've never heard of this before yeah me neither I actually don't know the reasons though but what makes you say they are toxic I think just like from anecdotally my relationships yeah like what happened I speak from your experience um because a lot of other girls do agree because I've been seeing that going around yeah it's a thing just do what we do and like take something anecdotal and just pretend like everyone does it yeah oh what have you observed from like friends that dated that you've like seen yeah like what's the class on Philippines the hot guys also also is it a misconception I'll take that as an answer too is it true what they tell us
1:40 why Ryan's toxic come on Ryan why are you toxic I think Filipino guys are are a lot of them are naturally charismatic that's a generalized compliment okay yeah I feel like Filipinos are the RICO suavees of Asians yeah yeah it's a Spanish blood Dante Bosco has the swap oh God Dante come on what's the next kid's called Riz yeah the curves no so they're charismatic and that does that and they know it I never know they also have Latin infidelities oh Latin infidelity like telenovela style yeah they can resist the fashion for everybody can you confirm with it it's like Puss in Boots he just like the pools it's like Pepe Le Pew yeah so that's the main issue you think is that they just get to uh passionate yeah actually it's like two extremes like I
2:30 know a lot of Filipino men who are very committed and like have like long long term and those are usually the nurses huh the military or the military Filipinos yeah but that's anecdotal dancer is that one of the dancer thing or is that a Filipino thing oh maybe it's the intersection of both oh that's two bads there so you got the really extremes is your anecdotal all dancers mostly okay so that doesn't count huh my sample size is just like different most toxic yeah but then I feel like all Filipinos know how to dance and sing and they're in they're in the medical field that's how I feel too so you're pretty much dating the average Filipino man right yeah yeah yeah if they're break dancing or popping so my father-in-law 's Filipino man and
3:22 he has been described as having toxic traits what are these toxic traits drinking and driving come on man that's literally there's toxicity in his blood yes um yeah a lot of yelling apparently when when uh when they were growing up um that's standard but that's also like so all of us growing up too yeah that might be a generational thing does he have a gambling addiction or did he ever have one I don't think so because I didn't know that that was a big thing until I got older he's a he's a Filipinos gamble yeah because like Seventh-Day Adventists I got we didn't see a lot of gambling but then when I got older and I had friends from outside school a lot of their dads had issues with drinking and gambling I feel like if you're an Asian from a religious cult you kind of don't fit The Stereotype because you're an outcast of your own group a little bit yeah it's true yeah
4:12 well he's also a tax guy so I think he just was always more built to be responsible with money oh okay that makes sense yeah but what's the what makes it because I feel like generationally they were all toxic so what makes Filipino like extra the highest rate the highest of all Asians I don't even know that's the thing I don't know I see it all the time that a lot of girls have that opinion but it's been going around though on Tick Tock I don't know but they don't explain it it's just a guy that goes up and then they rank they'll be like all right out of all the Asians which one is the most toxic because not gonna lie it's Filipino I think I think Filipino dudes maybe just I don't know if it's generational but they do have a high rate of like f█████████ I think a lot of them so maybe at some point they like hurt somebody or they they weren't into them that way and then they kind of like
5:02 cold shoulder it yeah I could think of a couple of Filipino friends that I'm like oh yeah they're little ████ boys what race is Anthony Lee he's Filipino adjacent yeah because he married a Filipino wait Anthony's Viet Chinese right oh no he's Viet that's why he's a he's a toxic ████ boy the second in line those girls would always say is Viet so okay like I thought it was Viet guys in my tier list of my friends I would have put yeah guys as the number one toxic from my observation I didn't know that most girls thought it was Filipinos um you know what made me sad Japanese didn't even make it on the list that made you sad that you're not toxic yeah that means they're not ████ ████ stupid they're not ████ yeah what was what was the list nobody thinks we ████
5:52 it was like yeah a lot of girls brought up Filipinos they brought up in Korean Korean they brought up they said yeah Koreans they drama whatever whatever and then I'm like they never said Japanese we need flaws come on dude the reason why that's why the reason why you're not toxic is no one's dating your ass yeah stop ████ being an apprentice sushi chef and ████ working all day in your in your personal tearless Jesse is filipino's number one time what's number two agrees um just men yeah I think like you're not you're not stereotypical enough what do guys do that are so toxic yeah I don't even know what that means it might be more racist please you've been described as toxic many times are you toxic
6:42 what do you guys think is toxic that's the thing I don't even subjective right so yeah what do you think is like what are some toxic traits that you feel like when you're dating some dude toxicity to me is when you leave the girl in worse shape than she was prior to meeting you I that's how I Define toxicity that's a good oh dude I've never been toxic like is credit carding random women at the store toxic no that's just fun that's just a fun chill dude yeah that's just not it that's just somebody I want to get bearded that's just AFV yeah yeah not if you make the cha-ching noise if you make a change yeah then it's playful and fun or if it's like oh sorry it didn't read and then you're gonna do it again Batman you got your chain but if you if you just do it silently creepy bro okay in that case the way I defined it there are a lot of situations where I think Filipino guys do that I do like
7:33 that explanation you said where you left the or the girl leave because you're toxifying the person a worse person than when you uh met them and I would say uh when I was a junior in high school I was toxic yeah would you do ████ oh I had a chick that was like she was like um doing really good in school yeah and then and then she ended up like waking up at random people's houses and then like she stopped being the debate team anymore and like yeah I was like a really bad influence why you stopped her from being disagreeable you're a fun time dude I think that was really fun though yeah but is that toxic is that funny I think or fun can also be toxic no I think it's like well I think I did worse ████ where like if I was breaking up with someone I wanted to have the upper hand so I wanted them to
8:24 be sadder than I was at the end of it oh Jesus Filipino toxic I've done that and I think that is a Filipino I never did that that's ████ up it's ████ up yeah your thing was you were just a bad influence I think I was bad as best toxic but this is like a more like direct well I mean if it depends because like what if you influenced her in that way but then she ended up being like a really cool skater or something like that's kind of I think I took her away from her dreams okay that's not good that's heavy yeah because you go to like just there's Middle School no no uh junior year in high school she's trying to go to USC and then we ended up like going to a rave in Arizona and then you know what I think it is I think Filipino guys generally have a coping mechanism that is dependent on the other person feeling worse than they do oh so that's what makes it toxic because you gotta like okay yeah I think that's how they feel
9:14 you want to hurt me I'm going to hurt you I think that's how they feel good about their decisions is that they want they need someone else to like the other person to suffer a little bit so they're like oh I came out okay and then you can move forward without guilt they or me no I did it for many years so I get it but like when um I think when girls are talking about Filipino guys being toxic that's probably gotta be in there somewhere yeah because I think they leave a wreckage behind I've actually never been cheated on but it's more of like the lying and the manipulation oh oh that's toxic to me is it a flex to be like I've never been cheated on yeah I could see it I could see a little bit good get it honey get it girl yeah get it work girl I've probably been cheated on but I never knew that's a nice Flex too yeah that's nice that's like kind of
10:06 a cooler flag yeah because it's a mystery it's a mystery who knows I don't know I might have been cheated on yep Schrodinger's cheating yeah it is don't open the box there is a I think like especially when I met other families that were not non-religious not that this is like better but like they uh they did have dads that were like Filipino salsa dads oh dude those guys and I didn't know that was a stereotype like Filipino salsa dads like are pretty they cheat the way they move their hips yeah come on yeah they're crushing it they'd be doing like little lessons with like different women and then I had a friend his dad's a personal trainer and he told me that his dad probably ████ every single one of his clients wow and his dad gave him steroids when he was like 16 too that's pretty tight whoa I mean he sounds like damn Bilzerian in the
10:58 future damn geez any other guy any any redeeming qualities of Filipino guys oh I think they're uh no let's end the video how can we save them how can we say I think they're doing just fine I think they're killing I've always liked Filipino guys because I feel like they're optimistic and happy all the time they're fun hangs dude yeah Filipino dudes are funny I think that's the charm that gets the girls yeah because when you're like East Asian there's no sex really yeah like maybe perversion but there's really no passion and like the stereotypes different yeah so then I'm like even I want a Filipino guy yeah they're like more free yeah and in the East Asians like Chinese Japanese like Koreans are more they're coming out more romantic they're like the more emotional one out of the three but then like dude
11:49 like typically man there's like no it's different would you ever race Anthony Lee is that's probably my least favorite one that's true we're just talking about favorite races now what if what is a common toxic trait that men have in relationships that we don't know about yeah tell us yeah because you said number two is all bad number one is the Filipino and the number two is oh man no all men yeah all others yeah what is something what's toxic stuff because you know what I think too is that sometimes a lot of people have trauma and the toxic ████ that they do is impulsive and not intentional so I'm like what is a common thing that you've seen like in dating that that does keep coming up literally this is like it's it's not even juicy it's Ben's inability to self-regulate
12:39 their own emotions and traumas and that's why it comes up and that's why like because communication is key you can work through really anything you can make mistakes and you can work through it but usually men like ball up and they don't want to consider another perspective they don't want to be open and that's a lot of like past stuff being like they're hanging on to yeah a lot of chicks always complain like most relationships it's always the girl complaining about their dude not communicating yes yeah I've had that problem with every single guy and then the more I get to know them and actually like love and have empathy for them I'm like Oh no you're hurt um yeah yeah how do you address it yeah stop hiding yourself you dumbass I'm kidding stop being a ████ about it no I I have um an issue too because I get angry I'm Korean you know so they make them tighten up like yeah they're they're
13:29 defensive now yeah like like we're as much as I want to help I'm also like aggressive you know um my boyfriend's Colombian he said that he thinks that Korean women are the Latinas of Asia you know we're like expressive and dramatic and angry and so but that's uh that's bad too because that does obviously make like fire with fire yeah yeah if I could like if I had the self-control and the money and the time I think my passion project in life would be actually to like lead men's retreats that'll be cool and give like love and listening to people and and I think because like I'm like God like women have it so hard and that's what I focus on a lot of the time but women have it hard because of men but men have it hard because of men interesting in relationships and everything works that's true I have work
14:19 trauma relationship trauma and it's men I think that's what I always thought was weird where um women would look at men as one cohesive monolithic group but guys are against guys competing against guys protecting others from guys you know but what about the guys that are protecting the world from you know the yeah it's just ████ why is it isn't ████ pretty tough on each other too I feel like I feel like that's true too yeah yeah my my um perspective I mean I I think a lot of guys have that experience but looking back my um assessment of what happened to me was that like I didn't grow up understanding how to identify those things so when I
15:09 was told why are you holding back I didn't even know I was holding back so then it felt more like an accusation of like why are you not doing something that you know you can do so then holding back what so for example right like let's say um I can't even identify what's happening to me right now but I'm being pressured to express myself when I can't even put it into words which just pissed me off yeah you haven't processed what's going on it's like yeah yeah it's like maybe some people are hiding how they truly feel but in my case I can't even register and I don't even have that emotional IQ to know that this is how I'm feeling this is how I'm processing like I don't even have those tools so then I just get blamed for not expressing the things that I'm unaware about so then it becomes like this thing where it's like I'm being accused of
16:00 holding back when I'm not holding back I do want to express I do want to have this discussion I'm just not even there yet so a retreat like that can help people get to that point where now they can go oh I am angry yeah and the real reason why I'm angry is not because you made me angry is because oh I have a trigger for whatever past thing but that's so much self-awareness and but I feel like now there's more guys talking about this ████ right but in the past like if you don't practice that it's like it's like weight training or anything or any skill set you have to practice that and if if you can't even for it's like being an alcoholic right you can't you can't admit to your addiction or you can't admit and see yourself yeah you can't even you're not even at that stage so a lot of guys are out there in relationships being told because a woman
16:50 could probably clearly see what's going on and you're like why you you know why are you suppressing this part of you and then they're like what the ████ are you talking about I'm not suppressing ████ I'm lashing out yeah and then it causes this because then it's like the reflex right some chicks though think they're ████ body language experts then I'm like ████ there's nothing wrong there's that too there's that too where you're just because men do be blanking like like men do just like are not thinking about we're just standing I literally I'm starting with the breathing okay I'm actually just taking some time breathing no and then there's some type of projection going on where it's like what are you thinking about what are you doing and it's like no those those are your insecurities I'm breathing today I'm just breathe I'm not then you have to make up something that you probably thought you were thinking about the
17:40 discussion yeah I was thinking about ████ butterflies okay do you guys relate to that yeah for sure all guys do I think women a lot of women do give dudes more credit than they deserve because I dudes are really simple minded and then I think because women are such like internal multitaskers and they can think about all kinds of things and like all kinds of perspectives they're like oh he must be doing this because of this but the dudes literally just breathing inside of a dude's brain is like I was having a conversation with my wife and I don't know if you know this but I'm a mouth reader just by trade by trade okay and then she was she we're having a conversation about something serious and I wasn't we the conversation
18:30 ended and I've been trying to breathe out my nose more often right so I just go are you upset or something and I was like I was like oh no no I was just trying to breathe out my nose but she didn't believe it for a little bit exactly and I had to keep convincing her I was like no no like I'm trying to breathe out my nose man come on you know I'm a mouth breather baby you know me I'm a mouth breather I'm on my computer like this what's what's happening I feel like you're mad at me when you do that he's like babe everything okay I'm like I think I just figured out how to fit Jiu Jitsu into my schedule because I was just on yup looking at what's open in the morning that's another thing too she thought it was like some crazy ████
19:21 but I was like I think I settled it there's these three places I'm gonna DM I'm gonna see what's up so you finally have a 6 a.m class that fits my schedule but she knows me now after 15 years she knows I'm not bullshitting yeah but a lot of I think a lot of times and when it's early on it's like it cannot be that ████ simple what what and then it blows up because like then you put the ████ in the room together and then they all start talking about how we were staring at the wall yeah and like it must mean this other thing and then they're all like tag team in that ████ point and then they come back with a different story like a whole novel of what you were doing and I'm like oh I just stare at the ████ world you're like well not as smart as you think I am yeah it's either I'm staring at the wall I'm having a dinosaur battle play in my head or I was thinking I'm thinking about who I'm gonna eat tomorrow yeah
20:11 it's 100 I'm done I think a Stegosaurus could beat a T-Rex what if a brontosaurus had to defend itself against a meat eater yeah and he just thinking man I don't know it kind of brontosaurus really ████ up a raptor cause like brontosaurus just eat grass all day it has a long neck right but then the Raptors are much smaller much worse so it's not always what what women think probably most of the time not but I do agree though that would be really good a retreat where a guy can start processing with no judgment how to identify certain things and then be able to communicate it in a relationship because I think like guys can communicate girls do this too where it's like in a few words because you just know so much but I think in a relationship setting it
21:02 does help to be able to communicate more thoroughly and the thought process behind it because I think females just think so differently from us that in order to package that message correctly it has to be in depth I can't say though being with a female has helped me communicate better with dudes too I think so just because like it's opened up my brain to so many other perspectives and a way of communicating and like like what's the best form like sometimes like it's not always a hammer always a screwdriver you know it's like there's like different ways of applying stuff and there's ways of like maybe I don't even need to use words maybe if I go like this with Nick Nick knows that I love him you know and then that's true yeah being a father too like and it's like there's so many ways yeah well also my brain like like ████ can just do layers of thinking right
21:54 and I can only do like one at a time right I got like one little sir one little one thing at a time they're like it is yeah but these ████ doing like ████ all this twisting thinking about things like she could think about many things at one time and I don't even know how to I'm trying to think about lunch you know that's what I'm thinking about it's so great that all four of these guys have highly successful marriages yeah I wouldn't say highly successful I don't know I uh yeah I would say highly successful anyone that says that they're ████ alive everyone's been in a relationship here over a decade yeah way over a decade it's funny because the guys that are out there uh talk giving all these advice they're not even like marriage they don't even get girlfriends but somehow they're ████ gurus and ████ it's hilarious the guys that are in stable loving relationships are out here and they're like called simps and ████ you know what
22:45 though like the keto secret like a good marriage is like being able to say things under your breath like real quietly foreign
// end of tape