0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to a very special careful boys we're very careful boys and today we're talking about what do you do to improve your bad mood your bad mood boy or girl I improve it by being even more batter moods oh yeah I go for a walk take a shower just I try to like change my physical state that's always good workout that's a good one working out is a good one yeah it's a really good one or punching something that usually helps a little bit but then you get mad again because you're like oh now my hand hurts and I'm ████ pissed I don't ruminate and linger anymore really you moved on from that show it's hard to stay like I would rage for like I could stay on the ████ thought for like a whole week
0:53 and then that's exhausting if you're pissed yeah I'll go to sleep ████ mad and then I wake up still mad and then like I would I I'd be able to like think of all the different ways of how I'm gonna get revenge and everything and then now I'm just like okay uh it's a lot of work [Laughter] you're just too busy it hurts me being too busy helps us and then yeah I just go um you know the soft serve machine's broken I should probably deal with that and then I go to sleep yeah worst thing to worry about yeah but back then I wouldn't be even be able to think about oh the this is malfunctioning I gotta go fix this and then I gotta fix that because everything that's on my mind is like oh this ████ wrong me I'm gonna
1:44 get them back or what whatever whatever was on my mind you know that that was a difficult thing and I don't really know what changed I don't I never made a conscious effort all I know is that now I'm much better at um being aware of what I'm speaking in my head is it because you're busier I think uh one thing that I know that I did get better at and this probably has something to do with it but uh several years ago I realized that um I would I would wake up in panic attacks oh that's damn that's big that's tough and then um I didn't realize that I was doing that throughout my whole life where I would just wake up in panic and I just go back to sleep but Hannah kind of I recognized it there because then she was like oh you just woke up and
2:35 you're like scared or something I'm like what so you know you go back to sleep you don't remember and whatever wow so there'll be moments where like I wake up and I'm just my heart is racing and then I'm just thinking I'm not think I'm not thinking I'm half asleep so I get up and then I'm just like oh ████ and then you just have a groggy day right and I don't know what happened or whatever and then when I processed that then I was more aware half asleep I would wake up and I'd be like okay I'm thinking about things I'm scared of things in the past that hurt me like all these weird intrusive thoughts or whatever that's just sneaking through my head right and that's what's scary because I feel vulnerable I'm like in a sleeping position and then while I'm half asleep I can calm myself down and that made me much better at uh being
3:26 aware of what kind of uh conversations I was having in my head throughout the day um and then before that it was pure impulse everything was just whatever was happening in the moment was whatever was happening that's affecting you the most yeah and then uh now I don't really have like those things where I wake up and like my heart's racing good job dude yeah and if I do feel it coming like if I wake up like I'm thinking about it in my head and I go oh it's happening just it's not real like relax and then I just take a few breaths and I go right back to sleep so then that was a huge thing I think just being aware of what I'm thinking of was a big big changer and just everything it applied to everything else so like so what advice would you give somebody who's
4:16 having issues pushing their intrusive thoughts out of the way who who can't just like take a few breaths and they're not at that stage yet like what would you tell them to do practice um what so not everyone speaks in their own head is what I realize too some people see and they they see pictures in their head or they just don't even say words that's what I realized but for me I talk in my head a lot right and there's different conversations different versions of me and dinosaur battles dinosaur battles cool stingrays whatever yeah uh and I think um try to bring up the voice of like a calm reasonable human being you have that thought too and let that one win or like you know like like uh it's not that what
5:06 do you call it it's whatever's happening in the moment it's not that serious it never is but then it it is in the moment because you're having an emotional reaction yeah so intrusive Dinosaur cool calm collected dinosaur yeah they're fighting and then the fact that you're thinking about these two metaphorical dinosaurs fighting is the fact that you can call yourself okay cool there it is welcome to male mind yeah that's my mind those were my favorite lines by the way the last couple months yeah how guys think and sometimes girls think their body language exercise so Joe's like I'm just having a dinosaur battle in my head that's so true it's so true dude nothing about anything yeah I have that too girls zone out too I believe it but
5:56 but when we get accused what were you just thinking about babe and we're like oh you don't want to know I'm being insecure right yeah you might even have to make things up because then they bother you so much yes would you say I go are you mad at me she's like yes I've been trying to find ways it's pretty good that's all that's why I calm down the situation internal dialogue if I could simplify because that's all it is the internal dialogue and nothing's like too extreme you you suffer like what what that quote you suffer more in imagination than you do in reality so true yeah that's what I do sometimes I usually think of a more severe situation like my mom was tripping this morning just talking about something like my mom's like uh she's like she's trying to evict one of the tenants in her or whatever but she's like I think she has to do it by this imaginary deadline and then she's like ████ tripping on the phone I'm like is someone gonna come and cut your hands
6:47 off and she was like read this question I was like if I was like okay let's say you prolong it for seven days someone gonna ████ come and cut your hands off she's like no well then shut the ████ up but I actually helped my mom out she's like yeah that's right because like I think a lot of times it probably sounds way better in Chinese too yeah because I think like a lot of times like whatever you're experiencing it does feel like life or death and so it helps me out when I think of something more severe then it kind of like puts what I'm thinking and feeling into perspective and I'm like that's just this yeah just that that's why I resort to working out because it's like now you're physically doing something where your mind's now focused on what you're physically doing you're benefiting from them benefiting from like the dopamine a calmer effect on um those intrusive
7:40 thoughts um I weight lift but it depends on like the day what's your favorite lift bruh um I like deadlift title yeah that's a good way to get it's a bench now too because I think like like especially for women um too much because it looks weird yeah I can only bench the like bar maybe to 10 pound weights I'm out Somebody's gotta save me from 65 pounds I like the phrase um control the controllable too because a lot of time like you know when you have like you're in a bad mood and you're like kind of like stuck on something you can't really control how you feel yeah but you can control what
8:31 you're doing in the moment so if you're like on the couch or wherever in the car and that whole environment is making me feel like something then go work out go do something or maybe go grab a snack or even call up a friend just to talk yeah like what are the things that you can control and usually if you go in that direction and build some sort of positive momentum you'll feel better in like 20 30 minutes and you're not stuck there anymore yeah that's my favorite thing to do is like uh my my go-to is to find the humor in it because I think it's always possible yeah but if I can't in the moment because it's so fresh I try to think of a something that happened that's worse than this and remember that I do see the humor in that yeah oh yeah it eventually happens but if I can't do it I all I do is just simply hang out with a person that I like that has nothing to do with the thing I'm upset about and I
9:22 immediately I immediately can't think of it I'm just like then I just enjoy this person and I enjoy the time and it's like it's great I think getting out of your head is super important super important yeah you're just gonna repeat whatever's bothering you and then that boils up yeah or if you're in an argument and if you're in a situation where you're both not like you're kind of getting crazier and crazier like it's gonna erupt somewhere and and someone's got to stop it or else it's gonna be like violence or something sometimes I like fighting the humor in myself in the moment yes like I'm like zooming out of yourself am I ████ tripping over this yeah yeah yeah I'm like dude this is so it's like almost like you know when you look at yourself when you're like in your teens and you're like sipping for love and you're doing all the dumbest ████ possible it's like the same thing like you kind of like look at yourself in
10:12 third person you're like oh my God I can't like ████ trip over this thing it's like ████ nothing and then you find like the humor in that too and that helps out too yeah I think what helped me was to realize like um all of these things happen when you're the most vulnerable right so like when you're the most tired and you're not there mentally because like it's easier when you're well rested you're sharp and then you're not emotionally aroused so like so like when you're not yourself or like triggered in some different way and then you might be attacking someone because of let's say like a past thing right like let's say somebody bullied you and something remembers and then subconsciously your guards go up and you're starting to feel like violent towards someone it's like you gotta remember that all these things
11:02 pop up in the times when you least can deal with it and then so when you can realize that I think that helps a lot because it's it always goes down when you're like you already did it well at least for me you already did the day that you kind of um what do you call it like you already acted out in the way that you regretted because you were unaware and you were impulsive yeah so then you're impulsive because you don't you lack self-control during those moments so how do you stay aware in those moments of time when you're at this emotional state and you're like an absolute animal and you're not even thinking clearly a temp perspective like Bart does that's really smart so how do you snap out of that animal having the sense of humor inside of yourself to zoom out of yourself and laugh at how funny something is is
11:52 pretty good like I've done that many times I think it's one of my go-to's for sure another thing that I do is actually a weird meditation that I've always done since I was like a little kid I've done this before I've actually done it actually like on me and Iggy's podcast ████ they don't tell you I've actually done it like I just like take you through exactly wow yeah and I love it that ████ is so important I ████ love it like I like zoom out of my body I zoom I visualize where I'm at visualize like above myself and where I'm at and I go above that above that and above that and I go all the way out and there's this beautiful thing I swear to God it's like the coolest thing ever if you can actually like face the stars all I mean by that you're like fly outside of all of this ████ you get outside like the planet and ████ you see earth like this small Earth you look in it or no no you're looking at Earth it's real big and ████ but then you turn around the
12:43 turnaround's the most powerful thing in the ████ world you turn around and you feel the light of the universe the warmth the energy all the all the light of the universe is coming to one place ████ it's coming to us right and if you can feel that that love like that like warm blanket it is like nothing else you'll ever experience and I can get there real quick because I've been doing it since I was a kid oh that's awesome yeah yeah and I I uh it's my little life hack because like even my mom always said when I was growing up like she's always like you're my light and ████ and then like Nikki whenever she's freaking the ████ out about something like I I keep Center pretty quick and like get to the rational part of things pretty quick because I could focus Steve is the Teletubby son dude you're gonna have to have Warren Bell do you ever go there when it's like let's say you have crazy turbulence in the airplane do you go there too or I don't need to uh no because I because
13:34 oh dude I was just on an airplane with crazy triples there's a guy next to me he was like ████ freaking out wide stance in this ████ yeah he was white knuckling the armrest so I'm not even kidding he was like ████ funny poor guy poor guy I know but but no I um I don't know it's one of those things where I have a very Kismet attitude about things like where if it was my time to go I know it is you're just like ████ it yeah what are you gonna do in a moment what are you gonna do what are you gonna do with your control so you might as well try to control what you can do a cockpit dude the last moment it's cocky as ████ and it's disrespectful I think to the powers that be to think that you are in control yeah you gotta bust that door down dude you gotta wait for the oxygen mask to come down yeah no but it's not about you anymore it's about that's everything yeah you know what else you'd be doing
14:25 since you were a kid jerking it poop but I think a poop the first step to pivoting is recognition because like I I think most people um you know they haven't removed or saw their ego yet so what ends up happening is the first thing you do is blame yeah so like that's the go-to in most people's minds even and it's way more comforting to do that in the moment for a lot of people it's easier yeah you go to a defensive place like right away it's everyone else's fault it's not mine yeah yeah and most people live this way right so then they could never create the coping skills or just like how to deal with whatever because they don't
15:16 have to deal with it it's their fault they made me mad they did this to me so then if you can't recognize that all these feelings and pains and things are happening within you and you can control that narrative then it I think that's the first step when is everybody else's fault you just give your power away yeah so just like no no you can't do anything no control there goes your control are you a baby that's why that's why I tell myself are you a ████ small child is this why you have to lash out and like are you not 30 years old and you have to be an adult and deal with your problems I tell that to myself I talk ████ to myself yeah that scale is dangerous though because on the other flip side you have people that blame the ████ out of themselves excessively and then next thing you know they ████ kill themselves oh you know what it is though too is like you have to at least for me what works for me is like I just tell myself that it's like so not about you in a lot of ways like
16:07 it like I think a lot of us are really self-absorbed of like how we think of are problems and it's like what was me all the time I think that is like a easy trap to fall in but when you like what what you guys were all saying in different ways like pulling out and zooming out and realizing that it's like okay what's bother I try to ask myself a ton of questions of like what's bothering me why is it bothering me is it something I can control or is it something that I can't control and then from there depending on what that answer is then I can move forward or not move forward right or just kind of sit in it and just be like okay I'm upset it's not gonna be the last problem you're gonna have yeah exactly I'll get used to it my favorite thing is arriving to the statement no one ████ cares exactly exactly exactly it's not it's not that serious
16:57 other Steve next to you and he's like I care I don't care and you start crying I've never tried this before I feel like my work good if like let's say you feel like ████ about something give yourself a beat and try to Freestyle and rhyme that what you're feeling so definitely laugh at yourself yeah like right away you probably started laughing give me a beat and he trying to Freestyle right away and try to rhyme that word as many times as you can you go to an open mic I'm ready I just write poetry dude that's what I do ████ dude and I get my emotions out all right you know one thing that helps me when I'm like in a in that state of mind whether it's like anger or fear or whatever is to start solving the thing that I'm worried about yeah but women hate that
17:48 yeah yeah for myself you know yeah women having problems if it's a soul if it's a solo campaign that's good that's a bad move ████ off with that trust me but I think like there's some feeling of it's like ASMR or relief when you're taking actionable steps towards something um when I talk about it and do nothing it actually makes it worse for me yeah like that's what anxiety is asking me I repeat the same story I'm reliving the uncertainty I'm getting more and more worried but then if I just shut all that out and I start solving it and then all the conversations that I have is like people giving me advice on like how to
18:38 fix or maybe look at it at a different angle then like I see progress of things happening then I feel relief yeah [Music] foreign [Music]
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