0:00 [Music] Okay, let's say like this does I know it doesn't make sense, but let's say magically you are able to add data technology to your eyes. What stats or information would you want instantly visible when you're like looking at stuff? >> Oh, that's cool. >> Like facts though, not like projections. Okay. >> I want to be like Terminator. >> Uh >> I want to read your body temperature right off the body temperature. >> No, no, no. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. >> That's so useless. food inspiration. >> I don't know if you have a fever or not. >> Actually, uh full full like health >> health. So you could just look at Bart and be like, "Bro, you got asthma." >> I'm thinking about like my parents or like or like friends and family or stuff like that. >> Oh, so you could be like, "Dad, you got cancer. You got to go to hospital now." >> Damn, that's kind of personal though, huh? >> I want to see through Anony's clothes. >> Yeah, but you look at Suba and you go, "Bro, bro, Suba, you got fungus."
0:51 >> So that you can like help him something. >> That's more superhero vibes. I think he's talking about analytics, but like like calorie, sugar, and the food, right? >> No, whatever you want. >> Whatever you want. >> You get to pick. >> No. You can pick whatever you want and then we'll go around when Anthony picks one, then we can pick on it. >> Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I thought we were just talking. >> Rules. We're just talking. >> Yeah. Shut them down after we all go. >> No, I was just talking. >> How come you got all the rules, Suben? >> Who? >> You, Reuben? >> I'm I'm the co-pilot. Like uh for instance, I think the one I would like is uh to be able to like if I've met somebody in the past or someone I know, I could just instantly see where they are. Like like GPS almost. >> So if I go to a concert, >> I can I can like go like that and then I'm only seeing the people I know. So I'm like, "Oh, he's right there. I knew he was here. That's sick."
1:41 >> But you can bump into the people then cuz you can't see them. >> What? Oh, no. I I'm not going to have it on all the time. >> No, it's like AR. It's not VR. >> Yeah. It's like heads up display. It's like imagine you have like a click click like oh freaking Jo's here. >> Augmented reality versus virtual reality. V virtual reality you like don't see anything in real life and then you're in a different space. Augmented is like you could see everything but then there's added reality to it. >> I want to see ghosts then. >> Ghost is talking though. >> How does the technology detect ghosts? >> They're on a different frequency that our eyes can't pick up. >> Thermal. >> What would you do with the ghost? >> Wouldn't there just be infinite ghosts everywhere and you just see nothing but white? Oh, I didn't even think about that. >> But what what would how would that benefit your life? How what would you do with it? >> I would know it's real. >> So the first day you would know it's real. What about like the rest of your
2:31 life? Now you have this ability. >> I tell people there's a ████ ghost by you. >> Look at me crazy. >> Then how do you how do you prove how do you prove that you you're not crazy? >> He's like, "So which crypto should I buy there?" He's like, "There's three ghosts behind you." That's all I know. That's the best I could do right now. >> How do you prove that you're not just a cuckoo boy? >> That's not get to that point yet. >> You just got to trust me, dude. What do you want to see? Win loss stats from people's like fight records. >> I want to know how much you bench people. You want to know PRs? >> Oh, yeah. Injuries. That'd be sick. I can see I can see red right there. I'm like, "Oh, okay." Yeah. >> Medical records. >> That's way more practical than mine. MRI records. Okay. >> Everything. Medical history, your V2 max. Hey, that's good if you're like if that's your opponent and you're like, "How do I like take this guy down? Oh, he's got a bad MCL." >> Yeah, but I'm gonna rip that
3:22 >> by by three rounds. You can see his one of his legs is more tired than the other. >> See See your resting heart rate. >> Sweep the leg. >> See how hard how high your heart rate is or do I make you nervous when I touch your thigh? >> Resting ████ face. >> Yeah. Yeah. I can see right through that. >> If they're faking an injury. >> Yeah. Or if like they think I'm cool or something. >> Oh, >> hey. Do you like me? He does like me. Okay. Cool. There's like little hearts. >> Except he's sick. He likes me. He likes me. I'll be cool with him. Oh, like like if uh if somebody's lying. >> Yeah, that'd be perfect. >> That's what I want. Honestly, lie detector. >> Mine. I would if I could tell if someone's lying. >> That would ruin your life, though. >> I already have your heart rate. >> Why? >> Wouldn't you wouldn't you think that if you knew every time someone was lying, it would just make you really >> Okay, maybe not lie detector, but like like heart rate so that you can make a judgment on whether or not they're getting an anxious about something or they're hiding something.
4:12 >> But what if they're horny? Do you think >> Do you think Gio would ever just be saying random things that aren't true in front of you if you had that? >> Well, I would know. Then I would know, but it'll be tight. You go ████ go buy a car, you know? That's my lowest price, ████ >> Oh ████ ████ >> Can you turn it off? >> ████ luck. >> See, you could turn it off and then choose to turn it on. >> Oh, I would have an attitude detector. So, it's like, are you giving me attitude right now? And it would be like up and and then I could be like, "No, no, no. My reading said you were giving me attitude actually." So I'm I'm >> So like next time uh Tiff goes, "Oh, you're home early." >> Yeah. I'm like, "Oh, was that Oh, that my attitude marker was off the off the charts." >> That it's kind of like Barts, but a ████ meter will be good. >> ████ meter. Yeah. >> The the how bad it is, it will go up and down. >> Oh, >> cuz if it's like a little one cuz it's like, >> oh, they're just trying to be polite.
5:02 >> It's not going to go, you know. >> How about how about criminal record? Would you like to see that? >> Yeah, I want I want that one. >> You want that one? I want that one. Can that just be one of the tabs though? Again, like it's not on all the time, so you're just looking at a bunch of megas. >> What if what if you're walking around with some homeless people or or like some uh some bad neighborhoods and you want to see everyone's crime? >> I just need to know if they're lying. I'm like, hey, are you >> did you do any crime ever? >> Are you a threat to me right now? >> And then just based off their yes or no, we're like, I'mma suck my own dick. And then it's like honest honest honest, oh ████ he's about to suck his own dick. Then you can leave. >> I bet you're out of here. He's really going to do it. >> What? What if there was a bank account meter >> credit score >> just so you could judge people everyone's net worth they're like 400 credit score >> all the most all the most braggadocious people are like mad broke >> or asset meter cuz it's it's everything
5:53 they own from bank like everything yeah no one talking to me >> you know what's funny though I bet some of the richest people that you know are going to have negative net worth because of how they leverage their assets >> so it's going to trip you out be like wait a minute why do you have like negative 500 million >> all your bank or three times. >> But then that's just like how they, you know, how they do their business. >> Yeah. They know how to do that. They know how to even get to negative 500. >> Yeah. Real rich people have negative like net worth. >> By the time I'm negative thousand, they report all my ████ >> I think I'll be pretty basic with it in terms of what's actually useful without getting caught doing something weird >> like what like X-ray vision, you ████ pervert. >> Just for guys only. Guys only. Guys only. >> Just to be able to like uh quickly uh be able to get everything that that person chose to put online. Cuz like I oftentimes maybe you meet somebody like you forget their name or maybe you want to be cognizant of the fact that they just talked about how like their dog passed away and you want to just be sentimental to that or like maybe they
6:45 recently got a new job and you want to congratulate them or you know what I mean? Just like practical stuff >> like oh it's that person's birthday I should just go up and go happy birthday how the ████ did he know what a creeper >> cuz you know when like link up with a friend uh or or like a not like a friend friend but like an acquaintance friend and you're trying to just be like oh yeah like uh this just happened right but you're trying I already know already. Don't ████ tell me nothing. >> No, only things that they posted. >> Oh, >> only things that they >> You're not going to be like a Long Island medium. We're just guessing everything. >> You already cut half the small talk cuz you're aware or you can connect on it. >> You know, Robert, >> I'm seeing a graduation. >> Isn't that just Isn't that just Instagram then? >> Yeah. Are you saying like you could see it? >> You got But I'm not going to sit there. What if like somebody's like, "Hey, Anthony." I'm like, "Oh, where when did I last see you?" Like it would be sick if I just had cuz I don't have good memory like that. Like Ryan, >> you got to have your data sync to their Instagram. that too. >> Yeah.
7:35 >> But you know what I mean? >> Yeah. That is nice. That's nice. So sync. >> It's like just having like at the hip so that you can just be like, "Ah, got it." Boom. Yeah. >> That's quicker past the small talk if you actually want to engage in something. >> Okay. >> What if we just tell them that, hey, can we get past the small talk real quick? >> How are you doing? >> Imagine those social skills, >> bro. What do you What do you think are the most useless ones to have? >> Like in terms of Oh. Oh. just in general like >> ability ability to tell how what percentage Filipino they are. >> You're the 23 and me for them. Hey, did you know you're related to this? >> That's all I got. I can only tell Filipino. >> What you're allergic to? I think that would be >> useless. >> Useless shellfish, huh? >> Anaphylactic shock to everybody. >> You're a Dexus scan. What their current body fat percentage is. >> Oh, that's cool. You're a Dexis scan. >> That's nice. You could tell you could tell if someone had braces or not in
8:26 their life >> or last time they went to the dentist. >> Yeah. bio. >> You'll be sick. The last websites you visited the >> That's crazy. >> Like, oh, >> someone's recent browsing history by one page. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh ████ I don't want to know people like that. >> Or like random. The only thing you can X-ray is see how much ear wax they have. >> Oh. >> Oh, that's gross. >> Yeah, but mine's dry, so it's not that bad. >> Yeah, his is dry, so it's not that gross. >> I got a good useless one. >> The the wet ones are nasty. Is yours wet? >> No, I mean like I I got a good useless. I think most Asians are dry. >> Dry. >> Most of them. >> He wants to give his useless idea. >> What's your useless idea? >> It's so useless. >> Let's hear it. Figuring out what cotton percentage they're wearing. >> Ooh. >> Oh yeah. I I get so mad when I It's like 40% polyester. >> What is this? This is plastics, brother. >> That's very >> I would see my mine would be u if I
9:17 could see if there's any poop in your colon. That's what I would do. I would just check it out and x-ray it. >> What if you could What if you could see stolen valor? I just go to go to the side of the freeway and there's I like homeless man ask you for money. ████ you, dude. >> Wouldn't that be crazy though if you could if you could see Soul Valor and then you go to like one of those uh like Marine Corps events where everyone's a Marine and there's hell of people that are just sticking out. You're like >> and that purple heart is like actually you could see that it's it's bought from like some fake military store. the guy that's like hobbling on stage to give a speech and everyone's like he's like the hero. He's like say hello everyone and he's freaking target red. >> Was that like bad grandpa or whatever? Remember the >> I haven't seen it. >> You know be unnecessary but fun >> what >> to like just like know what the price or
10:08 the the quality of other people's like clothes or jewelry is >> that >> and then you just like go back with your wife and be like hey you know that person's ring is fake. >> Oh it's like the little diamond tester but like with your Yeah. or anybody's jewelry or anything. >> Phys physical net worth. Yeah, >> you can see where people are ticklish. >> Try it. Try it. I think you have that. I think you have that. I think you already have it. Try it. >> You have to keep your hands down. >> See, look. It's good. This is really good. I would like to see if there which uh which person on my flight is the air marshal. >> Oh, that would be so I'm always guessing that. >> So, you have a fun game. You have a fun game where you guess without it and then you turn it on. You're like, "Ah, I ████ He's my third choice." >> The woman. >> You're going to look like the Air Marshall. Every every time he gets on a plane, he just goes up and down both
10:59 aisles real quick. >> People are like, "That's the Air Marshall." You know what's funny? If you turn it on and everyone was the Air Marshall. >> What the ████ What the ████ >> They just all ended up booked on the >> I'm the only one, huh? Like >> somebody's entire dating history. Just a list. >> Oh, that'd be fun. M or their like body count list. So like their body count plus names. >> Oh, cuz they might not even know, >> dude. Oh. Oh, >> got the number and the people. >> Dude, that's rough. Oh, >> you guys ever forget? >> Do I forget? >> I mean, I haven't thought about it in a very long time. >> Think about it right now. Go. >> I I have to like really like >> I have to look into my soul. No, it's not me. >> Year by Anthony. Anthony me. Don't me. >> I want to see Eris's dude. That's what I want to see. I want to see your scientific notation body count. >> Oh my god, dude. >> If you've been ████ since a teenager,
11:50 that's a long time of ████ >> Don't include any of the ones from like freaking uh from from convention >> convention travels. >> Yeah, because then it's easier for me to count them. That's crazy. >> Oh my god. Guys, can we move on to the next useless one? >> Then then he's counting five at a time. 5 10 15 20 by 30. It's like scrolling a bunch. You got to go. >> That's one thing I was like, I wish I was a dancer cuz you guys get to go to non-English-speaking countries where we only go to Well, no. It's harder to connect to gay guys when you don't speak the language. >> I don't think that's true. >> It's easy. Just you just show them your balls. >> But you have a common language. It's >> But it's hard to tell who's gay when everyone seems gay. >> Oh, what if you just know who's gay by percentage? >> Ah, that's good. >> That would be so funny. >> That's a good What would Subin's
12:41 percentage be? >> Negative. He's a homophobe. >> Yeah, he's homophobe. >> That means sometimes they're the horny end, >> but he's not he's not negative enough to reach gay again. >> Yeah. >> You know, like it's on the leg of a circle. >> Yeah. It's on both ends. It's like, "Oh, you're gay or you're gay?" >> Yeah. But then when they did the study on homophobic guys, they put a dick meter, a boner meter on them, and then uh they made them watch gay porn, they got hard as ████ >> Do you think that would happen to you? >> What? >> If you watch enough gay porn, you get hard. >> ████ no. >> What the Don't get mad. This is a gay question. >> Oh yeah, I know. I'm mad. Fahob >> might be nice to know who the are. >> Oh yeah, >> I said that. >> You did? >> Did I? >> I thought just talking. >> Sex offender. >> What if you turn that on and then you you like wash your hands. You look in the mirror and tell a freaking highlighter. >> I'm going to jump off a cliff. Dude, >> it goes like this. Beep beep. And I move out the way. Someone behind me the whole time.
13:31 >> It's Nick. It's just movie. >> Nick's like, "Hey, hurry the ████ up with that fit." >> You never know, man. >> Yeah. Oh, what if you could tell if someone's black belt's real or not? >> I look in the mirror and I'm like, "Oh, that's me. It's fake.
// end of tape