0:00 thank you [Music] are you guys aware of the iPhone 14 yeah it's coming for me next Friday you ordered it already you ordered it are you stoked on it I'm so shallow guys I have to have the newest thing what's the new new dope ████ about it it's purple that's it that's it you guys said that as if it's a small thing yeah it's small it's never been purple before the whole thing to prepare is the camera the camera's supposed to be a little bit better I know about 10 times is it a special purple didn't they take away something at the bottom it's called Deep Purple oh and there's oh there's a on top there's a thing called what they call it something Island like so it apparently has a lot of information in that little so instead of a notch it's got like I guess when you notification center but they call it something something Island I forgot what it's called I just got it I didn't like
0:50 really like it I didn't need to be convinced I don't even have the 13 I have this you're the ideal application so this is what's he's considered an early adopted this is what Steve Jobs's daughter um said on her Instagram after the review what did she say me upgrading from iPhone 13 to 14 after Apple's announcement today you're the same ████ shirt yes you do you that's you being like do it has like a little strip but I don't know what it does but like you know it gives you information or something I'm sorry timeout did I not mention that it's purple exactly because like hey look this is the 13. that's blue sky blue right let's see if you see the way okay what if I just ████ smash it it's covered do you get the new one every year yeah wow
1:46 yeah you don't buy anything used did you just find out you can buy used ████ wait what do you mean you like he might not have even known this home he gets a new dog every year car outside 2022. oh it's getting kind of old yeah I did oh you need to get rid of that my dog will never die get a new dog every year when you say used do you mean like someone else used it and then they sell it yeah okay I'm not you never heard of that I'm not understanding that really have you heard about her what do you think is inside Goodwill have you heard of thrift shops like Thrifty the ice cream no no no no there's a store yeah that's used ice cream where people donate pecan praline right wait people don't know they donate clothing furniture and he could go in for a good price but yeah that's where I drop off my old phone but someone else wore it
2:36 that's nasty like you have all their dirt on you yeah I mean you wash it yeah you can wash it so you you don't care if Apple's innovating you just want the new model every year like for you it's just like you buy the hype you'd love it and that's fine by the way you're allowed to do this you're allowed to sound like a ████ idiot right now no it's fine you know there's nothing that brings me more joy than when a white guy says I can do something you feel so empowered don't you yeah no Innovation like what else what else can happen with longer battery life better okay one thing that could happen is I do wish the front-facing camera and the back facing camera was equal quality okay because one's like one's like ████ one's super good because they don't know that we Vlog when the Blackberry came out you know what people said ████ like that yeah oh dude what's next nothing but
3:27 okay like no but I really I put a lot of thought into this like what what could possibly happen to a phone I'll give you two things please don't please do on fob your voice so you sound like hello yes this is Walter yeah you said they do that though they have they have to yeah but it'll be built in second one remove all traces of Photoshop from people's photos when you're viewing them through your phone whoa wait that's a privacy concern yeah that's also I don't want to know that all my friends are ugly um so what about what about if they uploaded the newest album by you too oh oh yeah delayed it's not the oldest one not the not the ones you say the oldest one or the the newest the newest one not the old one from like five years ago no no the new YouTube so what if they uploaded for free yeah for free it's like it's a it's a give me you know it's a lucky day like and then when
4:17 I download it no it's just already pre-loaded it's preloaded it's cool I probably wouldn't listen to it but you know oh well you probably have to I'll give you a third one I'll give you a bonus one yes on the new phone you can hear what people are saying while they are waiting for you to pick up so you can hear them go let me call this ████ right now okay so you you you're into just throwing privacy out the window is basically I got a wild idea how about I don't have to update it every 30 minutes yeah dude I think that'd be ████ crazy actually come consist of ████ downloading viruses on your phone so it ████ up after a year and you gotta buy a new one that's why I haven't uploaded my updated but he's immune to that how about it's not a closed system I can actually get it upload all my photos to it without it ████ deleting all my photos oh that's called Droid go you go to delete all my ████ that's what I'm saying feel free
5:07 ████ I gotta keep this ████ piece of ████ because of that I want a Droid you can't do that they cannot take all of your ████ and then just put it into the news yeah it's called iCloud it's an app bro there's actually an app that does that bro it overwrites your old ████ dude the Verizon app it actually puts it on their Cloud yeah see why doesn't Apple want to do that for me though wait they do have a clock yeah apple can do it yeah no apple can do it it just takes ████ forever yeah you got to leave your phone just like 12 hours but I'll do it yeah but why would you want to go from Mercedes down to like Honda Civic is what I would ask um because it's cheaper because Too Fast Too Furious I keep I feel like I'm not saying it properly yeah let me see it this purpose I need to Picture This is it a a prince purple or is it more like a a grape purple they call it deep purple it's not it's the purple it's called Deep Purple yeah yeah no it's not that what happened
5:57 to just the black one they have that too oh look the gold ones were the best ones what color MacBook you have you got a ████ rose gold one I don't have I actually don't have a Macbook what yeah you got a Droid ████ laptop I don't have a laptop I have an iMac that's not purple it's like sky blue man what color iMac you have that's not purple at all that's the performance one so they only kind of one color but if I got the other one I'd probably get whatever however whatever color I feel like that day hey why Dave what the ████ why do I only have two kids this isn't the pro that's not the pro that's just the 14. well you said that was fine oh you got the how much is a 14. I get the 256 gig it's 1100.
6:51 you still pay a thousand dollars for the new one no I'm part of the Jump program the Apple like Pro program so I just pay monthly oh okay yeah well so like yeah no so like I don't like cases because it then it covers up the beautiful color they do make it a very beautiful phone yeah and then I don't like the bulk in my pocket but if you're clumsy like me if you don't have a case it's ████ trash Bart uses his phone as a ████ cup holder yeah like not not gonna load I don't I don't drop my phone I might crack my phone all the time no you take care of your ████ I don't know why you can't actually dropped their phone all the time actually I I didn't know that white men Korean men we do not really we hold out the things we like you hold on right now we don't just let them go yeah it's pretty good man I'm intimidated he's done that before he's got a new one on the way he'll let
7:42 you break it that's true and all we gotta do when you get your new phone you gotta come back and then give a performance review of the new phone and then you're going to be super ████ like underwhelmed with how long it is yeah so it has this like it has this like app on it I don't know what it would a phone compare it with your old one and hook you up to a ████ polygraph and you tell us why it's better that thing's gonna start smoking I'll tell you every phone I get I don't like start new like I just uh upload my old phone into my new one right so it always looks the same like it just doesn't feel different same background but recently Apple deleted my data what yeah it was this whole long story but like um long story short what a great company they didn't tell me they just go hey because they thought that when they told me that the logic was logical was gonna be replaced that I would know that it's gonna be a race but I don't even
8:32 know what the logic board is or whatever you know what that is exactly just an apple consumer so then when I when I started over fresh it felt so cool like I got a new phone it feels technologically advanced so on this new one I may not upload my uh current phone into it I may just kind of like just download app by app again yeah just make you like that experience what about your cool photos of the stuff where you can put that well that'll put on my computer oh yeah I'll put on my computer and then just download those later but like yeah that feeling of like oh like it's because you know when you get a phone it's not like you're like looking at it all day it's just you're just looking at when you're using it so most of it is when you're on it and you're in it then you're like oh it has to feel new for me because it's new okay but like that doesn't feel new but like you know when I look at I'm like oh yeah this is cool but when you buy something used it's still new to you because it's new can you go back to the used concept I don't quite understand
9:22 how much do you get off on on the unboxing experience and the little pills okay yeah when you say get off yeah I don't get off anymore and I'll tell you why okay Apple has been skimping I I read an article on the packaging let me skip the packages no it's not the same you know before you used to be able to hold the package and it would slowly yeah yeah exactly it doesn't do that as well anymore because they've gotten rid of a lot of like the the um Indulgence is that ████ Tim Cook or whatever the ████ his name is ████ ████ I think it's the guy below him that does the design stuff I know like Johnny Ivey he left it was like some other guy you know and these guys are all super Petty as soon as one of them leaves the projects that they say no to they immediately put on so like I don't know if you guys remember the iPhone originally to delete email you swiped
10:12 right and it made sense because most people held their phone with their left hand and they swiped right to get rid of an email well one of the guy that guy left and the guy below him was like I hate that and he made it left are we that ████ spoiled we need to like dude programmers are honestly the ████ worst oh yeah no programmers there's nerds we'll make things that's why Steve Jobs did so well right he made he simplified things for the consumer for the end user but programmers will overly complicate ████ like have you updated your ████ on accident because I did recently and the ████ calendar on the phone is a goddamn nightmare again it's a goddamn nightmare I used to know what the ████ was going on calendar and now when I open up my calendar I'm like holy ████ that's how it looks yeah that's how it looks that's ████ don't don't update your ████ dude I'm not going to I haven't I haven't yeah you guys should see the very opposite mine's an automatic update yeah mine updates you would do that yeah I had I
11:02 automatically update everything I just want to know what day it is to do I don't want to see all my ████ yeah are you on an automatic upgrade too for whatever the new phone comes out it just takes the money from your account I wish it was automatic it's not I had to wake up at five this morning to reserve it no I had reserved it before but then to finish it off you have to do it at five in the morning what a great and it did it over to five it didn't open at five it was 502. is this controversial because his own daughter is like not putting her stab of approval on it and she's just laughing about it the idea is that uh Steve Jobs rolling in his grave and has been since he left Apple tell him what's Steve Jobs daughter's name is Eve Steve Jobs Steve and Eve pretty good right right I thought it was because it's apple he also has a daughter named Lisa oh that's cool well that's the one that he is well
11:53 he named the computer after that later but he still told her no it's not after you yeah I just like the name Lisa yeah I know it's kind of a ████ up weird thing but kind of weird kind of strange wait where is it from huh Lisa what's her name Lisa's the daughter he would acknowledge that was her name yeah whoa he he said that that's not my daughter for a long time and then but then at the same time he created a new a computer at Apple and called it the Lisa and then like yeah she confronted him about it and he still was like no it's not after you the later he got to it wow he's a troubled man I heard he's a he's quite the ████ face well he was an ████ as like the whole thing but what he did was incredible like obvious I mean so many times like Pixar apple right he did the next which was his biggest failure but he wasn't a ship face to the consumer that's what I love no exactly he made it so easy
12:44 he fired the stupid programmers who did stupid ████ where he's like why is this over the complicated why can't people just use it and that's why when the iPhone came out your mom could use it for the first time ever your a new piece of technology comes out your parents could use because he just made it like oh yeah you can just ████ zoom in zoom out exactly and then intuitive he made you know they kept pushing him let's make a bigger filming before he's like no because I want people to build user with one hand yeah and so like the five iPhone five is the last one where it was thin I think now it's the mini that you can use one hand but they're gonna they make they may discontinue it but as they got bigger you can't use the one here you know when you're driving yeah yeah you have to like balance your phone and then you're and then it gets on then you drive all crazy I'm trying to go 100 miles an hour how like how am I gonna do it like this exactly this is so hard yeah stupid ████ programmers don't know human beings and ████ [Music]
13:42 thank you
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