0:00 on New Year's every year that's like the one time that they can party they get like two drink tickets it's lit we did the show and stuff but I realized I was in the two percent of females and I was an outside female I was getting tossed around like these people were going crazy like just all these men haven't seen an outside girl in so long I was literally getting crowd surfed wow [Music] yeah welcome back to another awesome episode of the careful boys where we today have a very special guests obviously the new hire his name is Jason also have Miss Christiana Farina here in the building foreign ER choreographer actor extraordinaire I
0:52 believe something like that yeah how do we have this random lady here uh odd friends with with that guy over there yay everybody he's wild he's the best and how do you this random guy and this random lady get to know each other well I just want to start the reason I'm actually here today he texted me and he was like Hey I told these guys that you're really funny so can you be on the podcast which is like really sets the expectation and we're like I can't wait for her to make us laugh that's a lot of pressure I know he's like I told him you're funny so do a tight 10 minutes we'll just sit back yeah now she's gonna think that she has to be funny which will ruin the funny I know yeah just be friends a thousand percent and I also do want to say before we get into me my stuff is I actually
1:43 know you guys I told Ryan this um my old roommate I lived with this like male model guy probably the gym stuff not me not me stop looking at me like that I know not Anthony but um he loved watching just kidding news and it would play on the TV every morning I had no clue who you guys were but I'd listen to you every day he's like he still listens to it so that's awesome that's tight I wonder if he's watching that during his Calvin Klein commercials what was his name Brett Maverick Brett Maverick yes he's fine yeah I remember that dude yeah he's fine Maverick Maverick dude owner Brett Maverick yeah he's a he's a nice guy so when you were like listening you know eavesdropping on on JK through Brett Maverick such a ████ funny dude
2:33 that better not be his real name dude that's a stage name even the name is actually is Maverick that's still a sexy middle name are you entertained or were you like this is stupid as ████ who the ████ is this are these people it took me a minute but I feel like once I got to know you guys I was like you're two boys you know hell yeah I'd wake up I said what's up on the TV you know hello guys hello yeah non-stick I'm happy to be here oh yeah thank you thank you for coming oh that's tight I didn't even know that because like right before the cameras turned on you're like who the ████ are these guys yeah I just made it so how so how did you how did you meet get connected with Ryan well um I met through a mutual friend um I was kind of talking to this guy a little bit and they were all in the same friend group and Ryan and I immediately
3:25 just say his name just say his name was it um why'd you say jmo it's such a hesitate I didn't R Kelly why do you say that kind of hesitance basically I was hooking up with all these boys that were all his friends I'm totally kidding oh ████ they were the boys I hung up with the boys too yeah I know who hasn't hooked up with them what Eskimo brothers got a fat butt okay so you're hooking up with something and then but what's the hesitance behind the name there's no hesitance at all oh
4:15 okay okay um so I was hanging out with the boys I was like these guys are so sick you know the Quest Crew stuff they're breaking a lot I'm a dancer I had never done breaking or anything but they do these crazy tricks head spins flips and stuff and I was like I need to learn this teach me so I'd come to the rehearsals that's tight would make me do crazy ████ um what kind of crazy she was like a guinea pig like you could just tell her hey do this and she didn't have a scope of how hard it was and you were telling her you're like oh it's easy and then she would just do it do a 2000 yeah anything anything dude yeah yeah but don't you need like step Stones you need like you gotta learn this before you do this before you do this I think it's the men I think it's a mental hack of like telling before she wasn't even walking yeah yeah it's literally that because like a little helmet for your head spins all right a beanie yeah she had a little spin cap no wrist no wrist guard for
5:05 your turtle just hitting it she like understood body mechanics enough where it's like he was picking it up to the point where she fell ass backwards into a ████ B girl gig remember that oh yeah my my first real professional job National Commercial I submitted for like this under armor breaking commercial and I booked it what I I hit up and this was after two weeks of like messing around with this stuff like I didn't know anything about it I hit up the voice I was like you guys I have a couple weeks you have to teach me everything you know about breaking so I don't show up to this job and don't know what I'm doing and it ended up working out I really think I got it because tight fasting because you know this little blonde white girl comes in is like I can break and they're like sick um I showed up on the job I'm not wrong you know how b-boys all have names yeah I
5:57 show up on the job and they're like so what's your name I was like Kristen there's like people in gravity there's cases of like all these sick names and I was like ah Kristen I was like oh beagle Christian that's cool Kristen with a K yeah I that I mean my name is with a K so I didn't belong but I made it happen I feel like that's how it works like you fake it and I was just like you said mental headspace I was so overly confident when I shouldn't have been and it actually made it work so yeah a lot of people he's looking for someone to fill the spot too that's what they don't know it's behind the scenes when you're trying to start a gig or like get it get something going or like you're trying to cast or like you're trying to hire
6:47 somebody people need people to show up so it's better to just try it more than not yeah any gig yeah just show up about my fake Korean story what what all right so um I was at my unit in the military right third England call they're gonna do this exercise in Korea and they needed translators so obviously all the random white guys were like all right you like five people you need to come to the office right now and I'm one of them okay just the Asians yes they bring us in there and then uh my friend automatically books because they know that he's um 100 like Korean and any translators and this is like a very like thorough process because anytime you go into like any like specialized base they do crazy clearances that you could be like top secret and all this stuff right so you
7:38 have to fill out like almost like a phone book worth of information they call all your references it's nuts they have all that info but they don't have nationality so they did all that on me right and then and the whole time I'm just crossing my fingers on my dude my homie my best friend at the time was going I was like I want to go this ████ sick even though you can't translate dude it doesn't matter so so there was uh three of us I don't know four of us that was supposed to go four Korean translators supposed to go one of them dropped out one of them is my my best friend the other guy is in my unit I mean in my section and then me but do they all know that you can't speak they don't know yet I got hired to go the whole time I have like my ████ seabed or on the plane
8:29 I'm just like oh ████ this gonna be so crazy I'm like I'll just letting my homie I was like Hey like any time that like they ask a question or whatever and they need us to translate you just jump ahead and then based off what you say I'll fill in the blanks also he knew them yeah he's my best friend my best friend yeah like he's he's the guy that has this tattoo with me oh my God he was good he would be like oh yeah they need to like I don't know like let's say move some missiles or whatever oh yeah the missiles need to be lumos we showed up in the for the U.S military yeah we showed up in the middle of the night in this ████ uh base and Busan which is like Southern Korea yeah and then um they go hey Park come here we need you so he might my buddy gets sent outside right because he has to go translate over there then another guy comes in and he goes Quan come here and I was like oh ████ my friend's not with
9:20 me so I walked up to it I was like yes sir he goes tell me what he's saying right now and I was like oh he speaks a way different dialect than I'm used to oh good oh that's good dude that dialect is pretty nuts for real some people Busan like I cannot understand it's like someone with a really heavy Australian accent yeah but you can't understand it so that's real you can look better that was the smartest excuse you could have used really damn it and then I would have ████ froze dude the whole time they're like oh man it's motherfucker's useless I didn't get in trouble I just got put on like really s█████ duties but I was just using what was it like watching a graveyard or something no so they put me almost so they put me in night shift and I'm just doing radio checks because like uh they're doing like this exercise in case North Korea invades South Korea so they
10:10 got to make sure all like communication is open and clear between like the U.S and South Korea so like it's so important yeah you can't mess this up like I'm like this I'm like um ████ what are the names the call signs are so stupid too they're like knife companies it'd be like Swiss Rod sword broadsword this is Ginsu do you read me like I read you uh don't be like I'll read you loud and clear I'm like oh okay thank you and I'm just doing this from 9pm all the till 9 A.M the whole night but at least you got to go to Korea for free did he at least teach you some Korean words like just Baseline so you could like pretend yeah like the normal ████ like ████ sheepsick
11:01 at least a war didn't start because of your mistranslation that would have been hilarious Zone they put you in a meeting with Kim Jong-un and then they're like Quan tell me what he's saying he's like I don't understand it he said he wants to start a war that ████ you know then glorious bastard scene maybe I hold up three the wrong way that ████ Chinese I'm like oh ████ you ain't even gonna make it that far you're gonna be the guy who's like gourlami yeah I know I'm like ████ first of all how many people do you feel like in the military are doing dumb ass ████ like that like pretending like you know that there's they're being somewhere they're not supposed to be very few great answer okay my my trust in my faith I'm the
11:51 only guy in boot camp that uh so in boot camp really scared s███████ I always still have like a I wonder what what happens if like a little party side of my brain that's a party size yeah so there's a part where you go and buy supplies and stuff there's a place that I saw that you could buy disposable cameras I'm like dude I gotta take some pictures of Boogie I was just crazy they've never seen ████ like this before so I would like pretend like I had a stomach ache I gotta go to the hospital and I would just swing by there real quick and buy a disposable camera and then so at night or like whenever like I feel like uh is a good opportunity where the drill instructors aren't around I'd be like it's not random like little pictures of boot camp that I probably have never been seen you're like a spy ████ big trouble dude I know can they can they like let's say somebody who's somebody who does ████ like this gets
12:42 hold of this type of footage looks so you can be like dishonorably discharge you after the fact no no if I can't hold you accountable for the ████ up dumb ████ you did no for legal reasons it's all fiction for legal reasons it's all things yeah it's all Fiction it's all made up it's always Mark's got so many for real did that during these periods of his years I understand I relate to you because I faked the time made it yeah I am speaking of military stuff uh you got me booked on the job dancing for red food oh yeah yeah I did it yeah yeah so uh red from LMFAO we went out to Abu Dhabi and we had a show and it was for the U.S military base out there which is one of the coolest experience I've ever had but it was so fun because they were just two dancers it was just me and then a guy really really small and on New Year's every year that's like the one time that they can party they get like two drink tickets it's lit we did the show and
13:34 stuff but I realized I was in the two percent of females and I was an outside female I was getting tossed around like these people were going crazy like just all these men haven't seen an outside girl in so long I was literally getting crowd surfed wow across the freaking out yeah just partying with me and you were down for it you're like yeah yeah I have videos of it I'm on like people's shoulders I'm like there's guards you know they got their guns and stuff I'm like dancing on them oh my gosh it's so fun so thanks for booking me on hey yeah I made so many bomb jokes when I was there because we were with food you made bomb jokes at the Uso no not at the show not on the mic but we got that would have been hilarious just grab somebody
14:27 with food he was making bomb jokes too yeah we got a tour of the whole base oh like shine missiles and stuff there were just so many so there's a missile out there that exploded a terrorist camp with your name on it it's actually terrible that it was it was being used we signed it I who asked you to sign it like the fighter pilot was like can you sign my missiles it was like a thing yeah Thomas movies were like the missile falls but it's a dud but it happens to be signed by somebody and that person who still had like their ████ sheep hurt her family father killed by that missile drop is like oh Kristen is bum and he's gonna ████ dedicate the entire life total different girl that's it girl
15:18 that's wild but that was fun or was it wild to like possibly think about the idea that since you were in the two percent of like girls being thrown around and crowd surfed by a bunch of dudes who haven't seen like human flesh or like females for a long time but they were looking at you like just straight meat like did that bother you at all no I would there was nothing that like went too far like I understood it and I was having fun with him because there are Men of Honor yeah they were cool right yeah it's not like they were like translation skills did you feel like the hottest girl in town oh yeah I was having the time and you get to choose the hottest guy that you wanted to damn wow that must be amazing not only the hottest guy the hottest 10
16:09 guys you wanted to to marry lawfully to marry me yeah right that's right really Mary yeah you know and to if I was the only guy emotional love and support for an Amazonian warrior women are there and I'm the only guy I would have been like dude I'm in heaven I feel like moments like that is when like all the guys are trying to talk to her and then somewhere in the back a dude turns around and goes Leave the Girl Alone like that's the guy you pick and there's another guy in the corner that's like I'm I'm Chinese back yeah just be Korean or him or him equal chances yeah either or oh that's good to know um so you were also mentioning that you like completely nearly died because of Ryan what was
17:00 that story particularly because of me it's not because of Ryan at all I'm gonna blame it on you okay uh I said like I am really Fearless like I do a lot of stuff I love adrenaline things always doing crazy things he fears everyone yeah nobody says this is another language in Korean in Japanese in Japanese lots of language mistakes continue um yeah so I was on a roof in Miami I wasn't even like there's not a cool story to it I wasn't drunk or anything I was completely sober but my Airbnb had this rooftop um where you'd like climb a ladder go up there it was such a pretty view so I'd go up there every night I was supposed to be in Miami for New Year's and it was Christmas Eve I was up there hanging out
17:50 on the way down coming from this ladder I fell off this roof 15 feet backwards on the concrete you just slipped right yeah he facetimed me and I was like hello Ryan popped out of the ████ chimney and 300 kicked her in the stomach and said this is Florida that's exactly what happened yeah I've just slipped out of nowhere I slipped out of nowhere you were by yourself uh there was one other person with me oh thank goodness went down but he didn't catch me oh wait like it was it was high like he just he just saw it happen did he fall first no yeah he did it he's already down there yeah and then he's like you didn't catch me I was kind of broken arms you know like Home Alone
18:40 yeah pretty much uh I broke six bones oh ████ yeah I I kind of dancers know how to fall you know and so I knew not to like hit my head or anything and it was high enough for me to process it so I braced it all with my left side broke six bones dislocated shoulder spray my back I was in the hospital on Christmas they were like Merry Christmas like making all these jokes I'm on morphine I'm like let's go um did you um were you unconscious or were you like I would I was conscious it like I had never broken anything before but I almost like I didn't really feel the pain at first I was like so jacked up you know how you kind of like yeah yeah you're like in shock yeah I was in I was in shock abs like was it like bones sticking out and ████ like that like it was it was just a little bit crooked especially shocked but you also were
19:31 able to process how like ████ up you were I didn't I didn't know how it was actually worse than what I thought I thought it was kind of just like because I saw my hand was really messed up my fingers were different ways but I actually had like fractures in like the hand wrists the elbows like like the point in different directions it just all crushed um but yeah so I was out of stuff for you like over a year I was all casted um so I couldn't dance and stuff so I have a little bit more fear I'm not doing as much crazy stuff as before but it's called getting older yeah can you still move like you used to move oh look at that wow maybe those broken bones helped you more one of those wow wow joint angles of your hair yeah I did look at that ████ right there dude is that before or after the audition the
20:22 breakdancing oh that was way after oh wait after yeah that was her first one when you when you were first in doing entertainment right huh oh yeah yeah yeah I have a friend in high school you're very lucky uh because he jumped off a roof and missed the pool and now he's paralyzed he missed the pool missed the pool it's kind of stupid yeah sorry about your friend do you want to talk about it oh we're out of time
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