0:00 [Music] and welcome back everybody to an amazing off the Record where today we are in the most beautiful office that we are so proud to be a part of and we hope the fans actually like it this time okay yes thank you we don't care if you do cuz we're not changing it back yeah we're not changing it back and we know what you did last time you called ████ sellouts ████ you these are like meanwhile totally different fans I know I those ones ████ those ones if you're subscrib though thank you but that last set was bad though so I agree actually no ████ me go okay I didn't like the set either what do you some people have told me they like that set are you talking about the revamped news set the glowy set the big one the big ass one at the downtown office it was like a professional it didn't bother them that much but that's also like you guys had to sit and like
0:50 talk to each other sideways yeah I didn't like that I also didn't like how it was fake it's like a Vicon panel you're like yeah yeah yeah it's crazy well this one is real cuz you can still play pool side yeah if you're if you're good this one's real because you can feel that there was someone who understood this and put it together not a depressed lady who was like in her Dark Times m is that who designed the last one that's what he said yeah that was the office okay so that's real ████ we hired a lot of bad on professional help here's our question for the day in what way would you most like to become famous in what way I thought we famous yeah I thought we your your opportunity to answer certain things like making a cure for a cancer or some ████ that's cool you you think you think Nelson do you think Nelson Mandela has guys trying to Jack him try
1:43 to jack it Nelson Mandela no his that's the kind of Fame is good so like or Morgan Freeman so like the kind of Fame that you want is like Nobel Peace Prize Fame you don't want like like not even that he does even that's name a Nobel Peace Prize winner how about how about best gym 2024 mandal all right not even that what that attracts C Ty on behal of themselves first so we can get clear bearing and then we can start I want to do this to every deflector cuz you going to deflect into some yeah we might as well take the first seven minutes for that if I had to pick something that I was going to be famous for it would have to be I would like it to be the work that I do you so your your business training people if I had to pick one thing it would it would I would rather goes public on the New
2:33 York Stock Market maybe not that but like in the ways that you see how trainers can uh like blow up there's like celebrity TV trainers there's people that just have crazy apps that make like six seven figures a month like in what way would you like to be I think to be able to help more people right like in the way of like okay I have I could build a big audience or something I guess if I had to pick one with thing yeah that'll probably be it I I don't think I'd ever be like like a celebrity trainer I don't think that I don't think that's the route you don't want to teach the rock how to do things the ████ am I going to teach the rock dude how to do things real naked choke how to deflect yeah no but like you know the people that actually probably need it you know the people that would actually need health and fitness help like disabled people but they're the worst cuz they complain and ████ maybe you could be known for helping people who overshare
3:24 deflect you're sharing too much do it like this ask the question three more times when you meet someone don't tell them your life story play a little hard again yeah look at me look at me look see I'm not saying anything just be enter a state of mind where you think anything you say is not interesting yeah yeah yeah and that's that's how I go oh you know you know what I would like I like the fame that Adam Sandler has oo that's cool he's a famous guy but he's famous for not acting like a famous guy it's true oh cuz you see him just playing basketball just wearing regular clothes regular guy people give him a shirt and they're like this is my kid softball team and then the next day he's wearing it on like TMZ and ████ so dope that is actually so like Keo Reeves yeah I mean or like how like how Adam Sandler went to IHOP and they couldn't see him and he's like okay well thanks we'll go somewhere else like that's so sick dude
4:15 what if you're at IH out though and you're Adam sley like talk to the ████ manager do you know who the ████ I would have to do it there that's the only place I would ever do that like there's no way you haven't seen Mr Deeds come on that's ████ crazy they didn't just bust out us spare table I'm like Mr Sandler please right here but that's like cuz he's trying to teach his daughter like the respect and stuff like it's funny because you technically don't have to change cuz you could just be yourself everyone expects you to be an ████ but you're really still you you get credit for it now that's pretty cool kind dope Adam Sandler Kevin James and um uh uh Rob Schneider they they came to my restaurant that I was was a bus bus boy at and then um we had to get a security to kind of like Velvet Rope around them cuz people were trying to bother them and then when they finished they said bye to every person staff
5:06 everybody said thank you to all the staff and then they left so dope every single person a bunch of losers put a Velvet Rope what a I like the idea of being famous for not acting like a famous guy that's cool I like that that's probably the best case scenario right no yours was I don't think so helping millions of people across the world fix their knee problems why is that that's not deflecting dude ████ you what would you do Anthony Lee yeah what would you do you want to be the world's best dancer in the world face is that face you look like you're Plugged In The Matrix on the one hand uh no I wouldn't want to be famous for dance because then I think it would unlike Nick you already are famous for dance true you can't beat Michael Jackson I think it would like perpetuate me needing to work in that space whereas like it would be dope to be quote unquote so successful that I would I wouldn't have to dance for work you know
5:56 what I'm saying I dance for dance for money anymore yeah yeah dance for money for dollar bills so so on the more logical what's actually within the realm I would love to be ████ famous for JK news which would mean that we' be killing it so hard cuz right now right now we're very like maybe like zclass we're middling we my brains but you are the Jackson Wang of JK for sure that's racist I thought he would wanted to be a noodle man I thought that's what I thought the whole time a noodle distributor shoe cobbler I that too a car salesman take out mochan I mean I like M shine oh yeah why would you want them to close what you're doing cut that out cut that out B that's that's why kbang all day baby okay but you know what I mean like if I was like if I was super famous for JK news that
6:46 probably be like maybe our salaries are bumped right back up wow you're really you're really thinking outside of yourself that's really cool well when you think about it this is I think for most of us I I think I'm speaking for all of us this is the most fun thing that we all do absolutely so yeah I think being known for this place is a good answer too slow sucker you still ow me that shot go get it right now recover recovery get it Nick cuz you suck at Street Fighter that have to take a shot he does have to take a shot and I'm collecting on it mid video because he dissed me and I'm offended no I agree though oh you're not here you say like being known for dance just leads to more dance and being famous for dance sucks ass when you imagine being every time you're where anybody's dancing you get that
7:37 ████ shove on the small of your back and people are like get in there smoke that guy do your thing like that's old even when you're not a dancer that's annoying so now I know what to do to Ryan bro well no because you you there is there is that connotation of the dance monkey dance syndrome that happens when you're like but are you like I don't even do Crump and then they still push you and you're like I'm a break it doesn't even matter yeah it's so weird that only certain professions get that cuz it's not like if you have like two podcasters like Joe Rogan Lex Freeman just start talking yeah just start talking just talk I just want to hear yeah but if they say you're a comic you're like tell me a joke I'm sure that yeah I'm sure that happens with magicians too magicians probably be like hey do a trick you know you know what you got to say you're a writer cuz no one's going to say o get a pen of paper ████ write write for me you said
8:28 you're a writer cuz I was like I am even cooler or riding on a bck right I'm a rider dude rider that's a lot of work so much work for Ryan yeah Ryan has to take up take off his ████ pants dry skin right now there how do I moisturize this thing I will say that there was that High School s me that fantasized about being famous for like you know saving somebody oh yeah that's Co just being like a one time Action Hero that's every male dream though every guy that especially in that group when you're in high school you're like if I saved someone's life all these girls would want me yeah yeah when someone goes like this the sword and you go like that like oh dude home dude ████ that stopped the shooter at the monter park dance studio yeah granted I don't remember his name right now but we know what he did Brandon right and he's a JK
9:19 fan yeah he really John's cookie place yeah and it's not like it's not like we run into him we're like Yo dude stop this shooter you know what I mean it's just like yo you did a ████ solid though he he that guy is so cool where were you cuz he's so real when I ran into him I was like yo that ████ scary as ████ he was like ████ yeah dude cuz you think like no dude ████ took him out whatever he's like no I was ████ shaking man that's ████ scary the scariest ████ of my life I was like damn I wish he would come on JK so Joe could have told him what he should have done better yep I'll tell you you ████ weak ████ first civil I think there's two ways which achieve the same level of Fame for me that I would go is one is the world peace route and the other one is destruction to World Peace route destruction to world peace is like the ultimate backs space of the world it's
10:10 like a a UNIF they call them like unifying Kings but really they're just the king that won a massive region and there's no competition that's why there's peace right the United lamb killed Millions oh I see what you mean like the first ████ warlord of Japan it's called the Shogun that unified the whole Island right or like I don't know Alexander the Great he's kind of great cuz he UniFi but it's such a long time ago that you can pillage and and murder and kind of go into a space and take over a space and then people go that's that's tight you know it's a different time you got to wait maybe a thousand years from now and then they go dude Joe the conquer that guy's ████ tight so because of those reasons I would I would probably go the more Gandhi route World
11:00 Peace like I stood up I made ████ salt at the sea I didn't let you tax me you know oh I'm a peaceful protester you know like you kind of got Godlike status but you didn't have to cause harm yeah I like that how come you're not doing anything in that realm at all there's nothing to fight for nothing like all no like everyone's fight for weak ass ████ like everyone I'm really a girl like you know like I know like ████ what is there fight for not yeah cuz how it's done everything's they ████ took my ideas already yeah yeah nobody's Fighting by anything right now yeah all the big problems are solved take me back maybe a hundred years I I can probably find a few things but right now like the Spanish influenza is there one you want to fix for fun no it's like YouTube
11:50 right now there's so many ████ YouTubers already that are famous it's like they already did it already like there's no chance for me no passion project no there's no root for you at the top there is it that's kind of how I feel damn dude that's why they call them social justice Warriors they're like made fun of cuz there's no real fight going on they're just fighting for stupid did you get that it did can you give that speech on the capitol mall Capitol Mall yeah it's not called Capitol Hill well the capitol mall is like the outside area where JFK where um Martin Luther King Talked oh by ████ Abraham Lincoln's the outside party that ████ is tight imagine all the be there for you all right oh you mean in the scene in Forest gun where like Jenny is like running through the water and ████ yeah during the Million Man March yeah oh man oh man what about you
12:40 Stephen I mean I always like to choose a funny option because like it would be it'd be so absurd to be known is like it's like hey dude oh you're Steve Green I'm like yeah and then like dude your speed running videos are incredible like ████ Mario 64 in 2 and a half seconds like that was crazy I'm like thanks brother yeah but let's get all right let's get out of here I feel like Steve would be a Guinness world of records guy really for like the most useless ████ yeah like he would fight hard to be like I'm the guy that does the most ████ nuts in his mouth like as a troll record yeah like I got the most peanuts in the mouth pters in my mouth like made it stack in crypto so many times and lost it so many times so many times that's true and he wants that record more than actually he wants the money hey it to me it's all about being known for the weirdest or dumbest thing that's funnier to me than like you're known for like a cool thing it's like I don't take myself that seriously
13:30 first of all you're not a benevolent man yeah I like that answer I think that I'm probably on I'm probably riding with that answer the most out of all of you so far especially not you damn um because yeah that one there's just it's like you basically said I want I want to conquer the world but then the world's not worth conquering anymore yep makes you think huh yeah it's like cans here why would you want okay let me tell you this genas Khan was a great warrior and at that time now now you done it at that time it was a great time to conquer great time great time yeah no World Police nobody nobody you just ████ do it you do whatever you want now what do they call you terrorist so you just worried about the
14:21 bad press and ████ dude there's too many nuclear weapons all the propaganda you got to probably to do too much can we put like a lower third and just have like like a cpan ticker whenever Joe's talking there's a guy that I think you would really like it's a real thing that happened um he's uh he goes around and gives like speeches at schools because he was like a Olympic skater for like speed skating but he only got the gold because everybody in front of him fell and crashed into each other he's from Australia yeah so then he he go he'll go to schools cuz he's like the only guy who ever wanton a gold that's ████ dope that's so sick but then he just slowly like finished the race after everybody was already like Zed out and then he'll go to schools and and talk and smack was telling about him because she had to see him speak and she said that all he says is like you know you just got to hang in there and and never give up because uh just never know
15:13 that's amazing not trolling but that's why I think you would like him I love him he's famous for that probably number 20 but all 19 all fell on the ground say though because the to me the funniest choice would be to be like I'm the fastest man in the world you if if it's because of that you have to change it cuz like that's too good he's a motivational speaker for like still being in the game even if you're not winning like cuz you never know when everyone else might ████ up and you have no other choice but to choose you right he's like I was on a we were doing a relay race and everyone had heart attacks dude that's why heart health is really important that's kind of how I feel about veterans you know okay I'm scared a lot of uh the people in World War II a lot of them are kind of you know with age passing away and the ones that are
16:03 left you just got to find anyone and it's like you were in World War II and he goes yeah I delivered mail but you're were still ████ a soldier in World War II and it's like all right oh that's where going he's the last remaining guy he's he's alive let's so when you see those the grandpas and wheelchairs with the hats on you're kind of like yeah but he probably just delivered the mail and ████ yeah he probably sliced the roast beef he's probably the guy that ████ you know he went to the airplane and he kind of tighten the nuts and ████ and then he goes all right do other veterans make fun of those veterans Bart no oh okay really no they actually thank you for keeping our Airline safe oh yeah that's better this this go where am I again hey keep your hand down they talk we're in the car wash
16:55 yeah but they're super Savvy verbally what about you Bart or B I was thinking about it he hates Fame yeah my first one is I don't really like to be famous but then it just so happened we did we had a lot of fun and then people started watching it so it's became a side product so that's pretty cool and I do like when people like I meet people in public they like oh dude like you guys were positive influenc in my life and I'm like that's sick but now what would I like to be famous for now I think it' be I would love to be famous for being the whatever happened happened to that guy okay so if there's a point of my if it gets my point like like they're like you know how sometimes you go like that like you like go to the movie theater too early and like whatever happened to like when like before the trailers even start like the quizzes the
17:45 trivia like what what's that guy's name ████ like like whatever happened to John cusac you know like that what what happened what happened to Bart they' be like that like that's you want to be in a Jo blow video yeah that's joow video joow Jo Blow YouTube guy he he just did a video called what happened to John Q that's why you said that an investigative video journalist talking about blowj I think you definitely latently maybe saw that somewhere and like that's why you said that today no cuz I was actually thinking about the Charles in Charge guy but I forgot his name SC he does look kakan to be a child actor yes where they're like what happened to him I don't know move on Jonathan T reality oh yeah he just resurfaced and he looks ugly oh no who said that Steve said that I what about what about like 's dancing around it would you be down to be famous
18:36 for like a military Commendation like a achievement of some sort like the LI I'm not I'm not in the military anymore but like no but like the the the the packager or something it's just a dream Kennedy dude like what type of face oh yeah you like special ops and ████ in front like that though yeah those guys those guys are really tough I'm not well most gangster like sniper type ████ I'm not good that good at shooting dude those guys are crazy it's a ████ fantasy you wouldn't want to be famous for having like he didn't have a fantasy I want my business to be good go through Bart's last go through Bart's last ████ 10 Instagram stories and you know he doesn't try to show that he's really hard like ████ dancing by the pool and ████ he's not like out there with sniper rifles and like he's talking about like you know the Integrity of man is like all about
19:27 is all based on like how much work you and but that makes it even better that a guy like that I was trying to make that kind of content but it just didn't hit right what what did you would did you like it if you could retain your same personality of like funny happy like nice guy but then also on your record that's the BART that rescued his whole platoon dead you know what I mean like like you you better respect that man son you know like remember when when the dude in in uh what was it in the American Sniper goes to the auto shop and the guy's like well sir oh you saved my whole platoon like that you run into people that you helped that would be pretty cool be like no I didn't dude and then you can still act like that do ████ and every single one of these guys comes up like ta's there too and it's just like learning about your ████ heroism indirectly dude n how you put TA in there is different cuz you kind I think every guy wants their son to think their
20:17 dad's badass yeah there's going to be a moment when he thinks you're lame well I think it's right now so far I don't think it's like you think you're cool he calls him Bart all my friends are ████ stronger than me too so I'm like hey you know Dad could ████ squat like 500 lb and he's like well how about him I why you asking questions like that but Uncle NAD can do this much Uncle squad's ████ 600 are you happy godle Uncle doesn't have these two cool swords that's true that's true that's sick but he probably does look cooler holding him real M Like a Warrior yeah it looks like a more of a comfortable dual wield you just give up seems like because you've been in in the marines that like you know like every Marine has the capacity to like save their whole ████ platoon it's like a thing of like why not want that right yeah why not want the you
21:07 also in boot camp and in the military you learn about so many so you have like War history and knowledge that you have to learn yeah and everyone that saved their platoon died yeah usually jumped on a grenade oh you know so that's like you you listen to it enough you're like oh if I want to save my whole platoon I'm going to have to jump on the grenade or damn if I see the grenade fall you got to kick it what are some other ways it can get around I got two nine iron got two seconds to think about what I want to do pass night iron damn what were you going to say sir sir no I'm not going to say
21:57 no
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