0:00 [Music] welcome back to off the record and we've got don in the hot seat today [Applause] okay hottie is the uh we got the hottest seat in the world with even hotter questions where we literally just gonna bombard you with questions you just gotta answer them right just be as truthful as possible everybody can tell us who's a liar here but we're gonna start it off real cool and cold prepare to declassify every file in your brain declassify it and bart's gonna start it off real cool and look lukewarm and then we'll build up the heat all right all right let's do a lukewarm question dude if you had to pick one for the rest of your life one way if you had to pick one for the rest of your life would it be a pogo stick or skip it jesus dude you're saying oh pogo sticks like why i'll never skip it because it's you can travel further on the distance you can use it as a tool
0:53 if there was a unicycle in the form of a pogo stick would you write it legitimately can you explain that imagine a unicycle right and then you sit on the unicycle and it's a stick make sure you know which way the stick's pointing by the way and then you bounce you bounce all the flesh colored unicycle no [Laughter] currently in a relationship i am okay so i'm not gonna ask too many weird questions about relationships that was for me that was a censoring for me thing wow alliance how long have you been together uh about two years
1:44 is she subscribed all subscribed i hope so i i have a question okay so so a follow-up to that is so like you know um you do a lot of macho ████ right and this is what i noticed it's pretty funny right so like you come from a place where bullets are flying at you you're a soldier all this stuff did you have when you came back to the civilian world did you have a nervous feeling when you came up and talked to women 100 yeah right because i noticed that like they'll be like crazy fighters and like all these like dudes that are like doing macho ████ and then when it comes to like girls they're like ████ they're back in junior high mode and like i don't know what to do what am i gonna say because they only know how to flirt with dudes they know how to flirt with death is what i'm saying i'm talking about oh i like that joe wow that's correct but it's a different it's a different uh feeling right it's like a different world completely were you were you in a relationship while you were uh in
2:35 is that where afghanistan were what was your most recent deployment uh to the philippines to the philippines and you were in a relationship during then um this last one no i mean my most recent one though so 2017. and then in afghanistan you also were in a relationship i was in a relationship you were yeah how did you have sex did you write sex through papers like what was the horniest or most romantic thing you've done like have you just um on an envelope send it or you ever send her she has sent you panties send panties when you got some panties in the mail dude it's like what about in the letter did they write a sex story yeah the right set did you go yes and then put on her panties
3:26 or does your commanding officer like take it and like read it first and then like give it to you no they won't do that what does she say what like what are some of the things that you're like got you going good i can't wait to rip off or i can't wait for you to rip off these panties off of me oh that's pretty tight and she sent them to you he's quite the author she's quite the obvious you guys you guys do you guys over there like you know share things like that yeah we talk about we don't know i'm going to share like like oh man nick's mad lonely hey dude just sniff this panties my first appointment to iraq my uh cousins sent me a fleshlight that's a good gift though do you know what a dark knight is
4:16 did you pass it around your turd dude yeah for a fee you know what i mean for a few years you were a fleshlight there it was a fleshlight potter dog you wearing [Laughter] your flashlight was during a deployment yeah which interact or what was your go-to place to use the fleshlight oh yeah dude you don't have much options you know that bit big i was talking about like with 30 dudes sleeping in it and then you had uh like a wood shack a poor john that you took a ████ in so it's one of those damn so when you're jacking off with um you know like your platoon or or your squad right you got your unit there everyone's in but without the boys in the the bay with people yeah so when there's
5:07 people there right a part of me if i was there this is you know i'd i'd actually be self-conscious about man am i going to come too quick because i don't want my boys around you know i don't want the boy i don't want them to be like yo joe you come quick started he just came i think i would like act out a little bit are they gonna so then people be like damn joe jack's off a long time huh because i need to i don't know my pride would be hurt a little bit like do you have you considered that like you want people to go damn joe went at it all night long he's the marathon i guess you gotta look at the rest of platoon and if like six or seven people have like really as long as you outlast them yeah you're like in the clear because sometimes i do that when i'm like when i'm pissing right and i'm like oh this is one of those p's where i thought i had to pee but i don't gotta pee that much but the guy next to me is peeing for a long time now i don't
5:58 want to be a ████ two-second pee guy i'm gonna stand here like i'm still peeing i thought that was just me man thank you for sharing it bro so that's how i would feel if i'm be a man i'm not jacking off and i'm like yeah i want to finish right now but like damn it's only everybody's like 30 seconds and ████ they're timing me right now dude but i bet you're trying to rush though you're trying to get that ████ over with kind of yeah yeah you don't want to you want to be you don't want to miss the mission man you know what's the nastiest uh jackoff thing that you did over there that that only makes sense over there like you would never do here oh probably all of it but don't you need jacking off in a platoon of 30 people in one bed that's one of them yeah that's one of them okay so other than that did you like like ████ let's jump off together or like you know
6:50 i love dawn's face right now dude let's show her hands let's do hands so it feels like it's a different person you know i'm so used to myself i know this is just entertaining but i still feel comfortable double dutch rudder it's where you hold the guy's hand like what's the no it's like when i'm holding my dick you're holding your dick and i'm grabbing your biceps what's the nastiest thing that you've done i don't know it should probably probably share porn i don't know man it gets dude are you guys watching are you guys using imagination you guys use a spanking oh we have a um we had a hard drive and everybody was sharing it and we didn't have laptops over at the time so everybody was using an iv pod with a
7:42 screen oh ████ it's like one with a little circle thing on it what do you do you you what did you scroll up and down i was like hey i'm done pass it to the next guy so it's like passing around a playboy but on an ipod yeah he's pretty high tech yeah that's pretty tight though actually he put the headphones into headphones in and everything full blast so you said like you know um even before the military right like you always were able to perform under pressure right um and then you think after the military like having bullets fly around you you feel like you can perform even better now under pressure i would say depends what type of pressure because um people could feel social pressure people could feel fear people could feel sexual pressures so like an environment it depends on how you how you view it and how you kind of react to it so so okay so like let's say something that does give you pressure like i don't know like being in a business meeting or something that
8:33 you're not familiar with right um how do you deal with it when you feel that nervousness or like oh ████ my emotions are taken over and i can't think clear first i think it's like hey this is a first world problem i'm not getting shot at i'm not you know i'm not gonna about to die and then the next one is just just breathe you know i do a lot of breath work bring the exercise to kind of help you put you in the right mental state so i'm gonna get personal okay because this applies to me when you feel petty and you wanna ████ demolish the ████ of some somebody who maybe offended you right like crossed you maybe a middle age to an older white dude in a business meeting who you just want to destroy because of the way he spoke to you or a random asian kid at jj's hong kong cafe true shout out's not a random asian kid man
9:25 that's why undercuts are illegal okay for this young man yes but um but yeah like let's say it's like you're like you know that that pity moment takes over right and you're just like man i don't be petty right now and i want to talk some ████ but it's not professional um what do you do in that point like do you like how do you stay stoic without being like i'm just gonna ████ go for it well you gotta remember the reason why you're in that situation that's good advice yeah that's a really good advice yeah cause like hey are you there to make a business deal to not lose 20 grand a month yeah or are you there to ████ be petty and talk ████ to some white guy today's video is brought to you by audible you know these days i like to listen to um things to kind of help me improve because i feel like when we first started jk and barbell like i would study a bunch right and then you
10:15 use those tools and then you would implement it and then i feel like oh man i feel like i reached my plateau or my ceiling on the next know-how so i need to get more know-how in my brain and i love audible because i have a ton of audiobooks and my favorite part about that is especially when the author is the same person speaking oh that's not bad because you can hear the emotions yeah you could hear their like speech cadence and it feels like they're talking directly to you and especially like on these long drives i'm just driving i could either listen to booty shaking for four hours or i could actually learn and increase my brain powers i like booty shaking too it increases my penis powers yeah but learning sometimes is a lot better because you can grow from that even though the other way you can grow down there but then the point i'm trying to
11:05 make here is that audible is pretty awesome and they have podcasts they have stories they have all kinds of cool things so much content to check out and if you're a new member you get 30 days free which is amazing and i highly recommend you check it out because if you don't like it there's nothing that's going to cost you you know you just like i don't really like it does it for me and that's completely cool but if that interests you go check it out go to audible.com off the record or text off the record to 500 500 that's audible.com off the record or text off the record to 500 500. so so exactly compromise the objective i got what i wanted right so a mission accomplished every single point mission accomplished now the ptsd of it is i'm replaying my mind and going oh but i wish i did it this way do you ever go through that
11:55 so it's like mission accomplished everybody has regrets and like hey i could have done this better i couldn't then this better but you can't change anything in the past you got to take the experiences that you learned and like the lessons learned from that experience then apply it to the next one but you really can't that's so good i was hoping you would give me revenge techniques but god damn we got the 11 minute mark of the video this is where we like to turn up the heat a little bit so we're going to walk you through the water you ready for this i'm going to ask you i'm back i'm asking honest question i'm asking it's not true though honest question you don't have to answer them even though it's hot you ever kill anybody yes what was that like your first time i mean it depends on what kind of situation you're in right are you getting shot at are you just defending your friends are you i'm just i'm just asking you about your situation the first time yeah your first time
12:46 yeah it was uh i mean like most of the firefights over there are gunfights so that you're 100 to 300 meters away so if you get a gunfight you know all your homies are gonna be there to back you up and they're also gonna be in the gunfight that's what they live for so like when someone dies on the road on the corner of it like are you the guy that killed them maybe maybe not are you the guy that killed it so it's just chaotic and and it's far away you just don't know where if you actually got it confirmed or not i mean yeah exactly i wasn't a sniper so like they were going to tell me like hey you got that one shot one kill kind of situation for that you know i'm also like dropping bombs when you drop a bomb like you're killing whatever is in that area you know and sometimes we have the ability to go over there and and check if our effects were what we wanted to be sometimes we didn't i wouldn't yeah that's true because i
13:36 wasn't even considering the fact that like okay when i think of this i'm thinking of a very personal like you're breaking into like a compound right like a swat team and then you're coming in and you're eliminating someone that's like maybe 10 feet away but then your job was actually calling in a a drone or some kind of deployment was like we definitely kicked in doors were in the house you know and we were in that situation as well but um so that's why i'm saying it depends on what kind of situation how you feel about it the closer the closer you are of course like the more impacted you are by because you see it like firsthand so in that situation it's a little bit different which is the one that impacted you the most in either good or bad way i mean there's definitely situations i'm definitely not proud of of the things that have happened over there of course those are the ones that impacted me a lot heavier than i guess it's still
14:26 like haunted till this day yeah for sure is it um so i wasn't listening to a rogan was it that guy dakota i coded myers yeah um but there was one where it was like oh it wasn't marcus the truth i forgot but one of them was saying they were in a man-to-man situation both have no more rounds and it was literally i win or human so he had like a rock in his hand and just pounding the head right and it's like he says at that split moment when you're looking eye to eye that's really when you just see the humanity in people where both people just want to survive but they know only one person's making it out that's that's intense it's like that's holy ████ it it's got to be me you know and the other and you could see like that person and you know that in their eyes and it was just like um
15:18 like really really intense did you ever experience something like that uh thank god i've never been into a hand-to-hand combat situation i can only imagine what that would be like but that'd be crazy because that makes it so personal right with just blunt objects that's so primal versus like like let's say like uh if you're a guy just doing drone strikes it still affects them but then it's so it's a little bit removed a little bit it's not as real yeah like it is real but it's it's also very uh like you're looking at a computer screen you know yeah but i also like to caveat is that like the trauma that a person a drone pilot goes through or the per the trauma that maybe like marcus whoever dakota miser was could be the same exact level to them yeah yeah that's true you know so everyone's different so it's like hard to challenge like oh you haven't been through ████ and all that stuff people
16:09 like in the military and the veterans community is kind of like that which is s█████ but it shouldn't be like that you know i'd be like you went through your own ████ i went through my own ████ and yeah we're still what was the situation that was the craziest to you probably can't talk about that one yeah but um yeah was there was every moment when you were out there that you didn't believe in what you were doing but you still had to go forward with it i would say like when you're in that situation where you're on deployment you're so sucked into the situation that's going around you your environment is your world right because you don't have much communications back at home so like you're if you're getting shot at like that's your world like yeah i don't want to get shot at i want to go home to my family so i'm going to focus on not getting shot or killing the guys that are trying to shoot me or my friends and that becomes your world yeah so it's not
17:00 like uh i don't want to do this anymore it comes a little bit of survival a little bit of joy a little bit of excitement when you know you gotta do cool things so it's like a mixture of that kind of tunnel vision in a way it's 100 yeah no knowing all the stuff that you've been through if you have a kid and they go i want to be a raider like you pops would you say do it i would let him decide on whatever he wants to do in life for sure but i would give him the information that he needed to to understand um a little bit about what he's about to go through so that way he can prepare a little bit more so he can go into the situation not being blindsided by all that were you blindsided as a raider or did you know what you're going to get yourself into i think i was definitely blindsided in the right way where like it was like a rude awakening for me to stop stealing clothes or whatever i was doing at the time and getting into the military then i got a taste of the
17:50 adrenaline and that kind of lifestyle then i wanted more of it i wanted a more professional environment i wanted to do cooler things with the skills and i believe that i had the skills to do that so so like your first deployment um when you're just with your like regular unit were you infantry or whatever so like that kind of i guess work is different from special ops work right like it's like one is like super crazy dangerous job versus the other one is like more like me would not say it's any more dangerous depends on the area that you're at depends on the enemy that you're fighting at the time but the difference for me the huge difference was in a regular infantry unit you were very reactive to the things that you was happening around you so we got shot at we shoot back we get shot out we try to chase these guys down you know and in the special operations we were
18:42 hunting these guys we're actively collecting information to figure out where they live where they sleep where they eat and then we do our jobs in that manner so it's like ninja assassin unit versus like you know guards or something but like the assets that you have in a special operation scene you have a lot of intelligence at like assets in infantry like you have maybe a helicopter that flies by once every three days that could look at something for you did you feel safer in the normal infantry unit versus special ops no i felt a lot safer in a really bad area with special operations because of the resources yeah because like oh you're the first one to get if you call like what they call a tick so like troops in contact like you're getting air asset in afghanistan probably in like 10 minutes so if you could survive for 10 minutes you got bombs coming you got guns coming you got air ships coming to to come save your
19:33 ass have you ever i think we're gonna yeah have you ever been a situation where you're like oh ████ we're all gonna get wiped out like and then they come to rescue you and it's like a movie and you're like you can't but i personally have never been in that situation i've always been on the better side of the fight yeah um and i would like to say that it's because my team planned our missions well where we were so no black hawk down type of situation we definitely had a marine helicopter uh crashed right outside of our base and it took like a three-day fire fight to get that thing and the ordnance and then back in were you part of the firefight for three days yes it was holy ████ and then was how long was did you guys plan for the mission we didn't plan for it the helicopter was taken off from our camp after uh picking up some guys or whatever it is and on the way out it got shot and it crashed like 300 meters outside of our base and then are you guys close to supplies
20:24 and stuff we were just on our base on our base so he had to go and try to rescue like at three o'clock in the morning we went out picked up the pilots and everything like that but uh we started getting shot at so we had to leave all the hellfires or all the rockets the missiles inside the helicopter and then there's also crypto which is the um like the secret key to for communications on side that helicopter that the way we communicate so oh i thought you guys used bitcoin i was like god damn different they have i mean crypto in the helicopter yeah it's a crypto photography you know so but we have so we had to either destroy it which they didn't want they wanted us to retrieve all the missiles because they ████ ton of money so in order to get that helicopter and everything back in it was like a three-day gun fight to get back and they're just awake for three days no we rotated uh pushed out depending on where we were and then uh after the second day
21:15 we've been awake for two days we had another team that came out and helped us so you had to salvage it piece by piece back to the base we literally just hooked two big like uh military tow trucks on it dragged it as far as we can behind cover and then while under fire though holy ████ you have to put the hooks on while under fire yeah oh yeah on on a brighter note um what's the moment back to the ipod porn is what he's saying military career uh what's like the most gi joe ████ where you're like ████ yeah this is why i joined like was there like it could be in training it could be you know deployment but is there one where like either helicopter go run over the ocean and you have fins on like what was like that moment that you're like ████ yeah this is why i joined this ████ uh i mean
22:05 i think like on my second and last appointment we're in the philippines with um this navy um squadron with h hsc 85 is like the special operations of the navy for pilots but we flew around and we literally look we're like shooting sniper rifles in the philippines and we flew over manila coming back in and like just kind of that surreal and your feet's hanging out of the helicopter yeah you're like dude this is ████ i feel like bruce willis right ████ sick you know like that that i'm stillness to this day like and that was more that was straight like when you're shooting a helicopter was that training training we're just training yet sick hey thank you for sharing man thanks man thank you for your service man yeah thank you for your service yeah for real yeah that's crazy that's ████ so cool i can't believe we know a marine raider yeah at least you went
22:55 over to war versus you know just yes no i don't doubt it but you know this will wrote something on goddamn day i gotta get one in you know second place this guy right i gotta sweep the warehouse dude getting dirty in there [Music] you
// end of tape