0:00 [Music] anybody here enjoy pokemon yeah i used to love the pumpkin i enjoy a nice charizard myself did you guys did you guys all have pokemon cards my cousin still has a bunch still in like those little sleeves and stuff hoping they're going to be more valuable one day even though they're valuable now my hoarder mother has them somewhere but she doesn't know where i'm glad you ended with the hard er because once you started with ████ i was like my dude my horror mother is a ████ [Laughter] all right so there's a man out there who buys he buys this 13 000 pokemon card is it charizard it is a charizard but it gets lost in the mail no oh what
0:50 the ████ did they send it in a regular envelope it should be overnighted dude what the ████ in a charizard envelope a charizard inside rare pokemon verified in the mail yeah i didn't get lost so this man was left devastated after splashing out thirteen thousand dollars for this pokemon card for it to get lost in the post right collector paul gallagher from atlanta buys and sells pokemon cards and says he can usually earn ten thousand dollars or more a month and he bought this rare charizard card to sell on but after he posted it out to the buyer uh in december it got lost in the post which is crazy because remember the ████ uh the trains that got jacked in december yeah i also lost a bunch of random amazon packages and stuff like that oh ████ yeah nothing ever happened because you know
1:41 there's no yeah what can they do but dude you send a 13 000 package you get it insured every ████ time yeah right yeah that's true and then you don't send it regular parcel i mean you do it like overnight next day with a tracking and ████ you make sure that someone shows up and signs for it somebody was cheaping out man that's what happened yeah yeah this guy's 13 g's and he looks into making how he's like i don't know what his 180 insurance thing he's like it's a scam never get insurance yeah dude it's it's free money for them ████ them it's their little racket yeah they also rock it well dude i paid to fly out here and they're like do you want to protect your ████ and i'm like ████ no yeah that's different but if that ticket was thirteen thousand dollars i would say ████ yeah like yeah i'm already spending thirteen thousand
2:31 why not the 180. you know so you know something crazy is that reminds me of uh like i heard there was a scam when you get your green card that they intentionally like say it got lost in the mail the first time and then you have to pay to get it reissued because it happened to my girl when she when smack got her green card it just got lost in the mail and then the the uh office was like oh well for just a small fee we can get another one sent out and i hear they do it every time it's like a hundred something bucks oh they're nickel and diming yes dude so there's gotta be some kind of ████ where they're like they kind of know what the ████ in that envelope and they're like yeah yeah ████ pokemon nerds all work at the postal service well dude that's like when you know when playstation and xbox were first coming out all those packages kept getting ripped off and they're sorry lost in the mail yeah that's a good racket though
3:22 things happen sometimes when you mail things we got to stop having that person be the spokesman hi guys i'm here to announce more stuff went missing i think um mail tampering or stealing or like even ████ up those blue boxes i think it's like a federal offense it's like hard ████ core i'm dealing with something like that because i sent out a laptop and when i sent it out you buy insurance no so that was the thing and i never got offered to buy anything because the box was big so they came around the side to grab it and i already have like a a tag like packing slip on it and everything like that and they're like oh okay we'll take care of this for you i was like oh that's it like i don't have to like scan anything nope you're good i'll take care of it don't worry i was like are you sure she's like yeah yeah you're cool it's like all right and i left like three weeks passed the person never got it so i will back into the post office
4:13 like oh that's not our issue you can call the thing and then she tried to tell me oh you didn't do that here that you did it in san gabriel i'm like no that's my return address that's my home i didn't send it from here i came in and brought it to you no i don't believe i don't think you did i was like how are you gonna tell me i came here on my lunch break and sent this it's like all right you have to call the the the number so i call them and i try to file a claim and when i say that i was like i want to make sure like no one stole my you know package like it's an expensive laptop it's like a 1500 laptop he's like yeah um give me one minute i was like okay and then you just here maybe hung up on you yeah i did the us postal service usbs this was all this pack that is federally offensive yeah so i was talking to my friend he was like it's a federal crime if like they stole your if they find out that someone stole your
5:03 laptop it's a federal crime so i'm dealing with all that literally currently it's a federal crime but they're not to ████ get caught i know that's what sucks because we've heard that all our lives that like hey ████ with the meals of federal crime hey so is insider trading yeah but who gets in trouble right yeah give me a break i've never heard of anybody like what would you do what are you in for man he's i'm a male jockey i'm a porch pirate all those people that steal amazon package from the porch like the cops don't ████ chase them none of them yeah no ████ didn't even file a report have you guys been watching the glitter bomb guy he makes and then it's like stink bombs and ████ i love watching these ████ get covered in god damn it god there's so much glitter [Laughter] and then now it like sprays crazy
5:57 so he said that uh we're talking thousands of dollars that card we're talking about cost me 13 000 to buy it not only did i lose my initial investment but i lost the money that the customer spent they refunded him that money so last week the united states postal service got in touch to tell him that the card had disappeared they explained they didn't get back to me uh until march 25th and declared it was missing and here's 200 for your 13 000 card and good luck dude you know what hurts me the most is just imagining some lincoln heights crack head just busting open the envelope and going and they're just pokemon cards gone forever it's like dude that's just probably happening right now it's just like chilling somewhere they throw the card down and start eating the package
7:00 that whole train yard is where all the packages got destroyed and there was a bunch of packages that weren't even destroyed that were still there they're just open no not even open like some we're just still packages should we go down there and see what we can find i think it's too late now there's a bunch of guys eating charizard packaging that's actually by barbell yeah it's pretty close dude i remember when um you know we all had pokemon cards in school and ████ i think we all did in this room yeah for sure uh so so you know we have those binders and i'll never forget the day that i got out i got out of pokemon cards it was um i was there with my binder and i got this dude that i knew named anthony across from me and he's like oh steve let me check that out and there's this really like attractive chick across from us and she's like what what the hell are you guys doing and i'm like oh you know this is this thing called pokemon cards and she's like i know what that is she's like i didn't know you did that steve and i was like
7:50 i don't anymore you know knocked out of the head ████ this ████ i'm never doing this ████ again went home just handed to my brothers i'm like ████ this whole thing you severed your emotional attachment today i didn't know you did it steve was like my head like what happened to me how did i let myself get here so if you feel like you're a bit you're scarred for life from pokemon cards or no no well now it's you know it's fine because everyone talks about it nostalgically so you got over the trauma i got all the traffic that was anti-p████ behavior yeah exactly that was personal cockblock moves well that's when he was ████ himself i looked myself in the mirror and i was like oh my god i'm i'm the ████ right now i didn't know you did i didn't know it's funny because that's that used to happen to me with anime a lot where girls would go like oh that's funny this
8:40 one persian girl was like i didn't know you were into that stuff and i was like i think how do i ████ say something i said well yeah i mean it's just like an asian culture thing it's not like she goes oh i can see that and when you go to a room it's probably full of miyazaki ████ and then you're like oh wait you're trying to connect with me [Laughter] thank you asian culture oh you know it's just a part of the culture you know yeah and i know there's people who are like look man there's nothing more ████ made than letting a chick change you dude i'm like whatever dude when did you get laid last okay how old were you i was like 12 or something dude at that age anytime a chick says anything to you you're like what you get
9:30 you get your your feelings hurt over here oh dude it's amazing is this your hand sweating i just loved all those nerdy things like so i think so much more than like the possible sex that i would just double down like this one time i was on tour when i was like doing lmfao tour and then i have my laptop on the tour bus and then i brought a girl on with me and then she like opened my computer and i still had my sims like loaded up so i would play sims incessantly during tour so everybody be ████ making out and ████ and i'm just like i'm building a little home and she's like a little three-bedroom and she's like wait and then she saw i don't i think she was like german or she didn't really understand and i they don't build buildings there yeah i just i just closed it i was like yeah you know that's not for you
10:21 it's like you're hiding your porn yeah i love anytime this man starts telling a story about somebody else i'm like i hope they're gonna make it he's like i'm on the bus she comes up behind me and i'm like oh no she's gonna trip and fall she's gonna have a heart attack she's just gonna ████ be dying they're always gonna die something's gonna happen crap is gonna crash she makes it through this story and i never saw her again no sometimes they live sometimes they live i hope we make it i know we just become a part of ryan's stories one day on another talk show no dude when i'm like a grandpa i'm like i used to be on podcasters these guys they were great did they did they die too they sure did he's the luckiest survivor he's padlocked everyone around him
11:13 he's the guy who's like why me why did you pick me god i'm the guy at the end of saving private ryan they're just crying at the graves that's not funny that's sad my family all my this freaking family of 12 behind me just let him do it let him cry and you're the same age and you can't die and you're an immortal you're a vampire everyone you know it's just you and keanu reeves left that's it lives to tell the tale [Music] you
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