0:00 [Music] This will be a fun one because I don't think we've ever talked about this, but like when you were a teenager, did you ever play those like teen games at parties like spin the bottle? Oh man. 7 minutes in heaven. I remember that one. Never have I ever like stuff. And like when you did play these games in these groups, did it ever like escalate into something like crazy when you were a kid? I only saw that ████ in the movies, dude. That never happened to you. Me and Steve were in the same boat, dude. Yeah. I don't think I' Yeah. I don't think I've ever done like like not before college, dude. Then I heard about Then, you know, I'm like, you know, 2014, I'm hearing about rainbow parties. I'm like, I missed out. What's a rainbow party happened? I refuse to believe that was a real thing. Rainbow party is when um a bunch of girls wear a bunch of different
0:50 colorless lipsticks and they all take turns sucking your dick and seeing how they can shut the missing everything. That was a sensationalist thing that like parents got the you know it was like the eating tide pods thing really like the Christian coalition came out and they're like this is happening. I remember during that craze there was a thing about how like girls would wear different bracelets to signify like what base they've been on or what sexual acts they've been on. I remember that was like during uh there was all over the news and like these girls would have like blue bracelets and that means they've gave ████ or whatever and everybody was so mad. Everybody was so mad about it. I remember being in the rainbow party ████ It was the colored theme, but it's always the religious parents and those like religious religious coalitions and they come out and like did you know kids are all doing this now because one news one new this was like when I was a kid I remember but like one news story happens and they go
1:41 like this is what all these kids are doing out there, right? They just said like all the kids are doing and I was like nobody's a sexual craze. It could have been private. I remember doing seven minutes in heaven but only when we knew that these two people liked each other but then like they weren't ████ doing anything. So then you just at a party just throw them in there cuz it's funny and then they end up like getting together. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's cuz they probably did something. What? Holding hands and ████ Dude, you're so shy and going official. Like they'll probably I don't know if they kissed or whatever. Not you though. You probably Yeah, he probably ████ But I I I remember cuz I could I could do it within seven minutes for sure. Twice. Well, too long. But it got to that point because everyone's like, "Dude, why don't they ████ they like he just doesn't stop talking about her. He doesn't even ████ go up to her." And then you know that she also likes him back and she like you asked her or
2:32 whatever and then they're like, "All right, throw him in the ████ closet." That was playing matchmaker, dude. Lock him in there. That was what the rule was for 7 minutes and he maybe we made it up, but we're like it wasn't just random. It was like, "Yeah, they're annoying. They ████ like each other, but they're not doing anything, so just throw them in there already." Yeah. Good friends. Yeah, I remember in this is like senior year and our choir director would have like an end of year uh choir party with all the like cast at his house and he had it was in like Lever and he had a pool in the jacuzzi and at like later at the end of the party like a bunch of guys and girls were in the jacuzzi and we decided to like skinny dip with you know when the bubbles were up and everything you're a little more confident to do it so like everybody took their like their uh bathing suits off like the girls and the guys but we just it wasn't like like sexy at all because we all just started laughing at
3:22 how hairy everybody was. Oh, cuz it wasn't because you're just, you know, how old are you guys? This is 17. We're like I'm like 17. Your pubes look like that. Yeah. So, we're all just like It's not like you're like shaved at that age. You know what I mean? Like all we did was just crack up at like you could see the silhouette of like I feel like you had a lot of hair, man. Look at your face, bro. I'm just like jungle man. Yeah, it was I was probably the hairiest one. Yeah, it it wasn't like the thing that I expected. I'm like, "Oh, it's going to get so like naughty in here." Yeah. No, we were just We just couldn't a lot of the time. I remember like Well, in college, like when you do little games, like I was really good at playing like truth or dare and escalating at the right time. Oh, with your boys. Yeah. I think the intention is always to I think
4:13 the intention is to always escalate things like uh sexual things in nonsexual ways. Oh, like like what would you do? Like for example, we uh I dare you to feed me that chocolate strawberry right now. Um, it would be things like, uh, I remember we dared this one, uh, this one girl on our team to, uh, tape poker chips to her nipples, uh, and like play the rest of the game just like shirtless. What? So, literally for the rest of the game, she's she's topless, but she's got poker chips taped to her nipples. That's not Where are these parties? Yeah, bro. I never did any of that stuff. I mean, yeah, college was pretty crazy. Like there was another time where but then the thing is if you if you're the if you're the person daring people to do certain extremities then they're trying to get back at you. So you also you got to you know you got to also you know stand up for what what
5:04 you believe in. Uh I remember them making me one time they're like all right well you got to cartwheel down this hallway butt naked. What? So I was doing I was doing cart butt naked down a hallway one time. Did you have a bush? And then I had to I probably had a bush. Then I had to up the Annie. So, and and you know, it just gets it's just crazier cuz you're drunk. And I remember daring just one other girl to be like, "All right, well, you got to get naked. You got to go pee on that tree outside and all of us are by like the ████ sliding door like watching." So, nobody can like really see you, but it's just the idea someone's willing to do this ████ was hilar. We were just crack up over the dumbest thing, but nothing would ever like get sexual. You're just doing things like that and cracking up about That's what I felt like it was like you you were also too chicken to like you were still kind of respectful in a way. So like you would just flirt with the idea but it would never actually fruition you know into that at
5:56 least at the time. I remember my friend like in fourth fifth grade he hooked me up and he was like dude you should come sleep over at my house. I'm like why? And he's like if my neighbor thinks you're handsome she'll make out with you. And I'm like no way. I'm like okay. Yeah. So then like I ████ I'm the neighbor. I take up I take him up on the offer, right? No, she's she was ████ cute. She was like from Yemen. I don't even know what Yemen was at the time. From a war torn country. Yeah, she's like middle. Yeah. Yeah. At the time I thought she was Mexican, but I didn't know what Yemen was. You need citizenship, brother. She was hella pretty. And then like we're all just playing, right? And then and then she's like, "Hey, um you want to you want to make out with my friend?" And then she looks at me and she goes like, "Um, I'll give him a big kiss on the cheek, but
6:47 I'm saving making out for my boyfriend." And I was like, "Oh, what the f███?" And I was like super like, "No, I'm not ready for this s███." Right. And she comes up and she ████ kisses me on the cheek and holds me. I'm like, "Oh my god, this is what it feels like." I think that was like legit one of my first like experiences of like, "Oh, a hot older woman like wants to ████ kiss me." And then ever since then, Joe kept mentioning Yemen all the I was like, I want to go to Yemen. Yemen is ████ dope. Like, yeah, USA is cool, but Yemen's way chiller. Was she like 30 years old? No, she was like maybe sixth grade. Oh, sixth grade. So, she was older like Oh, ████ Sick. You know, like So, how old are you? Either you're like in elementary. We're like fourth or fifth grade. Yeah. Yeah. They pulling sixth grade now. Hey, but it was me, my best friend, his sister, it was her, her brother, and we were all, he lived in
7:37 this apartment where the middle was like a grass patch, and we were all just playing. And out of nowhere, he was like, "Yeah, look my friend up." Like, "You want to make out with my friend?" And then she's like, "I'll give him a big kiss on the cheek." And then she's like, "Yeah, he's cute." And then so every like after the Thank god she's in sixth grade, dude. She was like a 25year-old lady. I was like, "Who is she making out with little fourth graders?" with a Yemen woman. Didn't I show you in the laundry room? Why are you so nervous? Yeah. From the same chick the next day. Didn't you lose your virginity to a chick from Burma? What? Oh, she was Yugoslavia. Don't you have any conflict free hookups? They're all far hookups. Are these all blood diamond delays? You know, those don't count. Where is Yemen? That's the I don't even
8:27 remember her name. I just remember going like what you know I thought she was Mexican and she goes I'm from Yemen and I'm like Yemen what do you think she her family had claimed asylum like that? I don't know. To me she looked like a Mexican girl. Yeah. I couldn't tell the difference. Maybe that's it. That's all I knew. Maybe she's one of those people that likes to just say a different exotic thing because she doesn't want to be Mexican like everybody on the street. But who even knows what Yemen is at that age? No chance. Right. Yeah, I don't even know what the ████ Yemen is at all. It's Mexican, man. From Mexico. And being like, "That's crazy." You know, I was in fourth grade. She's like, "I'm from Morocco." I was like, "What the ████ is that?" I had no idea. Yemen is south is directly south of Saudi Arabia.
9:19 Where's that? Mexico. Hey, dude. We went to public school, brother. We ain't doing all that. We didn't study that side. She's Middle Eastern. Yeah. Yeah. No, she was super like pretty. I was like, "Wow, I just I just got like kissed. That's so cool." And then the next day I was like, "I want it again." So, did you go find her? Yeah, that's why I got I got kissed in the laundry room. Oh, she How did you So, how did you get kissed in the laundry room? What? What happened there? Can I have another kiss? And then she goes, "Yeah, sure." And then she kissed me on my cheek. Yeah. Get in the laundry room. This 30-year-old Yemen woman. You can't tell your parents. It was too Tell your ████ parents. I had two simple experiences. I'm actually Spanish. Shut the ████ up. I can make a
10:11 knife out of anything. I had two like hardcore experiences. Hardcore experiences. Yeah. That morning, my friend's mom made bacon for us. And you know how ████ forbidden that ████ is the way we grew up. That's bad. Yeah. So I had ████ non halal both ways, dude. You know what's funny? That's 10 million times. Been getting a kiss. Getting a kiss. We should get halal guys today. Yeah, mom. That's bad. No, dude. Cuz she made bacon and eggs and I was like, "This is forbidden." But my mom's not here, ████ And I'm getting kisses. So would that have been the first time you tasted bacon? Wait, why can't you have bacon? Seven Day Adventist religion. We're not supposed to eat pork and like squid and all these other things. And I was in heaven, dude. And I was like, dude, I'm ████ living
11:01 in Did you feel guilty at all? No. I was like, I don't know. This is a sin. Everything that was told that was a sin, it felt so good. I'm like, it can't be wrong. Yeah. There you go. Sex before marriage can't be wrong. It's so good. Bacon. Oh, man. And God made it in the first place. Yeah. You can't eat lobster, bacon, shrimp, uh clams, oysters. I didn't have shellfish until I was catfish. You can't have catfish. Do you eat lobster now? No. Seafood? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. What's the rale for not eating? Wait. Were you seventh day, too? I'm clear. ████ Oh, I see. Bottom feeders. What's the rale for what? For not eating those things. Anything. Anything that eats ████ you can't eat it. Like, you can't have it. And now you should eat ████ for a living. Now you cut out the milk, man. [Laughter] Hey, don't keep my passion away from me,
11:51 dude. Yeah, that's why you can't That's why we can't have pig products because it's like wall swallow in their filth or whatever. So, you just can't have it. Yeah, it was it was a robbery. Like whole whole menus just gone. No carnitas, brother. No carnas. I still don't know what carnitas taste like. I really I just never I do remember. No, I I do, but like because I didn't have it growing up, it just misses my radar. Like if I see a menu and there's like chorizo or carne whatever I just don't know what it is so I'm not familiar so I just don't Aside from bacon though a lot of pork products tasted crazy to me though cuz everything was really strong and like what the ████ is this pork smell eating a lot of things for the first time in your 20s is like I just don't like it cuz I don't I don't have the taste I got pork belly at Korean barbecue. I like it now. I don't really like it. What about chicharon? Yeah,
12:41 it's controversial. N Well, we have our own version of it for Filipino stuff, but it's lechon. Lechon is bomb, dude. What about crispy? But I didn't think that. What's lean? Pork. It's pork belly with the crispy skin. Oh, I've had that. I'm sure it's like it looks good. It seems good. But then the thing is if there's an alternative like if if there's like crispy duck or whatever, then I would just get that if I wanted that like texture. I never had chicken katsu till here. Yeah. I guess you know what's funny is that like with with our household we had to buy Hebrew national because it was the only one that was like confirmed to be all beef and then later on they found out they had pork. Really? Always, dude. Yeah. They got exposed for like having other cuz it we got Farmer John's all beef. Oh, really? Yeah. Because I guess like saying something is all beef, at least back then, didn't actually mean it had to be all beef. What? It just meant that your intention was that you were striving for
13:32 all beef. Well, we ████ ate pork then, dude. Cuz they always they there's like an allowance. There's like a wiggle room for like Oh, like Fig Newton. Like there's a chance you'll be eating bugs. Oh, true. So, vegans don't eat fig newtons. So, you've never had a pulled pork sandwich? Pulled pork is Yeah, that sounds bouncy. Are we hungry? Bro, we should get pulled pork sandwich. I've also never had a p a pulled pork sandwich. Pulled pork sandwich is probably the one of the better. That's up there, bro. If I were to intro someone to pork, I would say pulled pork. I'm such a beef lover that I I just don't get pork. That's a JK adventure right there. taking this guy and just smothering him in pork everything. But it wasn't until my 30s that I started craving pork. You started craving it. Oh wow. Like the way if you grew up with pork products, I think people sometimes crave different pork items. For me, I didn't care for it until my 30s where I'm like, I want lechon. I want Well, Lechon was like 2
14:22 years ago where I'm like, I want lechon every day. Wow. Yeah. I'll just get arscaldo. The beef. The beef. Yeah. Poor Chichon is turtles, dude. Legit Chichona is magical. Yeah, legit. I think it'll change your life, dude. Did you you never play truth or dare? I feel like you would have been hilarious as a truth or dare kid. I wasn't. I feel like they would have kicked him out before they started playing it. This guy s Get out of here. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, "Okay, done. Cool." You were never in these situations that we're like thinking of, huh? You never had these like like school friend like parties where you you never were at parties? I never went to one of those school parties. Not one. I I would go to these parties, but I was always kind of like on the outside. I wasn't like like if the kids were playing that ████ I'd be
15:12 like, I'm good. And I would just I don't know why. I just like if it was a diddy party, you're in the front like with like the the beverages and ████ Yeah. Yeah. I'm just chilling by the punch bowl like Ooh, they have salsa. Ch. You never even played like Never Have I Ever? Not once. No, not like where you put your fingers up. Play here today. Did I never play that? I played it at Oh, that's pretty good. I played it at um improv houses eventually, but never that came later in life. I didn't do that when I was younger. Little ████ When did it come out? For sure. Cuz I would say played until like college. Yeah. I thought that game came later. Like I don't remember. Got released in the 2000s. Yeah. like high school and younger. I don't I don't remember playing that game. It wasn't training that much with as a kids cuz obviously people have never done anything by then. Yeah, I heard it was some Yemen woman that I got a new game. We're all going
16:05 to play it in the laundry room. Get in there, Joseph. I would imagine if I played Never Have I Ever, I'd be really bad at that, too. I just never I feel like your your fingers would start tingling from standing up the whole time. My god, I'm so tired, dude. I haven't done that. All right, we may have to play it. But the goal is to win this game, you know. Never have I ever kissed my PE teacher. I've never wa Wait, what the ████ He kissed your mother. That one. Fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade. No kidding. No, I never kiss. You kissed all of Okay, Nick was kind of cool. My bad. That was a joke. Did you kiss any teachers? No, I wasn't on the radar. Uh, when I was in high school from freshman to senior, I looked probably like I was 13 most of those years. Yeah. Isn't that I wasn't one of the I wasn't one of the
16:55 Sometimes Sometimes I feel like they weren't they were looking for like the the older looking kids and kids that look like that's what teachers want. Every time you see the Every time you see the news, it's always these hot ladies with these young. Speaking of the women, I'm talking about like male teachers are probably glad you look 13. Yeah. I just think they uh barking up this alley. I think they just weren't. They're like, "This kid is too weird." I don't know. I don't know. You never played Seven Minutes in Heaven with your PE teachers? No. I thought that was normal. No, no, no. My uh none of my coaches. I'm so cool. One of my we used to make fun of one of our friends who would uh he he was on the cross country team and the cross country coach would always just give him massages outside of the outside of like u like they called the A building and we'd always be like, "Dude, why does Coach blank always give you massages like that?" And he'd just be he'd put his arms on the on the
17:46 ████ like the railing and he'd just be like, "Yeah, you just got to make sure you're tight." He was like a star guy. He was like, "You should make sure you got to loosen up." And we'd always make fun of him about that. And I was like, "I don't do that with my coach. My coach is never giving me any back massages." He's doing that to guys, though. Yeah. He's doing mostly guys. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know. I heard there was some funny business when I left. I don't know. We had a coach uh at SGA. Really? that that got let go because he was he had a sexual thing with a a pastor's daughter that was going to school. Wow. But he didn't he just got rotated to another school. Damn, dude. Two teachers in my drama class got caught ████ in the in the office. Oh, that's not that bad. Two teachers. Two teachers. Two teachers, but they were both cheating on their spouses. Oofy doofy. Doofy. That's a good TV show. I watch that. We definitely had a guy older dude uh dating one of the high school students and then he got let go. We had all our
18:37 baseball coaches would get in trouble for stuff. So they were like hanging out with baseball coaches. Yeah. They were hanging out with underage ladies. What the heck, man? And the volleyball coach was hanging out with underage ladies. I wonder if that if that type of thing happens more in like Christian schools or public schools. Christian schools are horny. I think it's a roll the ████ dice, bro. I think it's 50/50 across. You think about most of the It blows my mind though when I'm like, "Wait, some of my teachers were like 22 and I was like, you're still a ████ kid, too." Yeah, that's true. You're a kid teaching kids. Yeah, you don't know ████ at 22. Fully developed, brother. I remember that. That right now. They're prime. Yeah, Mr. Thompson was. You wear those khakis, Mr. Thompson. Uh-huh.
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