0:05 You know what's something kind of interesting um is uh So like on on my wedding day, one of the things we're going to do in the um reception to kick things off is I'm going to uh do like a wine toast and then that is going to be like my first alcoholic drink like ever in my life, right? >> Woah. So like that's something really special to me because the at the time that I lost my virginity, I was bummed out because I meant to keep that for marriage like our religion taught us. >> Yeah. And uh because I didn't have that, I'm like I got to keep something for marriage. So I decided to keep alcohol consumption as my thing for marriage. So the the interesting part about that is that like growing up, my parents both never believed that I wasn't drinking or doing drugs. >> [laughter] >> I know you're not doing drugs. Yeah,
0:55 they were just both convinced that I was smoking, drinking, and doing drugs which I like never did. And uh And I think like that's an interesting thing to me because I wonder are there other things with your lives that your parents believe is true about you, but it's not? Because to this day my my dad just like he's like, "Yeah, right." You know what I mean? If I'm like, "No, I really never have." He's like, "Yeah, right." >> [snorts] >> Damn, I feel like my mom is like nothing surprises me anymore. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, after she saw how badly you graffitied the garage. >> [laughter] >> She caught you with a pillow one time, too, right? She caught me ████ the ████ out of a pillow, dude. And after that, she called it my girlfriend the whole time. >> [laughter] >> She'd just be like, "Hey, we're just friends, Mom."
1:46 Yeah, is there anything that like, you know, like uh kind of like how your mom thinks that uh that that you still like certain ████ that you don't? You know what I mean? Where where like um or she thinks that you want to be treated a certain way that you don't. Like stuff that even if it's just completely not true, they still believe it. Well, I think when it comes to like crazy stuff, I think it's the opposite. Where in her mind she thinks I'm a 5-year-old boy. So, if I tell her stuff like, "Oh, yeah, there's like like street fights or whatever." She's like, "Oh my god." And I was like, "You knew the name of the gang I was in." "I know, but that's like like I don't know like she doesn't put things together. She doesn't want to believe it. >> Yeah, cuz like when when when I was doing that kind of stuff like she understood because those that gang has roots in Asia. So, she was like, "What? You're doing that kind of stuff?" You
2:37 know, and I'm like She's like, "Oh, you didn't know with them? Oh my god." And then so she knows it and then she was there to like pick me up from school when I got expelled like ████ five times or whatever. But in her mind she always like brainwashed it back to um I'm like this 5-year-old innocent boy even though she's lived that entire life. And so when she like It's to preserve the image she has of you. >> Yeah, so when we talk about things of what happened like in her mind it still blows her blows her It's like her hearing it for the first time. >> tell her the same news and she'll just be blown away. >> Yeah. Same way. Yeah. >> Oh, I remember one. So, um I was hooking up with girls in high school and like you know, or like I had a girlfriend at the time and they would be staying over or whatever. And my mom sat me down and then she was like
3:27 she was like, "You know, you should really be careful about like bringing hookers over here." I got so mad. Cuz I was like first of all, do you think I have zero game? I was like, "You literally think I have such bad game. You think my game is so bad that I can't like get laid and I had to buy hookers all day?" And I'm all like that's such a funny I'm a teenager too. Like I'm like I'm like in my mind I'm like, dude like you know, 30-year-olds just get hookers, not ████ 17-year-olds. You know, 17-year-olds were young and we can like get laid. So like it wasn't a translation error? No, she's like don't pay women and this and that. And I'm all like I was like, are you ████ kidding me? >> [laughter] >> And she cuz she's like, how else are you
4:18 getting it? Damn, she said that? Cuz I think So she never dated like in that her idea of dating is different. Like like but we're already hooking up in high school. Like it's it's a more it's like more normal here, right? So I think in her mind she's like this is it's so uncommon for girls to just like hook up. >> Give it up like that? >> Yeah. So she's like, it must be that these girls are like getting paid to do it. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. And then she was she was convinced that I kept ████ bringing hookers. They're just my classmates and ████ that we we started liking each other. So you weren't able to convince her of the opposite? She just believes >> day she thinks you were bringing hookers? I got pissed and I was like, I'm not ████ doing that ████ And
5:08 then I think later on it it turned into like be careful, don't buy hookers cuz they got STDs. And then I was like, you can't you still ████ believe it. But I'm like >> these are like 15-year-old hookers? >> Yeah. What the ████ But then later later like I found out like there are teenage girls in Japan that'll Oh yeah, the ones in that street, that alley that they're like sell ████ for a ████ Louis Vuitton bag or yeah. So I think >> That's real? That's an actual thing? So I think that's why she probably thought like that was common for girls to like do that in Japan. Okay, so she thought you had the SGV version of that. That's probably what she thought. Damn. But I just I was like I didn't want to even ████ hear it and have the conversation cuz I was like, "What the ████ Like, you don't think your son could like you don't think I got game?
5:59 Like, what the f███?" [laughter] Like, >> It's impossible. Yeah, it's not you? No way. That's such a hooker, man. No way. Oh, you know what I know what ████ is uh that's super I guess off, right? Like what my parents think of me. >> Uh-huh. So, anytime anything plays out that's not on what my mom's fortune teller ████ board says. >> Yeah. So, anything that like uh doesn't play out that way, she's like, "Huh?" And you know, she'll be like like, how did that happen? >> Scratch her head, huh? Yeah. >> She tries to find a way to like make it make sense. >> Yeah, so one of them was like >> She's like, "It's defying science." One of them was supposed to be when I'm like 30, I was supposed to get divorced or some ████ And then and then another one was like uh from my 30s to 40s, it was supposed to be like the most bankrupt I've ever been.
6:49 And then uh another one she told me she texted me the other day uh she was like, "Oh, like don't worry. Like Tyga could not take his seizure medicine anymore. He's like he's cured." And I was like >> Oh my god, that's not the way >> Cuz he just had a seizure in October." She was like, "Oh." >> [laughter] >> And I'm like, "What the f███?" >> Dude, that's tough. I'm like, "This ████ still be asking for fortunes behind my back." I keep telling her, "Stop asking for ████ fortunes. Just let me live my ████ life." >> I dude. It's like an addiction, huh? >> It's for real an addiction, man. Yeah. I'm like, "Dude, that's that's crazy." But like yeah, just all the ████ random things >> Yeah. that she thinks is supposed to go according to this plan. >> Right. Just anything that's outside of that. >> anything after that after she's wrong? She doesn't provide any type of like uh
7:41 oh, well, yeah, I guess it's not all cracked up to be or something. Doesn't say anything. >> Do that. No. Oh my god. What does she think it What do you think she thinks in her head why it didn't the prophecy didn't come true? >> I don't even know if she's like like doing a debrief. I think she just has so much anxiety. She wants to know where the road is going. So, if the if we don't end on that stop, she just focus on the next stop and then the next stop and then the next stop. >> That's probably what gets them coming back is that like the fortune teller's like if this doesn't work out this way, come see me again immediately. Yeah. So, I can [clears throat] tell you why. Like [laughter] she has three fortune tellers that have already told her like, "Hey, you did such a good job, I guess like preparing your parents to go to heaven. 30 in heaven, right?" And then she'll still see them, but what levels cuz in Buddhism there's like levels of heaven. What levels of heaven are they? Oh. And I'm like, "Mom, you're supposed to like
8:31 You said you did your goal." I'm trying to entertain her thoughts. You're done. But she still goes back like, "Oh, yeah, but because over here and oh, I got a dream from from grandpa. He told me something." I'm like, "Who gives a ████ That fool's in heaven." >> the can can you be demoted to the lesser levels of heaven? No, once you get there, it's supposedly you're like you're perfect. >> tier system. Yeah. Damn. You're in the ████ American Express lounge or whatever. Yeah. The Capital One Cafe. >> [laughter] >> You you don't get kicked out. It's lifetime membership. Damn. Yeah, it's funny like like when you're when you're young, your word kind of doesn't have value to convince your parents otherwise of yourself. Like if they decide you are this thing, you can't What are you going to say? Cuz you don't have a stack of evidence. >> Yeah, and it was rough too because I I always had so much pride that I I wasn't smoking cuz everybody ████ smoking.
9:22 And then like you know those those ████ typical 90s TV plot point where like you you take cigarettes from your friend cuz you don't want him to smoke. So, you get it you put in your pocket and then you get caught with it. That ████ happened to me cuz I took it from my homeboy who was smoking. I was I didn't want him to smoke. So, I took it and I put it in my pocket, but uh you know, I'm at the age where my mom does my laundry. I took it out, but I forgot to clean the pocket out from the tobacco that You know when you put a pack of cigarettes, you always get the little uh tobacco things. Yeah. So, she did my laundry and found that and was like, "I can't believe you're smoking." And I just did I was like, "F███, I can't What am I going to say that I It's like the TV show? Like it's it's I'm holding it for a friend." And I tried and then that was evidence number one is why they believe I was smoking cuz of that, but I really wasn't. And then
10:13 drinking and drugs just felt like I had to be cuz every you know >> Everyone else was >> Everyone that Yeah, you just like it happens. Yeah, but you know, hopefully my dad will play along with it at my wedding. >> ████ >> [laughter] >> He's lying. He's lying. That's It's nothing special. >> [laughter]
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