0:00 [Music] so um anybody been to a funeral lately i don't want to that's so sad catholic uh funeral that was all like a year and a half and ago yeah was it was it was it open casket yeah it was what happened so imagine the situation right you're i don't know it's your mom right oh come on don't bring her into this i'm pathetic your mom passed away like that dude thanks bart yeah continue continue with this great scenario i said hypothetically right so you go to your your mom's open casket funeral okay and you go over to the casket titties out no no oh my mom got nice titties yeah dude have you seen them let me tell you because you were going [Laughter]
0:51 was it ready for titties out no i just this is fakies it works lying down yes point is i thought that's what you're saying my bad you go to your mom's funeral you look in the casket and it's not your mom it's a random person wearing all your mom's clothes what everything little stand-in that what that's a horror movie then do you have a hope that your mom is still alive i would did they swap the person at the morgue they accidentally put the wrong body in the castle damn i thought this was gonna be a kid's movie for a second like bar thought my mom's alive can you imagine the movie starts at a funeral well then whose mom's sister is my mom what the ████ about the other dead nobody's listening yeah whatever it's your mom kid and then you're like your best friend or your dog will help you on the mission because they're the only one that believes you and your your dog smells the the the
1:42 fake mom he's like dude this is a great movie we should look at this right now bart came up with the ████ kids movie i just i just keep going yeah yeah well then they go on it they gotta get a flashlight go to the graveyard in the middle of the night and they're using the dog to smell to find it becomes a reverse scavenger hut to see where the bomb really like rescue mom and there's a bunch of clues everywhere and then they find out that mom was actually a spy so she had to fake her death to save her kids and surfer bad guys were like what dude we got to get these kids on the kids trail ████ three ninjas dude oh where'd these kids come from man they got high training huh dude what why did why was it surf or bad guys i don't know it's always surfer that's that's who were the real bad guys back there in real life you know why because
2:33 they're the only bad guys i can get beat up by three kids yeah they gotta be bumbling idiots genuinely why was there always like a duel like two stupid asses every every even like in home alone it was two dumbasses yeah well yeah harry wasn't that dumb that's true yeah well the the wet bandits that's what marv martin was a dumb ████ that screwed everything up terry had a plan dude it was like pinky in the brain [Laughter] uh horace and jasper from 101 dalmatians that was the other two idiot you remember the name wow that's a deep cut you're an imdb you don't even have kids and you remember that ████ dumb and dumber you're an imdb kind of guy huh any goofs in that movie or where'd you get that hat were you wearing it the whole time yeah
3:24 thanks anthony he doesn't pay attention to me this guy i walked in with his ████ eye i said how do you win this hat no i'll kiss you on the mouth with this hat i hit you with the bill of the house through my mouth yeah you ████ jesus back to the non-hypothetical two sisters from north carolina said that they made a starting startling discovery when they found a stranger's body inside the casket that was supposed to contain their mother was it a guy that would have been well they did say there's no similarity in the person one of the sisters says in an interview the size was way off uh when the first person those were all tight on her she was swimming in the clothes because she was so small compared to my mother pretty their mom's a fat asian lady and then it was like some white grandma she was in like a kimono or something yeah there's also an ethnic problem with it as well yeah there could be ████ a rice paddy hat on and they were
4:14 like yo this is ████ cultural appropriation like molina fans another white another white person taking an asian role colonel striker like reversed last samurai there are two separate s█████ jokes going on at the same time it's just funny to think she has martial arts weaponry in the casket that's what that was our scenario there's no way she mastered the tonfas that's how they figured it out he fans and ████ because that's part of our culture okay jesus oh my god that's how far it had to go for them to know hold on everything else checks out this is north carolina why is that white lady in there cynthia rothrock the scissors claim that uh that hundreds funeral home in a a husky which is about
5:06 120 miles northeast of raleigh uh failed to acknowledge the issue and even deny that the person that's a bad debate double down dude that's your mother it's your mommy dumb ████ that's not my mom that's your mom i'm dead bro stupid she looks different when there's dead oh no the dead version it's called rigo mortis they look different dude rigo they got your mom on rico mortis dude rico look it's common okay asians turn into white grandmas when they die it just happens everyone knows it this is just a part of metamorphosis the pruning of a dead person go check the inside of the great wall of china it's a bunch of buried white people so stupid
5:58 it actually goes in checks it'd be way funnier if it was a black family and then there was a white light in the castle that would be ultimate like that's a swisher i think it's only funny right now because we're talking about asians saying it's like black but it's funny to hear like careful boys the people that that work at this mortuary they're like no no that's her dude trying to check come on look at the clothes look at the clothes it's your casket it's your clothes two out of three things are correct yeah come on dude that's your mom oh you gotta sell it you gotta is this the casket that you bought yes are those your mother's pearls yes and her outfit she loved that one then it's three out of three there you go must be your mother girl is that her eskrama that are you buried with all these ████ martial arts
6:49 is that her trisectional staff what's her cali stick is that her bow tri-sectional that's her monk spade is that her ████ thomas the one that says cutlery yeah and there's ████ there's 20 klingon how do those stores stay open yo i don't know but as a kid i always walked in to look at them you know what they make their money off of i think they're sharpening knives you know i think that's where they make their money off no is that your tanto they don't make it that's a front guys like me i've never seen him keeping them or like the patio worlds over there like really i'm the one that's buying all that ████ i'm the one keeping them in business bro these weapons are seven years old though
7:39 where's the new purchases you want to be buried with all these how did you support them during covet i just kept buying it you kept buying old ones i guess holy ████ some other guy like me ████ bought him that's what happened i ████ loved walking in the cutlery stores like that nobody would ever buy anything in there they would just look around like i remember all the movie replica swords and just nerding out on stupid blade swords i was like yeah oh you guys you guys used to go to the uh mexican swami ones right that they would sell hella illegal knives like brass knuckles and switch plates college you want to talk about the parking lot there was a cypress college parking lot one yeah the swami i didn't know everything across from cypress high school and they sold like weapons there yeah there was like two booster balls that always had like ████ like the new swords from the hobbit and ████ like
8:29 that dude aloha stadium in hawaii they have a cool swap meet and they always have the coolest ████ knives over there dude they have brass knuckles with blades on them and ████ they have a wolverine claw and they're like yeah you put in your chat songs you're like you put in your ████ uh your your check bag you can take it that's true i brought brad's knuckles from thailand that way you got it through the airport yeah and i was only 14. check the luggage dude i got cloud sword from final fantasy vii through is no problem wait how big was this but brass knuckles are you talking about i got the og-1 from the cutlery store you for real have clouds sword yeah you still have it yeah is that displayed somewhere yeah i got over my ████ bed you ████ weirdos i'm talking about sneaking that thing through customs it'd be absurd [Laughter] over his head
9:20 that thing's massive it's crazy that's old point is that their wedding do they head out in front of their way i wouldn't be surprised i mean like you could you could bring what cellos and ████ snowboards and whole mountain bikes yeah so can't bring ████ clouds it's rare that people are trying to kill somebody with a cello though i think you shouldn't be able to bring cloud sword through personally ████ display of things you can't break specifically i think a cello makes more sense you're comparing a cello [Laughter] you can you can check in guns yeah you can [Music]
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