0:05 Welcome to a somewhat off-putting episode of Careful Boys where I'm on the wrong side of the room. Today we're going to talk about What uh what's a movie that the idea and the concept behind it is genius, but it still sucked. Probably The Thining. Who was responsible for it sucking? Next question. You guys remember that movie that Justin Timberlake was in and it was called Justin Time? the time one. Clockstoppers? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's true. You pay with money you pay with time, right? That's what it was. The concept, dude, that ████ could have been like Matrix. When you watch clips of that, it's always good. Yeah. But then when you watch the movie, you're like That's what the ████ You could have It's It's almost like edging.
0:56 Why do you feel like it didn't like execute? Cuz cuz I can't relate to it. Like Like he he'll be sitting in a restaurant and he he's like They're like, "Oh, what's how much for the steak?" And they're like, "Three weeks." He's like, "Put it on my tab." And I'm like, "Three weeks of your life for a steak right now, brother?" They keep They keep you doing the same uh gimmick of like, "Oh, it almost hit zero." Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's the whole movie. No. Yeah, but if there was more like a complex backstory, like Matrix and then I don't know, more similarities to our parallels, like yeah, it would be I don't know. It's just stupid. I thought Crank was kind of a I thought Crank was going to be way sicker than it was. Yeah. Yeah. But I I still like it, but I I thought it was going to be like a little sicker. I like the part where he has to have sex in order to keep his heart rate up. The best. Dude, the best. I have to I have to I got to do it. That part is pretty sick. You Oh, dude, when I saw The Social Network, I was a little bit bummed.
1:47 Really? I thought it was a good movie. Well, it was, but but when I saw the trailer with that the Creep song, I thought it was going to be like a freaking magnum opus or It's still a movie, but I just had my expectations were way too high. Did you like Jobs? I didn't. Steve Jobs, um Oh, one of them was good. Which one was it? Was it the Ashton Kutcher one that was better than the Michael Fassbender one? Michael Fassbender's better. Fassbender's definitely better. Is that the one? Yep. Yes, the Jobs one was absolutely wack. Yeah, maybe I watched the wrong one. The one I watched recently that I was like, "Oh, man." is uh Gladiator 2. You didn't like it? There's a two? Yeah. Oh my god, are you alive? Yeah, where are you? I guess they don't want to put a billboard in the bathroom of a gym, do they? I just watched the Joker, okay? Like the first one? Joker 2? But when you're on the plane, don't you see the menu for movies?
2:37 Yeah, but then Gladiator 2 That's on like every flight. I didn't know it was out. Not on my flight. There was a picture of Denzel Washington going around everywhere when when it was It's black? He's black? Yes. He's black. Denzel's black in that movie again. Yeah, HE'S DOING BLACKFACE. RUSSELL CROWE'S GLADIATOR. He died in the first one. you didn't watch the first one? I know, but then like that's why I was like, "How can they have a two?" It's about Lucius, his son, right? Lucius, Lucius. Remember Lucius? Oh, was that the reveal? Yeah. But I thought they did too much and they didn't have to do all that. And um they're just trying to like I think they're trying to do the whole like smart thing where they like, "Oh, if I tie this with this, they're going to remember this and this." And too many Easter egg things where kind of like you make you made the story too like
3:27 convoluted, but then also predictable at the same time. But I don't think they realized what made Gladiator 1 so sick and all they had to do was just repeat that. So I think they overdid it. That's my my thing on it. The I didn't like the Chalamet's um Willy Wonka. Which one? Chalamet uh Timothy Chalamet's Willy Wonka. I thought you said Charlemagne the god. Yeah. I enjoyed it. Something about it just felt like you're not really Wonka. I don't think I ever need to watch another Willy Wonka movie ever again. Yeah, I'm good. The Johnny Depp one was so bad. Fire, dude. No, even the OG one. The OG one's really good. The Johnny Depp one was so bad. You already have a perfect Willy Wonka movie. Why do you have But if like it's a new gen and they haven't seen any of them, do you think they would like the Chalamet one? I think people enjoyed it. You know what's ████ tight that I'm
4:17 looking forward for? What? A24 is going to revive Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. I really, yeah. But but you got to get your expectations back down here. But if it's not grand, it don't feel right. keep your ex- it's one of your favorites. A24. Yeah, but it's They don't ████ around. No, they Civil War was okay. They ████ around. They do? Yeah, they ████ around. What what the Civil War was was bad. No, I heard it was like uh I just hope A24 makes it campy. That's all I want. They just need to hire me and I'll be I'll be a creative consultant. Not really? Let me be a creative consultant on the movie. But wouldn't it be cool for them to make like a I don't want to say like a more realistic gritty version of it? No, you'll lose you'll lose it. You'll lose You don't think it's realistic? I would want it to be like Scott Pilgrim. You need it to have the same soundtrack.
5:09 lead for this? Yeah, who would they use? Oh, ████ That's a tough one. Hey, Mr. Consultant. Hey, we just paid you A24. Oh, why are you saying oh No, no, no, no, no, he pay me HE PAY ME I THOUGHT you were an idea They didn't pay me a thing. No, no, if you pay me you pay me You showed us that cool pitch deck. Don't pick a guy that's in professional fighting because that's going to the movie will suck. You need an actor actor. Jake Gyllenhaal No. I If I had If I had to pull something out of my ass right ████ now, probably have to pick Timothy Chalamet and Amba. Oh my god, DUDE. NO WAY. THAT'S JUST the last person He's a gay dude. That's the last guy you thought of. Fighter. But he's an incredible Okay, Jake Gyllenhaal then. I need someone that's really good at did a fighter movie. He's of doing all this. someone that can play a ████ French-American that's a full of himself. Wait. Does he Matt Serra
5:59 In the remake of Bloodsport, he still has to have an accent that's inexplicable. Yes. Okay. I Low-key, get get bring him back. Cuz I think what makes Bloodsport sick still do it. from when I was a kid, it was the first MMA movie I've ever seen. Yeah, 65. But as you get older um what made a lot of those ████ '80s, '90s films is you just have unexplainable things. Like, why is Oh, yeah. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy with a ████ Austrian accent, like why does he a special forces like you know, you just always have these weird Yeah, Austrian special forces. Yeah. Well, he's American special forces in Predator. Yeah. Yeah, all right, dude. Okay. Okay, dude. It does It does make no sense. But you know what? You need to have some of those, but then make it believable. So I need an actor actor. what they could do though? They bring him back as like the new ████ trainee guy. Like he's training He's bringing
6:50 him through all the training again. Like that's like the sensei? Yeah, I think that'd be tight. Van Damme has to be the Japanese guy. Yeah, he has to be the one putting him through the training. He plays the Japanese Yeah, A24's like, "Woah. This is why we pay you guys cuz we could never have cracked that." martial club to do the choreo? Yeah. Right? Oh, man. Mar- martial club would ████ kill it on the choreo. Yeah, that would be a And then Van Damme has a Japanese son. He He's just Japanese and it No one explains why he speaks French. You know what I would You know what I would love Jared, we get Jared to play You know what would be the a really great plot for like as a deep cut? Yeah. If in the in the new one, it's about how nobody believed Frank Dux when he was talking about the Kumite, but he wasn't lying. So you could have Jean-Claude Van Damme modern-day old and he's talking about it, but there's flashbacks.
7:40 Yeah. Cuz you know, like basically Frank Dux's name got dragged through the mud over this cuz they were like, "You're just a fraud. None of this ████ ever happened." But if it turned out that it really was true, that's pretty sick. Yeah. Bless you. You know what was kind of true though? Is the Kumite that the Kyokushin Karate guys did back in the day before it was K1. It was like Bloodsport. They even invited Kumite? I'm lost. Kumite it just means fight. Okay, what is it? It's the underground tournament that they do. Okay, what I've I've seen Bloodsport but I've never never heard of it. Kumite dude. It's like a 100-man contest or something, right? Is that what they call it? That's another one, but what the Kyokushin people did is they invited all the martial artists to come fight in Japan and they had a Bloodsport. Ooh. So you had Thai kickboxers. That's why their roundhouse is Thai.
8:30 Mhm. Cuz Huh? Do you know who won? I don't know, but it was like that was a precursor to like K1 and ████ That's tight. It was so cool. You could see footage of it. Did you see like Thai kickboxers fighting karate guys, all that ████ That's dope. That's what we want to see. If I had to go dark style, Dark style? Who is the guy that actor No, no, the actor that got in trouble recently? The black dude? Huh? Jonathan Majors. And he'd be good. As the lead? As the lead. I would change it up a little bit. style, do you mean because like he got in trouble or because of his skin color? His skin color is more dark skin color for sure. Okay, cuz that's what the that's the director talked about. Low-key he honestly though Dark style? Jonathan Majors He got the chops that he could actually pull that off. As a white as a white, you guys are DEI'ing this ████ bro. Can you guys not do that? This is already DEI'd. This guy's
9:20 French. one thing. This guy's a ████ French dude. that with Karate Kid. They brought in a black kid. a ████ French legionnaire or whatever the And it it worked out. Jonathan Majors could be really good. Depends on his actual martial arts ability and adapting, but But we'll get He could pull it off maybe. Jonathan Okay. That was actually a really good one. What up guys? Come join our patreon because there's hundreds of videos dating all the way back to 2019. That's right. If you click on the link down below, you can join our patreon, join us on the discord, come chat with us directly, have a fun conversation. And this will help support the channel's growth and new ideas. And also tap into our closer community by joining our discord and get the opportunity to suggest video ideas like the ones you've seen. Thank you guys. Join our patreon, help us out. Thanks. See you guys there. Say hi to me. If they if if you put this whole thing together, the A24 sees this video,
10:11 they're like, I like the way this guy thinks. I want to give him a bit part in the movie. What would you want to play? Bolo Young. I get Well, if you can't have a major part Put him in a put him in a a suit and have him be one of the guys get his ass beat at one of the points in the movie. Just have him be the fish. You can't have a you can't have a big part. He needs a bar bar fight guy. Bart Bart's going to be the okay USA guy. When you go to the alley Okay USA, that guy? Yeah, he could be Okay USA. You got to be a character that comes back in the in the new one. Yeah, I could be in the beginning where that guy goes and gets Jean-Claude Van Damme in the shower. I could be that guy. I go to see Jonathan Majors, I go, "Hurry up." Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Can we get a close-up of that? Can we get a close-up of that?
11:01 to be the guy that He's really giving us a lot. to be the guy that sweeps A little harder, a little blood if we can. The sweeping guy that sees the gold tooth. Oh, DUDE. WHY DOES VAN DAMME always want to show his butt? It's part of the contract, dude. I don't think he wanted to at first. I think ████ Golden Globes was like, you must do this. he wanted to at first? he knows it sells. Have you ever listened to the guy talk for 5 minutes? He loves himself. In the beginning, you think he wanted to do that? showing his ass in everything. Dude, like him doing the splits at the hotel room, he loves showing his ass. Dude, every every movie he's in, there's a shower scene and then he ████ someone. his ass. I just don't think he had that much control. Dude, he showed his ass in Street Fighter, dude. He was That was his first movie. As Guile. I'm going to kick his ass. As so hard. Guy, you think a guy in a low-budget production in their first movie gets to decide how much ass he shows?
11:51 By the way, Universal Soldier, that's a slept-on movie. Yeah, yeah. That movie's sick. Sick movie. And do you think Lionheart. The director Lionheart. Lionheart's Lionheart's my favorite Van Damme. You think the director told him to wear silk underwear? I think that was his choice. Also, you get to bring back one slur, only for Bloodsport. Dave, you said slurs? One slur? in Double in Double What was it? Double Impact? Oh. He'll be faking it. I love that word. That's what he does in Double Impact. Oh, really? Yeah. Because he's he was like super drunk and like went off one night and then his twin is like He's he's like a Oh, the the drunk guy goes, "Well, in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be a ████ Wow. That's a good line. Yeah, it's That's the verbatim. My buddy Horton he uses like Jewish Italian dude. You guys remember Horton, right? Mhm. And he used When he would When he used
12:41 to be in traffic, he would just sit there and he'd be like, "Oh, this ████ slow-ass ████ giddy whop Jews." And he And he's And he's a He's advanced. So, he's just like Sacha Baron Cohen. making fun of people in traffic, but he always would say that and it would crack me up. That's crazy. I guess he has the courage for it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he could pull it off. Yeah. Wow. But yeah, I'm excited for the A24 one too. Yeah, that's going to be crazy. They haven't said who they're going to book yet, though. I don't think those movies are like can live without Van Damme, though. I agree. He has to It is Van Damme. Like Kickboxer. million in the first weekend. Budget of $50 million. to be in it somehow. But I mean, you know they made four Bloodsports. Did they? What? There's four of them. Without him? None of the other ones have Jean-Claude Van Damme in it. Really? They got weird guys in it. But yeah, Did they Did you watch them? Hell no. fourth one right there. I got to rewatch
13:33 You know what? What happened to white martial artists like on screen? I don't know. Ask your people, dude. Ask your people, bro. There was a whole era. Yeah, like that It's almost as if American Ninja, Chuck Norris, all of those guys. Beverly Hills Ninja. Beverly Hills Oh my god, they need to remake that. Beverly Hills Ninja would be great, but Chris Farley though, like They can't replace him. carried it though. Who could do that? Yeah, they can't, dude. They can't do it. They're going to make Ace Ventura again. Who would If you had a cast them, who would it be now, modern day? Who would be the best Probably Jack Black. Probably a fatter Shane Gillis. Yeah, fatter Shane Gillis. If you see Shane Gillis got really fat. But that fool is Jack Black But he's not physical enough though. Like Jack Black is physical enough. Like Maybe Horatio Sanz. Oh, yeah. Horatio Sanz. What happened to that dude? I don't know. I was in the writer's room with them at Maker. He's just really funny. He's a very nice guy.
14:23 Is that guy really funny like just shooting off ████ too? I think he was going through some ████ in his life at that point, but he was He's always breaking on camera. He wasn't He wasn't like engaged with things. He was just sort of there. Oh. Staring off. Yeah. Kind of. Will Sasso. Oh, Will Sasso. Will Sasso, that guy's a legend. Hey, low-key Will Sasso would be really good. is so funny. He needs a leading role, man. He deserves his flowers, I think. Honestly, he needs his own movie. He should be in everything. He's so good at anything he If he's If he's like a waiter in a show, you're like It's crazy he never made it into the Adam Sandler group of people. Yeah. Cuz that's like his so his thing, yeah. Cuz in in in in What was it? Happy Gilmore, he's there. He just hit that guy. But that's what I mean, why didn't he come back? I thought he was going to be in there and But I think Will Sasso is a great He's underrated, for sure. Adam Sandler always had his homies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would like some probably. Why do people hate him? He must be creepy to women.
15:13 He must suck to work with. You like that one? You like that comment? Who's that? Bloodsport 3. He looks like Van Damme. Yeah, man. They try to They try to recreate Wait, Van Damme's back? I think that's He's got to be back. They can't do it without him. They'll have him in there for a sec. Yeah. Yeah, Tyco will be like, "Oh, should I watch those?" I'm like, "No, I don't watch any of the other ones, dude." Like, what? Has he tried the other ones? I'm like, "I don't watch I want to be in the bar for Kickboxer when he starts dancing with the girls and then like he beats up everybody. scene. That's why it is. Play this. The clap just kills me, dude. It gets me every time. bad movies? High concept bad movies? You know what's one of them is is uh The The Forgotten or Forgotten, I think it's called, without the Is that the Mark Wahlberg one? No, it's like um it it has the coolest
16:03 premise. You watch the trailer, you're hooked. It's I told you about it here one time. It's about this woman who like one day wakes up and sh- it's like she never had a kid. And then the neighbor had a kid, too. And then they both are like, "What happened They She basically goes, "What happened to my kid? And what happened to your kid?" And he the neighbor's like, "I never had a kid." Woah. And then uh she goes over to like his house or some ████ and starts tearing ████ up trying to find if he like killed his kid or something. But he's like convinced he never had one. And then she tears the wallpaper down and the child wallpaper's underneath the And it's that's all. You're just like the trailer for this. "What the ████ happened?" But then the answer ends up being aliens. Damn it. They got abducted. Aliens abducted the kid. Or Carter. Yeah. Remodeled the house. And they don't tell you until like the very end. Pick the new wallpaper. Yeah, we better cover the wallpaper or they're we're really going to be ████ boys. They're going to know. They're going to take down the whole alien race.
16:55 An alien hand flipping through swatches? I just said, "Ah, this doesn't match the colors." Go to Sherwin Williams and pull a pull a color sample. Ah, this is terrible. LVP. Oh, where'd they get these paints? Where'd they get these paints? THAT'S WHY I ONLY get GE, man. No, LVP. There's like a ████ alien that she went to like a home These walls make easy Ugly house, man. Ugly house. And that's why you only want to use LVP. You guys remember the Spielberg AI movie? I just didn't think it worked. Oh, the one that's called AI. Haley Joel Osment. I ████ love that movie. He's like, you watch your ████ mouth. I love that movie. Go for it. Put some respect on that name. It was the That kid was getting all the roles at that era. Haley Joel. It was. He was dunking checks left and right. Yeah, he's he's doing bad now. Jumper? Remember that movie? Oh, yeah. That is a cool one. Yeah. but that movie should have been so sick. Yeah, right? Like
17:45 I remember he could See him teleport anywhere he wants. And be like, this is dope. I thought Looper should have been better than it was. Oh. He had the fake nose. That's what it was. I like it, but I mean, just the concept is way too big for the what they did. I was like, man. I didn't like the new Bad Boys. Oh, that's terrible. I couldn't even get through the first 15 minutes. I'm such a Bad Boys guy, too, that it was rough. Yeah, I don't know. Was it still Will Smith? Will Smith, Martin Lawrence. It was It was better than than the What was it? The third one? But it just seemed like the whole time, it just felt like they're just trying to get another paycheck. Yeah, it's shot so like that, too. Yeah. Die Hard movie was like that. It was so absolutely bad. It was like direct-to-DVD bad. They ruined it, too. Cuz I actually didn't hate Live Free or Die Hard as much as a lot of people did, but the last last one was god awful. Skipped it. Yeah. Shanks.
18:35 And then also, um Interstellar. Schwack. What? Whack movie. Did you see it? Interstellar? We just watched it again. Whack movie. Fumble ditch. Fumble then. Fun beat it at the pool hall. Good concept, bad filming. Bad movie, bad music, bad acting, bad bad especially the music, bad special effects.
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