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Chess Genius Denies Very Interesting Cheating Allegations

#analbeads#chess#magnus#prostate#bead
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 thank you [Music] um hey stop looking man you're right here well I'm just I'm right here you're right here hey what's article about hey what's article about it did you cheat in high school all the time okay let him present the article based on that one glass you know what I don't like this because because you're putting it in front of me I like the excitement it wasn't in front of you you're just staring at it anyway you know what did you read what did you read on the screen I saw me nervous I thought I don't you know what it's Anthony's job and I want him to you know I don't want to say his thing he's a very good guy he's a good guy he's a great guy he was a good guy just read this just read that chest genius denies using anal beads to cheat during tournament how do you cheat using

0:50 anal beads oh is that that Magnus there is a thing where you know when you put um you when you feel in your ████ they what is the what is the bead on your left side of your ass the prostate when you tap the prostate it sends you a signal that makes you think before you can transcend into a higher intelligence that's why guys are dumb it's nobody ████ transcended through their that's why gay guys are smart did you know gay couples are the highest earning couples in America I believe that the prostate smart and financially savvy so the prostate is on the left that's what I heard oh it's on the left oh I didn't know I thought it would be like behind my balls but yeah have you ever found

1:40 your process on the right other people did yeah what other people found your prostate when you when someone touch your prostate I was smarter for a couple days besides besides the smart part I'm talking about the real stuff like did it was it was it pretty good the prostates did you come hard I liked it a little bit I want to try everything one time like chess I would try and the anal beast but I put my finger up there one time yeah and he looked for it how far did you get it did you see the did you see the quadratic formula I did wait is it like isn't it like when you're scratching your own back versus when somebody's scratching it for you or like a massage no when I scratched my own bag I could still jizz though oh okay wow you know you're not just when you're

2:31 yeah so you guys like chess yeah I used to be a part of the chess team I got kicked out because this kid kept cheating and so I ████ arm swiped the chess board and through the ████ table over and then the teacher was like how was he cheating I was in third grade see one of those ████ where he moves and then right when you're about to move oh wait wait wait you already knows the ████ move I'm trying to do or he would just do stupid moves like you know how the ████ rook's supposed to move and all that he would make up his own ████ and I was like ████ this ████ ████ table swipe through and then when the teacher came I was like this motherfucker's cheating dude you're gonna be okay with that ████ and then I got kicked out for for ████ regulating the cheaters I regulated the cheater and I got kicked you still snitched bro a ball monitor

3:22 yeah true I shouldn't have snitched you yeah you deserve death for that one dude Trump's cheating I'm just like it's a bigger crime on somebody the biggest crime is when you go like this and then she let go oh no no no no no no no as soon as you let go once you lose contact that's bigger climb the snitching yeah that's the worst and snitchy because he already know when when he goes like this he sees that you're gonna ████ take his Pawn or whatever and he's like oh I ████ up well let me do it this way yeah yeah take backers just I just learned that take backs is worse than snitching but that's good the scale changes always it's always so um this uh quote unquote chess genius all right uh recently like Jason over here just blew the whistle on uh has been accused of cheating

4:12 um by use of anal bees can anybody guess how that might have happened and it's not the prostate thing it's uh it's around the prostate thing all right this this is this is what I think all right expensive chess pieces have pieces of metal on their ████ thing right so he uses a ████ magnetic anal bead to navigate and move the chest pieces and he's like I'm not doing that nothing and then he's like and then his ████ like this position changes yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna give that a slight almost really really I mean it's definitely wrong but I mean there's like oh let us guess and get closer then I don't know enough about Chess to give you let me give you let me give you a couple more variables of the situation okay uh there is this a kid named Hans Neiman

5:05 age 19. somehow managed to beat five-time world champion player Magnus Carlson oh wow Magnus is the ████ yeah he's a Jordan at the at the sync field Cup Tournament in St Louis all right so 19 year old kid out of nowhere comes and beats five-time world champion players so people are and they're all like there's no way he's got to have something in his ass check his ass yeah then uh shortly after this quote unquote uh lost by the five-time champion Carlton the champion mysteriously withdraws from the championship which comes with a 350 000 overall prize fund so then it's kind of like why why would you withdraw from the company you're the beer the goat you're the best dude taking a Twitter he writes quote I've withdrawn from the tournament I've always enjoyed playing in the at St Louis chess club and hope to be back in

5:56 the future but alongside the caption he shares a cryptic clip of football manager Jose Mourinho saying quote if I speak I am in big trouble end quote okay so he's got a little mystery behind it he's The Whistleblower he wants he ratted himself out no no this is the five-time champion who got beat oh withdrawing from it and then he like leaves this little this little cryptic kind of clip why is he withdrawing from it why would you why would you is that Magna Carlson's anal beats no no but he's embarrassed about it so he's using this black mower every time he's about to beat and goes remember these and these oh ████ they're not in they're not in his ass he's just holding he's like remember these I'm gonna tell the world about these dude because he's like I'm gonna ████ ruin you right now everyone thinks you're ████ a hard ass chest it's a black male ████ yeah

6:46 cause it would ruin his reputation he's a masculine chess player he's wearing it as a necklace yeah like like in his face he's like a 90s so ████ so it's like a band guy with the with the beads all around his neck it's like when Chong Lee puts the band down on his knee yeah yeah dude exactly and he's playing it the whole time he's doing chess and ████ yeah and that's all that's the story guys he's hearing it Russell I am really interested how this could possibly be what does anal tell us already we're seven minutes in right after this uh obviously after the Tweet rumors of cheating soon started to circulate especially after organizers of the tournament ramped up security measures and thoroughly checked Neiman before his next game although they found nothing on him but now you're probably understanding where the anal beads come

7:36 you know is it is it is it because they they did a metal digit program like right around the ass and they're like what's that what's in your pocket sir if he's like I'm plugged up and they're like what I'm plugged up so following Neiman's win Canadian Grand Masters Eric Hansen and Amman Hamilton speculated in a twitch stream whether he'd hidden a vibrating version of the sex toy in his shoe to offer signals indicating the Right Moves to oh wow and it didn't take long for the idea to take a life of its own on social media with none other than the Tesla CEO Elon Musk weighing in on the controversy quote Talent hits a Target no one else can hit genius hit a Target no one can see that's true quote because it's in your butt schopenhauer whoa that's a really ████ it is a genius thing to do wait so how did they do it did one

8:26 person he wears those edible those uh those little underwears that have a vibrant yeah and then someone's in the back just pushing buttons basically but in anal bead format so he's literally the speculation he's just going crazy like it's not vibrating anal beings that are in his ass that will vibrate when he is in order for him to understand whatever that language whatever the key to like Morse ████ so he's going like this and then he's waiting and then he goes excuse me I am a genius wait so the Champs you have to keep it on to confirmary like this just do take back he's like oh yeah yeah as long as you never lets go the pizza right no thinking that's why he's so the champ was signaling to the

9:16 which one was signaling cheater was getting signals there's it's like a person that's probably going through like the most what's it called like the statistically best moves to do yeah by like looking at the live stream or something like that basically or like it's like your coaches in the corner telling you don't make this move make this move so someone was remote vibrating on his ████ that's the speculation but what but why couldn't they just play the game if they knew better no because the difference is when you're like let's say there's a team of three or four of you and then you're watching the live streams so you can see and then you can play out every single move and take it back or like computer or you could just like a computer versus like obviously if you're there in the spot the second you let go you'll see what's because they do have the machine learning or the computer beat the best chess player was it Magnus that they that I think so he's the only he's like the main ████ guy and they beat him and that was like a big deal like holy ████ that's how they caught him somebody

10:06 was trying to airdrop and it said how come Magnus uh uh like pulled himself out he knew about the cheating and he or something he didn't want to because he knew that the take backseats is a worse crime that's snitching but snitching is still bad that Magnus is up the streets yeah he knows the rules so he's like he's like I want to say ████ but I'll get in trouble so I'm just gonna I'm not gonna go commit a worship yeah cause I thought Magnus would just be like being extorted I think that was more true I think that one's more he's like I think our speculation that he was twirling the anal beads that belong to Madness is the right trail of evidence we should be sniffing that's ████ smart a little Wi-Fi anal bead so the 19 year old newcomer has since addressed the accusations in a lengthy interview

10:56 speaking in a five-hour stream posted on St Louis chess club he admitted to cheating in online games when he was a young team which he called quote an absolute ridiculous mistake Neiman went on to say that never in his life has he cheated in an over the board game AKA in real life and never in an online tournament for prize money other than when he was 12 years old so it's all still speculation oh so the anal bead stuff is they didn't catch him they just made it up people just made it up you got anal beads in your shoe or some ████ apparently there's been some version of like this vibrating sex toy hidden somewhere that like can communicate therefore there's like you know an understood kind of conspiracy if there's a way to cheat that's how people but if if you if you uh add that to the security had to check him before his next round and found nothing on him then I think the imagination of like it's got

11:46 to be in his ass well what if he's just monetizing his stream he's not really using it to cheat you know like you can donate money and make the ████ thing vibrate yeah yeah oh guys guys please don't oh guys please that's a big money I'm trying to play ooh I love those videos those are my favorite videos yeah that's what I watch foreign

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