0:00 [Music] there's a man who was left with chronic back pain after trying to suck his own penis that's what you get though that's what you get he's been over like this this whole time that's why everyone says take yoga did he bend this way or this way i don't understand why is he bending to suck his own penis oh yours yours reaches your chin like mine i see you know you know what i'm talking about no one else does no one else knows what we're talking about right now it's ████ up actually my mind's like this far away i could lick it but really yeah damn yeah we only have one dick sucking professional here so let's go ahead and turn him good joe explain how you would do this like that ah like that if you have chronic pain that means you must be trying like hours a week differently than everyone else i don't know it's my i'm ex letting my
0:51 air out it's not the easiest way to be on your back and then just like oh oh like you throw your legs over you dominating though no i don't want to be dominated almost gets his own dick suck every time he does that one trick wow he lands on his head trying to suck his little dick like that have you guys ever dreamt that you did that ████ your own ████ you wake up you're like i've dreamt that i did that walk us through the shoes you're sucking your own dick when you woke up the fact you're not calling it a nightmare is concerning if you if success if you could the real treat if you guys could in your horniest time in junior high and high school dude for sure would you have done it in that time you would just do it to be ████ hilarious yeah i don't know about funny maybe we have different mindsets i don't even need the perimeter of
1:41 junior high high school like if it happened like if i could do it now like i'd be like i gotta go to the bathroom and like i i kind of agree if i could i would would you jizz in your mouth you're not oh that feels good because it it feels good you know what's crazy what's great is bart goes you know how good that feels nah playa i don't like i don't know shots of the mouth bro it feels good it doesn't feel like a waterpik toothbrush i wonder how if it would distract like if it will take away from how good the dick feels because it's in your mouth while you're choking yourself the back of your throat you're you're feeling good and you're feeling gag at the same time yeah yeah would you just in your own mouth no i don't think so follow it i don't believe i'm good
2:32 tickle yourself because you never want to swallow but if you said the gagging thing is a good point though because like you know not everyone gags because it you know you don't need to but like would you gag for your own your own stuff yeah yeah yeah would i deep throat myself yeah like would it go so far that my balls are also in my mouth yeah would you be like i don't i don't mean this but this is for you wow honestly when i brush my teeth and i clean my tongue i'm gagging all the time dude so i don't i think so you you brush your tongue you brush your teeth always how do you brush your tummy brush your teeth oh that's how you do that yes i just wanted that shot yeah and you could edit this edit that you can edit a dick in my
3:22 hand if you guys want tonsils and everything i can't reach that far i honestly i honestly believe all guys if they could they would i think so even secretly even secretly even secretly i think i think so i think you try it in their mouth no i don't think that but i do think that they would they would go down on the side i'm gonna follow the penis in my mouth though okay it's mine but here's the question and it also pertains to the article how old is too old for you to try to suck your own dick why would there be an age i did the flexibility thing i don't know dude because i feel like kids like uh when you're growing up like middle school you're like oh yeah i wanna i wanna try to suck my own dick but as you get older it's like i seriously well yeah cause you're not because you know you can't though yeah imagine you try and then you do and you're like honestly that was way better than my hand how bad do you want to suck your own dick that's what it comes down to i think it's virgin movies yeah like when you have never had your dick sucked before
4:12 you're so curious you might want to yeah you won't know what it feels like but then if you already can get your dick sucked then why would you use your own mouth for it you know what no one knows your penis i know i know that i can get a hand job right but i know that when i give myself a hand job i'm the best in the world but i still prefer hanging let me see show me how good it is talking all this ████ dude let me see i could last forever when i'm with somebody else and i'm the man i'm a king one of myself i can't last more than five seconds andy before you try to suck your own dick do you tie your own hair up and then go for the guys along i hold my hair up so that it feels like i'm dominating myself you start combing your own hair while you're trying to suck your own dick i should probably share some information about this i'm not gonna do the michael jackson and ████
5:02 that's pretty good but when you do it though do you before you do before you suck your own penis do you slap your face with your penis oh how degrading i thought you meant just slap yourself like normally would you do that anthony and then ████ jizz all over yourself that's nick look at his face right now the answer is yes to all of it dude or like do you ask yourself hey am i going to swallow a knob or do you want it on your face oh that's what you do if you're on a trip away from home you're on a work trip bro the last thing i want to do if i'm trying to suck my own dick is look at myself trying to suck my own dick dude that's probably the worst thing you don't want to see the strain on your
5:53 shame that's a shame i don't know dude you know it might be valentine's day you know you might need some company you ever jack off and then catch yourself in the mirror and you're like oh god what's wrong with me don't look at me where you're like what's wrong with me you just catch you catch your own look in the in like a reflection somewhere you're like oh people's over here like this is the lowest point that's not a pretty thing look at me don't look at me oh no no so ugly like you know those videos where people are jacking off and then the webcams on they didn't realize it they look so they're always like like it doesn't look good i gotta be honest i don't know those videos i'll send you some links bro so a man has suffered a devastating back injury after trying to suck his own penis and this guy opened up on a reddit post about the moment he heard a crack during his latest attempt so apparently
6:45 he tried multiple times he's documenting it on reddit apparently he explained that this was certainly not the first time he's tried to do the deed and to be fair loads of men will have tried at least once loads of men that's not a correct quantification no i love i love the word loads yeah he should have just taken ████ stretching class or yoga or something i john i'm sure he probably tried and i will i'll make sure he knows that you feel this concern i feel so get the dark knight bro if you're trying to suck your own dick just get a machine that's going to do it for you nothing can replicate the lips that dark yeah but if you're going to break your ████ vertebrae if i guys said that every attempt has been a success oh oh good for you however the most recent one clearly didn't go according to plan one day as usual getting ready to do my thing i did stretches so i can be more elastic okay so he did take yoga and then he said today i ████ up
7:35 wow so he had a process he had a system he was successful and then just one time he's got injury yeah he sucks his own dick that much and he was just ████ slamming his ████ face on his dick real hard i don't know this was just a photo associated with the article you know that's the thing is it's such a stock photo unless there's video i don't believe it yeah that's true unless this video i don't believe yeah i saw a porno where a guy uh sucked his own dick but i wasn't even looking for that on the thumbnail okay it was like two hot like russian girls with this one dude right and i was like oh ████ a threesome video you know very vanilla very very you know predictable and then you click the video you click the video in act three i'll tell you you know they're probably gonna do the same format you know it's it's just their good old threesome russian categories right yeah no incest none of that new school ████ just threesomes not
8:25 in russia it's a protocol for threesome classic none of that new testament form the video starts uh the video starts where the girls are spying on the dude and now who's like in a hotel bed right and he has his legs straight like this his legs straight like this and he's just like chilling and he goes down and he starts sucking his own dick and i'm all like how well first of all he didn't have to stretch that far he's pretty flexible but he has a big dick and it passes his belly button whoa and he's like just sucking it right wow and the girls are coming up like you don't have to do that by yourself and then i'm like that's ████ hot and then they ████ and i'm like wow i mean they could have caught him jacking off but why did he suck his own dick yeah that was just the weirdest yeah it threw me off so much that i was like man i can't jack off now it's all the ladies that are watching this comment below if
9:15 you would be interested in a threesome with a guy if you call him suck his own dick he's like i'm running fast as ████ i have to run in this scene maybe he insisted huh yeah he's like wait next thing i'm not gonna jack off he never told the director he's gonna do that the guy's like oh ████ this is cool and that's why i love improv here guys [Laughter] ladies you're fired we don't we don't need you today we're reaching to a solo scene today it's just second city russia that's what they're about and this wasn't even meant to be a porn but okay we could sell this damn second city russia would be crazy and who's the porn director that wrote
10:05 this he goes okay so you're going to be sucking your own dick and the girls are going to spy on you and they're going to be so horny that you're sucking your own dick they're going to do it for you and i'm like what do you think that was this director's like lifelong dream like he wrote a script like the writer of the script like you know a guy sucking his own dick okay where are we gonna find this guy though yeah and then like for 20 years they couldn't find him they finally found him like yes they put the dust off the script yeah dude finally we got it bring out old betsy it's analog it's like written [Laughter] maybe on the porn star resume too like there's guys that are like i know you know like in actors they'll be like i know martial arts i could ride a unicycle like they have all those special things special skill sharks so they ████ scream the dudes that can suck their own dicks dude like you put that on your acting right that would
10:56 be like stand out you think you get calls more probably i think so i think you get more people going for pornography [Laughter] wow we just needed you to ride a bike but okay [Laughter] hey let me ask you guys a question though okay so let's say let's say like your penis is so big that you just have to bend your neck down to like suck it wow i would try i don't think i would finish myself you finishing your eye like i get it no but like if you had a penis that big though you have to also imagine that you're going to endure a lot of rejection because a lot of girls will see and go oh no that is there's no way that's coming inside of me like you're not so you the guys with large penises they're sure they brag about it and stuff but they've probably been rejected that's true like that's too that's too
11:46 big yeah and like they can never get it all the way in yeah some girls you know it's too painful they don't know what to feel they don't know what that feels like yeah they only have to deal with like four hands on it you know yeah yeah girls gotta ████ ████ it like this to make it work oh man my huge dick problem means that only three girls at a time can feel like they're enjoying it that's too ████ big dude joe's skill level yeah those polynesian climbers we're gonna get some coconuts bro you
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