0:00 [Music] this one's going to take a little bit of a imagination so close your eyes and just picture this exact mental image cookies you're in ireland you're a construction worker mm-hmm you work at the top of a crane i'm out what's up with the crane okay oh okay here's that it's a long long way down so you can't be bothered to go and just take a piss or take a ████ or anything you just have to find the nearest plastic bag to ████ in wow i got one of those things no you're in a residential you're in a residential area in a crane yeah you're in a crane i'm like trimming some hedges or something there's a 7-11 across the street can i get a monster real quick you can't do it you won't even go down there it takes too long okay the crane's
0:51 real high up so you're on top of this crane you've just finished filling an entire plastic bag with your own ████ oh god good aim what do you do with it you don't want this bag of ████ up there with you i chuck it in yes that's exactly oh my god that's exactly what happens so you chuck that big old bag of ████ down and it lands on the roof of some guy's house that's exactly what this dude did who's who's whose house he got in trouble for it who's awesome here we go it's it's actually on video oh god the chucking is on video all of it's outfitted shut the ████ it's full recording but it's a tick-tock thing it's his ████ laugh that's hilarious i ████ hate she's irish here you go let's see if you visualized it correctly uh joey's abandoned driver that's a big-ass ████ and uh
1:45 this guy sounds like conor mcgregor it's pretty funny [Laughter] gosh it exploded damn yeah so this guy got fired from his construction job that was a big lock how did he get caught dumb ass and posted this ████ on tick-tock yeah tick-tock yeah he's an idiot thanks that is the ████ funniest thing to get fired for i think that's it's really funny i don't i think it should be frowned upon but i feel like uh that's really funny though do you feel like it's like getting fired from the job is like getting fired on that contract but then still being hired as a contractor maybe you know for other projects or is it like you are no longer working in this industry it's probably for that company you know what's crazy like so when he got fired he was pissed
2:37 at the person that ratted him out whenever that happens that's the best dude i'm not wrong i bet you that's because everyone does it and he's just the first one to get oh everyone's ████ maybe everybody did it for like a century but then they didn't have tick tock at the time because you know those crane workers really do like they don't go down to ████ or piss they just go in something yeah it's not convenient you can't be the ████ pioneer of throwing a bag of ████ off a crane can you imagine working with people that you guys seem ████ all the time and stuff be interesting if i saw like bark well that'd be that wouldn't be weird but seeing everybody else in this room ████ you know uh bart's like naked all the time in here but you're like naked all the time so if you did take a ████ you're only like one degree away from normal it's not as crazy it doesn't look any different yeah
3:27 but that's one's like a vulnerable position i'm making emotional faces this is weird it's emotional it's emotional time but if we catch bart in the parking lot doing a squat and scratching his back with a ████ tree branch it's not even blinking we're just like yeah but he's hot he's hot he's on his head have you guys been through a childhood phase of pooping in places you're not supposed to no okay i didn't have the courage i thought it wasn't nobody has okay i didn't have the balls to do that yeah my friend's a pediatrician they say that doesn't happen actually and it's super weird there was a abandoned house and my friend thought it was so funny to like break into their house and then poop in their toilet right and his brother thought it was so funny to do it like in their backyard and i thought it was conflicting opinions yeah to climb up on the roof
4:18 and take a ████ inside the chimney that's the creature everybody that's actually pretty funny though hey you win 9th grade the official submission for the streaming the first like taking a ████ in a chimney that's next level dude no like on the top yeah i know i know that's the magic i sat on it like a toilet and took a dump inside and my friend climbed up to make sure i would do it and he was laughing the whole time oh so you really did it and i was laughing so hard that this ████ came out like that honestly though that's pretty legendary yeah and hey you're joe mama i ran up there with them i roll a toilet paper that's how you brought the toilet paper up yeah oh nice did you put the toilet paper down the chimney too i don't know about the toilet paper just to tp the other house didn't even use it see that's not that's not really as crazy you actually like
5:08 cleaned yourself up but you know like those guys that are really like nuts and they'll just ████ and then pull their pants up and they'll just laugh and you can't ████ do that you're missing an itchy elephant no ████ well you're talking about the people that can downtown that ████ on the stuff no i mean just like just like rowdy ass dudes i don't know people are rowdy and rowdy no but like they'll just be like check this out and they'll just ████ on the street like college football exactly as a joke but then if if they actually have toilet paper cleaners up i'm like that's still civilized yeah yeah yeah but i get scared by the dudes that just ████ and pull their pants off yeah there's something dark about that yeah exactly there's something dystopian about it yeah cause i never i never understood that like i always think about that after i take a ████ right i'm like what did the ancients do before toilet banana leaves well i mean like just in general like if you're in the jungle right you just take a dump and then you stand right back up
5:59 are they so organic and healthy that they have those magical poops where like you just don't need a wipe because you know sometimes that has a little ghost we didn't have that much stool like the way the dog dogs do it right yeah i mean they licked their ass to clean it but they probably just jumped in the nile river and then like rinsed under and oh yeah probably that could be i had a college roommate that was like that i came home once and then the door was you're just ████ and the door was just open and i'm like you didn't close the door and he's like oh okay you don't like it and then he closed it i was just like damn this guy's like you're not my wife okay i want my wife to have the door open okay you don't like it no he would just say hi he'll be like oh hey guys just taking a ████ no lie that was lawrence kyle i hate to blast him on such a private thing but but when is it i do picture him because lauren's kyle reminds me of him because that guy also doesn't wear underwear on
6:49 the regular didn't wear underwear he would shower with the door open or unlocked and then he never used the towel he air dries so he would like wear underwear put his jeans back on imagine that feeling like you're still wet i'm not gonna tell he's just such a ████ rebel i'm not gonna wear underwear and put my jeans on and go wet and when i say ████ the door can be open lauren says charming enough guys who say like not air dry those are rebels dude they're renegades yeah they're like they're like future leaders keep an eye on those guys have you guys tried that like getting out of the shower just putting on clothes i've had to do it yeah sometimes out of necessity it's not comfortable yeah that's what i'm saying it's not comfortable right it feels like you just got drenched on a rainy day but your clothes are dry but you're wet inside and you hope you warm them up enough it's a little weird you never asked lauren's like why don't you just towel off a little bit he's a rebel man what's he going to say are you going to give me logic he's going to say isa pisa i sort of
7:39 know what he wants he's like you can't cage a bird or it dies do you guys ever like uh when your significant others aren't home do you guys ever walk around the house naked never yeah or why why don't you how come they aren't home like when they're at work or something why can't you do that when they are home you can but i just feel like you're you feel like a baby you're trying to respect your wife and not show her do you feel like when you're alone you should put clothes on and be respectable and then when she's here you should take them off no i think the opposite i think like do you guys have cameras in your house now no yeah because i have cameras in my house now so i think about that the whole time like if a hacker can see me now i'm just naked whatever the ████ i want yeah i honestly don't mind a hacker hacking my ████ and just seeing my naked like i think that's worse for them yeah good for them you know what it is he'll make him give up the life one of the bathrooms my window it's like kind of low so if i'm peeing
8:30 the my other neighbor if they're walking upstairs they could see my dick peeing into the toilet oh the upstairs that kind of makes you feel powerful no it's weird because one time i was peeing and then ████ i think they're getting like i don't know the cabinet's redone or some ████ four ████ construction guys just popped out of nowhere and i felt shy so i was like peeing like this and i was like whoa i don't have to like pee like this on the wall but i still didn't want to like get out yeah one of my neighbors was just you know we were just talking to her and stuff and she was like i always wonder can you guys see me if i'm naked or whatever and we're like no i'm like you want to come upstairs and see for yourself and she's like yeah can i oh my god so she goes up to her room and she's like looking into her house from our place and she's like oh yeah you can't see ████ and i'm like yeah those are people who want to get caught oh you think so absolutely oh shannon pick up on that because there's
9:20 times where like all right i'm gonna be very vulnerable right now i like it should i okay time to attack patreon patreon okay we do need to don't attack no if if uh because my my bathroom also for some reason it has like a floor to ceiling uh window but obviously the ████ blinds are always down because it's a bathroom right like you when you shower it's smart however so obviously it's always down especially because anybody who's in my building or is close that can see it from the elevator shaft or whatever i don't want them seeing anything but wait so i turn the blinds in such a way where nobody can see from close proximity but from far away across the street there's a whole other building that can see through the blinds if i turn it that way to block everybody else but i have no problem with somebody who's super far away seeing my ass okay yeah because they don't know they don't know who you are exactly right in my
10:11 building i'm like ████ no dude that's really weird it's like 240. from far away i'm like i don't care if you see me naked i think you should show your ass boy you know what i mean i gotta show last night i was pounding on my wife pretty good and the wind and like the windows are open we don't have anything over them yet like on the second story so i was like pounding her pretty good and i was like you know what if you could see this you're kind of proud ████ welcome yeah right there's there's some there's something really weird about like if you're perverted enough to try and pay attention do you have a ████ kaleidoscope or whatever the ████ that you look like kaleidoscope if you have a kaleidoscope a hundred of you if you have a kaleidoscope you probably shouldn't use it to watch this but just so you know [Music]
11:09 you
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