0:00 thank you [Music] so these are the foreign objects that got stuck into people's body during 2022. let's go now this guy tried to say it was ████ spaghetti in the urethra hey everything's spaghetti to somebody from the from the butt why would you ask did you just say right now why would you say that Steve's best this is about ears this is about I thought it was like I thought it was about how many you know like the jackass like like Stevo he stuck the uh like a Hot Wheel I thought it was like that like how many people stuck things up their butt though Jesus Christ can I grow up in 2023 at sea level right now guys can we just grow the ████ up in 2023 is that okay with you I thought that's what you were saying nah yeah
0:50 those penises and there's throats and there's ████ too let's go all right so oh 36 okay Google 125. we're good we're golden and we're and we're still eligible for streamies they don't know which one to pick so up the nose fairly standard Tic Tacs level Tic Tacs whatever ████ Noob ████ baby stuff yeah you signed up you put your email address in and you said join you found the traffic lights a flower someone shoved their flower up their nose I think you would do the flower no because you're smelling you know what though I remember kids always stuck things up their nose in elementary school and I called them the crayon eaters yeah all those kids that got stuff stuffed sick burned the ████ they eat the crayon they do interesting things you know what I did is I ate a bell during Christmas time it's like one
1:40 of those stocking Bells no way yeah because I wanted to see if I could jump up and down in here jingling yeah and I told my mom that she had to take out the Merc manual and look for like is is it gonna get metal did you just ████ it out yeah shoot it out but I don't even know if I showed it out because I didn't see it could you hear it though yeah I heard it when I was ████ it out it heard it like ring like a bell I couldn't that was the saddest thing yeah and then I told that story in school and then one kid tried to call me like like the bell bell boy or whatever and it didn't stick it's not a good name not a good name that was so close though it could have stuck it could have started your story it's already self-deprecating and you can't be it doesn't that's why I think it is yeah it doesn't stick that way yeah you have to find out about it yeah oh boy so I'm gonna please don't make that stick please don't please okay so you gave Anthony thank you
2:31 fishing lore a fishing lure someone shoved a fishing lure up their ████ nose that's crazy cut balls a piece of a computer mouse why wait which part probably like this guy clicker or the squirrel oh the clitoris remember the old ones where you flip them over turn the thing take the little ball out yeah yeah yeah I remember and it's covered in dust yeah Optical ones yeah okay we're gonna scroll scroll scroll because who cares about that throat small flashlight SIM card glue stick Bingo chip dog toy cat toy that's what I mean what's the point of voting these ████ are boating and then you go vote too yeah ████ it dude this is the reason why I'm against democracy yeah ████ speaking flashlights in and they're also voting I'm like bro well but you think they're sticking the flashlight because they want to see if it glows through their throat and then it gets locked up oh okay the benefits
3:24 also I'm a registered voter you can go to somebody around the world who's like looking at this fool getting like a fear everybody tattoos like why is this ████ voting exactly none of us vote dude I shouldn't vote you should have vote leave it to the smart people we won't vote we won't vote the only people that do vote are senior citizens that care yeah let them vote yeah 18 year olds act like they care and then when voting day comes they're like stoned but senior changes only the last like three years anyway what the ████ they don't even last a presidential that's why it pisses me off because all the politicians have to campaign to them because they know they're the responsible ones that vote so nobody the rest of us aren't ████ voting nobody should vote dude this is the smart people should vote like who who would you classify for who's smart yeah but like occupation hey man I don't want doctors to ████ vote about Finance ████ because they're not smart about it out of all of our guests out of all of our guests that come by who do you think is like this person should vote
4:15 rats me honestly yeah dude uh I like him he's great joe recipe yes minority mindset yeah I like what's a mortgage men of course you do of course you do yeah other mortgage guys I mean they have their heads on right I think Shannon would be good well Bobby hundreds yeah Shannon Boudreau for sure I like Bobby he seems pretty Bobby hundred seems fair Andy would would be a good boss they're they're good Stevie weebie for sure ████ no wait wait wait wait wait wait wait we're talking about can't vote Stevie it depends on what policy if it's if it's the pornography how about chair smelling oh no no no
5:07 that's a that's a good platform to understand good platform one more give us one more vote on who can vote so up so who votes for that a guy shoved a car key up his penis see which which end first oh by the way these are the most popular was it the ████ these are the most popular things that got shoved up oh so it's like more than one instance type stuff this is like rankings a wooden spoon oh my God a male Filipino kind you can feel that one huh a nail kind of makes uh weird sense in this category of stuff yeah no that's the last you know what's appropriate sicko in here you know what's appropriate thinking about shoving remember I texted you thinking about it you he told me details about Kaka this is pretty crazy what are you talking about so I'm not in this group okay okay but I was showering and you guys know
5:58 how I like to like clean myself pretty good oh telescoper until I stick it in and then go like this and make sure you guys all know you like to hunt for the Red October yeah I like to clean it stick it in Twisted very good right this time I don't know how this happened but I stuck my finger in further than usual and it came here and I touched something oh and I'm like what though that's your G-spot I pulled my finger I felt the turkey and it was brown I'm like oh God you went to ████ touch ████ I didn't know ████ was that what did you expect to touch I thought I don't know I did not get this straight up ████ touch the other side of the toilet this is like one of those TMI levels inside of the toilet we're trying to sell ads here we're trying to sling ads it's like the upside down anyway episode of Sliders in your ass I touched it I touched it right and then I was
6:48 like oh ████ if it's like that close might as well get it out because no one picks their nose and they feel a buggering I'll leave it there it's true you go like this and you're like so did you go back to pick your butt so I went back in why did you guys so I went back okay I touched my ████ and then I try to pick it and it went that's like when they tried to rescue the Thai kids from the cave same ████ they just ran yeah deeper and then see taxi Joe and then this is why I'm in the process right now I've touched something I've never touched which is pre-laid eggs so I had it on my fingernail and I was like I have to I have to so I smelled it I'm like oh my God this was the craziest smell I've ever smelled in my life even worse than ████ and afterwards fart smells and I had to I
7:38 had to uh when I came out of the shower I had to tell someone because it was too much information then I was like hey babe I was like you said you wanted to know everything right oh my God this guy she goes what do you mean I was like she was already like I was like you said you want to be well I got to tell each other everything I tell you something but she also knows she doesn't like Girl Scout stuff and then she was like does that have anything to do with like disgusting ████ I was like yeah she was no I don't ████ know that's why I texted Joe I gotta tell him and I was dying that's the pre-laid eggs thing hmm yeah you you segued so fast I was like wait he got eggs in his ass and he has eggs in his you know womb we usually smell our eggs after it comes out oh you're talking about like develop the dog has a rotten egg stuck in his ████ and that just confirmed my theory but I touched that egg when it's still inside he has a rotten piece of
8:28 ████ that's lodged in his intestine so when it farts it passes through that which he probably finally smelled himself we all smelt it so bad ████ this nugget rolls like this I think that's what's that that's what happens this coffee rolls over huh it smelled The elusive so ████ bad demonic Glade in there or something oops like long time Legacy nugget evil swirls around it runs away so you just need an enema basically it's like it's like a barnacle stuck on the side of a ship it's like that Japanese soda with the Japanese the ramen day the marble yeah how come careful boys chat gets like your sock updates and not this yeah I don't know yeah I don't know if you guys want
9:19 anything about it yeah I wanna I would love to hear about that I highly recommend all of you guys try it and see if you could touch your own poop are you explicitly saying you highly recommend all of us finger our buttholes don't do anything no clean it but just because I didn't really think poop was that close to the edge I thought you said you can't even get penetration in your butthole because if anything gets close it squeezes up that's what you said right Anthony yeah you said no part you said you said if anything gets close you start drooling no I've been cleaning my ass for you no I mean it smells like you said that right Anthony oh me no I've been picking my ████ like that for a year in sexual Endeavors you're so uncontrollable you'll just get an instant divorce you said your instant divorce you said your dick starts drooling that's what you said that's what you said you said you you said you had to wear you said you'd wear a mouth guard for fear of cracking your teeth from grinding too hard
10:11 there's a lot of quotes we remember okay real quick vagina real quick vagina we'll get stuck in the vagina a coin what which coin a Sacagawea if you're a lady and you get other things stuck in your vagina that shouldn't be up in there that's a red flag hey you know the new quarters got a Asian lady on the back and it's and her name is Anime Wong nowhere anime I don't even know who that is who's anime Wong yeah no yeah okay get this one get this one this so this one's a quote this is what happened this is a quote from a doctor was holding a pen near her vagina when the cap dislodged and stuck inside yeah yeah oh yeah yeah for sure is it all sexual the stories are probably also she probably had the cap
11:01 on and then she was like ooh trying to be sexy put it up came out trying to be smart is it young I just want to know how old they are nail polish bottle oh my that's kind of young uh flashlight placed in vagina by patient at home but had no intention of it becoming stuck a whole flashlight maybe it was those Maglite maybe the idea of making that note like but I didn't intend for this it didn't intense to be fair if all of us were chicks with vaginas come on I'd be shoving all kinds of ████ in there yeah dude well we have a butthole you got stuff stuck in you already have an orifice yeah dude check it out try it out test it I'd be shoving ████ Coke Zero [Laughter] that's my favorite beverage Coke Zero
11:53 what else uh rectum okay so finally we got to the good part right rectum real quick plastic not part of that group a plastic toy fish the one that goes the best mouth yeah dude a small bird toy okay a silver magnet this one okay this is this says sent in by wife for possible 6 160 ounce or 16 ounce glass bottle and rectum dude 16 that's ████ big that's a lot is that a big goal this is 16 ounces that's a big boy ████ big and it's a glass it started with this end yeah oh Jesus some people are very talented piece of a lamp up his ass what piece that doesn't say I
12:45 assume like from Christmas Story what happened in the past before hospitals existed people just died with all kinds of weird stuff they're like this man passed what a toy train in his butthole man he could have ████ this obituary that's what this happened I had a bird toy shoved up well it probably comes out when you die because you void your bowels oh that's true yeah you know everything relaxes and things just come out like yeah with the murder weapon it doesn't come out in time Rigamortis could you believe it a crochet needle patient patience crochet me this one gotta be good okay and this one got me good patient State patient states he has a big toy stuck in rectum patient states he fell on top of it [Applause] has the best
13:36 she says big toys I mean what a Mario 64 butt stop jumps up flips he's like dude leaving your toys around he's like I'm never wearing a kilt again I'll tell you Adelia dude um okay had a few beers and then placed a long wax candle into his ass okay lost balance and fell onto a couch and lost all the candle yeah right yeah right these stories are so rich people ████ up their ass all the time those are oofy doofies actors like hey you know most of the emergency room ████ is just people sticking ████ up in their bodies dude you're gonna like this one you're like true says girlfriend put vibrator in
14:27 rectum while he was asleep oh yeah totally dude if you like ass play dude just let it happen okay she stuck it in but what if it's actually true and she was like that gaslighting him oh yeah yeah if that's a true story that's ████ we're not buying it though patient says he was playing with a container of athlete's foot spray it it accidentally ended up we're sensing a common theme and they're all accidentally playing I was just like I'm playing with this ████ bottle of happiness and this dude is at home like this bro he's like yeah yeah he's like I'm playing with this Ashley let's do a controlled experiment and see if it's possible to accidentally [Laughter]
15:20 I'm playing with like you know a windshield wiper I'm a damnedest ████ thing happens my pants just dropped I I find out shut the whole way up my ████ ████ my underwear gets down to my ankles and I fall and I'm like you don't use these new crutches yeah and all of a sudden Brandon I fall onto the ████ windshield wiper I've got to be kidding me yeah the sad thing is that none of these people are under oath and the person charting it just has to write what they say I know it must feel so stupid so good sad that's funny as ████ all right the guy was writing is like uh-huh yeah can you imagine on your way to the hospital you're so embarrassed you're just trying to think of a lie that seems real reasonable says was in the shower and fell and the shower stopper stucked up his ass
16:17 but the stopper though but what about all the gerbils ████ like if you get if you show up with a hamster in your butthole do you go oh I just crawled in there when I was sleeping that's what Richard Gere said right that's what Richard Gere said is that that's not true is it I thought it was like a it's 100 Factor had a gerbil crawl into his ████ no it's like a golf or something it's a it's one of those like passed around internet things and the name always changes like how Sierra was like yeah okay it just like changes Richard Drew had the Caddyshack groundhog up his ass the Caddyshack groundhog damn all right last one's two poker chips because of a bet that's it we're done okay that's good that's probably the realest one because of a bed that is poker chips [Music]
// end of tape