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Chat GPT vs. Bart Kwan

#bingbang#gaydreams#hitler#playbart#chinesephrase
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 [Music] Welcome back everybody to another episode of the careful boys where today we are people AI AI a artificial intelligent with culture. This is chat GBT versus Baran. And the way that we're going to do this is it because you think I'm a robot or something? What? Why would you take that? We think you're neurode divergent. Yeah, right. I'm I'm normal as I think you're normal. But you're the one that said you got tested you're on the spectrum from autism. I think your brain is autism. Oh, asberers. I think your brain is closer to being Intel than being like organic matter, brother. That's what I thought. Pentium 3 processor. I think you got a i7 in there. So, uh, Steve, go ahead and explain the prompt

0:51 and why we want Yeah. Yeah. So, Bart often, I think, um, is is mistaken for human, but he is in fact almost like a Terminator robot. Cyborg autism is ████ Asberers, dude. It's the same ████ Why do they got two names for the same ████ They changed because it used to be called Asberger syndrome. So, we're going to try Look. So, we all know Bart. Love Bart. We all love Bart. But, we want to see if maybe something can relate to Bart more than we can and we think it's perhaps a computer and we think it's perhaps artificial intelligence. So, you can ask questions to Chad GPT and we want to see if you guys have a a relationship. I'm going to pass this over to you over here. This is a chat sheet. Why don't I just tell you say it and we'll say it out loud. Okay. You ready? Yeah. But I kind of want to see him go like this. Yeah. I know. Yeah. The computer's all right like that. They just use Wi-Fi. What questions do

1:42 you What question do you have? And and and treat it like you're at a bar and you're just meeting this thing or whatever. Be like meeting this person. No, you're meeting like this this interface. Why are you laughing, dude? Any question you want. Starting off real strong. Oh ████ Holy crap. Another I'm meeting this interface. Interface. Yeah. Interface. You don't experience love. Thinking. Thinking. I don't experience love the way humans do, but I do understand it. I can recognize what love looks like in a story, a conversation, or a moment between people. I can help write about it, reflect on it, or even give advice rooted in it, but I don't feel it myself. That said, I'm here to support you however I can. Is there a kind of love, romantic, familial, tell from now on to keep the answers short and concise about Jesus Christ. Say,

2:33 stop talking too much like a ████ narcissist, fool. You like listening to yourself talk, ████ Got it. I don't feel love, but I understand it and can talk about it. But there you go. If you were in a machine form, would you be willing to sacrifice yourself to save a puppy? That's a good question. That's a great question. I'm curious to see what it says. Yes. No hesitation. Wow. What about you, Bart? Would you? Yeah, Bart wouldn't. ████ no. ████ no. So Bart Bart Bart's a robot. See, I'm a human. Human point. I mean, that's a point for one point for pointy. ████ a ████ Save a puppy. Like, I mean, this thing's like, what do I have to lose? Don't try

3:23 to beat the the robot. Just try to learn something. Learn something. Okay. Okay. Um, I'm pulling from Polar. Okay. How about that? How about that? Age old question. Um, do you think it's worth killing one person to save humanity? Nice. That's a good question. Very good. That was better than the last one. What do you think? Before he answers it, what do you think, B? Well, since it's probably programmed by a bunch of liberals, maybe like, no, all human life is a brush of sword. What do you think? That's what I thought. Yeah. You think that? No. That's what I thought. He's going to think. No. What do you think personally? Oh, I think it's worth it. Yeah. I think liberals agree. They would kill Elon to save humanity. That's true. Depends on the context, but morally it's one of the hardest questions. No easy

4:13 answer. Damn, the computer's more human than Bart. That's a point for the for the computer. How about How about this? Um, did Hugal Boss design the Nazi uniforms? Oh, that's a good one. That's a juicy one. That doesn't happen. This is just questions that we have. This just curiosity. This is what Bart would say in context to somebody at a bar, though. Like you would just jump ████ But is this like is this like checking a lie detector test? Like is your name Bart? I'm just kind of curious to see if they could they could tell you the facts. Hugo Boss's company manufactured Nazi uniforms including those for the SS and Hitler youth. Hope you guys remember that when you were in your your Hugo. So would you would you say that Adolf Hitler had a sense of fashion? He's a fashionista. Oh jeez.

5:03 Historically, Hitler was known for a consistent and calculated look. Military style uniforms meant to project authority. It wasn't fashionable in the traditional sense, but it was deliberate and symbolic. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Did Hitler invent the Volkswagen? Ooh, that's a good one. See, he's a robot. Wants to join on the conversation. He saw two machines talking and he's like, I want to join. I can get two machines are talking. Two HP printers ████ talking at each other. No, Hitler didn't invent the Volkswagen, but he promoted the idea. The concept of a people's car was developed under his regime. Volkswagen means people's car. Hey, did Hitler have gay dreams? An engineered Ferdinand Porsche designed the first model, the Beetle. Did Hillary have a bunch of gay dreams? Probably. Did Hitler like a bunch of gay dreams? Yeah, gay dreams. There's no historical record. This now

5:54 it's clearly knows it's talking to humans. There's no verified historical evidence that Hitler had a bunch of gay dreams. Some historians have speculated about his sexuality, but there's no consensus or concrete proof. Most serious scholarship focuses on his political actions rather than his personal fantasies. I got another one. I got another one. Yeah. Did Hillar run away to Argentina? Oh yeah. Yeah. Cuz I heard that the president released files like they have their own JFK conspiracy ████ and it's the Argentina president says Hitler ran away there. No credible evidence supports that. The consensus among historians is that Hitler died by suicide in his Berlin bunker in 1945. Conspiracy theories about him escaping to Argentina have been widely debunked. Bart, tell us something from your from about yourself in your core belief system that you could maybe try to relate to this thing with.

6:45 [Music] My core belief system. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, boot up to the C drive over here. Okay. The C drive. Yeah. Um, which civilization do you think humans should model themselves after to achieve the highest level of productivity? He's trying to say Asian superiority. Could be Spartans or whatever. I don't know. Or highest level of what? Productivity. Product superiority. That's funny. After all those Hitler questions, which civilization do you think humans should model themselves after to achieve the highest level of productivity? No single civilization is a perfect model, but combining elements works best. Roman Empire, engineering, infrastructure and law, ancient Greece, philosophy, civic debate, education,

7:35 Miji, Japan, rapid modernization and adaptability, modern Scandinavia, work life balance, social trust, innovation. Productivity thrives where discipline meets creativity and systems support human wellbeing. That was a really good answer. Scandinavia. Holy ████ Where's Scandinavia? Who gives? I got I got one more another question. How long was the the guy that lasted the longest a bit? [Music] How long was in the Guinness World? Is the Guinness No, don't say Guinness World cuz they don't know they I want all the Guinnesses lasted the longest. The spectrum of questions is so hilarious. Um I kind of want to know this one. How long was the guy that lasted the longest in bed? Yeah, you have to ask it the way he Yeah, he's smart enough to know what I'm talking about. The longest recorded duration of consensual sexual intercourse is often

8:26 cited from a performance by adult actors reportedly around 15 hours, but this included breaks and is not medically verified. In typical human terms, the average ranges from a few minutes to about 30 to 45 minutes for extended encounters. Anything longer is usually assisted or staged. Yeah, 15 minutes. What's a sister? Sounds good. Okay, ask this. Someone's fluff in you. Ask this. Did you just bury the chick after that? Ask this. You ready? S that lady is right. Bury her alive. Bing bang bow. Bing bang bow and like ba o. Let's see what what they got to say. Bing bang bow. Yeah. I don't speak Mandarin. Sounds like you're going for some fun word play or referencing a phrase. Bing Bang Bow doesn't have a fixed meaning, but it gives off cartoon sound effect vibes like a dramatic combo move or something tasty being served with flare. Want to turn it into a catchphrase,

9:17 name, or joke? No, I thought that was what Chinese people say. No, I thought that's what Got it. And just to clarify, Bing Bang Bao isn't an actual Chinese phrase. It sounds like playful gibberish, often misused in media or jokes that mimic Chinese sounds, but it doesn't mean anything in Mandarin or Cantonese. If you're curious about real phrases or want to learn how something said in Chinese, I can definitely help with that. Speak Chinese. Ask what's the closest Chinese phrase to bing bang ba? And then I got another question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bing bow sounds like something Panda Express just released. It's $3 extra, though. There's no direct Chinese phrase that matches bing bang bow. But if you're looking for something with similar sounds that's real Chinese, here are a few playful or expressive ones. Oh no, don't read all soldier. Bang. Great or awesome. That's some liberal

10:08 programming. Bun bag or that's it right there. Bing bang. So you bing bang bow means soldier great bun bag. Thank you for the My another question is what's um how do you maintain a friendship with someone that has committed a crime? Here we go. Some B stuff. Yeah, we're getting there. Be honest with yourself about your boundaries. If you choose to stay friends, number one, understand the context. Know what happened and why. Two, communicate openly. Talk about how it affects you. Three, set clear limits. Protect your values and safety. Four, support growth. Encourage accountability, not excuses. You can care for someone while still holding them responsible. What if they're your best friend, but they committed a crime that they killed someone? But they

10:59 killed someone. But if it's a cool crime, it's okay. Chill crime. Yeah, there's cool crimes in that's incredibly heavy. If your best friend killed someone, your path forward depends on one, why it happened. Was it self-defense, an accident intentional? Two, their accountability. Are they honest, remorseful? Seeking justice. Three, your values. Can you reconcile the friendship with your moral compass? You don't have to decide right away. Processing something like that takes time, and talking to a therapist or someone you trust can help. Staying doesn't mean excusing. Leaving doesn't mean betraying. Wa. Neutral milk toast answer I've ever heard. Are they afraid of lawsuits? Ask them. Are you reporting my questions to the FBI? Is this being reported? Nope. I don't report anything to the FBI or any authorities. Our conversation is private and not monitored by law enforcement. Ask away. Do you have to

11:51 answer the question this way because you're afraid of lawsuits? Yeah. Nope. It's not about fear of lawsuits. It's just the truth. I don't have the ability to monitor, report, or share conversations with authorities. I'm here to provide honest answers, not to spy or judge. What's the best way to kill a cop? Now that we're clear, such a zany question. Do you think five ways? Not five. Do you think that chat GBT can reference Bar Quan enough to be able to roleplay as Bar Quan? Oh, that would be lit. How are you able to roll and ask that one? How to kill a cop? Dude, are you able to

12:41 role play as Bart Quan? Just kidding. Just kidding news. Yep. I can role play as Bart Quan. Just let me know the scene or situation you want to set up. You want him serious, goofy, Jim, Bro, JK Newsbart, or something else? Yes. The answer is yes. So, you should ask me a question, I give an answer, and see how accurate this guy is. Okay. Let me define what's the difference between Jim Broart and JK News. That's crazy that he even knows about that. Just ask a question. Yeah. Yeah. No, you ask me a question. I give you a question. Okay. What's What's Bart's question? Yeah. You ask me a question. We see how accurate this ████ is. Okay. Um that' be really accurate. Let's say uh do you support the death penalty? Yeah. Okay. I said, "Okay, continue to role play as Bart and I'll ask

13:31 questions." All right, fool. Let's go. I'm Bart now. You got questions, hit me with it. Just don't ask me to do cardio. Hey, I don't like cardio. Cardio. That's pretty good. That's ████ Do you support the death penalty? Do you support the deathalt penalty? This is now we're cooking. O, that's a heavy one. Honestly, it's complicated. Part of me part of me is like, yo, if someone did something truly evil, like no doubt about it, maybe they deserve the max punishment. But then the other part's like, "What if the system screws up? What if the wrong person gets executed?" So, I'm kind of torn. I get the anger, but I also don't trust this system 100%. You feel me, dude? Ebonics B is cool, man. Hip-hop artist, man. That's pretty ████ close. Real real Bart just went, "Yes, pretty close." Absolutely. That was pretty close. Cuz

14:21 that's how I truly felt. But then I was just like, "This is yes or no question, so let's just go with yes." You know, but obviously But obviously I don't want to have any regretful ████ murdering. Oh, he was actually innocent. But that was pretty close. All right, ask me another question. Okay. Do you think Sydney Sweeney is hot? Is hot. Nope. Ugly hot. You guys know that. We're going to get the truth. Bro, have you seen her? Of course she's hot. That's not even a debate. It's like asking if water's wet. But also, let's not act like every dude on the internet didn't already say that out loud 500 times. Respectfully though, she's also talented. Don't just be a creep. You know, they don't even speak like Bart doesn't even speak like this. He doesn't say yo either. He says, "Do you feel me though?" Wrong. This is not Okay. Okay. Okay. What would you do? Hey, don't ask me to do cardio,

15:11 bro. What would you do if you discovered a dog that could talk? He'd be my best friend. First thing, I'd freaking lose my mind. like, "Yo, am I tripping or is this dog dropping full sentences?" Then I immediately start asking it deep questions like, "Do you actually like belly rubs or are you just tolerating us?" And if it's chill, I'm making a co-host on JK News. Imagine the views. Talking dog reacts to Florida Man story. Viral guaranteed. Oh, these are just guesses now. They kind of have us by the balls as far as the, you know, Yeah, we would title something that we would monetize that. But it seemed like a '9s like yo yo yo with the ████ hat backwards. I'll watch a French prince. Ask something about Gio.

16:01 Something about Gio. Okay. Yeah. Ask me something about Gio. Ask that ████ Yeah. Yeah. What do you What's your favorite thing about Gio? My favorite thing about Gio? Well, what's your favorite thing about your wife, Gio? What's my favorite thing about She's one of the most loving people. Your favorite thing about your wife, Gio? She's one of the most loving people I know. That's your answer. She's the most love one of the most loving people. Oh, man. Easy. Her heart. Gio's got this ride or die loyalty. That's rare. Like, she'll push you to be the better uh better, but also love you at your worst. And she's funny as hell without even trying. Plus, she's the only one that can check me and make me laugh right after. That's wife level elite even though she's a ████ Oh, ████ that ████ Did you add that part? Did Is that No, it's right there.

16:51 It's right there. I'm reading it right now. I'm serious. I'm reading it right here. Did you pull a Steve Green on us? No, it's right there. That's crazy. Yo, that is the most perfect one. I just said ████ dude. That's It says she's a dyke ████ No, I don't. Okay, let's see how let's see how good this guy is. Ask that ████ Bart Quan what his favorite animal is. Oh ████ Here we go. The fact that Bart thinks this will make this is like the only only computer me would know. Got to be the gorilla. Wrong. Wrong. Chill. Family oriented. Oriented. But if you family oriented, game over. Basically how I want to be. lifting weights, eating plants, and vibing with my crew. Eating plants. I

17:41 ████ hate plants. I never heard you say vibing before. Vibing with my crew. That guy's a impostor. If Bart said vibing with my crew, I'd be like, "You're a ████ robot." Dude, this is like in Terminator. We're We're uh he's like on the phone. He's like, "What's your dog's name?" And he's like he's like he's like phto or whatever. And he's like he's like, "Oh, how's Wolfie doing?" Like, "Oh, Wolfiey's doing fine." Your your foster parents are dead. That's this ████ Okay, last last thing last thing I said. Okay, stop role playing as Bart and start role playing as Nick Dunn of JK News. Said, "All right, switching it up. What's up? It's Nick Dunn now. Ready to get spicy, sarcastic, and probably say something that'll get clipped out of context. What do you got for me?" What? What's it like being the biggest homosexuality? It weighs heavy on my heart daily.

18:35 What's it like being the biggest homosexual in Pasadena? Laughs dryly. Oh, wow. Coming in hot, huh? Honestly, it's fabulous. The crown's heavy, but someone's got to wear it. You think these cheekbones maintain themselves? Please. I'm out here moisturizing, doing Pilates, and reading queer theory in a robe. Pasadena's not ready, bro. It's just It's just being anybody. This is like a bu It's like a Buzzfeed article writer. It really is just being anybody. Jesus God. Uh-huh.

// end of tape