0:00 [Music] are you guys ready for probably the weirdest I've ever read my life yep better be weird all right it's weird all right this person said I offered a friend a place to stay 2 and 1 half years ago and she was homeless oh no she just been freeloading she was supposed to stay for just a couple weeks okay that's how it starts uh instead she moved her then 18-year-old son in oh my God then disappeared after a couple months weird so he's just chilling there there yeah what the ████ her son was working with a case worker and said he was looking for a living situation uh this kid's name is Jack Jack is trans autistic and has OCD and a sleeping disorder he quits School in
0:51 seventh grade so he doesn't have much of an education to get a job time went on and for various reasons he couldn't get in any Housing Programs through the social worker so a year ago I told him he would have to find a place within a year that time has come up that's a long time to find a place that's very nice cuz he has been where's the mom she just ran away yeah just left Jack was just awarded disability but he hasn't received it yet uh I suspect that now he has disability income it will be easier for him to find something in the next couple months I ████ move out he has an ant he could live with but he doesn't want to because she lives in a different city well I'd leave him there and move out he doesn't want to live with his sister because he doesn't get along Ong with his sister's roommate he said he'd prefer to go to a shelter but still hasn't gone uh part of me feels like I should offer to let him stay for one or two more months to let him find something now he has some income but
1:43 I've developed so much resentment towards him because he's never offered to help out or do anything to pay rent come on that's kind of more angering for me is that I've struggled to even get him to do his part of kitchen chores like unload the dishwasher or take out the trash or replace the paper to role I also feel frustrated and resentful that Jack bugs me to drive in places that he could just take public transport to I know some of these things are related to his age and disabilities but it seems kind of ridiculous I think she ████ up from the beginning to someone that they should should I have to explain to someone that they should offer to help and not freeload is expecting him to offer ableist I think she ████ up from the beginning by not creating boundaries and rules yeah with the mom and then with him and then to expect politeness and
2:35 all these things from someone who's clearly not they don't know they don't have that common sense so why the ████ do you expect them to act like a person with common sense yeah did does this person own that place or are they renting too it doesn't say that's what I'm saying just move out yeah they're renting leave him out yeah and then he'd have to figure it out regardless dud that's the C what you said he was trans trans autistic has OCD and a sleeping disorder why is trans a part of the disability that's pretty funny it's not it's just it's just a list of stuff like not only is he dumb he's trans but like she definitely ████ up by not setting those boundaries at the beginning but like her intention was kindness and then like sometimes like life just randomly unfolds and then the
3:26 momentum yeah but I don't even know if it's taking advantage of okay if he's autistic right and clearly from a ████ up home with the mom that runs away from you you're you can't come at it with the same frame of mind of like I'm going to do this Goodwill and hope that they get it no dude it's not it's not the same like of of someone that's a equal you have to approach it as if like okay this is a fresh mind that's a child that you have to build up and if you're not ready to do it then you got to abandon it m but the mom but the mom took advantage of her yeah but the mom's nowhere to be found so it's not like you can really Rectify that anyways and plus he's 18 yeah he's an adult now regardless of I mean it's circumstances you know what it is it's one of those things where it's
4:16 like you're not you don't have to do it but are they wrong for abandoning something that isn't their responsibility well look at it this way if if you know you're the last person that this dude has let's say that like Jack if you kick him out or if you leave him is probably going to be homeless and just become a person of the street that's what you're going to have to live with is are you okay with living also too it's like they were also home they were homeless before and it's not like this Jack person doesn't have people she has this he or she sorry they have uh options they can go to your friend their sister the aunt but then their reason is like oh I don't like the roommate but it's like well that's what makes it sound like you know how there's homeless people that have that same thing where there are places they can go but they just don't want to so it almost seems like this is the last stop for this not
5:08 kid but like you know there's enough issues to keep this dude they're trying to write it out you know what I think it is it's like she probably was not understanding what it is like to let a homeless person come stay with you right so she goes I was trying to do something nice for his mom when you commit to something you can't do it in a way where it's perfect the way you imagined it to be so when you invite someone into your home to live with you from that point on I feel like you just opened up Pandora you're responsible for those other variables that come to play you can't just be like oh well I didn't know they were going to be a ████ dumbass well it's like well you invited you opened up that door and you didn't establish the the the the rules you didn't say you're only ████ staying here for 2 months if you don't get off your feet you're out let's say you're already in that situation how do you
5:58 explain it to a person that's uh autistic so when you're already if I was in this situation it's already happening um I I would try to talk to their casew worker too and have a game plan because they're I can't just throw it on them and say all right uh just be a responsible adult go handle your ████ why didn't you handle your ████ it's like okay well I want you out of my house but I also want to give you a high chance of success so let me talk to the casew worker and create a game plan on how to make that exit where I'm not throwing them into the streets cuz I'm already committed nasol if if this person's under my roof that to me I'm like well I already signed up for this ████ or one night I'll just pack everything up and run away yeah no I wouldn't do that I wouldn't do that yeah it's always on the table though I'd have
6:48 to figure something out because this person does mention that they live in one of the US's most dangerous cities I don't know if that helps oh ████ it's like a so it's called Los Angeles Chicago or something I I do I do agree though that like moving out is on the table if like that's not their house you know what I mean because at that point you're just kind of like uh you could even reach out not just to the caseworker but to the sister or to the whoever other options are and be like hey I'm moving out for my own reasons or whatever and uh just letting you know this is this guy's here I think so this person mentioned that uh cuz you know Jack wants to was saying that like would rather go to the shelter than live with his sister or live with his aunt to go to the shelter dude but the person who's writing this said I don't think Jack
7:39 understands what being in a men's shelter is really like especially if he's trans he's got you know he might be in there with the wrong people yeah I think this person also or he might find a love of his life true that's really good I think this person is also uh they're not what's the word that's good they're kind of like conflicted with what role they want to play cuz that thought is a parenting thought yeah so are you trying to parent him too so you need to figure out what your relationship is first are you landlord tenant are you mom's friend are you being you know like what is it going to be and then then stick to that Dynamic but then once you start allowing other thoughts of other like hats that you're wearing come in that's where you can't really make clear decisions ablest thing
8:30 throws me off too because it almost sounds like I think the trick is that is me trying to get him to do ████ en aist what's what's aist where you're like not respecting the fact that someone's disabled where you're like no come on do get get some ████ done but then they if they can't for if it's a cognitive reason whether it's like physical you know it just depends on how bad is a autism is cuz there's people that are completely functioning yeah there are and there are people who use that as a crutch but you know how like when you watch Love on the Spectrum there's some some of them even though they're all artistic some of them are just ████ too yeah on top of being artistic exactly we'll do they'll do great at a lab glasses girl yes I hate glasses Girl glasses girl love on the Spectrum love that show yeah it's like that it's it's
9:21 kind of like weird where you know how much of the disregard of chores is autism and how much of it's just you're being a dick and it's like sometimes people say things that they have and they may not have it so it's like that's always on the table though like for for you sagn exactly cuz nowadays dude you just don't know where people are coming from so like I could tell you that like I'm autistic and that's fine yeah I'm autistic is why my room's dirty or you're just a dirty ████ yeah and it's like those both could be true but yeah it could be both true put the paper towels back you know flip out I would have never let a ████ person come stay dude that's unless I knew yeah but it does sound like what Barb was saying like it is conflicting it's like are you going to be a parent then you should be ████ trying to like guide this person I don't know I don't know what the right answer isz cuz I think people have really big hearts in general they try to
10:12 they try to and then that's where it kind of ████ you because then you're like you're like being the mom when you actually should be like a landlord or whatever you know and try to but I think the the problem is a lot of people don't even know what it means to help someone out like they they have this imagination of like oh you just need a place to stay I got you Pursuit of Happiness and then they're going to have like live happily ever after but I'm like you never really dealt with people that are constantly making mistakes in life yeah over and over and over yeah yeah cuz sometimes kicking someone out of the house is like a kicking the ass that they might need to get their ████ together too yeah and then they're not strong enough to do the tough love stuff cuz that does that is hard CU like in story she's already made so many mistakes of like not only did
11:02 you let her in you let her extend the time that that was agreed upon on top of that you let her bring in her son you didn't establish anything so like a lot of people that are ████ up the reason why they ████ up is because they're nabl to ████ up no one's in their life like actually held their foot down and been like no I want you to be accountable um if we say 2 months you got to stick to the 2 months I need you to go get a job and if you don't these are the consequences like they don't live by that they just constantly do whatever the ████ they want and so I'm like well yeah it sounds like I have no heart but I'm the one that's actually lived amongst the like I know what the outcome is and when you know what the outcome is you wouldn't have this wishful thinking I think a lot of people
11:52 that you'd have more structure right yeah also also like the world presents itself to you in situations and it's an ████ to you a couple times I feel like you have the right to be an ████ every now and again to 100% cuz you got s for yourself you can't be a Marty either we're talking about this with like uh traffic in LA right and the way you drive it's like if you just follow the rules of traffic and you do that in La you're the bad driver cuz you stand cuz Everybody Breaks the Rules it's the same thing it's like in her situation it's like she's gotten some really unfortunate things happened to her it's not just about like always being and trying to do the the most right decision sometimes you kind of got to be an ████ in order to stand up for yourself otherwise you're always going to get walked over it's going to completely if she runs into another situation with somebody else or a future
12:42 friend who Who's down on their luck we can't have her just turn around and be like no I can't help nobody anymore because you got scarred by something too you just got to know how to not be an ████ but you know what I mean like have proper boundaries exactly cuz you got to protect yourself it's boundaries and um accountability
// end of tape