0:00 [Music] Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about the things that we enjoy that having kids would ruin. Ooh. Having kids would ruin? Yeah. Why don't you tell us as a father what has your son ruined, taken away? You used to have this, but now you don't. You'd be able to tell us. Uh, gaming, sleep. Making it too real too fast. Yeah, yeah. Let's look What's the most fun we did? What's like the most fun thing you lost? Gaming, sleep. Is he shaking in his chair? Yeah, this is more fun. This is more fun. tell us General. That's all you know that's the that's the sleep, no more
0:50 sleep. No more sleep now. I just go to I just go to bed and What accent is that? I wake up in 2 hour and then hour after hour. It is very hard for me. Very hard. I do my best to get some sleep. But I no get no sleep. My eyes are very tired and heavy. Uh I don't hear his Chinese anymore. No. Bro, I think I was trying to mix it with Chinese and Nigerian a little bit. Oh, that's not bad. That's not Okay, I can hear it. I can hear it. He's He's blazing. Sound like Trey Parker. Yeah. He's good. You know China and Japan are two separate countries. Hans Brix. Well, honestly the the the freedom of the freedom of just sitting down and turning on your PC and just playing
1:40 game. That freedom ofness is gone. Because also you don't want to put your kid in front of the monitor all day either. You know, so you don't want your kid to be a iPad boy. You want to just turn the kid around? I got a question. Have him face the wall? Because we were talking about this a little bit. Does it ruin how you feel about your pets once you have a kid? Oh, I've heard that. It does, man. Like you don't give a ████ about your dog anymore. explain. Yeah. Like, you know, obviously you you have to care, you know what I'm saying? Cuz you got to feed them, water them, and then walk them, you know what I'm saying? But at the end of the day you're just like, "F███, you're ████ annoying and you're such a burden." That's what it feels like now. It's just But you really are. But before that, was it like you're my dog, my baby? No, before that you're just like, "Oh, let's sit down, pet him." You're chilling. You're like, "Oh, I'm so grateful to feed you." Whatever. And now you kick him off the couch and say, "Get the ████
2:30 out of here." ████ that $100 instead of you know, diapers and milk it has to go to their food. Because we have I have two dogs and a cat. And the most annoying part is my ████ cat. IT'S JUST IT'S JUST IT'S JUST ALWAYS YELLING at me for food. I'm just like, "B████, you just ate an hour ago." Like I'm not going to feed you anymore. But it still It just stays next to me. I'm like It doesn't even stay next to me cuz it wants to be. It stays next to me cuz he wants to eat. Which is more annoying? You're just like, "Get the ████ away from me, dude." You spend a lot of money for pets. That's crazy. But then my cat is crazy cuz he's like, "Oh, you don't want to feed me?" Pees in the bathroom's carpet. "Oh, you don't want to give me water this instant? Let me drink out of the toilet." You're fancy, dude. Do you have carpet
3:20 on your toilet seat, too? On the towel. That's pretty fancy. It's the baby being born that is like priorities like shifted, huh? Yeah, cuz you you have to cuz you want to make sure the kid at least at that time is understanding and being aware that, you know what I mean? Like it's a specific way that my wife wanted. Like, I'm not going to have my ████ freedom anymore. No. No, I don't care about that. care about that. Not the freedom thing. I think it's the noise thing. You don't like babies crying? I don't like babies crying. Drives me absolutely ████ I don't think it's like just full on freedom. I think it's there's like levels to it. Like, for example, I'm used to traveling for weeks at a time and like stacking different gigs because I'm already like overseas or something. The idea of having a kid means like I can't do that. Even though I still have
4:10 to figure out the work part. Yeah. That's what it's going to be. That's what we're dealing with right now. It's really hard. It's even just scheduling. And then her working, you know, four days in a row and I'm with the kid four days in a row and I'm just like, "Okay. Come on, dog. Let me go out and do my thing." But I ain't got no thing. So I'm stuck here at home doing the thing, you know what I mean? It's just rough, dude. It It It I I feel like I'm getting the postpartum. What's going on, guys? It does happen, though. Yeah, postpartum for men does happen. This is real. I didn't know that. But I I can't complain cuz when it was born they went to Florida for 6 months straight. So I had six I had like damn near 6 months of freedom, you know what I'm saying? So when she comes back and I'm over here b███████ about 4 days,
5:00 that's not fair, you know? So I just That's a lot of self-awareness. Do you ever say, "But it's all relative if you think about it."? Yeah. You try that? Or in your mind Or in your mind are you like once once you're back for 6 months, at 7 months I'm going to say some ████ Well, she Well, that's the thing. She She actually said it to me and it just opened my mind. I didn't even complain or felt like I was attacked. She was just like, "Dude, because you're not with him in the beginning, you're impatient. You know, you get you get you get angry a lot faster and you're not used to the kid crying." So before like when the kid was crying I was just like looking at him like, "Yo, what the ████ Shut up." You know? But that's so mean, right? But it's it was so real. I was just like, "Yo, why are you ████ crying like that?" Like yo, that's a high pitched cry. But my wife was just like checking me like, "Babe, what the ████ is wrong with
5:50 you, dude? It's a kid." He wasn't asked to be here. Now we got to take care of it. I was like, "All right, bet." And he snapped out of it. Now I'm just like, "Oh, come here. Why are you crying like that? Come here." That's another one, too. It's like I I hear people be shaking the ████ out of their baby cuz they just snapped. Cuz it's like the stress, bro. It's a stressful situation. with something happening to my baby cuz of me. Every person that I know like they're like, "Yo, the the scariest ████ and the weirdest ████ is how much the doctor will tell you like don't shake the baby." Oh, yeah. Cuz everybody I guess not everybody, a lot of people do it. Cuz they just like lo- lose sleep. They don't you know, they're just like You're tired. "F██████ shut the ████ up." Cuz General tech support-wise, we just shake stuff. It's like my TV's ████ up. Yeah, that's true. Tech support-wise. Blow the blow the Nintendo
6:41 card. It's working. We're good. [Music] That's If you guys are having kids, get ready for that. that feeling? Not that you want to do it, but like do you have that equivalent of like wanting to shake your baby? Not like wanting to shake that baby cuz there's so much stories of shaking baby dying. But the feeling that those same people must have had. Yeah, just I knew I know what that feeling is and it's it's dark. Cuz you're just like, "F███." It's crazy cuz you're thinking about it, dude. For such a temporary second, all you have to do is pick him up and the crying would stop. You're willing to shake your baby to stop. Like that's that's stupid. It's crazy how humans survived this long. Cuz like I'm sure cavemen were like, "Woah, woah, shut the ████ up." Yeah. And then like, "Oh, ████ Don't do that, actually. Ooh, yeah, don't do that." "Shut that b████."
7:31 "Hey, we learned that from Oogabooga, though." Thanks, Oogabooga. He wrote it down for us. Look. "Shut the ████ up." Oogabooga no no don't do. Yeah, don't don't do it, Oogabooga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now we know. Fragile little flesh bag just ████ wailing. That's like, "Hey, maybe feed the baby like these berries that grow on this on this bush." And then they're like, "Okay, yeah. Oogabooga, thanks Oogabooga. Look good looking out." Yeah, don't do that one. Yeah, dude. You can't just do whatever you want. No, yeah. You just cannot. Like Like what? Like You want to be on the YouTube and you wish your kid is just watching YouTube with you, but he bored. So what does he want to do? He wants to be on the ground playing with jingle bell toys and you're just like,
8:21 "Oh, it's so fun." You're staring at it like, "F███, this is boring." It gets boring pretty quick. But you just have to Jingle bell toys. You have to put him on the ground cuz you need it he needs to start moving. Tummy time. come you can't have that ████ playpen ████ and just let them run wild? Cuz he can't run right now. That's the That's what we're trying to do. Yeah, yeah. But like the Does it Is it dangerous or some ████ Well, you just never know, right? Like they might eat a pillow or something. Are they on like Do they Could they accidentally bite a toy and then it rips off and you're choking? You know what I'm saying? You have to have four eyes on them. There's a lot of things you can get scared about and worry. Right, right. And then dude It's amazing how humans are alive, dude. I know, dude. You know? Just got to let them figure it out. These people Oh, they they always
9:11 say it's easy because they have who? They have easy cuz they have somebody ████ getting pregnant and popping the baby out and then they have a staff taking care of the baby. Right away. And they hire a mess of you ████ They hire Yeah, a house a nanny. I would do that ████ I'd be like I'll pick them up when they're 6. Once they start talking I'll hang out with them or something. Yeah, dude. It's It's Just make sure they keep on sending photos of me and then know that I'm there. Indoctrinate the ████ out of this kid. Tell them how great I am. To have two? Yo, I'd lose my ████ Yeah, two at the same time? Same time. Huh? Are you one and done? No, we want another one, but right now, yo, we can't even We got to handle it. We got to make sure this ████ can walk and talk. But it's rough. It's rough. But it's beautiful.
10:01 Yes, sir. It's It's worth the trade-off. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Who's next in line? Yeah, who's next? Who's about to ████ cream pie? Dude, cream pie all day. Come on, dude. I bet Nick. Yeah, probably probably in the next year or two. Wow. But we'll see. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Yeah. Yeah, like in my ovulation window, if I feel ready for it, I will do it. It's out of the most. It's out of the most and well, I'll probably be hiring a doula to take care of me throughout the A doula to take care of you? Take care of you? I'm doing a home delivery. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to do it natural, dude. I heard you're going to get a wet nurse too for yourself? You said what? A wet nurse for yourself? So you can suck on some titties? Yeah, we have a nice bath set up. It's a whole plan. We're ready to go. The blow-up bath? Yeah. Dude, doulas are great for childbirth. What what's going to change for you you think? That Have you imagined it? You
10:51 know, I think for me like when and I was really thinking about like how do I like to spend my time the most? And it's probably some combination of just like training at the gym and then Gone. being able to Yeah. And then being able to do being able to do stuff like this, yeah. Like being But it is true though. Like I I honestly just having two dogs at home has changed thing like my priorities and things I have to do. And then I extrapolate that to like imagine having a kid. Like I'm I'm going to I'm going to have to be able to work less. Yep. I'll probably have to be more efficient with everything I do for work. Hello, efficient. I probably won't be able to like it'll probably be like Bart's schedule, dude. Like this ████ is he has to work out like really early in the morning and then the rest of his day You have to, bro. is all dealt with the kid, you know? So I'm like, dude, I I would imagine it would be some combination like that. I wouldn't
11:42 But I think but I think it's like just watching shows. From what I hear with my friends too, it kind of happens in stages, right? Obviously when you first have a newborn, the hours are just real tough. Right. And like you just got to get through that hard part and then maybe you get some free time in the next 2 years or so. it gets hard and it gets harder and even harder, bro. I don't think I'm ready to have kids. You got to stop sugarcoating this ████ Tell tell me what it really is, bro. Well, it's it's hard. It's ████ hard, dog. I'm telling you it's hard. Yeah. Like I don't care. Is the biggest challenge for you just getting a lack of sleep? Is that what it is? ████ everything else up? Let's be realistic. It's it's If you had a grandparents down the street 30 20 minutes, boom. Drop them off. Cake. I think that's why it's so hard on people too cuz how isolated everyone is.
12:32 Yeah. Like people used to live closer to friends and then like like you were a part of communities, churches, and things like that. And then you had like I remember growing up and they would just they would always be kids and then I'll just be thrown at like a house and there's like 10 kids there. And then so like there's like two or three moms or whatever just chilling. And everyone else is like doing something else. Yeah. But we don't have that no more. Like everyone's just like isolated. Yeah. Dude, and it's it's crazy cuz my mom literally tells me she can't help me sometimes. Your boomer ████ parents are the worst, dude. They don't they're not ████ doing ████ No, she goes, you know where we you know where we live? I was like, yeah, LA. Exactly. I need to work. Stupid. I can't take days off. And I'm like Yeah, she got her own restaurant and ████ I'm like, this is ████ That's for sure. Real as ████
13:22 a that's a legit excuse. There's a lot of people that have time and they're like you know what? I'm not going to spend my time serving other people. I'm going to I'm going to live my life. And it's like, man, ████ you. You didn't take care of me. Grandma did. And then on top of that, now that I have a kid, you still don't take care of the kid. So it's like that's boomer parents, dude. Oh, I see it. Looking at that way, I get it. They take care of me majority of the time. Dude, there's also the opposite. My mom right now is available as hell, but she way too annoying. So like Yeah, so she like made made ████ difficult for my sister raising her kids. So now like my sister had to put ████ rules on her ass. Like don't don't parent my situation. Yeah. In what way? Just the showing up unexpected, but like you know, backseat parenting and making ████ like you do this and then now you're judging like my brother-in-law and my brother like, dude, like I didn't I didn't you're adding stress to my
14:13 life. Asian ████ for real. Instead of just taking it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel it, bro. I could definitely see that happening. And then and then when like the when the two grandmas are there, you know, at different at conflicting times. Yeah. She just whack. Damn. And they're fighting for the kids. So now they have to schedule the ████ grandmas to visit at different times. But then when you still show up unannounced, you're like, oh, I just happened to be in the area. No, you didn't. You live ████ 25 minutes away. Like Okay. want to come see you, though. That see that part, I don't know, man. You just got to have a real structured family and ████ to even have Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it blows up pretty fast, too, brother. Cuz like my sister had kids and then like my parents got involved with like helping to helping out with all that stuff. And like my mom drives my sister ████ bananas. That's what I'm saying. And and my
15:03 sister drives my mom bananas because she doesn't listen to her and it's back and forth. Yeah, that's a whole 'nother dynamic. Then I'm like, I don't know if I'm ready for that. They got different parenting ways, right? They're like My my parents are refugees from the war. They like had you know, had to stay with their ████ brothers and sisters like 12 of them in a small apartment. They just got a different way of raising kids. So then they're looking at us like, dude, you're babying them too much. You care too much. What time they have to ████ blah blah blah. It's like, dude, it's different. This is my kid, dude. There's just studies and ████ There's new information out. My mom is like, Steven, they have the kids on the screens. They're on the screens all the time. And I'm like, Mom, that's how it is now. Everybody's like that now. But there's no getting it through to her at all. And by the way, I don't think she's completely dead wrong, either. I'm not like, oh Mom, you're completely wrong and she's right. I'm just like, man, this is just like
15:53 constant conflict. Yep. And there's probably bags that they didn't deal with, either. So then it's just I'm sure. I have like some like you know how Hawaii's like got big-ass families, right? And then there's some that are just like they're I haven't really seen this, but it's like they're functional, they're big. And I'm like, how do you guys like maintain a big family without the major drama and ████ like that. But a lot of these families, they like have rules. Like where there's like a organized committee of like the elders and ████ And then they ████ hold court and then they do all this stuff and I'm like, ████ dude, that's some organized ████ Cuz like you know, and then they just have these big-ass parties and groups and get-togethers and I'm like, I kind of really think that's so cool. Because
16:44 Yeah, cuz there's going to be issues, right? But then they work it all out and then they figure out how to like maintain and sustain and do all that. And I'm like, dude, I don't know how they do it, but they do it. It's a rare breed, I'm sure. Huh? Sure it's rare. Cuz I feel like most people It probably takes hell of work, you know. Cuz anything where there's a group of people, there's bound to be drama. There's bound to be arguments, whatever. But it's like how do you I mean, every family has to deal with this, but then like the big ones, it's probably worse. Yeah. But they they seem happier because of how like they all like can take care of each other and they don't annoy each other in the same way. But I for me, most of the people around me, they're like, man, I can't ████ stand my parents. They're like crazy. I'd rather not have them around. That's some local broad ass stuff though, I think. I think it's a Hawaiian culture thing. Barney's family got it handled, though.
17:35 Yeah, he told me, too. The way that they do it. The way they got it going and the way Dude, well, the dad, you know, they got what I mean, you know, they're well off, you know what I'm saying? So the mom if the mom has to, she doesn't have to work. She stays home and she take cares of all the kids in the big-ass house, big playpen. They all get along with each other. It's set. But not only are they well they're organized. Like there's a there's a there's a structure. Everyone follows the rules. They get together. And then they genuinely seem like they all love each other. And like there's not like they hash out issues. And I think that's the key is like you guys got to ████ hash ████ out and then, you know, move on or whatever. But he's about to crack pop out a baby. He's about to pop out Yeah, he's about to pop it out of his butt hole. It's good news. Cool. Cool.
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