0:00 [Music] Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. I was thinking about breakups and I wanted to know what makes a good breakup. You know when someone says, "We broke up but it was a good breakup." When you win, you got to win. You got to win the breakup. How do you win the breakup? Uh you write a movie and you sell it to um Netflix and then it comes out on Netflix and then you're in the movie and she's not. Oh, that's a W. So, he won the breakup. Is that how your breakup went? It's pretty good. It's pretty close. You write her out of the movie. Pretty close. You wrote her out of the film. She was never going to be in the film unless she stayed with me. So, yeah, she's out of the movie. She's He writes movies. He writes movies. Oh, it's a series. A couple.
0:50 I sold like I don't know, seven movies. Is that a lot? Six or seven? You said six or seven, but probably seven. To be honest, to be honest, well, one's just a script. So, so she was never going to be in the movie anyway. Hell no. There's no role for her. They're going to cut her scene anyway. But you broke up in the middle of pre-production. She wasn't wanting ████ That's not the one. Oh, she was like That was in the improv improv days. Okay. All right. Well, at the audition for the movie, she didn't want it. No, it was crazy. So, this was like two scum days, right? We broke up and then like I went on to do a movie. I think I won the breakup from that move alone. Him and his So him and his ex were like tubers come together YouTubers that people knew of like as a pair. Okay. They were actual like famous and he would go to VidCon and sign autographs and loved it.
1:40 And then she didn't want to give him a ████ so he wrote her out of a script. Damn. People watch. He knows what he wants. That's not what happened. And if it's being withheld from you, you got to leave. But that was a public breakup because everybody knew that you guys broke up. I might not be talking about that one. I might not be talking about that breakup. So, just so you know, we're talking about the one who didn't give ████ right? No. Jeez. That was my my improv days. Oh. Oh, yeah. Different era. Different time. This Netflix days. That's also a real person. You couldn't trick her. Yeah. Yeah. No, she was like kept making excuses as to why she doesn't get ████ And I was like, I'm ████ out of here, brother. I was like, it's so easy though. What? What's so easy? It's so easy to trick an improv person to give you a ████ You just act like it's a prop. You be like, here's the suggestion. Don't be tricking people into giving ████ Wait, what do you mean we can't trick people that? This is America.
2:31 It's called marketing. Yeah. Wait, so what was one of the excuses? Um I remember her telling me that she like she felt um pressured. No, she felt like her she said that her gum she said her gums were sensitive and I was like this probably isn't going to work. Her gums. What if she had gingivitis? I don't know, brother. Do you have hard bristles? Hey, that is the thing though. You're supposed to You're not supposed to brush too hard. I don't believe so. Have you checked your bristles? I don't believe so. If you brush your teeth too hard, you will get rid of the gums. She had soft gums. Thank you, doctor. That's what she told me, dude. I don't know. That sounds like some ████ I feel you, Steve. I think she's right. I think you should be more empathetic. No, I feel you. There was a girl, she was like, I can't give head. I'm like, why? I have herpes. And I was like, ████ Yeah, get on that, ████ Get on it. Hey, get Hey, you know what has herpes? My dick. Get on it, ████ I was like, yeah, right. When's dad stop
3:22 people from sucking? Yeah. Never stop my dad. Yeah. That's what I say. E. That's my motto. Steve Green motto. You didn't ask for a doctor's note. Yeah, I know. I should have. I should have. I should have been like, I think you're ████ Sensitive gums. By the way, it's not like I told her that. You think I told her that? You think I was like, "Hey, because you have this, I'm not we're not going to be together." I never told her that ████ I just made up some ████ No, I made up some ████ It's believable. I made up some ████ about how I'm like not ready. That same girl doesn't know that that's the reason why you No. Hell no. Why would I tell her that? That's insane. I wonder what what did you tell her? Like it's cuz of your bell bottoms blow drops. I said I'm still in love with my ex. See you later. Bye. Oh, cuz she gave head and not you. Legit. No, I started cheating on her with my ex pretty quick. Cuz my ex wasn't doing the blow sex. And your ex had hard gums.
4:12 You know what I mean? She had some real hard gums. Had braces when she was a kid, so she knew she she had stronger teeth. I think it's a fact. It's getting weird. My truth is weird. So So is that a good breakup? Like you you know what's a good breakup? Lying about the real reason to get No, lying is lying. I don't know. I don't know what's a good breakup. It's more polite. It's polite. Yeah, I agree. Actually, if you're for sure not going to be with that person and telling them like a truth like that is just going to have them walk away more in more pain, I think there's a conversation there. You know what I If you if you mean on getting back with him eventually after some version of growth, then like for sure the truth. Oh, so you don't seal the deal like that? No, I'm saying if you We got Glenda. Glenda looks upset. I'm saying if you know that there's no chance in hell you're going to get back together, I don't think it's necessary
5:02 to tell him something. It's going to hurt him even more while you walk away. Why put salt in the gums? Yeah. By the way, thank you. I do think maybe perhaps scumbag moved because maybe she could have used the note but the note is just so crazy that I couldn't pull it off. You can't say that like hey like so cuz you don't suck dick. You should write her a letter. Thanks a lot for everything. See you later. You should put those diamond testers on her mouth and freaking that beep when the stunt the density is a certain thing. Or get a stud finder. Looks like you got a pretty good mouth to me. That's what you said. Get a stud finder. Go across her face with it. Oh it is pretty thick. Oh wow. Just bring a dentist homie over and be like, "Does she really have gingivit?" Get a dentist homie to spy on her mouth. Oh, that's really good. Yeah. Get her to say, "You liar." to say vowels and then have him like really confront her. No, sit her down. She comes home from from her job and you're
5:52 already sitting down. You're like, "Have a seat. Talk." Yeah. And she's holding a pizza. Why are you wearing a seat? She's like, "Can I just take a bite first?" She's holding a pizza. She's got three Blockbuster videos on top of it. She's excited for the night ahead. And if you ████ throw that on her. Well, then have any of you guys ever had a good breakup that you could honestly be like that was a good breakup? Like is it like Oh, like we have to define what it is. The original question. I think a good breakup even. Hey, we got to ask Anthony. I bet Anthony has a lot of good. I feel like I have good breakups. Okay. What happened? What happened in it? I would like to ask the other parties. Oh, I'm still friends with them. You could. I think that defines a good break. You sound a little different. I swear I'm friends with them. I'm
6:42 really good friends. You're prosecuting. Nina's like, "Wow, why'd you call all your exes today?" That's crazy. You got to respect the promise. Yo, he gets home. She's all friends with all of them. Tries to answer prompt question. Gets in trouble. Yep. Yep. Yep. Going down. Careful, brother. Be careful. What's What happened? My last ex-girlfriend gave us tickets to Cir got us tickets to Cir so me and Nina could watch. Like I'm amicable enough with all of them. That like we're we're still in like a You don't know if that was a play though. You don't know. She has a kid now too. You don't know, dude. She's playing a long game play, brother. She's like 60. People are like, "You think that was a play?" Nina thinking, "Do you think that was a play when she gave you guys the tickets?" She's like, like can someone go to the bathroom? Hey, real quick. Do you think that was a
7:32 play? What's the angle? 15 years from late coming back. It's the long game. See, you have fun. I mean, I'm going to ask Joe what's a good breakup. You marry me next. Hey, one of the goat breakups was in my living room between you and your ex. Legit award awardwinning. He broke he broke up with this girl in his house. In my living room. Oh my god. Wait, who? What? What? You know, I like how sometimes Rayu and Ken can fight in Blanca stage like that. Round one, fight. So, you brokered the deal. Which ex-girlfriend? The lawsuit one or the one? Finder speed right there, dude. Pay this man out to go to his house to break up with her. I got to do it on neutral territory. I have nice carpet. Can I go to your house? He's like, I really want to drive to Van Eyes. No, that's not what happened. I better go and ████ break up under.
8:24 But then how did you how do you assist in someone else's breakup? It was just like, hey, you guys realize you're not happy together, right? And like it was just a slow Yeah. It was like a two and a half hours of like you guys aren't happy together. So she's been calling you a That's so weird. That's way weird to your house. It was actually tight because like they're both are really good friends. How long has she been calling you a poo? And it wasn't this Dr. Philly ████ either. It was just more like like they did most of the talking. I would hope so. Oh, well yeah. I mean he's like let me say something real quick. Yeah. I would go like this. I'll step ████ No, no. Oh ████ Sorry. Cut that, please. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. At 8 22.
9:14 Yeah. I didn't know. Anyways, both gems both have a way better lives now. Both moving on to better lives. How did you know when it was time to come back in and go, "So, that's it." Or how'd you know? You want to make this deal? How' you or did you come in to be like, "Hey, I I feel like you're a little loud and you need to give him more time." They did most of the talking. We were just there as friends. That's it. Steve just had an hourglass and he would just turn it over. They were really good at translating because I think we both We both No, we both see we both saw things so differently. Yes. That like Nikki like I think understood like my point of view too and Steve and then and then vice versa. So then like I would say something and then maybe it's taken out of context and it's like it's like turning into a fight maybe and then they would just be like no that's not what Joe was saying
10:04 he was saying like what and then Steve would be like what he's saying is I didn't understand that about you. Yeah. It's like when the boxers start hugging and you got to get the Yeah. They like they kind of um was like they did a good job mediating cuz they weren't like nudging like this is what you should do or like anything like that. And it was like, "What's going on?" Like, as concerned friends and we're just talking and they're like, "Oh, that's what's happening." And then it's like, and then they'll and then maybe like I'll misunderstand what she says. And they're like, "No, that's not what she means." Or like whatever. And that's where we It's not like we sat him down, hey, guess what? You guys aren't happy together. It's time to break up. It was more like they're talking. The more they're talking, it's like, "Sounds like you guys just aren't into this that much." Like it was just like peeling back the layers until we could all see it together. Personal time cuz he had to get the popcorn out of the microwave. Yeah. And then we had dancers. Does comedy fit? Oh yeah. Can I get a suggestion real quick? To break the ice. We got Steve Green.
10:56 Great. There was an intermission like a bathroom break. So while we're going, he came out and started juggling and like doing an improv show. And then you guys still broke up. Oh yeah. Yeah. Mostly because of the improv show. The improv show is what broke him up. It gave him time to think. Yeah. So would you consider that a good breakup compared to other breakups you might have had? I guess if you consider a breakup being amicable. Yeah. Yeah. What I said at the like 2 minute mark. I know, but no one's listening. Really? Nobody's listening. No one's listening. Oh, yeah. Subscribe. Subscribe to our Patreon. That's what I said. No one's listening. Wait. I Every time I see you back there, I love it. Love that. Hey guys, amicable breakups are good breakups. No, ████ that, dude. A good one is when you win in spite. No, look. Look, I
11:46 think it's also a good track. I think it's also good when the parties can walk away and when they're explaining to their friends what happened or why they broke up, both people know how the other person feel cuz a lot of times I think it's like when somebody walks away and there's no no clear closure or explanation. It's like I don't know why. I feel like that usually isn't a good breakup. But even if things are difficult and it like really really sucked, but like you can explain the other person's reasoning or whatever, I think that at least is a good break because you can walk away from it. Did you ever have a breakup where you don't know what happened? You walked away and you were like, "What the ████ was that?" Um, no. You always No, not one. I've always known. I've always known. You always knew. You always knew you're going to win. Have you had No. Have you had breakups where the other guy didn't get it?
12:36 Like you knew, but he's like he just doesn't accept and get it. So there's still a chance. They always knew, but that didn't mean that they would give up. But they always knew why. I was pretty vocal. Oh, okay. So, how many breakups did you win? I don't How do you classify winning when it's one-sided? When it's a mamba mentality is like 70 skunk. You know what I mean? Mamba mentality, bro. Don't bring Kobe into this. She loves She's a hardcore Kobe fan, by the way. So, so are we. Hey, mama mentality, man. But there's a me in that ████ That's right. Are you the type that like you catch wind that is about to break up and you just do ████ this and then you you do the preemptive strike and then you just break up with them before they can break up with you. That's so immature and such a joke. Oh, that's immature. Yeah. Such a joke
13:26 thing to say. Dang, dude. She keeps calling Joe out and I kind of love it. She's like, "Joe, you talk a lot." That's not wrong. You got a talking problem. I did not say it was a problem. You implied it. You won't hear it. Watch the last video. You'll know. Can Can I ask how many breakups you have gone through? How many titles have you won? How many titles? I've had Let me see. One, two, three, maybe four. Can I ask when you're searching for porn, what do you usually, you know, as a rebound? As a as a take some questions from the audience. I had to tag it. I had to tag it. It was right there. It was right there. Is this BlizzCon? We're at We're at Blizzard Con. It was right there. Anybody just want to ask anything at
14:17 all? Go for it. Yeah. When you uh Four Breakups is pretty That's low for Do you like Pornhub or XNXs or That's low. I think that's low for for uh Cambodians. Yeah, they're usually like high body count. They're usually really high body count. It makes no sense. Yeah, they're they're they're usually the freaks of Southeast Asia. Body count and relationships are two different things. That's true. I learned what body count was. Your body count doesn't match your relationship number. Okay. Seventh Day Adventist. What the hell? You've eaten pork. Have you guys ever seen this video? of like this like guy who's one of those guys is on the beach, you know, or whatever on a boardwalk and he's talking to guys. He's like, "Hey, what's your body count?" And this old Italian guy's like, "I don't know, like 17." And then the guy's like, "What?" Like,
15:07 "Oh, wow. 17." He's like, "Yeah, like plug probably 17 people." Yeah. He's like ████ talking about killing people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought body count was. Yeah, it is. But then now to a mobster only dangerous. Yeah. I don't know. Is he a virgin? That'd be pretty interesting. He's a virgin murderer. He started crying. He's known sex. He's Oh, nothing. What do you think I am, a piece of ████ I'm not married yet. That's the Taliban. I haven't found the one. I'm willing and waiting. What do you want from me? That's the Taliban. Oo, dude. Jeez, that's real. What kind of agreement did you guys? We're going to We're going to write a movie about a virgin killer who kills virgins. A virgin killer who also kills virgins. the virgin murderer. What does he have against virgins?
15:57 Virgin only. Why? Because So then he has to kill himself. He hates himself. That's why. Duh. Like every killer is. You guys aren't deep like we are. Uh yeah, we're supposed to find that out on season six. Yeah. What the hell? What the hell? We're going to retool it. We're going to re have six seasons. Retool it. We're retooling. So out of four breakups, how many were good breakups, do you think? What's your ratio? What's your KD with that? None of them were good. What makes a bad breakup? when they cheat on you. Oh, that's forgot about that. Yeah, but that's you four times. No, two of them. Two of them. Two of them. I was like, what do you think you were doing to make them cheat? What could What? What stores in the mall should you have shopped at instead?
16:48 What kind of gifts did you think you could have brought them? Any other any other dance styles that would have worked better than just ballet? That's great to be a victim blamer. That's the best. You would light up. You bring joy to my life. Have Have any of you guys had a breakup that resulted from infidelity? No. So, what how does that breakup go? Like, is that just like is it ragefilled? Are people throwing things? You say, "I know you were ████ that b████." You say, "Yeah." Yeah. Yeah. So honestly for me it takes it actually takes a lot for me to walk away. So it was pretty hard for me historically. Craig David I love him. Um but once I find out about cheating it's a very quick see you later and they're on the blacklist that I never talk to them again. Bye. It's
17:38 actually makes it easier for me. You get over it instantly. Yeah. There's no turning back after that. What's worse physical cheating or emotional cheating? I mean I think they're both bad but emotional goes deeper I would say. But I would I think both both finish the uh complete the relationship. Spiritual cheating. Oh, you beat me to it, dude. Like if they decide to have faith in a different god than you. Yeah. Then then you crucify them. Oh, spiritual cheating. Spiritual cheating. Wait, what's the question? Like now they're way more into LeBron than Kobe. Like what happens if they spiritually you got together under Kobe? Yeah. They think LeBron is way better than Kobe. LeBron had a lot of respect for Kobe, though. All right. They think D shrimp is better than Kobe. What? Who? Not a basketball player. He's a He was a Seal SuperSonics in the 90s. You're You're losing me. You're losing me. The only NBA play. It's the only Seattle Super.
18:28 Well, no one cares about So emotional cheating is worse if they didn't physically do anything, but they fell in love with somebody. I would think penetration's worse, maybe. But the But that's guys, but penetration of the heart is much deeper. I don't think that's true. They're They're both bad. Yeah, they're both bad. No, no, no. But we need to know what's worse so that we know which one's like less. Do none of them. Girls are okay with guys. They'll more They're more forgiving with guys ████ ████ but not falling in love with another woman. True. Like if you discovered u if you discovered emails where he fell in love with someone online, like they never even touched each other before. Psychologically, that'd be so hard to get over. Yeah. I feel like But if your man just went out and like had a one night stand, you're like, "It's okay." I would not say it's okay. You'll be like, "That's all right." What if he's a Japanese? That's all right. What if he's a Japanese businessman?
19:18 What What if it was a scenario where like you found out this guy was cheating on you, but then afterwards he was like, "Babe, like come on." Like those people weren't even like people. Don't call me babe. That's Oh, okay. That's worse than cheating. That's worse than cheating. But he was like, "Yo, she was like a ████ thy bag. He got ruied." What if the guy gets roofied? Yeah. Yeah. Rofied. Um I I don't know. That's different. That's too complicated. He was in Colia. He got drugged. And you say that's too complicated. They're they're a victim. You're a victim. We called the dragon's breath. That's the the I can't believe my dick got that hard. I thought I was passed out. Yeah. Wow. My friend's dad ████ a hooker in Shanghai and then his uh my friend's mom found a hooker I mean a condom in his pocket and then he had the best excuse ever. He was like, "I was so drunk and she was in the lobby and then she had a really slow night so like I had to give
20:09 her some work." What? That was a real excuse? cuz he felt bad. He's a good guy. That's a good like you were like I'm creating jobs, brother. Yep. Pick that up. Genders need to need work, brother. But it was like you could have just gave her money. You didn't have to ████ her. Oh yeah. But she wanted Yo, she wanted her. That is that is on the table. But like he doesn't want to disrespect her, you know, the integrity of the work. Yeah. Oh, the it's integrity. She has to carry out her profession. I can't give her a freebie. Like what what kind of work ethic am I teaching her? Yeah. Teacher. Am we going to teach her a fish or are we going to show her? Show her dad. You don't get to teach her anything. Daddy daughter dates. Do you believe in those? That's 18 minutes.
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