0:00 [Music] and welcome back to careful boys where nick i suck dick is that what it is oh no no no no no no no oh wait that is your line i thought it was like we suck we like titties yeah is it is it me or us colleen i know you like sucking dick i like sucking on titties oh yeah because it rhymes with my name and jio doesn't have a penis yeah barton titties rhymes as well we need a new one honestly i think from now on i'm just gonna point to somebody and see what they say it's a fun improv game hey pointing me well now you're ready for it but hey welcome back to this episode of careful boys where's steve nick sucks dick hey that's pretty good shout out to your boy it does still rhyme when steve has it well aren't we happy that ryan's here yeah ryan how's it going every time ryan's here that means we're still alive
0:50 because ryan still has a job but do you know that michael hasn't killed us yet when i get the call she and this is ryan h my first thought actually is ryan higa oh and you're like yay i'm like he's gonna come in i've gotten that before and people are just like you're not him i'm like i'm not hey why doesn't ryan h come he probably can so what the ████ i heard he doesn't leave his house hook it up vegas ████ too though that's what i heard he doesn't oh yeah by the way yeah we call behind cameras you need to bring graham steph in here because you're just on his show trying to wait you're on graham stephanie yeah he was on the iced coffee hour he's great he did all two-hour podcast about how jk failed it was really good when did this happen uh maybe like last month or a few yeah i was like oh thank god for crypto my other businesses would be ████ i guess this thing's over
1:40 [Laughter] i was like oh wait i got a call sheet today i guess we're going next week for some reason damn come on you let's let's be serious we know you're here for gas money and food that's it baby and a little bit alcohol you know i don't want to spend money on anything but crypto everyone knows about me so yeah you know what's funny is that none of us need to be here like be here but uh excuse me this is my number one job oh really i didn't know that okay so we're here for ryan and ebony [Applause] we were just talking about this earlier of like everyone's got other ████ going on but we're still like coming here as a group to like have fun it's fun it's a nice break but then we want to go harder here in the comic world but then we go oh wait i got these other things i got to be careful we're careful boys
2:31 yeah right well i say wild ████ back at like when i'm not you know here and it gets me in trouble yeah you forget what you see yeah it gets me in trouble do we bring that out of everybody i think so because when we're here dude we're um we're on the go we're saying rangers what is that boys it's mad libs bro i'm grabbing something from here so grab here and then i'll end up saying some ████ that's like inappropriate and then in the wrong setting find inappropriate he has to explain to his wife he's not gay yeah dude every day bro and she already has questions about it yeah a lot of stuff she already has she just burst in the door she's like i'm naked when she watches this video she's like why the ████ is this the tagline why is this the runner huh yeah why is the runner you're kind of gay and i'm i don't know what to tell her it's just that simple one say hey uh honey i know that you've been you know really enjoying yourself on jk news and stuff but i just don't like it when uh anthony
3:21 does the whole care boys and then you say you like dick or something and i'm like babe you don't get it it's for the bit for the boys i do have to say genuinely i'm glad that you're here i very much enjoy your company yeah nick was a great great great great call you know well let's not let's not talk about this no we're gonna talk about it it makes you uncomfortable nick is nick is so like comfortable with us yeah he just kind of seemingly like he just came in and no one noticed him yeah yeah nobody's there he'll notice no one's no this is nick but he's ████ that's how that's how much it works my name is michael what's up he just picks up a check that bounces because it's over according to graham steffen podcast it's ████ done he's just bad-mouthing jk ████ done dude that was a good podcast though was it i didn't remember what happened what were you saying to uh stefan graham about how like jk was like done or failed i just
4:11 made that up dude i don't even know if devin graham that's seven grams no i was just letting him tell the graham crackers i was just letting his questions i guess lead the podcast because he actually didn't really know too much at all so i think at first he thought i was a bodybuilder he called him a ████ uh fitness guru yeah yeah he actually got his ████ what he wanted i get some respect i've been calling her i've been dunking that shot for three years yeah i finally dunk in that shot you know he finally got i don't know how to dunk by the way but i know how to shoot threes ████ i don't wanna shoot threes don't give that shot baby making touchdowns happen in the comments half of the comments were like bart finally got his dream of being a fitness guru really that's what the comments said
5:02 why do you think you're not a fitness guru no that's the best thing is you find it that's why everyone says the funny thing is his branding is a fitness guru not a comedian so if you went on his instagram you wouldn't you would not know with a with a ████ mic though yeah right and that's why graham stefan thought he was a fitness guy because of the perception that you put out on your ████ instagram which is what i've been calling for years he still doesn't course correct he just does the same ████ a little bit true well i guess i'm a fitness group [Applause] but it seemed like um you you you surprised him you said or like yeah because he was like he was like oh so tell me about like bodybuilding and i'm actually not a bodybuilder so i think he was just trying to understand and he's like wait you're a
5:52 comedian because i didn't want to bring your canadian on the show damn dude graham stefan wings it huh no yeah he has the opposite policy that we have so you know we come in here like we miss each other so we just start shooting this ████ and actually like the stuff that's off the off the camera it's actually really good but we're just connecting and talking when we're there it's like uh like let's say his his boy would ask me a question like everything was like save it for camera save it for camera so i even had questions for him and uh i just said it so it was just silent while everyone's just like oh geez like setting seven setting everything up he's smart because we wasted all the good content when the cameras aren't on so he so i think we wanted to talk about the real gay sex and juicing right yeah the stuff that i really do yeah so i think he really wanted to explore and discover on the camera so he just didn't even know so he already started off i'm sorry this s███'s like authentic super out
6:42 there yeah ours is like totally scripted i'm not a bodybuilder i'm a power powerlifter actually that kind of came here like accidentally because i started off in like youtube comedy and then he was just like what what what and i'm just i'm just kind of painting him the whole picture like the last 15. i do agree with steve though in terms of like what you present if i didn't follow more of your ig stories right because your ig stories you get a little bit more comedic with some stuff even though all your ig stories are still ████ lifting exactly bro it's ████ lifting and running around in your ████ black same boxers always shooting ████ nerf guns comes in a pack of 12. they are good pretty good that being said it's a good deal that's a good deal that being said though like joe might be the only person who via instagram is the same guy on instagram i don't think so brother that's true brother [Laughter]
7:34 joe joe chose right now to be inauthentic with just tama brother he never says that ever because even with steve secondly won steve on instagram is we're like like trolling everybody ████ idiots i'm i'm going broke wait let me like i love that so hard i'm not very good at crypto apparently what do you guys okay so we have a shorts lunch then i'm hanging out with my family with my kids okay like the top three the top two right there you're like working out with jk working out you're working out you're working you're working you're you're exercising you're lifting your butt you can't even see himself you're lifting no that's a funny video dude you're doing jitsu fitness guru with a sense of humor you're jiu and a family and a family like we get it you have a family you're a fitness guru who does that comedy on the side very lucrative my yeah my instagram i'd
8:24 still treat it as if like i'm there for my friends so like i'm posting ████ just so so you guys can see it i'm like this fraud right whereas for example i'm trying to market to you guys nick the ear here is close to 10k followers let's pump those numbers up okay let's get them to 10k all you patrons out there could just hook a brother up with the k for ketamine and if you guys need fitness guru advice go to bar kwon how does it feel to be competitors in the game but still sit next to each other you know uh every day i just take shots on barbell brigade behind the camera don't hurt my feelings no actually i love everything barbell brigade does really this is really you dude look how big those ears are bro this is a weird ████ thing you get some lift on that oh so the cauliflower happened from back then huh dude i used
9:15 to get mate i used to get ████ shredded as a kid you look like a mouse kids used to make fun of me for my ears all the time and i had no idea why when i look back at old pictures i'm like oh i totally know why you look like ████ mickey mouse comically big like they were like dumbo you can fly with those things do you think you would have eventually grown into those or i think this will bart's comment damn you can get directv with them it's your ████ 1990s oh okay bart is on brad with his comments yeah yeah cuz sometimes his comments though yeah amazing who finds that you're ████ whack you ████ that's part i don't even remember writing those things you can't get direct tv i was like yeah dude i've heard that my whole ████ life but it's a new material what's the part i know and then i watch this cat only working out and drinking milk i don't even remember writing those things
10:05 on every post that i have bart has some sort of ████ always dude bart can't wait to troll the comments today's video is brought to you by amazon music amazon music has more than 10 million free podcasts and over thousands of music stations can i believe that so many sounds so many so many sounds but amazon music it's not just for like podcasts like this one they have music they have a ton of playlists they have so many stations you can stream from it's pretty uh extensive library of music too and no matter what you're listening to you can go hands-free all you have to say is hey alexa play dance rock music red polka christian love songs death metal love songs get the app and enjoy
10:55 free listening everywhere on your favorite devices and best of all there's no credit card or subscription required so go check it out there's so much music on there thousands of music stations tens of millions of free podcasts just go to amazon.com otr pod to check it out lots of great content is so fun it's easy it's hands-free amazon.com o-t-r-p-o-d oh my last picture i put up he was like you know you're ████ gay dude that's not your wife it's like it's like happy birthday tim yeah yeah yeah exactly exactly so funny this is a front this is a fake marriage that's what he commented and then you have to explain to your wife what the ████ that means it did you read it probably she's probably waiting for me to want to go home right now my favorite ████ is like
11:46 i'm on a meme page or whatever and i see bart's comment or some ████ and i'm like what the ████ that's that's one of the better ways to learn about like how a social influencer or somebody online actually is like look at the way they comment on other people's ████ versus look at the ████ that they post themselves right because we were just talking about this on your podcast like if people if i didn't have jk specifically i probably wouldn't even have like a talking platform and then people would judge me only on my choreography or my audience on your dance right that's all right yeah not your thoughts but the thing is like i'm i'm very uh call it a gemini split personality whatever like i use dance to express the things that i can't do like vocally or verbally right here we i'm an idiot i'm a fool i get it but in dance i i love choreographing to like beautiful music it takes my breath away giving me some sort of emotional stir feeling you know something that like i
12:36 can express myself in some sort of ethereal way and and sometimes people come up to me all right and and they're inspired or impacted by my dance because it's so deep in that sense but then they have no ████ idea that i'm just an idiot like i'm just a goon and that there's a whole total i'm like dr jekyll mr hi whatever when people brand you in the box they can't see outside of that they'd be like what this dude jacks off mr rogers you know what i mean like that's not the jump that i would have made oh ████ joe biden jackson off too i don't know don't fight it for sure don't judge me change my own perception about my artichoke oh dude this new jag [Laughter] holy ████ you jack off man no way me too that's how joe relayed though guys you gotta listen noise yeah yeah yeah yeah i agree i mean humans are very uh they have a lot of different faces you know what i mean
13:26 different no but somebody who weaves at anthony dancing doesn't understand that andy's also like okay bro i got 5k let's de-gen some ████ and i go on zoom with him and he's like buying some ████ that i've never heard of in my life and he's like let's go not true not true i don't buy ████ that's the whole point that social media is not specifically intended to be a perfect reflection of who you are it's it's meant to be yeah exaggerated and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that right if it wasn't hey then curated ████ then curated it to be curated to be curious you have to curate it because you're literally curating it and you're putting it all out there you're why they think
14:16 that you're why the joke lands every time and gets the laugh in the room every ████ time it's because of you it's because you click yeah post you're like yeah yeah every time dude all your stories don't read my comments then exactly those screenshots of them ████ make a compilation dude that's ████ that'll be funny we know people walls of your gym that you own yeah i do i do think in respect this is actually funny because like you know for the last couple years remember how social influencers have uh been getting either harassed or feeling depression because of like you know or people in general who follow other people right are kind of like these people have perfect lies why is my life they're so stupid they believe that ████ that's what i'm saying it's like yo everybody needs to understand that like it's fully fully curated i'm not saying fake no yes
15:06 i'm just saying it's curious one section of your life you know how many people are out there on ████ instagram perfect couple and they're fighting during the whole ████ trip that should happen so many times that sounds like that sounds personal but when no but when you hit the when you hit the record button on the vlog right not doing that while you and geo are ████ going at it yeah you know you're like you clean it up first we can't curate ████ i really want to right but exactly i know you would actually sometimes but sometimes things get taken out of context so i understand their point of view too but exactly he's awesome like i want to show everything ████ that ████ my favorite is when i watch certain people's vlogs and then they have a camera of them waking up out of bed and then they like ah and they do that thing and you forget they're like oh they have to set that up before they do they were like this they ████ hit
15:56 that ████ with their toe and then they went ah my favorite is when i've been to my friends marriage interventions and then i watched their vlog on monday and they're like perfect lighting in love i can't love i can't believe i'm i'm in a dream fairy tale marriage intervention yeah tell me what the ████ is a marriage intervention dude so that they don't get a divorce it's like you do that as a group you know yeah why are you guys there friends show up and then they're going through their 911 and then we're all there to be like no it's fine because uh hopefully it works out it's that fun too yeah it sounds about that funny it's like is there alcohol involved no damn it's like the cleanup crew on 911. it's about that fun yep what's under this rock oh god damn oh god ████ damn okay wow holy ████ that's the worst thing i've ever seen
16:46 time to get the other rock what's up to the next rock yeah yeah we're not ready to lift up that rock yeah i'm not emotionally stable enough why are you guys doing it as a group though can we not do this anymore at all okay we have to clean up okay how many marriage interventions have you been to too many so more than one yeah oh ████ is it is it just a natural phase of or is that just a is that just a your girlfriend it's what i get for being accessible as a friend [Laughter] is that why people still because asian people hide their feelings they don't talk about it they just bury that ████ if it was white people it would be about diddling all right oh god it wasn't about that that's not what we were asking that took a left that's your answer pal that's just the reality of these things white people intervention is stop ████ your sister see a little past diddling i think i earned that joke what's the official definition of deadly just
17:37 someone on the same page as you oh it's everything you're thinking all the above and and more it's just not good it's probably not a rigid rigid definition you're going to penis oh wow sometimes everything and more like you said that's what the uncle thinks he's doing notice he said the uncle oh okay yeah i understand what deadly means now that's all you have to say but it's crazy because a lot of people still don't know that all this ████ is just manipulated yeah like from you know filters to everything yeah and it's just entertainment also i feel like content creators don't really help because everybody's trying to be more genuine and more authentic because that's their thing you know that's their ████ brand is like oh we're so you know authentic or whatever and so everyone's like buys into that brand as part of like what you're watching everything is authentic to a certain point cause not everyone's gonna come
18:27 like a chain russian show everything yeah like applebee's same ingredients but it's the same execution are you eating good in the neighborhood [Laughter] ryan's a big house that's what i'm saying man it smells good drink have you ever gotten gone applebee's just for the bar no is it good it's good it is everything you're imagining and the last time i did that for s████ and giggles there was some dude that was going on about the ████ bible to the bartender and we could not get this ████ bartender's attention he was like oh and then in exodus all of these things happen we're like i just want to pay wait the bartender was in huh yeah he was like cleaning up and like facing away from us like talking to this guy about ████ page yeah and this dude was the guy that was like drinking was ████ plastered like this dude was like this dude was dead drunk pastor huh he's gonna dui later like for sure first that's kind of tied to like super ████
19:17 up this is what i gotta do i gotta talk about the bible with this applebee's bargain i have to convert this ████ bartender i went to an outback steakhouse bar one time very fun and did you get a blooming onion oh no no i went to the bar but i could have i could but uh but the regulars were there and it was very interesting to see how they interact with each other and how they like flirt with each other and ████ because they're all like 45 years old alcoholics and like super outback steak likes 10 years older than us 5 30. yeah exactly what about a cheesecake factory bar that's a little classier a little classy how about just get a six-pack at 7-eleven and go behind the dumpster and drink it with homeless people okay that's really funny but that's something we're not posting on social media that could be joe's new niche check my feed later this is off-brand you shouldn't post it okay okay mom
20:07 i don't say hey people human beings are super complicated and complex everybody's complex it's not about evil it's not about right wrong just know that when you ████ follow bart he's a fitness guru not a comedian in the comments it's a community does he understand yeah he is a comedic dichotomy of man he wears comedy hat and just don't forget when he was young his ████ ears could collect direct tv and let's be real they still probably can you know yeah but it's like kind of fuzzy because you know yeah yeah like you won't get channels seven through eight but like even through eight people complain about the service people say the service sucks [Music]
20:58 [Applause] [Music] you
// end of tape