0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back everybody to a wonderful episode of careful boys today we have the person you've been asking for for so long he is back Jason Cheney why'd you leave us for so long Where Have You Been thank you guys so much thank you guys welcome back thank you Joe welcome back thank you man it's so nice it's so nice t-shirts that say it's so nice that's so nice wait do you have merch but then um I don't want to pack them and do the thing so I just said it's sold out but I have a bunch
0:50 it's not nothing assault but I have a budget you have a shirt that says that's so nice this is your catchphrase you have to have that as a shirt does that feel right it just feels yeah of course if yeah I just um it's like a grateful thing it's like this is a nice thing you know when did you start saying that so much you could um when you say that's I don't know maybe like four or five years I never heard anybody say that's so nice the Pandy kind of I kind of picked up more that's so nice new in the Pandy did you get some more gratitude when did you start saying the pen racially ambiguous if another panty happens are you against the Lockheed or no
1:40 are you your lockies are cool I'll have more lockies um I I feel like some people if you want to do the lucky you could be any but then if you don't want to lock it you can beat on the outside you could be the lucky the any or the Audi okay I'm confused you could go with any or you could be the Audi I want to be sometimes any sometimes out so you don't want you don't want lucky at all you're just in and out the whole time yeah yeah but sometimes I want other people to be inside and I want to be out there is there a particular type of person that you want to be inside um the handies the blacks no I'm sorry I don't know why I said that I apologize so we haven't seen you that's terrible we haven't seen you in so long we actually have to do a
2:30 catching up with Jason now because we don't know where you've been yeah where you've been all over the world you just got in from Washington uh yeah last show we did there's so many jk people that came to Washington yeah thank you guys thank you guys yeah I love when you guys do that we have the best fan you know what's crazy is that every time the JK people when they come out they they all have like the kind of the same Vibe they're all cool they're all nice is the thing seriously they have like that's the JK collabo merch they're all nice but you could tell the insides they're they're a little bit crazy but uh but on the outside they're really nice how can you tell they're crazy on the inside um some some of them would dye their hair and they're like hi I'm like I
3:20 don't think that's you know what I mean I think there's more than just because they dye their hair no would that I think it takes a certain type of personality to be like this is um this purple and green who I am yeah I mean it's like a statement yeah yeah risk you know and then but then yeah you would never die I did it when I was um a little younger and uh what was it like a snow cone yellow blue and red I but then um but then I was like that's not me because I feel like yeah but they're super I never dyed my hair you never have I think I should yeah you might as well live it up what you got what color would you do it though magenta yeah I got you what color is
4:11 magenta it's magenta maybe like a bolder darker version of the box next to a pink yeah like this it's a pink purple it's like Takis what do you think do you think that would look good on him um depends what I wear I feel like a teal I think that'll give you split ends teal Teal's kind of cool your pillowcasing to be so ████ though really it'll die the color rubs off oh ████ what's a color that hasn't been used as much platinum he's black I think that's a good idea oh like it's like matte black flag this is gloss black just so it doesn't shine super dry hair the Black is Black you can find vantablack yeah textured black
5:02 yeah that's that's right and then when you sweat just black little wig do I understand this correctly did you have a kid recently yeah I had a baby like wow what the ████ yeah I didn't even know your wife was pregnant she was Prego how can we never told us was a surprise yeah I was a surprise well thank you I'm surprised yeah he mentioned I got you I got four month Mark holy ████ your kids four months now yeah four months how's it like being a dad I don't know um yeah it's really easy because you don't do nothing on the road I just have it and I'm like but I'm pro-choice um but yeah people act like no you looking for poor choice no this is a funny thing to say
5:54 after being a father No I um I don't want I want it [Laughter] you're convincing yourself yeah I tried to I tried it every day I do but people act like people walk around and act like like um it's normal to have like humans like parents don't really talk about the thing but it's like um it's like a weird thing you know why is it weird like it's just a I'm not I'm not having sex yeah you're not having sex no but yeah so you had a baby without having sex yeah yeah but uh previously yeah oh cause your wife's too tired or what what I think it's just uh you're too tired I I think it's just like the atmosphere is not sexy atmosphere is not
6:44 sexy yeah and then when they go wet and then your penis get soft a little bit oh yeah it feels like it's your problem I think that's the proper response yeah she didn't have a raging bone or what a baby I think the opposite would be a bad problem yeah I don't know is uh and sometimes it's feed the you know feed it and then the breastfeeding no you don't like you don't like how that looks no it looks nice sometimes you're jealous no I don't get jealous maybe a little bit yeah maybe a little bit of which though yeah wow yeah yeah connection real feeling cool you know what the thing is is uh when the what made me really uncomfortable was the newer doctors and I respect all the doctors but when there's there's newer
7:35 dogs like they're young like a young doctor like a young doctor yeah because oh I see what you mean when he put the epidural in my wife's spine yeah he he put it and he was like oh um he said oh um I didn't flopped his hand out like that I'm like what do you mean oh yeah because because like keep it to yourself because yeah because that's because I would say be a professional because when I was a waiter I was a professional yeah I know it's not the same thing but it's like what it is though it is because if you come to the restaurant and you're like hey man where's my food I go well let my friends didn't get my food where's mine and then I'll go the kitchen's really backed up let me go check for you blame it on someone else yeah yeah you that I may have put in his order so you
8:26 want the doctor to go oh they didn't make the needle right yeah and your wife's spine's all weird [Laughter] but he didn't tell you anything else after that did it work though otherwise your wife was like oh ████ okay cool thank God is it her no more like that for a second but then but yeah after it was good but um yeah everything it was I I looked at it and I hurt a little bit and then because of the what are you talking about the JJ yeah did you look
9:18 geez you have to make it so big you have to I have to too so curious I had to like it's it's crazy yeah does your kid have a lot of hair yeah mine too so you see a ████ emerging emerging ████ like you see the vagina lips yeah you just see a ████ emerging just start coming out yeah and then like so Jill's pushing and then the minute she takes a break and then it starts going back in and they're like we're trying to push and then the uh glad you wore a black shirt today man thank God and then and then the uh you wanna use my shirt and the doctor um he was trying to help and he was like this big dude I'm talking about like each one of his fingers look like this he's like don't worry I got you and you're like sticking and ████ like
10:08 lube and he would just like go to that the inside and went away yeah just to help Bloom it up so it comes out I just never seen that thing get stretched out so much in my life some people like rip most women rip it yeah people cut it yeah and then cut it so ████ curious and there's nothing like Geo can do about it because if I want to see she's kind of like prevent me yeah because she's ████ like lockdown yeah yeah and then oh did you get to cut that Bella before I cut it that's pretty cool huh yeah yeah the doctor comes do you want to do on my ████ ammo until the doctor goes oh I'm again do they allow you to cut it with your own choice like a ceremonial song [Laughter] you put on sharper teeth come on
11:01 put it between a hot dog bun I want to bond with my baby um no we're at Cedars uh I think it was the Beverly one oh wow cool okay Cedar cyanide baby how come they've been doing some oh ums at Cedars that's what I'm saying they're the best I thought Kaiser was going to be yeah you know they call Kaiser they call them killer Kaiser really yeah in the healthcare World they call them that yeah no this is just one I hear it because this is what I heard Don't Kill the Messenger dude though but yeah so like fatherhood like what's it like did you did you cry the first time you had your baby no I I uh I didn't cry
11:53 yeah I cried for when my grandfather died but I didn't want to cry but it just came out um yeah so what happened when you got the baby I was like really stressed out um because I just want I I think too much and I just don't want my wife and my the baby to die I was like why did you say it like that role are you training for I don't know what it is I don't want to make it sad what didn't you think either of them were gonna what makes you think either we're gonna die I don't know because sometimes you know like the heartbeat on the monitor is like PPP and then because there's a range and sometimes it's like over or under yeah and the baby was like overall and I don't know medical things and I was like over how long is it gonna die was your baby going oh ████ yeah is it five minutes okay is ten
12:44 minutes is is five hours okay I don't know oh yeah and no one tells you because the guy's too busy going oh um oh um yeah so many times you can't trust his word after this and the stethoscope listen listen and he goes I'm like did you hear the ████ though yeah but he's still here but yeah your baby's first words are oh um that would be really funny yeah did you did you guys do the whole golden hour thing was it golden now take your shirt off and hug the baby belly to belly so that golden hour is like the mom like you want to get the mom oh you want to get the baby on the mom skin the skin contact ASAP yeah they did that so then you can have um like bonding yeah and it's when the doctor did that I was like man ████ that I took my shirt off because I climbed I climbed oh you did it too long and the doctor was laughing I'm like this ain't funny ████ this is real oh that's not a standard for the guy to do nah it's usually the
13:34 dude just like over there I'm like yeah ████ I'm trying to find Tyga so much like you maybe yeah I just took my shirt off right there and I think the doctor was like I guess his first time for anything that sounds like a good doctor yeah were you holding the baby immediately what else you hold the baby and I was where did you go okay you already had the baby hold the whole nine months is my turn yeah you didn't do that no I was like scared I was like you hold it because I don't but I hold it you had her for so long it does come more natural to women I went to moms like when it comes out they just like know the perfect place placement like dad's day one is like I guess I'm supposed to I guess I'm supposed to love you but you know there's I can't put you here I got books
14:24 [Music] I think dads get better at being dads because there are more around it but moms man it was like yeah it goes like this they just forget how to do it what did you decide on a name Eris really [Laughter] but I left like uh two days after I just did the road yeah I was like pro-choice or something so you just have to leave
15:14 yeah but we we did a uh induce so then um like we scheduled it so that I could be there because I didn't want to miss out on demonics yeah oh yeah so I was doing it and do the road um but yeah I don't know but you get to did you always get to see your kid like all the time well in the beginning all the time for the first month yeah okay yeah every day yeah this may have bonded immediately yeah and we have that luxury because they run our own ████ so like we knew what was going on so we kind of like scheduled things oh we're like okay I'm gonna like uh I still worked but then I was able to like go home at a certain time or whatever so I could see the kid as much as possible that's really nice yeah yeah but uh some dads are just better than other dads you know some dogs yeah I didn't like I didn't induce anything and try to leave yeah
16:07 hahaha you stay there that's interesting yeah also worried about that how long did you get to hang out with your baby but I hang out a couple days and then he left for a month I just got back shout out to all the Jacob no keeping me honorable [Laughter] uh yeah I came back and stuff um we left around the road were you like more worried or more you know that's the thing like sometimes um like I I wanna it's hard to I have to shut off my emotions I think like when I'm on the road I don't even want to see you or I think it's like being in prison like sometimes you just don't want to see them because you're like I just forget about you because or or if you keep thinking about it it's like really
16:57 hard yeah oh I know what you mean yeah yeah you'd rather just be present I'm on the road I'm here to do a show I'll do that versus like my brain over there then it constantly constantly haunts you because you have there's nothing you can do because you're ████ another state it's good to learn how to say that differently yeah yeah yeah it sounded so harsh at first yeah I think a kid is like a prison did you get to FaceTime at all yeah FaceTime and I look but you're like I gotta go I don't want to be able [Laughter] yeah but it's nice though send send like all the family oh I didn't know Koreans have like the 100 day things that look baby yeah because they what's that like
17:49 uh when they live to a hundred days they do like a rice cake thing oh cool it's a little ceremony yeah I think before um it's hard for babies to live to 100 days because before that they die sorry sorry shout out to all the ones that didn't I don't know why I said that about that but but she made it so that's good that's cool they put like like money and like like random things to see what to see what the baby grabs and then like you know that game they play oh like the to see if the baby's gonna be a doctor Oh I thought that was to see if it was a Reincarnation of the Emperor or something a lot of babies will wear like the gold things what is that the bracelet yeah I
18:41 don't know what that is Chinese I don't know I thought that's the thing that tells you what you're allergic to yeah or what your mood is right is it that thing that helps you balance look see where's my arm down here just all of those did you guys trust that though like the the balance thing no but a janitor at my old job he's he lived by it he was like his 80 year old grandpa and he goes look and he has like the thing he does the test he goes oh that's so strong he goes you put it on you put it on and you put it on my thing goes oh my God I can't even get it there you got the sales pitch I trusted at first babies could benefit from this yeah you should get one for your baby yeah um just cover your baby in this Power Band just never fall it starts walking
19:34 [Laughter] so have you thought about getting your baby a agent a commercial agent no way baby shoots I would never wanted her to do that what if somebody was like hey you can make some monies how much how much we'll just drink water [Laughter] uh no I want her to have like a normal life and then later if she wants to do it yeah maybe not maybe not a comedian but uh yeah but because I feel like the
20:26 baby um I don't want to do it I don't want to put because this is like a weird way for humans in the beginning I feel like it would be nice to have community and play with other kids and um do slides and stuff what if you're what if your baby went or what if your daughter when she's like eight is like Dad I want to open for you yeah you uh opened us there [Applause] [Music] foreign
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